Living Life with SAMCRO
by AnarchyHarley54
Summary: With her father being a founding member, Jenna navigates through life with SAMCRO. When things get bad, will she and the MC always have each other's back? And can Jenn find out where her true place with SAMCRO is?
1. 001 Pilot

I wiped down the counter before pouring myself a shot of the clear tequila. The strong smell burned my nostrils as the equally intoxicating scent made my mouth water, almost lustfully. A handful of the guys were strewn around the clubhouse, a couple attractive women curled up with some of them. Momentarily I looked around, checking the sleeping faces around the room. A small sigh of relief washed over me as I felt a slight redness spread across my cheeks. I quickly threw the shot down, reveling in the burning sensation traveling down my throat.

"Kind of early for tequila," dad commented as he walked through the door.

He smiled his typical playful grin as he lit a cigarette.

"Didn't sleep well," he asked, his expression more filled with concern now.

"Knowing people want to kill you kinda makes it hard to sleep. But I'm sure you know all about that," I answered, grabbing a broom.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't get any easier," he admitted. "I've got a few things to look over before we leave. Send Kozik in when he gets here," he asked warmly before disappearing into his lair.

I swept with some difficulty, as the cast on my leg limited my movement without the aide of crutches. I pulled out the handy little steam mop and filled the small, clear bottle with water. I began behind the bar, enjoying a joint as I did so.

"What are you doing," an entertained voice questioned from the door.

"Mopping," I began matter-of-factly, "and smoking."

He strolled over and snatched the mop from my hands. I unsuccessfully tried to take it back, but he made it across the room and stood over a sleeping Lee. I raised my eyebrows as if daring him to make his move.

"Get up and mop this floor," he yelled in a booming voice before dropping the mop onto Lee's head and quickly dashing out of the way.

Lee grumbled before rubbing his head then tossing the mop at Kozik, who barely slid out of the way. Lee muttered several explicit words while storming out into the sunlight.

I took a puff, watching him leave, before handing it over to Herman.

"My dad's waiting for you," I revealed, gauging his expression.

As I looked over at him, I caught him looking me over instead.

I blushed lightly and looked away as I added, "don't keep him too long. He's taking me to get this bad boy off."

"Lee can finally stare at your legs again," he teased with a laugh, disappearing with the joint as I threw a lighter at his head.

"What's up, boss," Kozik greeted, sitting to the right of Billy.

"We're doing the run tonight," Billy revealed.

"Tonight? I thought it was on Wednesday," Herman questioned with confusion.

"We've got a rat. I said Wednesday, so the Mayans would think Wednesday. You are the only one who knows. I'm telling the others at the last minute. Anyway, I need you here tonight," Billy told him.

"Wait, I'm not going," Herman asked, confused once more.

"Look, I don't really give a shit about these guns. We lose them, we'll eventually recover. If I can prevent it, I will. But I will need someone I can trust here, with Jenna. They can fill me full of bullet holes, Herman, but I will not lose my daughter," Billy explained.

"Alright. I won't let anything happen to her, Billy," he assured the aging man.

Billy stood up and began heading for the door.

"Um, can I talk to you about something," Kozik asked, putting out the roach.

"When I come back," Billy suggested. "If I don't leave now, Jenn will be late and she'll kill me."

"Alright," Kozik agreed, exiting the room behind the club President.

"You ready, Jenn," Billy asked.

"Definitely," she responded, looking Kozik and her father over, trying to figure out what had been said behind closed doors.

Billy noticed the difference in Jenna when Herman was around. She was always a generally happy person, but it seemed like Kozik's presence had a tendency to intensify that. At first the attraction bothered Billy. He wasn't sure he wanted his daughter dating anyone in the club, especially someone who was basically labeled as the club's enforcer. When he gave the idea some more thought, he later decided that if Jenn was going to be pursuing anyone in the club, he would rather it be Kozik. He had proved his loyalty time and time again. He had always shown a great deal of respect for Billy and Jenna.

"Yeah, definitely ready to be rid of this thing," she responded, shooting a glance at Herman before grabbing her crutches and heading out the front door.

"So, you're really going to do this," I asked as my dad drove my car toward my doctor's office.

"I'm getting too old to be at the head of the table, Jenna. Once I get everything situated, I'm stepping down. Lee will be the new Pres," he told me, making sure I understood his decision was final.

"Just…be careful," I almost begged.

"Speaking of careful, I need to talk to you. Tonight, we're running the guns down south. I need you to stay at the clubhouse. I've got someone staying with you," he revealed.

"Tonight?! Dad, that's not safe," I protested. "A night run is dangerous."

"It's safer than going Wednesday, when the Mayans think we're going," he responded.

"Alright, I'll give you that. But I'll be fine, dad, take Lee with you," I suggested.

He looked over at me to see an irritated expression on my typically happy face.

"I'm not leaving Lee," dad revealed. "I'm leaving Herman."

I could feel him staring again. He was trying to read me, something I always hated.

"You like him," he commented, watching the road now.

"Dad, I really don't want to talk guys with you," I tried to end the conversation quickly.

"That's a yes," he decided with a smile. "Why do you two skirt around like this?"

"Dad, please," I begged, blushing as we pulled into the parking lot of the doctor's office.

"Fine, I'll drop it. But pretty soon Lee's going to be trying more than just looking," he warned.

After the appointment, I drove back to the clubhouse, dropping my dad off.

"You're not coming in," he asked, obviously concerned about me being alone.

"I'm going home for a bit. I want to shower, get some clothes, and eat something that isn't from the clubhouse or a fast food place," I admitted.

"I'll send Kozik out so you won't be alone," he suggested.

"No, dad. I'll be fine. They don't know I'm leaving here. As far as they know, I'm safely tucked away with the club, still wearing that damn cast," I tried to assure him.

It didn't work.

"I don't want you alone until this is over," he told me firmly.

I waited for him to turn his back and get about ten feet from the car. Then I took off, leaving the clubhouse in my rear view mirror. I could see my dad's frustration in his body language as I drove away.

I made it home without incident. Before getting out of the car, I pulled a handgun out of the glove box and placed it carefully in my open purse. I glanced around the neighborhood, looking for anything that seemed out of place. Everything appeared normal. Not a single strange car or out of place or motorcycle in sight.

I had my key ready and got out of the car, quickly entering the house. Everything was just as I had left it. I noticed that there wasn't any dust, which was unusual since I hadn't been home to clean in what felt like ages. Dad must have asked someone to keep the place clean for me.

I locked the door, including the dead bolt, and headed into the bed room. I pulled out some clothes, throwing them on the bed, then picked the black dress I would wear after my shower. Everything else would go into a bag.

I grabbed a towel and went into the bathroom, turning the water on and brushing my long, blonde hair before peeling off the jeans, white tank top, and black and white Converse. Within minutes I found myself standing under the hot waterfall.

I didn't take long, eager to return to the clubhouse. I'd have to deal with my dad, but I decided it would be relatively worth it. I shut the water off and inhaled the steam. It was then that I heard what sounded like a door closing somewhere in the house. I quickly threw on the thin blue robe, knotting it shut, and grabbed the gun off my bed. I quietly moved toward the bedroom door, taking a quick breath before opening it.

"Woah, it's just me," Herman announced, lowering his weapon.

I let out a sigh of relief and lowered mine.

"You scared the hell out of me," I reprimanded, hitting him on the arm.

"Your dad's pretty pissed," Herman commented, forcing himself to keep his eyes on mine.

I gave a knowing smirk and turned back toward my room.

"I'll be out shortly, and you can take me back to the clubhouse," I told him.

"I'll, uh, I'll wait out here," he responded, his demeanor suddenly nervous.

"Get a hold of yourself," Kozik muttered to himself as he waited for Jenna to get dressed.

He couldn't help but think of the fact that a gorgeous woman was in the next room, naked. She wasn't like most women who found themselves some way or another connected to the club. Jenn was almost like one of the guys. She was tough, smart, knowledgeable about things most women weren't. She was _almost_ like one of the guys. She certainly wasn't one of the guys, however. She was, for lack of a better word, perfect.

"You can't do this," he told himself as he paced the living room.

"Can't do what," I asked as I reentered the living room where Herman was pacing.

"Oh, uh, nothing. I'll explain later," he responded, wondering how long he could stall and what kind of explanation he could come up with by then.

"I'm ready whenever you are," I told him, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"I've got it," he offered, grabbing the shoulder strap and awkwardly stepping back.

"Are you okay," I asked, sensing the tension as he got closer.

"Yeah," he answered, opening the door for me to pass through, "of course."

I left first, locking the door after his exit. For a short, awkward moment, we stood close. I could feel myself blushing lightly, hoping it wasn't noticeable.

"Uh, we…should probably get back," he suggested, gently ushering me toward my car.

"I'll see you back at the clubhouse," I asked hopefully.

"Yeah," he responded. "Don't forget, I'll be babysitting tonight," he added with a joking nature.

"Well, a girl like me could use some looking after," I told him flirtatiously.

I got into the car as he got on his bike. Kozik followed me back to the clubhouse and it wasn't long before I pulled into a space and he beside me. Within seconds, he was opening the back door and pulling my bag out. I stepped out of the car, momentarily leaning against the car door as I realized the impending doom ahead.

"You may as well get it over with," Kozik suggested. "He'll pull you into his office, I'm sure."

I let out a small sigh, "here goes nothing."

With Kozik close behind, I headed inside to see most of the guys either sitting around or playing pool. Lee glanced over, admiringly, then clenched his teeth when he saw Kozik follow in.

"Your dad's waiting for you," he told me, obviously wanting me away from Kozik as quickly as possible.

"I figured as much," I responded as I headed to my father's office.

"I'll put your bag in the back room," Kozik informed me as I entered my dad's office.

I closed the door behind me, catching the tail end of a phone conversation.

"Alright, thank you," he finished. He turned to see me, fixing a troubled expression with a more stern one.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed," he asked calmly.

"Just to let you know, Kozik almost got shot because you sent him after me, dad. I was in no danger until you had someone come into my house and scare the hell out of me," I told him matter-of-factly, sitting across from him as he sat behind his desk.

"Look, Jenn, please, just deal with the babysitter crap. I promise, it will all be over soon. The sooner I get this deal finished for Clay, the sooner I can take care of the damn Mayans," he tried to assure me.

"Alright. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have worried you like that. But no more of this Lee shit. I want someone with me who doesn't make me feel so damn uncomfortable," I bargained.

"Fine. Lee's out. I don't completely trust him with you anyway. I don't like the way he looks at you. I know you're a grown woman, but your still my daughter. And you need a guy who treats you with some respect," he commented.

"Like," I questioned, pulling out a joint and lighting up.

"Well, not Jax Teller, that's for damn sure," he told me.

"How did you," I began before he interrupted.

"Jenny, there isn't much that goes on in this building that I don't know about. You and Teller leave together after a night of drinking and smoking, everyone has to know," he told me, forcing a flushing sensation to my cheeks.

"Dad, like you said, we were drunk and high, and I swear, it will never happen again," I promised, embarrassed that my father even had a hint of the wild night I had with Jax.

"I know it won't. You don't look at Jax like you do Herman," he told me, giving that same knowing smile.

"Back to this, huh," I asked, offering the joint, which he momentarily considered before taking.

"I see the difference in you when you're around him, I really do. I think he's the same around you," my dad commented.

"Look, if you really want to know, dad, I'm taking advantage of the opportunity you've presented me with. I'm talking to Herman tonight," I told him, my smile returning now.

"Talking," he asked skeptically.

"Are you calling me a slut," I asked, partially seriously.

"Jenna, I'm not stupid. Despite what you may think, you can't hide a damn thing from me. I know just about, if not every, guy you've been with. I'm not saying you're easy by any means, but I'm your father, my instinct is to protect my baby girl, and her heart. Now, I don't believe Kozik will hurt you, but, please…don't completely give yourself up…keep a piece at least," he advised.

"Dad, I'll be good…okay," I told him. "I really like Herman…I don't want to ruin things."

"Be careful," I told dad just before he brought his bike roaring to life.

"You too," he said in return before giving me a hug.

Kozik and I watched as the guys left, the truck with guns exiting the lot first. I looked over to see a slightly longing expression.

"You want to be with them," I suggested, smiling over at him.

"No. Well, I worry about your dad. Aside from that, I, uh, don't mind," he thought carefully, "staying behind."

"You don't mind," I asked, slowly heading inside with him in tow.

He paused for a moment, a guilty smile on his face.

"Maybe that was a poor choice of words," he admitted.

He locked up behind himself, sealing the two of us alone in the clubhouse.

I went behind the bar and watched as he sat down at a table in the center of the room. I pulled a bottle of tequila off the shelf and grabbed two shot glasses. I set them down on the bar.

"Drink," I asked, advertising the beer I was pulling out of the fridge.

"Yeah," he answered, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

I walked over and set down a beer in front of him and one in front of an empty chair. I felt his eyes on me as I returned to the bar, grabbing the shot glasses and tequila. I smiled as I returned back to the table, watching him quickly gulp down some beer.

I sat next to him, pouring a shot for myself. I looked over at him, silently asking him if he was interested in the clear liquor. He nodded, downing the rest of the beer. I poured his shot as he got up, going to grab another beer.

"Are you okay," I asked, drinking from my ice cold beer.

"Yeah. I'm great," he answered, returning to his seat.

"You seem…nervous," I told him.

We both downed our tequila shots. I poured seconds, waiting to down it until I was done with the beer.

He shot a look of confusion my way momentarily before responding, "I'm not nervous. I guess I'm…conflicted."

"About," I asked, pulling out a joint and lighting it.

"I've keep trying to talk to your dad, but it feels like he's dodging me. I guess I'm wondering if he knows what I want to talk to him about and that's why he's putting it off," he partially admitted.

"Well, dad's got a lot going on right now. My guess is it's more to do with that," I told him.

"What did you want to talk about," I inquired, passing the joint.

"You really don't make this easy," he told me, smiling over at me. "I'm trying, incredibly hard, to be good right now. And all day long you've been…very…tempting," he continued, passing the joint back.

I smiled at him, lightly blushing as I smoked, "tempting?"

"Jenn, you have no idea how difficult it's been for me to…control myself around you," he admitted. "When I found you at your place…you put that on…you've been teasing me all day."

I set the joint down in the ash tray and leaned toward him, kissing him. He pulled me closer, intensifying the passion. I soon found myself in his lap. And before I knew it, he was standing, allowing me to wrap my long, tan legs around his thick, muscular waist. He carried me to the bar and set me down. I found my hands roaming his chest as his explored my exposed legs. My hands wandered to his belt, slowly undoing it.

"Wait," he hesitantly pulled back, taking my hands in his.

"What? Is something wrong," I asked, a confused expression on my face.

"I can't do this," he told me flatly.

"You…don't want me," I asked, a flicker of pain in my voice.

He turned back to face me, a mixture of confliction and disbelief in his eyes.

"What? Seriously? Jenna, you have no idea how many times I've thought about doing this. Even on this very counter," he confessed, forcing a blush to rise in my cheeks. "But I don't just want this…I want you. I want to do this right."

"What do you mean," I asked, still coming down from the high his lips gave me.

"I've been trying to talk to your dad because, well, I want his approval," he admitted.

I smiled at Herman, "approval? Herman, we aren't in nineteen hundred."

"No, but my family was kind of old school. My dad asked permission to date my mom. My brother-in-law asked for my sister. It's just…I guess a respect thing," he told me.

"My dad likes you. In fact," I began with a laugh, "he's been kind of egging the idea of…us on."

He paced momentarily. I slid off the counter and grabbed his arm, prompting him to stop and face me.

"I'll wait. If this is what you want, I suppose I can…be good," I told him with a smile.

He leaned down to kiss me once more. However, the perfect moment suddenly came crashing down when thunderous bullets came flying through the walls. Herman grabbed me around the waist and pulled the both of us to the floor.

"Fuck," he thought out loud.

"What," I asked, watching him pat himself down.

"I left the gun on the fucking table," he admitted in frustration.

I scrambled to the corner of the bar as we heard the door get busted down. I heard the aggressive voices gibbering in Spanish as I shoved the top shelf clear. I grabbed the stainless steel 9mm and almost slammed a clip in, panicking to keep the both of us alive. Kozik reached for the gun.

Before I knew it, I was standing, aiming the gun at two men who wore Mayan leathers. And seemingly seconds later, both men lay dead on the floor of the clubhouse. I continued to hold the gun out, as if waiting for another man to walk through the busted door. Herman was at my side now, careful not to scare me. He put one hand on my back and the other gently grabbed the gun. He wouldn't take his eyes off of me. I couldn't take my eyes off of the two dead bodies.

"Jenn," he called to me, "hey…are you okay?"


	2. 002 Seeds

*** Okay, got this on out super early. Thanks for reading! I only own my own OC's ***

"Jenna, are you okay," Kozik questioned, putting the gun under the counter as he carefully pulled me toward him.

"I've…never shot anyone…before," I admitted, as I realized my heart was pounding.

I leaned against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me in comfort.

"They were trying to kill you. You had no choice. You shouldn't feel guilty for this," he said consolingly.

"That's the thing," I pulled back and looked up at him, "I don't."

Herman felt a warm liquid trickle down his arm. He removed his arm from around my waist and investigated the crimson trail down his arm.

"You're bleeding," he commented, quickly looking me over.

He gently tugged at a rip in the side of my dress. He glanced around the floor quickly, suddenly realizing that when we hit the floor earlier, I landed on some broken glass.

"We have to get this out," he told me, feeling the glass imbedded in my side.

I lightly winced at the pain, eyeing the blood seeping through the fabric. I grabbed a bottle of vodka from under the counter.

"Wait at the table, I'll be right back," I instructed, disappearing into the back room.

I scavenged through the first aide kit, pulling out some gauze and medical tape. Just as suspected, there was no rubbing alcohol. I decided to settle for the bottle of vodka. Searching through my overnight bag, I pulled out a pair of tweezers. I grabbed a large t-shirt and a pair of shorts to sleep in. Within moments, I returned to the table where Herman was waiting for me, a concerned look on his face.

The two shots of tequila remained untouched on the table. I held up a shot glass, downing the tequila as he joined me. I moved the glasses to the chair and slid my boots off as I sat on the table in front of him. I slowly pulled the black dress over my head and dropped it to the floor. I watched as Kozik looked away, obviously trying his hardest to be a gentleman as mentioned earlier.

"You'll have to look at me to pull this glass out," I told him with a smile.

"Like I said, you don't make this easy," he told me, reaching past me to grab the bottle of tequila.

He took a large swig before I grabbed the bottle, taking one myself. I set the bottle back down and grabbed the nearby lighter. I took the tweezers and held them in the flame for a moment before pouring the vodka over them.

"I need you to pull out the chunk of glass. It's going to hurt, but I need you to do it. Then, as much as it's going to hurt even more, I need you to make sure there isn't anything smaller inside. After that, pour the vodka on. Dry it with this gauze, then this one bandages me up. And use that tape," I explained.

I looked back over at him, catching his gaze as he stared up at me. I smiled down at him before handing him the tweezers. He fixed his distracted gaze onto the cut, and slowly approached the shard with the tweezers. He carefully gripped the glass with the tweezers. I forced myself to watch his face, a site that would surely distract me from the pain I was about to feel. I clenched my teeth, preparing for the worst.

Moments later, I closed my eyes, jaw clenched harder, and inadvertently grabbed his shoulder, for support. I squeezed his shoulder as I felt the glass slowly leave the wound. I released when I heard the shard drop onto the table.

"Give me a second," I asked, "before you go back in."

"It only looks about an inch or so deep, so I doubt I'll find more, but I still need to look," he informed me as he rubbed my back in comfort.

"Can I ask you for something," I questioned, taking another swig of the tequila before passing him the bottle.

He graciously took a swig before responding, "what's up?"

"It's kind of an…odd request, I guess," I continued on. "Can you…distract me, while I look for more glass?"

"Distract," he asked, staring into my eyes.

I pulled him towards me, kissing him again. As he instinctively deepened the kiss, I searched inside the wound. The pain didn't exist now, only the feeling of his lips on mine. His hands on my waist sent a chill down my spine. When I was certain there was nothing left, I allowed my clean hand to run through his hair while the bloody one remained on the table.

I regrettably pulled my lips away from his.

"I told you I'd be good," I said with a smile.

He smiled back at me, "you won't have to…be good for too much longer."

I let out a small sigh, "thank you. Thank you for everything tonight."

"Hey, you saved your own life tonight…and mine. So, thank you," he said in return.

I forced myself to take my eyes off of his and looked around the room. There were bullet holes in the wall behind the bar. Broken glass and liquor were spread behind the bar. And two dead bodies lay nearby the open entrance.

"I, uh, I guess we should patch me up. Then, figure out what to do with this mess," I suggested, knowing if I didn't soon find a distraction I would go back on my word about being good.

I poured the vodka on the cut and winced at the suddenly outrageous stinging sensation. He gently dried up the vodka and some blood with a large chunk of gauze. He grabbed the other pieces of gauze and folded one up, putting some pressure on the cut. Herman covered the blood-stained gauze with a second piece, taping the edges down first, then adding some tape across to keep a bit of pressure.

"So, what do we do with them," I asked as he tore his eyes away from me to glance at the two dead Mayans.

"I'll fix the door, but we leave them for your dad to decide," Herman advised.

He returned his eyes to me, biting his lip as he admired the black lace on my skin, "and, uh, you'll have to put these on."

"Am I tempting you," I teased, pulling the shirt over my head.

"I'll just say, we won't be fixing or cleaning anything if you don't put some clothes on," he admitted.

Kozik fixed the door frame, a temporary fix until someone could get the proper pieces the next day. Meanwhile, I swept up the broken glass and mopped up the spilt liquor. Afterwards, we reclaimed our seats at the table, smoking and drinking for hours.

Hours later, we heard the front door open. In a drunken and stoned state, I looked up to see the guys allowing the bright sunlight to flood inside the clubhouse. All eyes were on the two dead Mayans, except for Lee's. His jealous and angry glare flitted from Kozik and myself sitting comfortably at the table and the dress laying on the seat of the chair.

"Looks like you've been busy," Lee commented snidely.

My dad shot him a murderous glare, which Lee ignored as he grabbed a bottle of whiskey from behind the counter.

"What the fuck happened here," my dad questioned.

"They burst in and fired on us," I said before Kozik could answer.

"And you took care of them," my dad asked Herman.

Before Herman could answer, I answered indirectly, "if Herman wasn't here, I'd be dead."

My dad looked the both of us over and noted the bloody gauze on the table.

"Were you hit," he questioned, rushing over.

"No," I said before he could inspect me as if a damaged item. "I fell on some glass."

"Can I talk to you for a minute," my dad gestured for Kozik to join him in his office.

I warily watched as Herman obliged and followed my dad inside, closing the door behind them. Nervously, I lit a joint as the guys settled in, some drinking and others readying to head home to their old ladies.

"How bad is she, really," Billy asked, sitting across the desk from Kozik.

"She's actually…fine," he answered. "She was a little freaked at first, but she calmed down pretty quickly."

"She's never shot anyone before," Billy surprised Kozik with his knowledge.

"How did you know," Herman asked in disbelief.

"She made a pretty big point to make sure you didn't answer. She didn't want you to lie for her. But she figured I would be upset with both of you if I knew she had killed them," Billy explained.

"I'm sorry," Herman began as Billy interrupted.

"Don't apologize. I know Jenn can take care of herself. You were here for two reasons. One, to ensure that nothing happened to her. Nothing happened to her. And two, because you make her happy," Billy admitted.

"I swear, I didn't," Kozik began before finding himself interrupted yet again.

"Herman, I don't care. All that matters is her happiness. I want to see my girl happy before it's too late," Billy admitted.

"Billy, I care about her. And I want to know that you would be okay with it if I were to…pursue, for lack of a better word, a relationship with Jenna," Herman took a turn to admit something.

"I see how the two of you are together," Billy admitted. "Well, Herman…all I really have to say…is that it's about damn time. You two have had eyes for each other since the day you stepped into this clubhouse."

"Have the both of you been up all night," Billy asked, slightly concerned.

"I don't think she could sleep with the dead Mayans in the clubhouse. So, I kept her company," Kozik thought out loud.

"Well, what do you think we should do with them," Billy asked, curious about Herman's opinion on the matter.

"Well, I say we take their leathers and send them back to their Prez, with their heads underneath," Kozik angrily thought out loud.

"They really pissed you off," Billy commented with an equally sadistic laugh.

"Well, coming after a man is one thing. But when some son of a bitch comes after my girl," he began, "the bastards will pay."

"I'll get the Prospects on it," Billy agreed. "How about you take Jenn and get some sleep. And, I do mean sleep…don't forget that I'm in this clubhouse and we can hear things."

Herman nodded with an almost embarrassed smile, "we'll get some sleep."

I never took my eyes off the door, wondering what could be going on behind. I could feel Lee's eyes on me. I ignored him as I waited for Herman and my dad to reappear. Before too long, Herman left the room. He came over, smiling down at me, and sat beside me at the table.

"Tonight, how about you and I do something," he asked, very vaguely.

"Do something," I asked. "Are you asking me to go on a date with you?"

"Yeah," he admitted with a smile.

"About time, Herman Kozik," I told him. "Yeah…I'll go wherever you want," I finished with a smile and a wink.

"Well, we can worry about the where later. For now, your father has asked me to make sure you get some sleep," he told me, accentuating the word sleep.

I heard a glass slam onto the bar and, who I assumed was Lee, storming out of the building.

"My father said that, huh," I asked, ignoring Lee's angry exit.

He took my hand and guided me back to the room I had been staying in since I first broke my leg. And for the first time, I was glad that I was going back to the dull room.

"You're lucky that my dad's here…and that I'm too tired to convince you otherwise," I told him, closing the door behind me.

I slid his vest off, laying it neatly on the nearby armchair. He slid his shoes and socks off, soon removing his shirt. I pulled him toward the bed as he smiled at me. He climbed into the bed and I curled up into his muscular chest, taking in his scent and the feel of his skin on mine as I fell asleep in his arms.


	3. 003 Fun Town

I woke with a smile, feeling the warm body against mine. If he hadn't been there as physical proof, I would have thought the entire night had been some wonderful dream. How could I possibly be lucky enough to be in the arms of Herman Kozik. Surely he could have any woman he wanted. But he was here, with me. I smiled into his chest and quietly crawled out of the bed, careful not to wake him.

I grabbed some clothes from the dresser and a towel before hopping into the shower. The hot water washed over me, stinging the cut on my side. I didn't stay in for long, intending to leave some hot water for Kozik. I quickly dried off and re-bandaged the cut, hoping to prevent infection. I dried my hair and threw on some clothes. I tossed the damp towel into the laundry bin. I went back into the bedroom. Kozik was still sleeping. I climbed onto the bed and brazenly straddled him. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his, almost immediately getting a reaction. His response was to kiss me back, resting his hands on my waist. As I continued to entice him, reality seemed to suddenly hit him as he quickly but gently lifted me up and set me down beside him. He sat up, breaking the kiss.

"I told your dad," Herman groggily began before I interrupted.

"If he doesn't already, my dad is just going to love you," I commented, getting up and putting on some socks and shoes.

He sat close by as I did so, resting his head on my shoulder. I felt him smile before he followed up by kissing my neck. A chill ran from my neck down my spine.

"Okay, you have to stop," I told him regretfully.

"Why," he asked, vengefully teasing me as I had been doing to him.

"If you don't, I won't have as much self-control as you do. And we will be in here breaking whatever promise you made to my dad. And I really have to get that bike fixed before I can count myself done for the day," I reminded him.

"Alright," he said with a smile, "good point."

"I left you some hot water. I'm gonna go ahead and get some work done. Are we still on for tonight," I asked hopefully.

"Of course, Jenn. Why wouldn't we be," he questioned, a hint of worry in his voice.

"I don't know. Honestly, if you hadn't been here with me when I woke up, I would have convinced myself that everything had been a dream," I admitted bleakly.

"Why would you do that," he inquired, confusion etched on his face.

"I suppose it seems like you…being with me…is, well, too good to be true," I told him. "You could have any woman you want," I told him, trying to hide the regret in my voice as I admitted something I wouldn't normally admit.

"Jenna, I'm the lucky one. I don't think you see yourself very clearly," he told me, taking my hand. "You're smart, gorgeous, and one of the few women who has both and a personality. You don't notice how some of these guys look at or think of you, do you," he asked.

I decided to dodge the question, "why didn't you ask me out before?"

"Partially because I didn't believe you were interested. Partially because I wasn't sure if that wouldn't be considered a betrayal of your father's trust. And, for a while, I found myself, along with several of the others around here, wondering if you and Jax Teller had something going on," he admitted.

"Does everyone know about Jax," I asked, looking down at my feet in shame.

"If not, then I would say most do. Why do you seem upset," he asked, even more confused by my shameful reaction.

"Jax and I were never anything more than some fling. If he was in town, then we would…party," I put lamely.

"Hey, don't," he told me. "Don't act like it's some horrible thing. All of us guys do the same damn thing. Besides, you're a woman, who…obviously," he teased me once more by kissing my sensitive neck, "has urges."

I lightly bit my lower lip. Before I would allow myself to become lost in his temptations, I stood up.

"So, that whole thing doesn't bother you," I asked, making certain that my past with Jax wouldn't be an issue.

"No. We're adults. I can handle that you had a relationship with someone else. Besides, it doesn't matter what you've done in the past…what matters is what you do from now on," he assured me.

"You say that like you're planning on sticking around, Herman," I suggested with a hint of a smile.

"I'm not planning on going anywhere…at least, not without you," Kozik revealed with a smile in return.

"I, um, I'd better go get to work on that Harley," I suggested with a blushing smile.

"While you do that, I should get in the shower. How about we head out around seven," Kozik asked, standing inches from me.

"Seven sounds good," I responded, leaning up to kiss him one last time.

After a short, but passionately sweet kiss, I found myself working on the bike. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing at all. At this point, everything mechanical was a routine. I could probably take care of this bike blindfolded. All I could think about was tonight. I vaguely wondered what my future with Kozik, if there really was one, could hold.

"Jenn, are you listening," a voice pulled me out of my daydreaming trance.

"Huh," I asked, looking up to see Lee standing about two feet away, looking down at me.

"I just wanted to tell you that while it may be hard to believe, I'm glad you're happy," Lee told me. "And, we've taken care of the dead Mayans."

"Thanks," I responded, surprised by his friendly nature. "I, um, I figured you would be mad right now."

"I'll admit, I was pretty pissed earlier. I've been trying to get your attention for ages. It hadn't occurred to me until recently that you were into Kozik. But I thought about it some, and there's not really a point in getting mad over losing something I never really had in the first place," he surprised me once more with his sudden maturity.

"Well, you're just full of surprises all of a sudden, aren't you Lee," I questioned with a laugh.

"Oh ya, your dad wanted me to tell you something. Next week, Clay and the Charming guys are coming up for some business. He was hoping you could put together some kind of dinner or whatever," Lee informed me, distracting himself momentarily with a brunette pulling her BMW into the lot.

I smiled at how quickly Lee had seemed to move on.

"Yeah, just tell him to let me know who all is going to be there. By the time he gets back here, if he even comes back today, I'll be gone. Just tell him to leave me a list or something on his desk," I told Lee before adding, "now go help the girl with the lower back tattoo."

He smirked at the opportunity to hit on the girl who he could now see had a butterfly tattoo on her lower back as she bent over to get something out of her car.

"Everything alright," Herman asked, obviously worried that Lee's reaction to the two of us being together would anger or upset me.

"Yeah. He was just telling me how the Charming guys are coming in next week. My dad expects me to put something together. So I guess I need to make sure there's plenty of beer, liquor, women, and food. I'm not exactly an excellent party planner, but that sounds, right. Did I leave anything out," I asked, making a mental list of the general things a party could or would entail.

"Sounds good to me. Besides, you don't have to worry too much. You've always done an awesome job in the past," he told me with a smile. "Are you about finished with this bad boy?"

"Yeah. I'll be done in about ten minutes. Then I'm going to head inside and clean up," I told him.

"I've got another thirty on this car over here. Then I'll head home and get cleaned up. I'll be back here around seven to get you," Kozik assured me.

"You know, maybe you should stay dirty," I started with a devious smirk. "You'll just be hot and sweaty later," I finished with a teasing wink.

"You would think that I'd get use to these little temptations you keep throwing my way, but you are constantly surprising me," he admitted with a smile.

After I finished with the bike, pulling it into a space outside the garage, I went into the office and finished up a bit of paperwork. I figured I would have time to get at least a little paper work done if Kozik would have to go home, get ready, then come back. It didn't take long for me to get caught up in the numbers. To my surprise, my dad had come back to the shop.

"Don't you have a date," he asked, worried that something had already gone wrong.

"What time is it," I asked, almost frantically searching for a clock.

"It's just after six," he answered, looking at his watch.

"Shit. Well, I'm done with your boys bike. I called and let him know. He's picking it up first thing in the morning. Lee told me about next week. I just need the day and who all is coming, then I'll have everything set up by then. Oh, and I got mostly caught up with the paperwork. I'll finish up tomorrow when I get here," I explained quickly.

"Alright, Jenny. Thanks. I'll leave you all the info concerning the Charming guys on your desk," he began, "go ahead. Go get ready."

Forty five minutes later, I had showered, changed, and put on make up. My white dress, with black stripes, fell about mid-thigh. The top cascaded off my shoulders and down my chest, looking almost like a Greek goddess' gown…but much shorter.

To avoid the guys and their typical feminine gossiping after the two of us left, I snuck through the garage and to my office. I went through the office door to wait outside, seeing Herman waiting for me. I smiled as I approached, momentarily looking his bike over before admiring the dark red button up shirt he wore.

"I don't think I've ever seen you even remotely dressed up," I admitted. "I like it…it's very sexy."

He admiringly flitted his eyes to view me in my black heels and white and black dress. It had only been recently that Kozik had seen me in a dress two days in succession of one another.

"So should we take your car," he asked, reaching for my keys.

"Since today is the first day I'm without a cast in what seems like an eternity, I'm going to say yes. Plus, my dad may quickly move you to the shit list," I added. "Oh, and bikes and dresses don't really go hand in hand."

"Your dad rides a bike, why would he get mad about you being on one," Herman asked, taking my keys as he walked me to the passenger door of the Lexus.

"Oh yeah, you were helping the Charming chapter out for a bit when I actually got into that accident, weren't you? Well, it was right after the Mayans started following me around. One of them ran me off the road. I got really lucky that my leg was all that broke. I have no idea how, but I managed to walk away with a broken leg and a few broken ribs. There was some soreness, of course, but otherwise it was all bruising," I began the story.

Kozik open my door, prompting me to pause while went around and entered from the driver's side. He started the car while I continued, "my dad and I got into a pretty heated argument. He just wouldn't drop the whole thing. He told me the only way he would chill out was if I sold my bike," I revealed. "So, I showed up the next week with the cash I got from the sell, and he's left me alone about it. If he sees me on your bike, he may lose it again," I warned.

"Good to know. So, I figure, if you're up for it, we can got have a couple drinks and shoot some pool for a bit. Then maybe grab a bite. After that, you'll just have to wait and see," he informed me.

"I'm up for whatever and wherever you want to go," I told him with an assuring smile.

We got to the pool hall and quickly grabbed a table along with a couple beers. As we flirted and got competitive, Herman and I took one of our few moments alone to get to know one another.

"So, can I ask you about you and Jax," Kozik questioned.

"I thought it didn't bother you," I asked, a small trace of worry in my voice.

"Oh, no, it's not that. I was just kind of wondering how the two of you met. A few months ago I overheard someone mentioning how the two of you were old friends," Kozik admitted.

"Oh, right. Well, I haven't always lived here. I, uh, I actually spent most of my childhood in Charming. When my dad couldn't deal with the shit Clay's got them into, we split and came here. Believe it or not, but I actually grew up with Jax. I was a year behind him and Tara in school. Tara and Jax had this off again on again thing going on. He tended to screw up a lot with her. Well, it kind of started off as, I guess, friends with benefits. At least, when he and Tara were off. When they were together, I stayed away from him, in that aspect. We were still friends, though. Tara moved on after a while, moving up north somewhere. By then I was up here. Jax came to visit, and…well, old habits die hard. That's really all there ever was to it. I don't think either one of us ever had any real emotional attachment, at least not past friendship," I explained waiting for him to take his shot.

After sinking a couple shots, Kozik continued the conversation.

"So, I won't have to worry about any kind of conflict when they get here next week," Herman thought out loud.

"I highly doubt that. Jax has always been completely in love with Tara. Even after she left, he never really got over her," I admitted thoughtfully.

"So, what about you," I pressed on, changing the topic from my romantic, or lack thereof, history.

"What do you mean," he asked with a hint of confusion.

"What about you and the red head," I asked, cringing inwardly when I remembered watching them all over each other just months ago.

"Sasha," he told me flatly.

"Why do you say her name like that," I asked as I made another shot.

"I wasn't really fond of Sasha. She was just…convenient. I told her to split," Kozik informed me, taking me by surprise.

"Why would you do that," I became confused.

"She wasn't the one I wanted," Herman admitted, now looking into my eyes.

He was standing close to me, staring into my eyes and what felt like into my soul.

"I have to admit something," I told him, my cheeks flushed from the embarrassment, his adoring stare, and the alcohol running through me.

"What's that," he asked, still not taking his intense stare away from me.

"I was pretty jealous of her," I admitted with some shame.

"You were jealous of her," he questioned in disbelief.

"The two of you were pretty…cozy," I thought out loud. "So whenever Jax came around, I kind of…well, I initiated things. I suppose I was working out some…frustration…and trying to make you jealous," I admitted sheepishly.

He smiled that irresistible smile that I loved to see. The one that sent a chill down my spine and made my heart leap.

"I envied Jax at one point. He got to have what I wanted, or so I thought he did. I'm glad you're here with me tonight," Herman admitted.

We quickly finished up the game, prompting Kozik to suggest we head to our next destination. We got into the car and drove a short way when I noticed that it was starting to sprinkle.

"I have a question for you," I told him, waiting for his response.

"You can ask me anything," he told me honestly.

"How set are you on going…wherever," I asked, forming a plan in my mind as I awaited his answer.

"Nothing is set in stone. Why, do you have an idea," he questioned, glancing over at me.

"Can we go to my place. I want to show you something," I half asked, half suggested.

He looked over at me skeptically.

"Come on, Koz. How often does it rain and not be cold as hell at the same time? This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity," I told him with a devilish grin.

The drive was filled with flirting, nervous glances, and the pounding of my heart, which I was certain he could hear at this point. Before too long, we were pulling into my garage. I stepped out of the car, quickly leading him inside. By now it was pouring outside. He watched, confusion working it's way into his features as he watched me open the back door. I left it open, stepping out into the pouring rain.

"What are you doing," he asked, probably wondering if I was insane.

"Come out," I told him, holding my hands out for him to take.

He took off his shoes, leaving them next to mine. He came outside, obviously not as loving of the cool rain as I was.

"I promise, I'm not crazy," I told him with a smile. "I love the rain," I admitted.

He looked me over, noting my drenched state. Before I knew it, Herman took my hands in his. He pulled me closer, never once taking his eyes away from mine. And after staring into my eyes for what felt like an eternity, with my heart racing and my stomach jumping through hoops, Kozik kissed me gently. He slowly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him. I responded by deepening the kiss, feeling myself quickly losing control. I snaked my hands from around him and slid them against his abdomen and up his chest, feeling the buttons beneath my fingers. Hungrily, I gently scratched at his soaked chest. Slowly, I worked my way through the buttons, mentally praying that he wouldn't stop me. I could feel his strong hands running up my back. It took a moment for me to notice that he wasn't just running his hands down my shoulders, he was sliding the soaked dress down my now bare shoulders. I found myself even more eager than I thought possible, quickly disposing of the red button up shirt. I felt his bare, wet skin against mine. His hands were resting on my hips where the dress sat, waiting to be slid down my waist. I slid the dress down, allowing it to fall to the equally soaked ground.

"You're shivering," Herman commented, noting my cold state as he temporarily broke the passionate kiss.

I took his hand, watching as he admired my dripping body, which only remained covered by the pale blue bra and panty set. He followed, obviously knowing I had something in mind. I led him off to the side of the house, revealing the hidden hot tub. I turned back to face him, kissing him once more as I slowly unclasped his belt buckle. His hands wandered across my body, taking in every inch as I teased his waistline with my gentle touch.

A smile played across my lips as the sun cascaded down onto my face. I slowly pried my eyes open, remembering the previous evening. I stared across the bed, feeling the sheer joy spread across my face as I saw the proof I desired laying next to me.

I carefully climbed out of bed, throwing on his button up shirt from the previous night. It was still a little damp, sending me a mental reminder that I should invest in a new dryer soon.

Eggs, pancakes, and bacon. Each distinctive scent filled the house, waking Herman from his slumber. He appeared in the kitchen doorway in minutes, watching me with a surprised smile.

"Good morning," I said with a smile.

"Good morning," he responded, approaching me now as he added on, "I didn't expect breakfast."

"Oh, this is all for me," I answered in a joking manner, blushing insanely as he wrapped his strong arms around me from behind.

I turned and kissed him, turning off the burner behind me. His response was immediate, as if we had been this intimate for years. It was new, but comfortable.

He soon forced us to stop, allowing me to catch my breath.

"Maybe we should eat. If you don't practice some self-control, I won't be able to do the same for long. Then we'll end up back in that room," he warned with a smile, quickly grabbing some silverware and guiding me toward the table after I grabbed the plates with our steaming food.

I sat next to him before telling him out loud, "you know, I really wouldn't mind being holed up in a room with you all day."

"As…enticing as that sounds, I think your dad would come looking for you if neither of us show up for work," Kozik advised.

"Good point," I thought aloud, cringing at the idea of my father walking in while Herman and I continued our activities from the previous evening.

In a comfortable silence, we ate, eyeing each other thoughtfully and, at least on my part, lustfully at times. He broke the silence as he finished the last of his bacon.

"I like the way my shirt looks on you," he admitted with a smile.

"You're teasing me," I told him as I finished my eggs.

"I've been thinking…maybe we shower before heading in. Late, your dad can handle. I'm sure he expects it," Herman suggested as I took our now empty plates.

"What about clothes," I asked, admiring him in his boxers.

"I think it might be weird if you show up without them," he joked with a laugh. "I'd definitely enjoy it, but your dad…not so much."

I smiled at him before turning to clean the plates and silverware, "I may have a few t-shirts from work you can use, but I'll toss your other stuff in the washer and dryer."

The drive to the shop was silent. It wasn't an awkward or tension-filled silence. It was comfortable. It was the type of silence I imagined an elderly couple, having been together for decades, sharing. In it's own way, that was kind of strange. What did that even mean?

In minutes, we pulled into a parking space, momentarily stalling in the car before we found ourselves forced to rejoin the world. I smiled, almost shyly, turning to face him.

"I had a great time last night," I admitted, a hint of hope in my voice.

He smiled back at me, responding almost immediately, "Jenna, you're talking like this is all over. Trust me, I've only just begun with you."

He leaned over and kissed me softly before suggesting we head inside. Upon approaching the shop, Herman and I went our separate ways. He went and began working on a car one of locals brought in while I got settled in at my desk.

I spent the next few hours going through papers, updating logs, taking phone calls, paying bills, and making a list of what I'd need to grab from the store over the next few days. I got lost in everything, never once realizing how long had actually passed. I was drawn out of my concentrated state by a parcel, landing with a light thud, falling onto the center of my desk. I shook away the dazed stare and smiled when I noticed that it wasn't just any package. It was a deli sandwich, wrapped in the familiar brown paper that read "Tacoma Joe's Deli.' I felt my mouth water as I looked up to see my dad standing over me.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile. "Thanks, I'm starving."

"I figured. You haven't left this room all day. Is everything alright," he asked with genuine concern.

"Oh yeah, dad. Everything's great. I'm just taking some time to get caught up in here. And I'm making arrangements for next week," I admitted.

He nodded, showing understanding.

"Alright. Well, how about you call it a night, huh? It's already close to six. Besides, I think Herman's waiting for you," my dad admitted. "We're done at the table, so he's all yours."

"Oh, wow," I reacted, looking at the clock. "I didn't realize it was so late," I admitted.

"How about I sit here and eat with you? Then I'll go see what he's up to," I offered, noting it had been a while since I had eaten with my father.

A surprised expression appeared on Billy's face.

"You're choosing to eat with your boring old man as opposed to hanging out with your new boyfriend," he asked with a smile, taking a seat across from me.

"Oh dad, you'll always be my number one," I responded with a laugh and friendly grin.

"Jenn, you seem very…busy. Am I overloading you with work? The garage, bills, customer service, and now throwing together this dinner, or whatever it is, for Clay and his boys," dad questioned, worry furrowing his brow.

"Dad, I'm fine. I'm perfectly capable of juggling everything without issue. It keeps me busy and not bored. It keeps me grounded. Trust me, busy is good…it keeps me out of trouble," I reminded him.

"Is everything okay with you, dad? You don't seem yourself lately," I asked in return.

"Yeah. I'm just…tired," he warily admitted.

Before long, my father and I got caught up in old stories. Neither of us had noticed the time until the sound of the phone brought us out of our reminiscing. As I lifted the receiver, dad noted the time on the clock.

"Tacoma Motors," I greeted.

"Well, hello," a familiar voice greeted.

I smiled as I recognized the voice, "Jax, how are you."

"I'm alright. Did your dad tell you we'd be up next weekend," he asked conversationally.

"Yeah. So what's up? I didn't expect to hear your voice on the other end of the line," I admitted.

"I'm looking for your dad. I tried his cell, but no one answered," Jax admitted.

"Alright, well, he's right here. I'll see you next week," I told him before handing my dad the phone.

"Hey Jax. Give me a sec, alright," dad told him before returning his attention to me.

"I'll be out in a bit, Jenny. You should go hang out, we've been in here for over an hour now," he advised, watching to be sure I shut the door behind me.

Something didn't feel quite right. I was used to my dad talking club business in private. What I wasn't used to was him ensuring I couldn't overhear his conversation. Especially when that conversation involved Jax Teller.

I went to the bar and poured myself a shot of tequila and grabbed a cold Budweiser. I downed the shot and grabbed the beer, taking a sizable gulp.

"Everything alright," Herman questioned, sitting down at the bar.

"Yeah, I'm good. Hey, do you know what my dad's up to? He's in there talking to Jax," I told him, wondering if I was the only one in the dark.

"I didn't know he was up to anything," Kozik replied, never once taking his eyes off of me.

I caught him staring, forcing a smile on my face.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting," I told him, still smiling at him.

"You looked like you were having fun. Besides, I think your dad wanted to spend some time with you," Herman said as I handed him a fresh beer.

"I'm going to find out what he's up to," I said with promise in my voice.

"Is it really wise for us to get in your old man's business," Herman questioned.

"Us," I asked in return, sitting next to him.

"Yep. You're stuck with me," he told me with a smile.

"As much as I like the idea of being stuck with you, I'm doing this all on my own. If he's really hiding something, I don't know if it necessarily needs to become club business," I reminded him.

"Alright, Inspector Gadget. Just try not to get hurt. And if you get into any trouble, I'm only a phone call away," he offered, taking my hand in his.

"Are you trying to be my knight in shining armor," I teased.

"Hey, if that's what you need, I'm it," he told me seriously.

"As sweet as that is, Herman, I don't need saving," I told him without a trace of harshness.

"Well, if you do…I'm here…or there…wherever," he promised with a sweet kiss.


	4. 004 Patch Over

*** Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy! I only own my own OC's. ***

"You still playing detective," Kozik asked as he sat across from me at my desk.

"Eh, he hasn't really acted suspicious since the night he talked to Jax. I've been waiting for tonight to see if he acts any differently," I admitted, filing away a few paid bills.

I turned to find Herman standing inches from me. I blushed, smiling up at him.

"I know we have this thing tonight, but after we take care of club business, what do you say we head out? You've spent a lot of time up here, and I'm thinking that maybe you need a break," he suggested, resting his hands on my hips.

I lightly bit my lower lip, "that sounds pretty good. I'm expected to hang out some, so maybe we stay for the party for about an hour, then I'm all yours."

"I like the sound of that," he said with a smile, kissing me gently.

We found ourselves interrupted by the roar of several motorcycle engines. We both looked out the window to see Clay and the rest of the Redwood Sons pulling up.

"I have to go play hostess until my dad gets back, but I'll see you in a little bit," I promised, kissing him passionately until I heard the engines cut off.

I walked outside, a hint of pink still on my cheeks, and smiled upon seeing the familiar faces. As was customary, I gave Clay a friendly hug, greeting him first. I was never fond of Clay. There was something, I couldn't determine what, but something that made me not trust the man. Out of respect, I never said anything about it to my father.

"Hey, Clay. Dad will be here shortly, he had a doctor's appointment," I told him, gesturing for him to head inside. "Feel free to make yourselves comfortable."

"Doctor? Everything okay with your old man," Clay questioned, some concern etched in his voice.

"He said it was a check up, so I guess not unless they find something to worry about," I explained.

Clay nodded in understanding and headed inside with most of the guys following.

"Jenna Stone," Jax greeted with his typical charming smile, opening his arms up for a hug.

"Jackson Teller," I greeted in return, hugging him.

"Hey Chibs, Tig," I greeted as they lit up their cigarettes.

They both said their hellos before Jax, who I noticed hadn't taken his eyes off of me, spoke once again.

"So, you staying for the party tonight," he asked, with his underlying intentions obvious.

"You fighting with Wendy again," I teased.

"Wendy's in rehab…finally," Jax admitted.

"Oh man, Jax…I'm sorry, I didn't know," I told him, instantly feeling horrible.

"We've been done," he continued. "I'm just thankful her tendency to be a fuck up and a junkie hasn't killed my son," he admitted, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"You have any pictures," I asked, smiling at the thought of Jackson being a father.

"Yeah, I'll show you after the meeting," he promised.

"Be sure to catch me before I head out," I reminded him.

"So, why aren't you staying," he asked, never having known me to miss an opportunity to party.

"Well, it may completely shock you, but…I'm seeing someone. And, it just so happens, I spend entirely too much time up here. So, we're staying for a few drinks and laughs then heading out," I admitted with a thoughtful smile.

"Don't tell me you finally gave Lee a chance," he laughed.

"Not funny," I responded, hitting him in the arm. "I'm seeing Kozik, actually," I revealed, catching Tig's attention.

"Interesting," Jax commented, "well, congratulations on finally settling down."

"Woah, hold on. We haven't been seeing each other that long. It's not like it's marriage," I told him.

"For you to finally have a boyfriend, that's like settling down for you. You never date," Jax called me out.

I glanced over at Tig, who watched intently, occasionally glancing over at Herman, who was working on a car. I started to suggest he go and talk to Herman, but decided against it. I knew the two former best friends weren't speaking to each other. I wasn't sure why, but decided I would have to ask Herman about it another time.

When I noticed my dad pull up, I took that as my cue to head inside, "I'll catch up with you guys later. I've got a little paperwork to finish while you boys take care of business."

"Hey, wait," Jax called out, catching up to me. "Jenn, does he know about…"

Jax paused, almost awkwardly.

"Yes, he knows. I don't think it bothers him. I explained to Herman the…mechanics of our…relationship," I explained, almost as awkwardly as he looked.

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't messing things up for you or walking into a shit storm," he revealed, taking me by surprise.

"Jackson, you're my oldest friend…nothing is going to change that. Now get inside," I told him before disappearing into my office once more.

I spent the next forty five minutes finishing up some paper work and balancing the books. I found myself once again caught up in work. A knock on the door mentally pulled me away from the work at hand.

"Jenn," Herman greeted, bringing in two beers. "You should come hang out for a while. I know you're really into this organizing, number crunching work, but it's completely normal to stop and come see some of your friends," he teased.

I smiled at him, taking the beer he offered. I stood up and met him on the other side of the desk, "very funny."

"So, you talked to Tig earlier," he asked.

"Not exactly. I conversed with Jax. I said hi to Tig and Chibs, and they said hi back," I told him before quickly adding in a question of my own.

"What's the deal with the two of you anyway," I asked. "I thought you were really close."

"We were. Honestly, we haven't really spoken since just before I moved here. It's my fault. Tig just got divorced. His wife took the house until she could get a place back in her hometown. So Tig needed a place to stay. I had an extra room, so he became my room mate. Even after his wife and kids moved, Tig stayed. We had this dog we found wandering around the shop one afternoon. We took her in. Things were cool. Drinking, women, the club, etc. The dog lived up at the shop, but one night I forgot to put her inside. I can't remember why, but I was really distracted that day. Well, that night, she wandered around and," Herman paused, taking me by surprise.

"What happened," I asked, confused and feeling that the next words to come out of his mouth would sting.

"She got hit…by a car. Tig found her the next morning in the street in front of the shop," he told me solemnly. "Tig absolutely loves dogs. She may as well have been one of his girls."

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I shouldn't have asked."

"I know it sounds dumb, the two of us not speaking because of a dog," he started.

"It's not dumb. My dad and I used to have this Collie, Marie. She was a part of the family. You'd be surprised how many people treat a dog like their a part of their family. I literally got depressed after she died. We'd had her for like ten years, and I just woke up one day and she wasn't there anymore. I was sixteen. So if the two of you loving a dog is stupid, then so is a sixteen year old getting depressed over her dead dog," I told him, taking his hand.

"Hey, let's go socialize. I want to spend some time with you later, and not be all mopey when I do," I told him with a genuine smile.

I took Herman by the hand and smirked at him, teasingly biting my lower lip, as I led him out to the bar. I could feel at least one pair of eyes on us while Herman grabbed two beers. I grabbed my stashed bottle of tequila and motioned for Kozik to follow me. We sat at one of the tables, a table with Jax and Opie.

"Hey Ope," I greeted with a cheerful smile. "It's been so long since I've seen you. How's Donna," I asked.

"Eh, things are…complicated," Opie admitted.

"The club," I asked knowingly.

"Yeah," he admitted, downing most of his beer in one large gulp.

"Sorry to hear it," I told him, leaving for a moment to retrieve a few shot glasses. "I wish I could say it was more tame up here, but that's not the case."

"We'll work through it," he said with promise. "You gonna keep this Wild Child in line," Opie asked Herman with a smile.

I noticed the strange glance he shot toward Jax. I decided to waive it off and looked to see Herman's response.

"Wild suits me just fine," he answered, sending a smile in my direction. "Besides, I don't think Jenna can be tamed," he added with a laugh.

"I hear you're still in just as much trouble as ever," Jax inquired teasingly.

"I like how you both assume that this…trouble…is my fault. I happen to be involved by association…for once," I said before taking a shot.

I could feel Jax's eyes on me and for the first time ever, it made me nervous. I wasn't sure if it was because Herman was there or not. Maybe I was subconsciously worried about a brawl ensuing. Surely I wasn't giving these two enough credit…

"So when are you going to show me your little rider in training," I asked, hoping for some baby pictures.

Jackson smiled at the thought of his first born child and pulled a small envelope from his shirt pocket. He handed it over, allowing me to sort through the pictures. Seeing the beautiful innocence in the newborn put a smile on my face.

"He's perfect, Jax. Congratulations," I told him, carefully placing the pictures back inside the envelope.

I handed back the envelope, but he pushed it back toward me, "keep them. I brought copies for you."

Awkwardly, I took the envelope, hoping this wasn't too uncomfortable for Kozik. Maybe I was just over thinking things…

We all drank, smoked, caught up, and joked around. About an hour and a half later, I looked over at Herman, who made me smile when I noticed his adoring gaze. I slowly got up and sat in his lap, kissing him momentarily before downing the rest of my beer. I put the bottle down on the table before speaking.

"You want to head out," I asked, giving him a sexy smile.

"If that's what you want to do," he answered, returning the smile.

"Definitely. Since you guys are leaving tomorrow, I want to make sure you get a…proper goodbye," I told him with a wink.

"How'd you," he began, wondering how I knew they were leaving when he hadn't told me.

"You're all so predictable. You always act a certain way when you get together. Then you act another when you have to leave…especially for something dangerous," I informed him.

"I think you've spent too much time in this clubhouse," he observed in return.

"Probably," I admitted. "Let's go," I said with a smile.

I took his hand, looking into his eyes, and guided him out of the chair. I continued to guide him toward the door.

"You stay off that bike, Jenn," my dad called after me, embarrassingly drawing the attention of several people toward me.

"Yes, sir," I said through the embarrassment, heading out the door more quickly now.

Once outside, Kozik wore a bigger smile than before, almost laughing at the redness of my burning cheeks. Turning towards him, I slowly walked backwards, meeting his eyes once more. I guided him toward my car, smirking at him now.

"How long will you be gone," I asked, pulling him closer to me.

"A day, maybe two," he admitted. "Your dad and Lee agreed that one of the prospects are staying with you," he informed me.

"I don't care about the details," I told him, inches from his lips, my arms wrapped around his neck. "I just want you to be safe…come back to me."

"I will," he promised before kissing me as I finally found myself gently pressed against my car.

My hands found their way under his leathers, grasping his chest through his shirt. His hands rested comfortably on my hips as I pulled myself closer to him. It felt like an eternity…a perfect eternity…before I broke the kiss, softly kissing his neck.

"I'll meet you at my house," I told him before quickly abandoning him with a smile to get into my car.

His stunned silence was the perfect image as I got into the car, leaving him standing there sexually frustrated. Within minutes, I found myself at home, quickly heading inside to get out of the cold air. I figured he would probably have a cigarette before heading over, needing a moment to allow the blood to return to his brain. I took advantage of the delay and quickly undressed, rummaging through my cluttered closet for the small red bag I sought out. I found the bag and threw aside the brushed gold and white tissue paper, pulling out the royal blue baby doll set.

I finished pulling my clothes off, leaving them on the floor of the closet as I heard the front door open.

"Jenna," Kozik called out as I closed the closet door, heading for the bedroom door.

"I'm back here," I called, smiling at him as he looked me over. Lust, adoration, and hunger shot through him as I approached.

"So, this is what I get for leaving," he asked with a smile, hungrily pulling me in for a kiss.

I didn't answer until he freed my lips by turning his attention to my neck, once again seeking out that tender spot that he recently discovered could bring me to my knees.

"Wait until you see what you get when you get back," I told him, now guiding him toward the bed. Teasingly, I pushed him back on the bed, standing between his legs. His rough hands slowly slid up my legs before admiringly cupping my ass. I smirked as his eyes lustfully wandered over my body, removing his cut for him.

He toyed with the line of the royal blue thong as I slowly slid down onto the floor in front of him. My hands snaked their way up his legs, feeling the massive bulge in his pants. Eagerly, he pulled off his white t-shirt as I slowly unbuckled his belt, teasing him with my slow pace.

"Baby, you've got to quit teasing me," he all but begged.

I smiled guiltily up at him as I reached into his boxers and pulled out his hardened member. Using my right hand, I pulled his lips to mine momentarily before shoving him back on the bed and taking him in my mouth.

When I woke up the next morning, Herman was already in the shower. I got up and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I groggily stalked to the linen closet and grabbed a soft yellow towel before snatching my black bath robe. I almost ran into Kozik as he exited the bathroom, a black towel wrapped around his waist. We both stopped, smiling at one another and standing inches from each other.

"Good morning," he greeted, kissing me lightly.

"Trying to sneak out," I asked with a teasing laugh.

"Your dad called. We're heading out in an hour. I figured I would get my shower out of the way and go grab some breakfast for us while you got ready. Then you can come see us off. You know, I kind of feel bad for leaving," he admitted.

"Why do you feel bad," I asked, a small hint of concern. I had to wonder if he knew something I didn't know.

"You and the Prospects running the garage on your own," he said with a smile. "It's going to be hell for a couple days."

"Nah, I think we've got it. You have to remember, I'll be running the shop. They'll be fixing the cars and bikes. We'll be fine so long as I don't let them at the books…or the customers," I told him with a laugh.

After a shower and getting ready, I grabbed my bag and keys and drove up to the garage. The guys were all still there. When I stepped out of the car, I saw someone approaching. To my surprise, it wasn't Herman.

"Jax," I greeted, feeling a bit confused.

"Jenn," he said in return. "You have fun last night," he almost teased.

"What's this about, Jax," I asked, unsure of where he was going with things.

"Jenna, I really need to talk to you," he told me.

I felt like he was trying to captivate me with his eyes. I looked away.

"What's up," I asked, concerned about what was about to unfold.

"Jenny," I heard my dad yell.

A huge wave of relief swept over me when I saw my dad waving me over. Jax nodded for me to go on.

"I'll…talk to you later," Jackson decided before I took the opportunity to escape.

I went into the office and let out a small sigh of relief.

"What's up, dad," I asked with a hint of my grateful nature present.

"Just stay in here for a few. Clay and his boys are about to leave. They have to go back to Charming while Jax and Bobby go out to Nevada. We'll be leaving when Jax gives us a call," he explained.

"Why'd you," I started before he interrupted.

"I'm not going to give you all the info, Jenn, because it's in your best interest. But I overheard Jax last night. I've never seen you as happy as you are with Herman. I think I may have just preserved that happiness. Hell, I may have prevented an all out brawl," he told me.

"Dad…does Herman…know," I asked, still a little uncertain about what exactly was going on.

"I don't think so. But I do think that maybe it should stay that way," he advised.

I heard the roar of several engines come to life. I carefully peeked out the window. I noticed Jax staring in the direction of the window as he put his helmet on. Then he rode away.


	5. 005 Giving Back

*** Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy! I only own my own OC's. ***

The door to my office opened, pulling me out of my concentrated state. I became unnecessarily irritated. I reminded myself not to take it out on the poor prospect. He was only doing what he was told.

"Why don't you hang out for a bit, have a few drinks or whatever. I should be done here in about thirty," I suggested.

The brilliant light from my cell caught my attention, prompting me to instinctively pull up the newly received text message. I smiled when I saw the name of the sender.

"I bet you're still sitting at that desk with a stack of papers in your hand, feet bare, and a half-eaten box of Chinese food on your desk," Herman sent, putting a smile on my face.

I hit respond and typed back, "you know me too well."

I worked through a few more bills, being sure to file them away, before glancing at his response.

"Put away your work and go home babe," he told me.

"Going home doesn't sound like any more fun than work. Taking the prospect home doesn't seem as appealing as taking you home," I responded.

"I'll be home soon, Jenn, I promise," he assured me.

"I can't wait," I told him in return.

I finished up my paperwork before allowing myself to take a peek at my phone again. I couldn't keep James waiting all night for me. As I tossed a few items into my purse, I noticed the flash of my phone.

I smiled, waiting to see his next message. My smile faded when I didn't see his name pull up on the screen. Instead, my screen read "Jax".

"I wish you were here…this is a pretty sick patch over party."

My heart sank. I knew what happened at patch over parties. I felt a knot twisting in my stomach. I knew what the rules were : what happens on the road, stays on the road. I let out a small sigh of depression and grabbed my things, forgetting to remind myself to not slam the door.

"Everything alright," James asked, finishing off a beer.

"Yeah, sorry," I apologized for my internal outburst becoming external.

He stood up, grabbing a bottle of the Cuervo Silver from behind the counter, offering it to me.

I nodded a thank you, taking the bottle, "it's definitely looking to be one of those nights."

"You're ready to head out then," he asked uncertainly.

"Yeah. Oh, and you may want to grab a bottle of whatever for yourself if this doesn't work for you. I only have beer at the house," I suggested.

"Tequila and beer are fine," he responded, following me out the door.

I locked up behind us as he glanced around, almost in a paranoid fashion. I walked to my car as he went to his bike, and I went on auto pilot. I was so lost in my own thoughts, that I didn't realize I was inside until James broke the silence.

"Your dad said you have a guest room. Mind if I drop my bag off," he asked, surprising me with his courteousness.

"Oh, yeah, go ahead. It's the room down the hall to the left. I'm gonna go grab a couple beers and some shot glasses," I responded, dropping my purse onto the counter.

I grabbed two beers, setting them down on the counter. As I rifled through the cabinet, searching for a couple shot glasses, I saw the light on my phone go off again. I wasn't sure I wanted to see what the light would bring. I got the two glasses and put them down as well. I grabbed the phone, unable to keep my curiosity at bay. It was another message from Jax.

"You mad at me or something," he asked.

I hated this. Jackson was one of my best friends. I was happy with Herman. But right now I was very confused. Things with Jax and Wendy were over. I thought things with Herman and I were good. I wasn't sure about how they would be after this dumb patch over party. I couldn't just ignore Jax. We had known each other our entire lives. Despite what he felt, or what my father thought he felt, I couldn't be cruel to him. Even if it was true, surely Jax wouldn't have such poor timing.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I just got home, been busy. So, how's your party," I asked, trying to keep it friendly.

I put the phone into my back pocket, grabbing the beer and the shot glasses, and setting up at the coffee table in the living room while I sat in the plush chair across from the sofa. James joined me, sitting down on the sofa.

"You sure you're alright. You seem…well, pretty pissed," James observed, opening a beer before handing one to me.

"Yeah, I'll be alright. I just heard about the patch over party," I half admitted.

"Oh," James responded, unsure about why I would be upset about a patch over party.

I let out a small laugh, "a patch over party makes Mardi Gras look like Sunday service. Booze, smoke, and more ass than you could even dream of nailing."

"And why aren't we there," James questioned incredulously.

"It's club business. With the Mayans as a major threat in Nevada, it's safer for me to be here. At least until something's done about the bounty on my head. And you're stuck here to ensure that bounty isn't collected," I reminded him.

"That doesn't explain why you're angry and upset," he pointed out.

"I avoided the question, instead answering the previous message from Jackson.

"Have you found your piece of ass for the night," I asked, trying to remind him of his man whore tendencies.

"I know how relationships in the club work, Jenna. It bothers you, him possibly being with another woman," James asked, calling me out.

I glared at him, angry with myself for being so transparent.

"I don't' think you see how much Kozik actually cares about you," James revealed. "You really shouldn't worry."

A text message caught my attention once more, "you know me too well, Jenn. Though I do wish you were here instead."

I put the phone away, deciding I would ignore the world and drink and smoke until I passed out. The rest of the night was one long blur. I remembered talking with James. I remembered drinking…a lot. I remembered smoking a couple joints, as well as a few cigarettes.

I saw James come out of the kitchen carrying two cups of coffee.

"You're up," I questioned in surprise.

"I could say the same for you," he responded with a smile.

"I wish I wasn't," I admitted, digging through the bottomless pit that was my purse.

"Then go back to sleep. The shop's closed today," James offered, sliding the cup of coffee toward me.

"No, the guys get back today. I want to be there when my dad gets back," I told him, taking the pills with my coffee.

"So, if that's the case, we should probably get this awkward discussion out of the way now," James told me as he glanced down at his coffee cup.

"What are you talking about, James," I asked, leaning back and cradling the hot coffee in my hands.

"Last night…you…came onto me," James informed me.

My jaw dropped. He all but laughed in response.

"Are…are you joking," I asked, questioning his suddenly irresistible smile.

"You were pretty stoned," he admitted.

"We didn't," I began to ask.

"No. I'm not going to lie to you though," James started. "I wasn't completely sober either. We basically just had a pretty hot make out session. When you started trying to undo my pants, I think I realized what the hell was going on and knew it was something you would regret the next day. So I convinced you we needed to smoke another joint. Meanwhile, I turned on the television and you passed out not long after."

My head lay in my hands now, "I screwed up. No offense."

"None taken. Look, I…understand the predicament you're in. Obviously you aren't just screwing around with Kozik. If it's what you want, I'll keep my mouth shut," James offered.

"I can't lie to him," I told James.

"You can tell him whenever…just do me a favor…give me a heads up," James answered.

"I'm gonna go shower and get ready. Then you follow me up to the club," I asked.

"Yeah, sure thing," he answered, finishing his cup of coffee.

After a shower, I threw on a couple thinly strapped shirts, the standard holed jeans, and a pair of winter boots. I grabbed my favorite black, leather jacket and threw it on before grabbing my purse.

An hour later, I pulled into the parking lot of the shop with James close behind. Immediately after I got out of the car, I felt my phone vibrate. I ignored the signal and instead focused on the numerous motorcycles James was pulling up next to.

I took a deliberately deep breath before slowly heading inside.

"Jenn," I heard from the garage, prompting me to turn and see Herman tuning up his bike.

"Hey," I greeted with an almost nervous smile.

"You alright," he asked, concern in his voice.

"Um, yeah…it's just been…a long night," I responded lamely.

I could feel the heat from James' stare as he approached.

"Hey man," Herman greeted, approaching the Prospect.

"Have fun out there," James asked, partially conversationally.

"Not really. It was kind of a waste of time…and bullets," Herman admitted.

"I thought a Patch Over part was supposed to be bad ass," he asked with a bit of confusion.

"They are, I guess. They were, I guess I've just…grown out of them," Kozik answered as I stood there awkwardly.

"I figured," James said with that same irresistible smile he brought out earlier. He momentarily directed the "I told you so" grin at me before starting to head off.

Herman grabbed his arm for a moment, causing a bit of worry to spike up into my chest.

"Hey, thanks, man. I appreciate you making sure nothing happened to Jenna," Herman told him.

"No problem, man," he said before heading inside.

I could feel my stomach churn. The guilt would eat me alive. I would be dead in a week if I tried to put off telling Herman the truth. And to make matters worse, he seemed to be able to easily read me.

"What's wrong, babe," he asked, wiping his hands before coming over to me. "Are…are you about to cry?"

He pulled me against him, forcing the non-existent tears to suddenly appear.

"Can I talk to you," I asked, doing my best to hide the sadness in my voice.

"Of course," he told me, looking into my eyes.

"Not here…please," I almost begged.

"Do you want to go get some coffee or something," he asked, gesturing toward my car.

"Yeah, that'll work," I started, "but you drive."

Ten minutes later, we ordered some coffee from one of the local diners that had existed since before my father's childhood.

"Alright, Jenn, you're really starting to worry me," Kozik admitted.

"What…happened last night," I asked, hating myself more and more as each second trickled by.

"Jenna, are you asking what I did last night? Are…are you worried that I fucked some girl out in Nevada," he asked, a sudden bluntness I wasn't used to with him.

"I…I guess. I suppose, I need to know how you feel about these…club rules or whatever," I stumbled through my questioning statement.

"Jenn, those are rules for relationships who want those kind of issues. Baby…I don't want that. I only want you," he told me, taking my hand in his.

I let out a small sigh and looked away.

"Jenna Marie…what did you do," he asked, more concern than I had ever seen on his face before.

"You stopped texting last night. Jax decided to text me when the party was going on. I got bored and started texting back. He told me about the Patch Over party. And I kind of…assumed…that you would be…busy for the night," I began.

"Jenn, I…" he began before I interrupted.

"No, please let me keep going. I only have the courage to do this once. I felt broken when I imagined you with some piece of ass. I drank…a lot. I smoked…a lot. And when I woke up this morning, James informed me that…I came onto him," I explained.

"Ok, so you hit on him. You didn't sleep with him. You may not know this about yourself, but you're a pretty flirty woman. You tend to be more careful about it when I'm around, but that's just how you are," Herman told me, trying to ensure me I wasn't in the wrong.

"Herman, I kissed him. And…well, we were both pretty wasted," I began.

I could see several things flash across his eyes. He was in pain, he was angry, and before I knew it, he was getting to his feet. I quickly stood up and threw myself into his way, hoping he would be able to control the anger well enough to stop himself before he ran right through me.

"I didn't sleep with him," I almost yelled. I could feel all the eyes in the diner on us. I dropped a twenty on the table and grabbed his hand, taking him outside.

"We…made out a little. He said that he stopped things when it finally hit him that it was me he was kissing. After that, he convinced me to smoke another joint and put on the tv so I would pass out," I revealed.

Herman still hadn't looked at me yet. I could feel the tears of shame streaking down my face.

"Jenna, I'm not going to pretend like this isn't fucked up still. No, it's not as bad as it could be. But it's still pretty messed up. I spent the night talking about you. You know, you're really blind sometimes. I don't want some piece of ass. I want you…because…well, I love you," he told me, taking me by surprise. "I know this is really fast, but, be real…we've been dancing around for years now."

It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I couldn't breathe. I was about to lose the person I thought I couldn't bear to lose the most…over my stupid insecurities.

"Herman…" I began, trying to breathe still.

"I don't want you to say it because I did," he warned.

"I won't," I promised.

I carefully took his hand in mine again, worried he might still be angry and pull away. I slowly pressed myself against him, pulling his face toward me.

"I'm sorry. I'm stupid…and I let all these insecurities kind of…take over," I admitted. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you. But, I understand…if you don't want me right now."

Fifteen minutes later…

Herman carried me inside, locking my door behind us. Our lips remained pressed together as he carried me to the bed. He put me down on the bed, allowing me to get rid of the jacket, boots, and socks, while he removed his shoes, socks, and cut. I pulled my shirt off as I stood on my knees on the bed, meeting him as he stood at the end of the bed. I pulled him in for another kiss, soon kissing his neck.

"I love you," I told him before be slid his hands down to the back of my thighs and forced me to lay down.


	6. 006 AK51

*** Thank you for the review! Keep 'em coming! Compliments, concerns, criticisms…all welcome! I only own my own OC's ***

Wiping down the counter, I felt a pair of eyes on me. Knowingly, I glanced up to see Herman staring back at me. He smiled, forcing one to spread across my face. I lightly bit the inside of my lip and looked back down at the filthy counter. For some reason, I still couldn't believe he was in love with me. Long ago, I had made peace with my destiny. I figured I was meant to be alone.

Kozik, however, was proved to determine me wrong. Previously, he maintained a flirtatious nature with the pieces of ass that graced us with their presence. Now, however, he politely declined even their conversational company. It was as if he was determined to prove that he was made for me, and I for him.

"I see the two of you are coming along fine," my dad commented as he sat at the now all but sparkling bar.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," I admitted. "Anything to drink?"

"Well, since you're already back there, how about you just hand me a glass and that bottle of Jack," he responded.

"Hitting the heavy stuff tonight," I commented. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just looking for a little…relief," he phrased carefully.

"So, you think I'll get to see you all dressed up in one of those white, princess-looking gowns after all," dad pressed.

"Jumping the gun a bit, aren't we," I questioned.

"I just want a grandbaby before I die," he responded matter-of-factly.

"Dad, we both have plenty of time for you to have grandkids to chase around," I told him.

"You never know when it's your time, Jenn. Could be tomorrow," he stated, slightly philosophical.

"Hey," Herman greeted the both of us. "Am I interrupting, boss," he asked respectfully.

"No. Not at all. I was actually discussing the prospect of you as my son-in-law and some grandchildren," dad admitted.

My jaw dropped and an expression of embarrassment encased my features.

"Dad," I practically exclaimed.

"What? I'm old and senile. I've earned the right to say whatever I think," he told us.

Kozik merely stood there wearing a smile. I couldn't decipher the meaning of the smile, aside from possibly being entertained by my dad's remarks.

"Well, Billy…do you mind if we take off and discuss this future of wedding bells and rugrats," Herman questioned.

"No, you two go ahead. I'm going to have a few drinks and, uh, pass out in the back room," dad admitted.

I walked around the bar and gave my dad a quick hug and kiss before adding, "don't over do it, daddy. I worry about you."

"I'll be fine, Jenna. I promise," he assured me.

Moments later, I found myself outside with Herman. In an almost awkward silence, he walked me to my car. When we finally made it to the Lexus , I broke the tense silence.

"I'm sorry about my dad. He's just…well, I suppose…opinionated. And, he isn't afraid to voice it," I tried to explain.

"So, you aren't interested in marriage and a family," Herman half-teased and half-seriously questioned.

"I have a family," I responded, gesturing toward the clubhouse.

"You're dancing around the question," he observed with his charming smile, calling me out.

"Alright…the truth. Yes, one day I would like to get married. A beautiful dress…flowers…champagne. The whole nine yards. And yes, some day, I'd like to have a kid or two," I admitted in defeat.

I became somewhat self conscious as I told him these things. I couldn't believe that he couldn't see right through me.

Instead, he smiled arrogantly before speaking, "and one day I'll give you those things. But not because your dad wants it. This is about you and me…and when we're ready, we'll go down that path…together," Herman promised.

I smiled nervously.

"I'll meet you at your place in twenty," he questioned, staring down at me affectionately.

"Twenty," I asked curiously.

"I need to make a pit stop at the gas station," Herman informed me.

I smiled back at him, "alright. Twenty, then."

As I continued to lean against the car door, Herman leaned in and softly planted a kiss on my lips. I could feel my heart thumping at his touch. Momentarily, I intensified the kiss. It wasn't long, however, before he regrettably pulled away.

"We should go. If we keep this up, we may be spending the night in that tiny car of yours," he told me teasingly.

"I might like that," I admitted with a wink as I opened the car door.

"I love you, babe," he told me as he slowly backed toward his bike.

"I love you, too," I admitted, smiling as I got into the car.

I became lost in thought on my short journey to the house. I now knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I had actually been wrong all along. I wouldn't be damned to a life as an old spinster maid. I also had genuine concern about my future with the club. In my eyes, they were family. But would they see it the same when dad finally chose or had to step down? Would we both be cast off to the side without a second glance? However, I could somewhat picture my future now : a loving husband, beautiful children, and the only family I'd ever known.

Before I realized it, I found myself fumbling with the keys in the dark, trying to undo the stubborn lock.

A shocked gasp escaped as I felt the cold metal of a handgun pressed against my temple.

"What do you want," I asked, obviously vulnerable.

He wrapped his arm around my neck and drug me away from the door.

"Scream…and you're dead, bitch," the man warned.

In a swift moment, I found myself locked inside a musty trunk. Angry and frustrated, I tried to yell and stubbornly kicked at the trunk door. Hot tears of frustration and genuine fear flooded across my face. It wouldn't be long before someone realized I was missing. Herman could very well know by now. But how the hell would anyone find me? And, if they did…would I still be alive?

I had no way of telling how long we had driven. And I certainly couldn't tell where. But I felt exhaustion consume me. Physically and mentally, I was drained. I couldn't cry anymore. It was as if my tear ducts were just as tired. The stuffy heat continued to take it's toll. When I could no longer fight, I felt the darkness wash over and consume me as well.

Ice cold water splashing over me wrenched me out of my pathetic, exhausted slumber. I writhed and urgently glanced around, only to find myself tied to a chair and gagged into near silence. I had absolutely no idea where I could be. All I could see was what appeared to be the inside of a warehouse.

Shivering and scared, I watched as the man with the bucket of water walked away. Just as I recognized the familiar leathers of a Mayan, he stopped and turned to face me.

He leaned against the thick, metal door, lighting a cigarette. A second man came into view. This was a man I had seen previously. He was the local Mayan President.

"I'm going to take this off," he began, referencing the gag. "If you scream, my boy back there will blow your pretty white girl brains all over the place," he warned.

"Nod if you understand," the man added in.

With obvious fear encompassing my gaze, I nodded. He removed the disgusting gag, allowing me to finally take in several deep breaths.

"I'm going to ask questions. Your job is to answer the questions. Do you understand," he questioned.

"Yes," I meekly answered, making eye contact.

"Do you know why you're here," Mr. President asked.

"Something to do with my dad's MC," I answered vaguely.

"Your old man killed my son," he yelled, making me jump.

"Did you know that," he pressed, with a glimmer of hatred in his glare.

"No. I'm not exactly privy to club business. I may as well be an old lady," I admitted, feeling a few hot tears streak down my cheeks.

I was angry at myself for crying. I had always been viewed as strong, and here I was crying in the face of the enemy.

Angrily, he responded, "I find it hard to believe that the President's little girl is just some old lady. I have a very good feeling, actually, that your…disappearance will bring out exactly the response I want."

"Killing me isn't going to make things better. It's only going to accomplish something you can't handle…the start of a war," I told him hatefully before adding my own personal touch to the insult. "Besides, why don't you go make more sons…isn't that what you people do? Or are you one of those pricks who can only create a line of women," I idiotically jabbed.

Taking me by surprise, while maintaining his calm, confident smirk, he reared back and slapped me across the face.

"Ah," I exclaimed, working my jaw to sooth away the zest of the sting.

"You open that mouth pretty good," he perversely commented.

Spitefully, I spit in his face. His response threw me off. He smiled and wiped away the saliva. A worried expression became apparent on my face when his smile took on a more sinister expression.

"You know, it may surprise you, but I prefer to woo a woman. I mean, the chase makes the catch that much better," he explained, standing before me now.

"I…I don't understand," I responded, refusing to believe what I knew was coming.

"I guess what I'm trying to tell you…blondie," he began, toying with my blonde locks momentarily before continuing. "I enjoy earning pussy. But my boy, Hector, back there…he prefers to _take_ it," he admitted almost theatrically.

I began to tremble as he headed toward the door laughing.

"Now, you kids…don't have too much fun," he commented as he headed toward the door.

The man known as Hector lustfully looked me over as he approached. I could feel the panic and nausea levels rise as he hungrily licked his lips. Once again, I felt a wave of shame as I frightfully began crying.

"Please," I begged.

The door to the clubhouse burst open. The shattering sound of the door slamming against the wall pulled everyone's attention to Kozik. His urgent and pained expression caused immediate concern.

"Jenna's gone," he regrettably told Billy.

In a half-drunken stupor, Billy practically sobered up at the announcement.

"What do you mean, she's gone," Billy defensively questioned.

"She was meeting me at her place. I stopped to get some cigarettes. When I got to her house, the door was still locked, her keys were on the porch, and she was no where to be found," Kozik explained, obviously already blaming himself.

Angry and worried, Billy shoved Herman, adding, "you should have never let her out of your sight!"

"I'm sorry, Bill. I swear, I'll do whatever it takes to get her back," Herman promised guiltily.

"Kozik, Lee, Lorca, Chester…check out the Mayan warehouse off the highway. James and Marcus, wait at Jenna's place…just in case she turns up. Bowie, Donut, Jess…I want you keeping an eye on Mayan movement over at that damned bar they hang out at," Billy began directing traffic.

"I'll wait here in case they call or she shows up. If you spot her, or think you do, you call me. Do NOT take action without my say-so," he added firmly.

Everyone began moving, heading toward the respective destinations. Herman momentarily lagged behind.

"We're going to get her back, Bill," Herman assured the man who was in obvious pain.

"I know we will. I'm just…worried about how badly this is going to affect her. Kozik…it's…likely that they're going to hurt her," Billy admitted.

"I'm so sorry, Bill. This is all my fault. I should have known better than to let her go off on her own," Herman quietly responded, his response laced with shame.

"No," Billy began firmly. "This is my fault, and my fault alone. I should have taken care of this from the beginning. I'm finishing this. Now you go save our girl," Billy instructed.

With that, Herman headed toward the black van, determined to get Jenn back before she could be harmed.

Bloody…sore…bruised…and beaten. I laid curled up on lumpy cot in the hot, musty warehouse. I couldn't wipe the evening's events from my mind. The thought of that sweaty lackey forcing himself on me made her stomach churn. How could Herman ever want me again? As far as I was concerned, the Mayans had taken Herman away from me. I refused to let the bastards know how much they had actually damaged me.

The man I mentally nicknamed "King Prick," the President, walked into the room. Carrying a cup of water and maintaining a stern expression, he sat on a wooden crate, which had been set up about a foot away from the cot.

"You're stubborn, like your old man," he began. "Proud, too. You didn't fight him. It kind of pissed him off, actually," King Prick admitted, with a hint of a laugh.

"Am I supposed to feel guilty because the rapist didn't enjoy himself," I questioned numbly.

"Look, I'm going to shoot straight with you, mama," he admitted, taking me by surprise.

"I have a temper. Typically, I wouldn't have been okay with my cousin putting his hands…or anything else on you. You spit in my face. That's just disrespectful. I can tell you exactly how all of this will play out. Then we'll go from there," he revealed.

"I knew about your son," I admitted, not making eye contact.

"What exactly do you think you know about this…situation," he questioned, his jaw clenching momentarily.

"I, um…I know that my dad…killed him. And I believe that's why I'm here. Revenge…against my father…his child for yours," I said in an almost drone-like state.

"About half right," he agreed and disagreed.

"I don't kill women. Especially ones as…appealing…as you," he revealed, looking me over.

I felt even more uncomfortable than I had previously.

"Then why am I here," I asked as I noticed what seemed to be a sudden dryness in my throat.

He pulled out a burner phone and put it on display on a nearby crate. I glanced over at it before finally making eye contact with the man I thought was planning to end my life.

"You're going to make a call," he began as my expression finally morphed into full fear mode.

Billy sealed the final envelope. Four neatly labeled envelopes lay across the desk. Billy eyed the last shot of whiskey, which sat in the specially designed Reaper, Texas-sized shooter glass.

Almost as if contemplating whether to take the last bit, he stared at the glass. He swallowed what seemed to be a glass of courage, which may well be what he thought he was doing. In one swift gulp, he downed the thick liquid, savoring the warmth traveling down his esophagus.

"Here we go," Bill solemnly declared as the phone resting directly in front of him began to light up and vibrate.

"Hello," Bill answered, doing his best to maintain his composure.

"Hey," Lee broke the silence, getting Kozik's attention.

"There's nothing going on here, man," Herman complained. "We can't just sit around…doing nothing," Herman exclaimed in frustration.

"Kozik, I…I know this can't be easy, man. But we have to wait. One wrong move…well, it can be…very bad. Bill has to have his reasons," Lee attempted to convince Herman.

"I know, man. I just…I hate being forced to sit here while…God knows what is happening to Jenna," Kozik admitted, allowing his forehead to fall against the glass window.

After another quarter of an hour, the silence was soon broken by the shrill ring of a cell phone. All eyes were on Lee as he pulled out the prepaid and flipped it open.

He listened in silence, obviously receiving instructions.

"Are we meeting back at the clubhouse," Lee questioned with obvious confusion.

"Alright. Later, Bill," he finished prior to flipping the phone shut.

Lee sat there in a confused silence for a moment. Everyone watched him with anticipation.

"What the fuck's going on," Herman demanded, ignoring his continuously burning cigarette.

"Just you," Lee began. "You need to get out and walk behind the warehouse," he paused. "Once you reach the back door, you wait. He said you'd figure out what to do."

Cautiously, Herman stepped out of the vehicle and crushed his cigarette into the gravel. He slowly walked around the warehouse, unsuccessfully trying to silence the continuously crunching gravel. Kozik tried to listen for footsteps that weren't his own.

He continued on as he heard nothing. After what felt like an eternity, he finally made it to the back door. Feeling completely paranoid, his eyes darted around to each shadow and every door.

Herman heard a shuffling noise, prompting him to pull his gun. Momentarily, he listened for the source of the noise. A light moan made his heart thump and jump into his throat. He swung the door open and found what appeared to be a heap of something on the floor.

Instantly, he knew it was Jenna. He rushed over quickly and scooped her up. A pain-filled moan immediately made him regret his swift movements. Herman lovingly apologized and somehow managed to keep his guard up. He quickly moved toward the van, continuously glancing around. With the gun now unavailable, resting in the waist of his jeans, defense against any enemy would be difficult.

Kozik slipped out of the dark, metallic-scented warehouse. He continued to glance around as he quickly made a bee-line for the waiting SUV. The guys obviously saw him approaching, opening the door and repositioning themselves in terms of seating.

Herman managed to climb in while still holding Jenna. He had no intentions of letting her go, until they were well out of Mayan territory at least.

"Come on, she needs to go to a hospital," Lorca suggested.

Herman quickly, but carefully, removed his cut. He tried very hard not to jostle Jenna more than necessary. Just as meticulously, Kozik removed his black zip-up hoodie. He did his best to wrap Jenna up, having just noticed that he had found her in her underwear. She finally stirred again.

"No. No hospital…clubhouse…James," she meekly demanded.

She nestled herself against Herman's chest, still clinging to him.

"Call James," Chester told Lorca. "Get him to the clubhouse. Have him call everyone in."

Herman wore a confused and vaguely pained expression. Why would Jenna be asking for James?

"James was a med in the army," Chester explained.

"Right," Kozik responded, hoping that was the only reason Jenn was asking for him. Had she lost faith in him to protect her?


	7. 007 Old Bones

*** I only own my own OC's ***

By the time they made it to the clubhouse, as far as Kozik could tell, Jenna had somehow managed to fall asleep. He carried her inside while the others followed.

Herman laid her in what was once her room. Respectfully, most of the guys waited out in the dining and living rooms. James followed the couple into the bedroom. He carried a small bag that Jenn usually kept behind the bar.

Once Herman got a decent look at Jenna, he began to wonder if she had passed out from exhaustion or from pain. Hell, maybe it was both. It only took a moment to notice she was covered in bruises, several welt marks, and blood. Seeing her in this condition made his blood boil.

Nervously, James interrupted Herman's angry thoughts, "um…you'll have to uncover her."

He must have expected anger or resistance, because his expression was that of a worried man. To his surprise, however, Herman pulled away the coverings. The sight of Jenna's beaten body forced James to wince.

"Do what needs to be done," Herman said quietly.

His words sounded almost like he was halfway begging and halfway ordering. James nodded in understanding and sat on the edge of the bed while Kozik made himself comfortable in the nearby chair, lighting a cigarette.

His first task was to locate the source of the blood. She wasn't completely covered in a mass of blood, but he wanted to ensure he closed up any open wounds.

After a short search, he located the source of the blood flow. Somehow Jenna had managed to walk away with a small and manageable gash on the upper right side of her skull. It wasn't horrible, but it would still need to be closed up.

"I'm going to need a few things. And you'll have to make a decision," James told Herman.

Before James could continue or Kozik could respond, Lee interrupted. He stood anxiously in the door way with what looked to be a letter in his left hand. The expression he wore was solemn.

"Um, I'm sorry to interrupt, man. Koz…I need you out here. I promise, man, I'll try not to keep you for long. This is pretty important," Lee began. "Sorry…not that this isn't," he added gesturing toward the unconscious Jenna.

"Alright. I'll be there in a few. Send Lorca in to help James," Kozik agreed, returning his attention to James.

Herman took a drag off of his cigarette before asking, "what's your question?"

"She's got a nice cut on her head. It's not too serious, but it'll need to be closed up. I can stitch it, but I highly doubt she'll sleep through it and I don't have anything to make sure she's out. I can glue it though. Does that work," James asked.

"Yeah, that's fine. Just as long as it gets the job done," Herman answered, getting to his feet. "Oh, and just as a tip for you…try not to fuck up her hair. She'll make you pay."

James nodded in understanding.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Kozik advised.

"We'll get her fixed up and cleaned up," James assured him.

"Thank you, man," Herman said appreciatively.

Lorca soon took Kozik's place watching over Jenn and playing assistant to James. Towels, warm water, hydrogen peroxide, bandages, and a hint of super glue later and Jenna appeared to be the young woman they had all come to know as their charter's "mama".

While smoking a cigarette, Lorca, who had known the blonde for several years, silently watched her sleep. She was, without a doubt, gorgeous. Lorca, however, had come to think of her as more of a sister figure. He couldn't understand how any man could abuse a woman. Just the thought of what could have been done to her pissed him off.

A terrified gasp pulled him from his pondering. His eyes jetted back to Jenn, who scrambled across the bed, backing herself against the headboard. She was shaking, frantically glancing around the room.

"Jenn, it's alright…you're home," Lorca assured the damsel, slowly rising to his feet.

"You want me to go get Kozik," Lorca offered, heading toward the door almost as quick as lightening.

"No," she declined firmly.

Lorca glanced back, confusion working it's way into his features.

"Um…I need to talk to…whoever…doctored me up first," Jenna explained.

A couple of minutes later, James entered the room.

"Everything alright," he questioned worriedly.

"I need to talk to you about something. I know this sounds crazy, but I have to talk to someone before I tell Herman about this," I requested.

"Jenn, I don't know how I feel about keeping secrets from Herman," James admitted.

"Close the door…please. It's either, I tell you and tell him when I feel more comfortable…or I tell no one. Please don't let this eat me alive," I all but begged.

Fifteen minutes later…

"Jenn, you should really go to a hospital for this," James attempted to convince.

I slowly shook my head and responded quietly, "I can't do that, James. They'll ask too many questions. If I go to the hospital, they'll likely get the police involved"

My broken expression is what made him cave. He let out a sigh of frustration and paced around the room in a panicked manner.

"I owe you, James. I mean, big time. Whatever you want," I assured him.

"No," James waved it off. "Just…just promise me you'll tell Kozik. And I mean tonight. I won't volunteer anything, but I'm not going to lie, Jenna," he promised. "There are a lot of psychological things that can go on with this. If you don't tell him, it's really going to screw with his head."

As James left the room, I crawled out of the bed. My legs felt weak. I knew that I needed food, but it would have to wait. I had more pressing matters. I stumbled across the room. I felt every cut. I felt every ache. I even felt every bruise. My muscles ached and my head pounded. I grabbed one of the fluffy black towels from the linen closet inside the bathroom. When I turned and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my appearance forced me to do a painful double take.

I cringed painfully when I saw myself. The guys tried to clean me up, but the kind of dirty I felt, they could never get rid of. I was forever tainted. How could Herman want me after this? And how could I be asking myself such a selfish question at a time like this?

I put my towel on the counter and turned the water on. Slowly and carefully, I pulled what was left of my clothes off. They fell to the floor and once I saw the steam, I slowly stepped into the hot waterfall. I flinched at the burn but allowed my body to become acclimated to the temperature.

After what felt like an eternity under the steaming water, I finally incorporated the soap. I scrubbed and rinsed, desperate to cleanse myself of this entire experience. Once I finally ran out of soap, I sat, curled up, under the running water. I wanted to cry. I needed to. But I couldn't. I had cried so much over the last several hours of my…experience. I was literally exhausted.

When I finally pulled myself out of my traumatic daze, I realized that I had used all of the hot water. I was freezing and shivering. Shaking, I turned the knob and shut the water off. Cold, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around myself.

I stepped out of the bathroom and felt my heart ache when I saw Herman. He was changing the sheets on the bed. I paused as he turned around and slowly stepped forward.

I avoided eye contact until he was standing directly in front of me. He started to reach for me, but stopped himself.

I finally looked into Kozik's eyes. Finally, the tears began to flow once again. I took one step forward and allowed him to wrap his arms around me.

Anxiously, James entered the room. He nervously nodded toward Kozik and approached me.

"Um, here," James told me, handing me a small brown paper sack.

"I'll just be outside…if you need anything," James added, quickly excusing himself.

"I know you just woke up, babe, but you should really get a little more rest. I can imagine you've been through a lot," Herman suggested.

"Do you have anything you have to do," I asked hopefully.

"No. I made it clear that I'm not leaving you…at least until you ask me to," Herman explained, sitting in the chair he previously occupied.

My face became slightly contorted with pain.

"What's wrong, baby," Herman questioned, noticing almost instantly.

"I was hoping you would lay with me for a while. But, um, if you don't want to…well, I understand if you can't right now," I explained in turn.

"Jenna, no…honestly, I wasn't sure if you would feel safe and comfortable with me right now," Kozik admitted.

A single tear streamed down my bruised cheek as I answered.

"I need you right now. Without you, I'm not safe. And…I'm completely alone. Please…I need to know that you can still at least hold me," I admitted somberly.

Herman removed his leather cut and his shoes, pulling me against him as he laid back on the newly fluffed pillows.

"Baby, I understand that you may not be ready to talk about what happened just yet. But I'm here when you are…and I'm here if you're not. You are never alone," Kozik promised, kissing me on the forehead before holding me tighter.

My next question took Herman by surprise, "he's dead, isn't he?"

"Um," Herman anxiously stammered.

I cut him short, "it's okay…I know. I know, because it's my fault."

"Jenn, how can this possibly be your fault? Bill did what he had to so he could save your life," Herman countered, puzzled as to why I would blame myself.

"I'm um…I'm not exactly ready to go into details yet. But I think I should. I won't risk pushing you away. And I hate to push this on you, but you're literally all I have left," I began.

Herman stroked his fingers through me hair, quietly allowing me to continue my tale.

"I'm not going into a lot of detail. I honestly don't think I may ever be able to do that. But I want you to know as much as I can tell while I still have the guts to tell you," I continued, almost as if I was trapped in a horrified daze.

"I thought I would never see you again. I was completely convinced that asshole was going to kill me. I thought his revenge would be to take my life, how my dad took his son's. A child for a child. I was wrong. He wanted me to convince…no. He wanted me to beg my dad to exchange himself for me. I wouldn't do it. I basically told him to fuck off and spit in his dirty face. He got mad. Honestly, I was being stubborn and stupid. He was so mad, because I disrespected him. I thought for sure he was going to kill me. I didn't let him know I was scared. But when he revealed what my punishment actually was, I couldn't hide it anymore. I felt ashamed that the first thought that rushed into my mind was that because of those pigs, you would never want me again."

"Jenna, despite what you think, I will always want you. There is nothing that can change that," Kozik tried to assure me.

"Herman…some…man, if you can consider him that. He…well…he…raped me," I finally admitted with shame present in my voice.

I could feel Herman tense up. He was obviously working very hard to control his hate-filled temper.

"Are you alright," he was finally able to ask.

"I'm okay. And…I don't want you to feel obligated to stay with me. I completely understand," I started to respond before Herman angrily interrupted.

"Jenn, this doesn't change anything with us. I'm here because I want to be. And just like you said you needed me…I need you. I will never turn you away, regardless of what has or will happen to you or myself," he told her before finishing up his point. "You're just going to have to accept that and get used to the fact that you're stuck with me."

A wave of relief washed over me as Herman began to lovingly stroke my locks once more, signaling for me to continue.

"Apparently, I pissed off the rapist. I refused to give in to his fetish…I refused to struggle. I just laid there…and cried. And I prayed. The President came back. He actually apologized. He said he doesn't typically believe in hurting a woman, or so he said. But as long as I did what I was told and didn't disrespect him again, I wouldn't be harmed."

"He wanted me to call dad and beg. Again, I refused. That was when they started beating the hell out of me. I took punches…kicks…they beat me with a fucking belt. After what felt like an eternity, I couldn't take anymore. I begged. I called my dad and begged him to get me out. My dad agreed to trade me places. My dad agreed, so long as he could watch you pick me up. And he didn't want to see me…not in the condition I was in. He traded himself for me because I begged him to," I numbly explained.

Herman and I laid there in silence. He absorbed the facts while I desperately tried to repress them. Herman finally broke the quiet spell.

"Jenna, your dad left something for you," Herman revealed uneasily.

It was as if I stopped breathing, "left something?"

"Yeah. I, um…I think it's a letter. Lee got one too. So did I," Kozik admitted, seeming more anxious than ever now.

"What did it say," I questioned.

"I dunno. I haven't read it. I wanted to wait for you," Kozik revealed, now propping himself up on one elbow and waiting for my reaction.

Practically trembling, I rolled onto my back and met his eyes. He still looked at me as if I were his entire world. A part of me, the very insecure part, wondered if he would still look at me like that in a couple of hours. What about in a couple of days? It was at that moment that I knew if I had ever lost him, it would be the end of myself.

"Where are they," I asked, breaking the strange silence.

"On the dresser," he told me.

"I, um…I'm going to the bathroom. I'd like for us to read them when I get out. That is, if you don't mind," I admitted, painfully pulling myself back out of the bed.

"Jenn, are you sure you want to do this right now…today?"

"Herman," I began, "I'm sure this sounds…well, insane."

He stood with me now.

"This entire…situation…I need it to be like ripping off a bandaid. I desperately need all of this angst and grieving to be worked through. Spreading it out over time…it will only make things worse for me. What's the point in healing if something else is just going to knock me back down the following day," I thought out loud.

"Alright," Herman agreed. "We'll do this your way, babe."

"I'll be right back," I promised.

I grabbed the small sack from the nightstand and averted Herman's curious gaze. He moved as if he were going to question what was in the bag, but seemed to think better of it. I felt horrible hiding things from Herman. But I couldn't, and wouldn't, tell him until I was certain of all the facts. I would not risk hurting him anymore than I had to.

I disappeared into the bathroom and stored the small sack in the drug cabinet. Once I finished in the bathroom, I returned to the bedroom.

"So when are you going to clue me in," Kozik finally asked.

I released an exhausted sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be pressuring you," Kozik apologized.

"No…don't be. This thing that I'm dealing with does affect you," I began, joining him back on the bed.

"Baby, really, this can wait. There is so much going on right now. You don't need anymore stress," he tried to convince me.

"No…the band aid, remember," I reminded him.

"I told you what happened to me. I'm afraid of the…potential consequences. I, um, I had James pick up a pregnancy test. And once I don't look so…horrible…I'm going to get tested," I revealed, looking more ashamed than ever.

"Would you mind…if I went with you," Herman asked, taking me by surprise.

"Wh-" I began, before he interrupted.

"I want to support you through everything,"

"It's pretty late, babe. We should read these and get some rest," Herman suggested.

He handed me my envelope and the two of us began to unseal our respective envelopes. The suddenly somber couple, we read our letters and momentarily sat in silence. Exhausted and thoroughly depressed, I broke the silence this time.

"Did you know," I questioned Kozik, the sad tone dominant.

"No. This is the first I've ever heard of it. I get it though. He wanted to go out strong, not sick and suffering," Herman responded.

"Are you okay," he added in.

"Yeah. It's just…well, there are a lot of things that make sense now. Him disappearing all the time. The increase in drinking and smoking. Then the whole pressure to get married and give him grandkids talk," I thought out loud.

"Speaking of smoking, are you interested in partaking? I, personally, will need some help getting to sleep tonight. I can only imagine that you may need the same," Herman offered, grabbing a neatly rolled joint from the nightstand.

Kozik handed me the joint and a lighter. While I lit the joint, Herman pulled off his socks, shirt, and pants. He was obviously ready to pass out. I watched him, admiring the man I loved. I suddenly realized that I had no idea when the last time he slept was.

I passed him the joint, slowly exhaling as I gently sat beside him.

"When was the last time you slept," I questioned with concern.

"Um," he thought, momentarily pausing to take a hit. "Well, we got you back 24 hours after they nabbed you, so about 48 hours ago," Kozik admitted.

"Oh, baby…you need to get some rest," I gently ordered. "Come here," I instructed, motioning for him to sit in front of me.

"If anyone should be doing that, it's me," Herman told me, passing the joint back.

"Hey, you took care of me. You got me back. And after…all of that…you're still willing to keep taking care of me…and keep me around. You have to let me take care of you too. Now, come on," I gestured again, returning the joint.

Even though it felt like admitting defeat to him, he complied, sitting in front of me as I carefully positioned myself behind him on my knees. We passed the joint between the two of us as I diligently massaged Herman's shoulders, ignoring any pain I felt as I did so. I did her very best to ease any tension and untie any knots. I felt him begin to relax.

When I was certain he would soon pass out, I moved back to her spot on the bed.

"Come on, baby. Come lay down and hold me. You need to get some sleep," I told Kozik.

Drowsily, he laid back and instinctively wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you, baby," he told me before finally passing out.

"I love you, too," I returned, finally feeling safe now that I was once again in his arms.


	8. 008 The Pull

*** I only own my own OC's. ***

The next morning I woke up early. I was still very sore. I achingly stumbled my way into the shower, getting myself as prepared for the day as I could manage. A knock on the door let me know it was finally time to get out of the shower.

"Baby, I brought you some clothes," Herman told me through the cheap, thin door.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. When I noticed the bruising, I suddenly felt very insecure in my towel. I opened the door about halfway. I could tell that his eyes fell across my visible bruises. His expression of pity made my falsely confident demeanor falter.

"I, um, tried to get something that you could wear all the time…try to keep the police from becoming suspicious," Herman admitted, handing me the bag.

"Thanks," I began before the word 'police' registered.

"Police," I questioned, careful not to glance in the mirror at my bruised image again.

"We're estimating that they could come by as early as today. Are you going to be able to handle it if they do," Herman questioned with concern.

"Yeah," I attempted to reassure him. "I'm quick enough on the fly to get through this."

"That's not what I meant," he responded more seriously.

"Oh," I responded, dumbfounded. "Yeah…I'm…alright."

"I'll let you get dressed. See you in a bit, babe," Herman told me, leaving me to dress.

A sigh filled with a mixture of relief regarding avoiding the inevitable conversation Kozik and I would have, anxiety and insecurity over my physical appearance, and an added measure of anxiety when I saw the outfit Herman had brought me.

Once I was dressed, I realized it was perfect for the situation at hand. It was conservative enough to cover most of my bruising. It was also just sexy enough not to arouse suspicion. The only give away would be my damaged face. Make up would help reduce the appearance, but it would still be noticeable.

When I had finally finished, I left the room and prepared to pretend like everything was business as usual. I grabbed a broom and lit a cigarette.

Most of the guys were either out on club business or in the garage. I was surprised not to find Herman waiting. James and Lorca had apparently been put in charge of me for the day. James was receiving a shipment of liquor while Lorca smoked a cigarette at one of the tables.

Once my own cigarette had been lit, I began sweeping. It was something to do…something to feel normal again. Before I could complete the small hallway, Lorca appeared beside me. He grabbed for the broom, silently suggesting that he sweep instead. Gently, I pulled the broom away before quietly addressing him.

"I'll do it. Seriously, I'm fine. I need to keep busy anyway," I told him.

"Alright," he reluctantly agreed before adding, "just take it a little easy today.

Once the delivery guy had left, James took his turn to approach.

"You feeling alright," he questioned, subconsciously looking me over.

I couldn't tell if his observation was for my health or his viewing pleasure. Honestly, I didn't mind either. I was trying to convince myself that Herman would continue to want me, even with my damaged and bruised body. I still had a difficult time believing it though. How could James even look at me that way?

"Yeah, I'm good. Thank you, by the way…for everything," I told him in response.

"What are you planning to say when they ask about the bruising on your face," he questioned skeptically.

I smiled cunningly, "you let me worry about that."

Before the conversation could progress any further, we were interrupted by an unfamiliar scene that I would have to get used to. Lee came out of the room that housed the MC's table. He now wore his cut with a new patch…President.

"Jenna, I just heard over the scanner. They're on the way. Do you think you're ready for this," Lee addressed me.

"Yeah. I can do this. I'll just clean until they get here," I answered, continuing to sweep.

"Jenn, you really don't have to do that right now. The guys can take care of things until you're up to it," Lee offered. "The Prospect should be doing this anyway."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. I'm supposed to act like everything's normal, right? What better way than to go about my normal routine. Besides, you guys are shitty cleaners. And, James mops…he's just a shitty sweeper. I like my floor to be clean," I told him.

"Alright," he responded with a light laugh. "Seriously though, you need to take it easy. Maybe leave more cleaning to James and get your paper work done earlier," he suggested.

"James, you keep an eye on her," Lee said before heading out into the garage.

I continued to sweep and soon pulled out the mop and mop bucket. James could never get the soap and water ratio right, so I always filled the bucket for him to mop. I dragged the bucket out to the front door and to the nearby water hose. It was then that I realized that I had forgotten the soap. Once I made it to the door, someone opened it as I reached for the knob. I was shocked when I saw who was exiting.

"Hey," Jackson greeted, handing me a bottle of soap.

"Um, when did you get here," I inquired, returning to the empty mop bucket with Jax in tow.

"Last night. Lee called us almost right after you…got back," he answered, not sure how to deal with the topic in fear of upsetting his long time friend. "How are you," Jax added.

"Really starting to wish people would quit asking me that," I almost rudely responded.

I immediately regretted my lack of tact.

"I'm sorry," I started, putting the cap back on the cleaning product bottle.

"No, I understand. I wasn't thinking. I should have known you'd be getting a lot of that," Jax admitted, offering his hand to take the cleaner.

I handed him the bottle and grabbed the hose before turning on the water. As the bucket continued to fill, I continued the conversation.

"I think it just bothers me because everyone thinks I'm some fragile little doll. It's like they think I'm going to break into a million pieces," I told him, shutting off the water.

"Jenny, you should know, none of them…none of us, I should say, think that. From what James said, you were breaten pretty badly. There's some mad respect for you," Jackson revealed, pulling the mop bucket inside for me.

"Hey, I'm sorry about your old man, by the way," Jax began, adding in, "he was a really good guy."

"Thanks. How's your kiddo doing," I questioned, hopefully changing the subject for good.

"He's doing better. He's still in the hospital though," Jax answered.

I noticed at the mention of his son, Jackson tended to smile more. He really loved that kid. I had seen pictures of the baby and he was downright adorable.

"What about your mom," I continued to question.

"She's good. She spends a lot of time with Abel," Jax admitted. "She actually asked about you the other day."

"Oh yeah, what about me," I inquired further, curious about the biker queen's intentions.

"She's been asking why I haven't convinced you to come back to Charming," Jax revealed awkwardly.

"I should get this place cleaned up," I quickly changed the uncomfortable subject.

James took over the mopping while I cleaned dishes. I was halfway through with the dishes when I noticed Lorca escorting in two officers. I knew why they were here, but I had to act like I didn't. As much as my mind wanted to reject the greeting, I opened with a smart-assed joke.

"A noise violation already…we haven't even started the party yet," I told the familiar officers.

"Actually, we need to have a word with you…in private," Officer Penn told me.

His expression was unusual. Penn typically wore a smile and always shared my likeness for sarcasm.

"UIm, sure. Is everything alright," I asked, altering my expression to show concern and confusion.

"Where is a good place for privacy," the second officer asked.

I didn't know much about the female. She was newer. And she was likely brought along in case I would have to be put under arrest.

"My office. This way," I told her, leading the way. Once the door was visible, I turned back to James, who was now wiping down the counters.

"Go on in, I'll be right there," I told the officers.

"James, can you finish up the dishes. And not one of those half-assed jobs, either," I called over to him.

"I've got it, Jenn. Take your time," he assured me.

I entered the office and closed the door behind myself. I gestured toward the pair of empty chairs, suggesting they each take a seat.

"Can I get you some coffee, water, soda…" I asked as I sat across from them.

"No," they answered almost simultaneously, but with Penn adding in a, "thank you."

"So, how can I help you," I began the private conversation.

"Um, what happened," the woman asked, pointing at her own lovely face, but obviously inquiring about my bruised one.

"Oh…cat fight," I responded, forcing myself to blush lightly.

"Catfight," Penn asked, an almost perverse smirk on his face.

"Some skank thought she was gonna get away with pushing up on my man. When I confronted her and told her to leave, she got brave and hit me. By the time one of the guys got ballsy enough to throw her out, my face looked like a punching bag. Hers, however, looked like a bloody punching bag," I explained, displaying the arrogant smirk usually associated with the story of a victorious fight.

The female officer didn't look at all impressed. Penn, however, laughed it off.

"I'm sorry, I know Officer Penn, but I don't believe we've met," I told the woman, offering my hand.

She appeared skeptical at first, but extended her hand in turn.

"Officer Fitz," she introduced.

"Jenna," I said, shaking her hand.

"Jenn, look, we're here about your dad," Penn admitted.

"Dad? What did he do," I asked, appearing to jump to the typical conclusion.

"Jenna…when was the last time you saw your father," Fitz questioned, with a pen and notepad ready for any necessary note taking.

"Um," I began, pretending to recall a memory. "I believe it was Tuesday."

I paused for a moment, "Look, you're really freaking me out. What's going on?"

"Jenn, I'm sorry, but…we, um…we found your father this morning," Penn revealed.

Cautiously, I proceeded with another question, "what do you mean when you say found, Jake?"

He couldn't answer. I felt a little bad for dragging Jacob along like this. But it was for the greater good. Or at least I convinced myself it was.

This time Officer Fitz answered.

Previously she appeared cold and hard, obviously letting me know the feminine factor wasn't going to be able to come into play. Now, when she answered my question, she looked more sympathetic.

"I'm sorry, Jenn, but we found your father in a ditch off the Interstate," Fitz answered.

She continued watching me.

Not even I expected my reaction. I had known this was coming. I knew it was a fact for at least twenty four hours. But knowing any little detail made it a reality. I felt the blood leave my face. My ducts swelled with tears. My jaw quivered.

"I'm sorry, Jenn," Jacob apologized with sincerity.

"Jenna, I'm very sorry for your loss. And I know this can't be easy for you, but we do still have some questions. Are you going to be able to assist us," she asked, maintaining her business-like composure.

I nodded as tears of mourning streaked down my face.

"Jenna, it's my understanding that you and your father were very close. Is it not unusual for you to not see your father for that long," she questioned.

I took a moment before answering, knowing my voice would crack. I had already come up with a half-true answer.

"My dad recently told me that, um…he…I guess had cancer," I began, accenting the word 'had'. "He told me treatment would do no good. It started in his liver…and from there it spread. I was, um, pretty upset with him. Apparently, he was diagnosed almost a year ago. He kept it me from until a few days ago. He wanted to get away for a couple of days," I explained, resting my head against my left hand.

"I told him I didn't want him riding alone. I even offered to drive him. I was worried something would happen to him in his condition on that bike," I told them, appearing to zone out.

Both officers exchanged confused expressions.

"Jenna…you think Bill was in a motorcycle accident," Penn questioned.

I pulled myself out of the daze and met his eyes, "what do you mean, Jake? He…wasn't?"

"Jenna, I 'm really sorry to tell you this, but Billy was found with multiple gunshot wounds," Fitz revealed, appearing to feel even more sympathetic.

"You mean…he was…murdered," I asked, a shocked and confused glaze across my beaten face.

"That's why we have to find out if you can give us any information that could help us in our investigation," Jacob admitted.

"Um…what do you need to know," I asked numbly.

"Where was Billy going," Fitz asked.

"Hang on a second, Kate. Jenn, do you need some water or something before we continue," Jacob asked, getting to his feet.

"Um, yeah, water's good. James will get it for you…and anything either of you may need. I'm sorry…I'm not exactly in hostess mode right now," I responded, reaching into my desk drawer.

While Jake fetched the water, I pulled out a pack of cigarettes. With my hands shaking, I retrieved a single cigarette. I placed it between my lips and picked up the green BIC.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, remembering the woman known as Kate. "Do you mind if I," I questioned, referencing my bad habit.

"Not at all. Go ahead," she answered, still observing me.

My hands continued to quiver as I lit the cigarette. Moments later, Jake returned with three bottles of water. He sat one in front of me, then one in front of Kate, and finally sat as the opened the third for himself.

We sat in silence for a moment while I finished my cigarette.

"You ready," Jacob asked as I meticulously put out the butt of my cigarette.

"As ready as I can be," I answered, opening the bottle of water.

"I'm sorry. What was your question," I addressed the woman.

"So you know where your father was heading," she asked for a second time.

"He said he was going to a cabin we own down in Oregon," I answered.

"You didn't find it suspicious that he never called during this time," she asked next.

"No. You don't always get cell service out there. And…since my mom died, that's always the place we've come to think of as a sort of…sanctuary," I told her.

"When was he supposed to come back," she continued as I drank some water.

"I'm not sure. He never said. The cabin has always been a place we go when we need when we need to get away. You go out there and escape, drink, whatever…until you're ready to come back to reality," I explained.

"Sounds nice," she commented, "unfortunately, not all of us have such luxuries."

Was she really being a bitch right now? I pretended not to notice. It felt lie she was trying to goad me into breaking character.

"Jenn, do you have any reason to believe anyone would want your father dead," Jake took over.

"Until now, no. Dad was a people person. Everyone loved him. Then again, I don't' know everything about my dad. I mean, the man did have cancer for almost a year before telling me," I admitted.

Officer Bitch's cell went off. She looked at the caller prior to answering.

"Officer Fitz," she responded.

Jake and I sat there in silence. I got up and opened the window, allowing fresh air in, prior to lighting a second cigarette.

"No…nothing really," Bitch Fitz answered her caller.

I offered Jake a cigarette, which he kindly refused.

"Alright, we're on our way," she finished before hanging up.

"We're done," Jake asked, obviously not expecting to be leaving so soon.

"Well, either the Princess is clueless, or she isn't giving anything up. Either way, we're wasting our time," Fitz hissed.

"Excuse me, but I've done nothing but cooperate here. I've answered all of your questions," I reminded her, obviously offended.

"Here's a question for you. Why do I feel like you don't want your father's killer to be caught? Can you answer that," Fitz shot, cat-like at me.

"Look, I don't know what kind of daddy issues you're dealing with, but don't bring that bitch cop bullshit around here. I just found out that my dad is gone…forever. If you're just here to add insult to injury, you can fucking leave," I told her.

I was surprised at how calm and cold I sounded. I was surprised that I was able to keep my fiery temperature in check. I could see Penn's stunned expression out of the corner of my eye.

"Speaking of daddy issues, Princess, how many of these biker boys are you fucking? Hell, what about Penn here, are you fucking him too?"

I had no idea why this bitch was suddenly verbally bashing me, but I refused to let her get the best of me.

"That's enough, Katie," Penn was finally able to chime in.

Fitz gave a satisfied smirk as she backed away from the desk.

"Go…" Penn practically ordered. "Go wait by the car. You need to cool off," he added.

Once Fitz left the office, Penn returned his attention to me. He could see I was visibly upset.

"Jenn, I'm sorry about that," Jake began.

I interrupted, "I don't understand. What the hell did I do for her to go Bitch Fitz on me?"

"Nothing. I'm really sorry, Jenna, for everything. You did fine. She's just…jealous," he informed me, taking me by surprise.

"Jealous," I asked, confused now more than ever.

"Um, Katie and I are…a thing. She got mad when I requested to come here. Some of the guys have been talking about you this morning. So she's pissed that I asked to come talk to the hot blonde," Jake revealed.

"What the fuck! You came to tell me that my father's dead! You need to get that bitch on a leash! Look, Penn, I appreciate you coming by, rather than sending some complete stranger, and you're welcome back anytime. But unless she has a warrant, she had better never step foot on any property I own again," I told him, angrily leaving him alone in the office.

"Everything alright, baby," Herman questioned when I joined him at the bar.

"No. Things are definitely not alright. My dad's…gone," I told him, worried Katie may still be in earshot, and knowing Jake was.

"I thought he went down to Oregon," Kozik played along.

"So did I. Apparently, he never made it," I told him, crying once more.

He embraced me, whispering, "I'm so sorry, baby."

Kozik nodded for James to head outside, leaving the couple alone for a few minutes before everyone would file back inside.


	9. 009 Hell Followed

*** Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy! I only own my own OC's. ***

I busied myself with work for the rest of the day. I ignored everything else, forcing James to answer the phone calls. A knock on the door finally pulled me out of my zone.

I looked up to see Jackson entering my office.

"You've been holed up in here for about eight or so hours. Everyone's out there taking a load off," Jax revealed, sitting in one of the chairs across from me.

"I don't know if I'm ready to come out yet," I admitted.

"Well, you're going to have to eventually," he reminded me.

"Today sucked," I commented.

"So, I have to admit, I came in here to talk to you before I leave. The Nomad's just got in and Happy's back from Cali, so we're leaving soon," Jax told me.

"Not that it's any of my business anyway, but why did you guys come up here," I asked, lighting a cigarette.

"Lee called me," Jackson revealed. "Your old man left something for me."

"What's that," I questioned with curiosity.

"A letter. You got one too, right," he asked in return.

"Yeah. What did yours say," I pressed.

"In a summary, he explained why he did what he did. And, um, he also listed a few final requests," he advised.

"Like," I questioned.

"Well, for one, he wanted to be buried back in Charming, next to your ma. Once they release the body, he'll be transported down. I've already called Gemma, she'll be making all of the arrangements. I, um, I hope that's alright. I figured with all that you've been through, it would help unload a little from your plate," Jax finished questioningly.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Honestly, I was kind of dreading having to do all of that. As horrible as that may sound, I'm too exhausted for any kind of planning," I admitted. "Can you thank her for me? And tell her to give me a call if she needs anything," I reminded him.

"He also made a reference for me to keep the promise I made him on my last visit," Teller revealed, something that was complete news to me.

"Promise," I requested, unknowingly.

"Last time I was here, your dad made me promise that if anything ever happened to him, regardless of your standing with the club, that I would ensure you were taken care of…if you ever needed it. And that you would have the protection of SAMCRO no matter what," Jax told me, revealing at least some of what was said during their secret meeting.

"So, can I ask you something," he requested in return.

"What's up," I answered, hoping the topic wasn't too intense.

"Are you avoiding everyone…or just Kozik," he asked, taking me by surprise.

"I'm not exactly avoiding anyone," I began. "I just…I don't think I can deal with constant looks of pity," I admitted.

"Jenn, no one is giving you looks of pity. Like it, or not, the Sons are your family. You take care of those guys all the time. They're only looking to return the favor. Let them take care of you," Jackson instructed.

I sighed in defeat.

"Look, I have to head back with Chibs. Walk on out there with me," he convinced.

"Well, if you're leaving, I should really see you boys off," I agreed.

Reluctantly, I followed Jax outside, where a handful of the guys were sitting around, smoking and drinking, likely waiting to see their brothers off. Chibs, Happy, Rane, Lorca, and Kozik were all sitting around on the patio we had worked to build two years ago. Jax and I walked over to join them, and I broke the silence.

"Hey, Chibs…Hap…Rane," I greeted.

Chibs was the closest, so I hugged him first.

"How're you holdin' up, love," he asked with a smile and some genuine concern.

"I'm…alright," I told him. "What about you, hon?"

"Well, I miss havin' you around Charming, but I suppose I'll survive," he told me with a smile.

"You must not remember how much trouble I was back in Charming," I said with a reminiscent smile.

"Oh, how could I forget?! I recall bailing you and Jax out of the drunk tank many times…just so your old man wouldn't find out," he remembered with a laugh.

"Hey, Hap," I moved to him next. "How're you…and how's your mom doing," I questioned, not having seen him much over the last couple months or so.

"I'm good. Mom's been pretty sick, but I check in on her often," he revealed.

"Sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help," I asked hopefully.

"Nah. I'll keep you posted though. Thanks for asking," he responded, before adding, "I'll grab you a beer." He tossed his empty in a nearby trash can and headed inside as I greeted Rane.

"How you doing," I asked as he pulled me in for a great bear hug.

I smiled at the gesture, before wincing in pain. Quickly, he let go, obviously forgetting that I wasn't one hundred percent.

"Sorry, mama," he apologized.

"It's all good," I croaked as I moved to sit next to Herman, who was trying not to laugh.

When Happy returned with a beer, the seven of us sat around and chatted, recalling both memories of my younger years as well as memories of my dad.

It didn't feel like long before Chibs and Jax announced that they needed to head out. It felt like only an hour had passed. It had in fact been three.

"You know, we should probably call it a night, too," Kozik advised.

"Lee wants us at the table early," Happy explained, when I appeared confused.

We said our goodbyes to Jackson and Chibs before the rest of us headed inside.

"So, I'm going to grab my things from the back room. Quinn, it's all yours. Hap, since you'll be back for a bit, you're welcome to the guest room at my place," I offered.

"I'll, um, grab your stuff," Kozik volunteered.

"You sure I won't be…intruding," Happy questioned uncertainly.

"No. Not at all, Hap. You're family…and you aren't sleeping on some crummy couch," I all but ordered.

Herman brought my bag out and I followed him outside while Happy snagged a case of beer. I then realized that we would be riding back to my place, since my car was no where to be found. Herman didn't look like his usual self, so I questioned him.

"What's wrong, Koz? You've been acting strange all night," I requested.

"Nothing's wrong. It was nice watching you tonight. Just for a little bit, you were back to your old self," he commented.

"Don't worry, baby…I'll come back to you," I promised with a smile before kissing him gently.

I could feel his longing, and I couldn't deny that a part of me longed for him as well. But I wasn't ready. I wasn't sure how long it would be before I was either. That worried me. Would Koz seek to fulfill those urges elsewhere?

The next morning, I woke up alone. I could hear the shower running and knew Herman was likely getting ready. I rolled out of bed and trudged to the kitchen. I put on a pot of coffee and turned just in time to see Kozik and Happy filing into the kitchen.

I was surprised to see them joking around so early. By the time they realized what I was doing, I had already pulled out eggs, bacon, milk, and pancake mix.

"Babe, you don't have," Herman started before I interrupted.

"Yes, I do. You both need to eat before we leave," I responded, pulling out a few pans and utensils.

"Are you going to eat," Koz challenged.

I hadn't even thought about myself. And now that I had actually took the time to think about it, I couldn't recall the last time I ate.

"You don't eat, we don't eat," Happy revealed, helping Kozik in his cause.

"Fine…I'll eat," I answered, beginning breakfast.

About an hour and a half later, I drove to the clubhouse as both men followed me. I began to wonder if the MC was worried that I may still be in danger. I decided I would keep my pondering to myself until it became necessary to ask.

Immediately after arriving, the guys all gathered at the table while James took on my cleaning duties. Meanwhile, I forced myself back to answering the phone and doing paperwork.

For the first time that I can remember, I opened the blinds, allowing all light in and giving me a perfect view to be able to tell when the guys were done.

I wasn't certain what their topic of discussion was, but I figured it has something to do with my assault and my dad's death. Despite the fact that it was club business, I wanted to know the outcome. It did, after all, involve me.

I was shocked when the guys filed out after only sixteen minutes. I caught Kozik's eye, quickly realizing that his expression was angry. I started to get to my feet to see what was going on. He quickly shook his head, confusing me until I realized that Lee was headed in my direction.

Concerned and confused, I briskly sat down. He momentarily made eye contact with me prior to entering my office. He didn't appear happy either. This couldn't be good news.

"Do I even need to ask," I questioned as he sat across from me.

"There are a couple of things that you and I need to discuss. Do you have a minute," he requested politely.

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's not like I'm going anywhere," I reminded him jesting.

He smiled lightly, but I could tell that he wasn't in the mood to joke.

"What's going on, Lee," I questioned, openly displaying the concern I felt.

"Well, first off, this was your dad's garage, and building, for that matter. Your old man has always used this place for the MC, but now this place belongs to you. Or it will soon. So, I'm requesting your permission to continue using this place," Lee asked.

"You're joking, right? Lee, most of you guys work here. This place is just as much a home to you and the MC as it is to me. You guys are always welcome here," I responded, astounded that this had been a topic. "Is that seriously why everyone looks so pissed? Surely you guys didn't think…"

Lee stopped me before I could finish, " no, Jenn, we didn't think you were going to kick us out. But seeing as how this will soon be your place, I personally felt it would be respectful to ask your permission."

"So, why is everyone so mad," I asked, seeing them all head off to work in the garage.

"Look, this is going to be hard to hear, but Bill had a final request in regards to Martinez," Lee informed me.

"Final request," I asked, hoping for an explanation.

"He requested that we don't go after Martinez…no revenge," he told me.

"Wait, so…the guys who did this to me…the fuckers who killed my dad…they just get away with this," I asked incredulously.

"Well, it wasn't a decision I could just make for the club. We had to take a vote. We only had two votes against Bill's wishes…everyone else voted to honor your facther's final request," Lee exposed.

"Am I allowed to ask who voted no," I asked him, watching for a reaction, which could give me a hint.

"No. Afraid not, Jenn. Look, I've already told you more than I'm really supposed to. I do want to fill you in on one more thing though," he revealed.

"What now," I asked, visibly upset.

"The rest of the Nomads will be in tomorrow. Rane's rounded everyone up. Day after tomorrow, we head out to Charming. We'll be transporting Bill's body for the funeral. Just as a safety precaution, you'll head down the day after that, and the funeral will be the following day," he advised.

"Safety precaution," I inquired, confused. "Wouldn't it be safer for me to be with the MC," I pointed out.

"That's what they'd expect…if they're still a threat, they'll think you've gone with us. We'll have James drive the body down. And in the meantime, you'll discreetly ride with Happy down to your dad's old cabin for the night," Lee told me.

"I feel like a damn kid…or a prisoner," I admitted.

"I know, Jenn. Look, I'm sorry, but this is the only way we'll know if you're still in any danger," he reminded me.

"Okay, fine. But if nothing happens, then it's agreed that this shit with Martinez is fucking over," I told him, getting to my feet.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and returned to my empty office. I finished up some paperwork before making arrangements for a dinner when the rest of the Nomads arrived. Once I decided I was caught up enough to be in the kitchen all day tomorrow, I grabbed my purse and went outside.

I sat on the patio and lit a cigarette. It only took about thirty seconds before Koz joined me, lighting his own.

"Are you alright, babe," he asked, gently placing his arm around me.

"Yeah. Not really anything I could do anyway. Hey, I have to run to the store to pick up some things for dinner tomorrow. I have to take one of you with me. I was hoping it would be you," I questioned hopefully.

"Yeah, of course. Are you ready," he asked, noticing that I had my purse already.

"Yeah, but you're driving, okay?"

"Sure thing," he agreed, grabbing my keys before entwining his fingers in mine.

He opened the passenger door, allowing me to get in, before going around an re-adjusting the driver's seat.

"So are you sure you're up for making this dinner," he asked me, worried that I was taking on too much.

"Yeah, I got through tons of work today so I could spend tomorrow in the kitchen," I explained.

"That's not exactly what I meant," Kozik told me, occasionally glancing over at me throughout the conversation.

"I'm alright, babe. I promise. I like doing this stuff," I reminded him.

"Alright. Just…don't overdo it," he warned.

After a couple minutes of silence, he spoke up once more.

"So, what's on the menu," he asked curiously.

"Well, I was thinking chicken fried steak, baked potatoes, veggies, gravy, of course, and a few different pies for dessert," I revealed.

"Sounds…delicious," he commented with a smile.

"Koz," I caught his attention on a deeper level.

"I've, um, I've wanted to talk to you about something…well, private. We just really haven't had a good opportunity yet," I admitted.

"Oh yeah? What's going on, babe," he asked uncertainly.

"Okay, so, I know this is a conversation we will have to have eventually. But I want to get it out of the way early on," I admitted.

"Jenna, you're kind of freaking me out. Is everything alright," he questioned with a worried expression.

"I, um…I know that I haven't exactly been myself lately. And I know I haven't been very…affectionate," I began.

Kozik interrupted, "Jenn, stop. After what you've been through, I'm frankly surprised that you're okay even kissing me or letting anyone even touch you."

"Okay, but here's the thing, Herman…I was already pretty low on myself before all of this. As fucked up as this may sound, I actually, um…want you right now," I admitted, feeling ashamed. "But I feel…damaged. I don't even want to consider doing anything until after testing. But even then…I mean…what if it's…not the same? What if I really am, I dunno, damaged," I questioned as he pulled into a parking space.

"Baby, you can only be damaged if you let them make you so. You're my girl. And as long as you want to be my girl, it's going to stay that way. If I have to wait a year, I'll do it. Now don't worry about this anymore. I just want you to be okay, hon. Trust me, I can wait for you to be comfortable again," he assured me.

I smiled over at him nervously.

"Now there's something I'd like to discuss with you," Kozik revealed.

"And what would that be," I asked him.

"So, I know Lee talked to you about the no revenge request," Herman started.

"Should _we_ be talking about this," I asked him cautiously.

"Not exactly. That's why this conversation isn't happening," Koz told me.

"Okay, so no revenge. That's it, right," I responded.

"No. Fuck that, Jenn. That bastard hurt you. I say…fuck no revenge," he declared, taking me by surprise.


	10. 010 Better Half

*** I only own my own OC's. ***

Herman and I spent the next hour wading through the mass of people in the supermarket. We didn't really get an opportunity to continue our conversation, so we shopped in silence. I couldn't help but smile when I caught Koz checking me out. He smiled and winked at me in response.

When we finally made it to my car, we loaded everything into the trunk.

"So, back onto the topic of revenge…or lack thereof," I began when we were both settled and he started the car.

"You shouldn't worry about this, Jenn. I'll take care of it," Herman responded.

"No. That's the thing, you see. I don't want you to," I admitted.

"You want them to just get away with everything," Koz questioned in confusion.

"At first…I was…mad," I admitted. "Hell, I was outraged," I elaborated. "But, I get it. I really do. Besides, if I just fixate on vengeance, I'm not really working to move past this, am I? And…I don't want you acting against the MC, especially for me," I tried to convince.

I could see he was thinking everything over. I think I surprised him when I took his hand into mine, because he suddenly glanced over at me.

"Please, Herman…I need you to get this go," I requested.

He sighed in defeat, "alright. I'll let it go. But only because you're asking me to."

I smiled over at him, prompting him to squeeze my hand in response.

When we pulled up to the garage, everyone was closing up shop. I grabbed a few bags as Kozik did the same. As we headed inside, a couple of the guys headed over to grab what was left in the trunk.

Within the next hour, several of the guys headed home to their families. Rane, Happy, Koz, James, and I all stayed at the clubhouse. I stored everything away in the kitchen, only keeping out what was needed to make several pies. The guys sat around drinking and talking, while I began working on the pies. I had all the crust made up when someone slinked their hands around my waist from behind. Initially, I jumped, being startled at the sudden contact.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Herman apologized.

"No, it's alright. I just didn't hear you come in," I told him, calming as I inhaled his scent.

Kozik had always smelled so good. Sweetly, he nuzzled his chin against my shoulder.

"You don't have to hide out in here," Koz told me with a smile.

"I'm almost done. I'm not baking them until tomorrow. I want them to be fresh. So I'll just add in the filling, lay over the top crust, and come have a few beers with you guys," I told him with a smile.

"You up for some Texas Hold 'Em," he asked, likely remembering my fondness for the game.

"If we aren't betting clothes," I responded with a laugh.

"Ah, I remember that game," he told me thoughtfully. "I didn't like how it ended though," he added, now watching me finish readying each pie for tomorrow.

"I don't remember much of that game," I admitted blushingly.

"Well, let me remind you," he began. "You were down to this…incredibly sexy, bright turquoise bra and panty set. Between Jax, Hap, Tig, Juice, and myself, all eyes were on you," he continued as I carefully transported each pie for storage.

"Oh, bullshit," There were four other girls there…one completely naked, and throwing herself at you. I do remember that. That was before the bottle of Jack came out," I responded in disbelief.

"Trust me, at that moment, all eyes were on you. You had just lost and were about to remove another article of clothing…then Jax scooped you up and carried you off with that smirk," Koz explained.

"Were you jealous," I asked teasingly, placing the last pie in the fridge.

"I still am," Koz admitted admiringly.

"Jealous of what," I asked, turning to face him now. "Damaged merchandise, remember?"

"Stop. Jenn, even after everything that's happened recently, they still look at you like that," Kozik informed me.

I rolled my eyes in disbelief, but responded, "Koz Lorca just told me the other day that I was like his little sister…"

"Lorca's stupid. And there's always an exception. Jax, for example. I noticed several instances where he looked you over," Kozik tried to convince me.

"Jackson doesn't count. There's a…history. Besides, you said that didn't bother you," I reminded him.

"Okay…Happy then. He looks at you the same way," Herman continued.

"Happy? Whatever, Koz. If any of these guys, Happy included, wanted me, they would have made it obvious…like Lee did…or like you did," I told him before deciding to end the conversation.

"Now quit worrying about my confidence level and let's go drink and play cards," I requested.

With a guilty smile, he grabbed my hand and led me out to the only occupied table.

"She's in," Koz announced.

"So what, did you all conspire against me and my baking? Is it that bad," I asked as James sat down with another several beers. Happy sat across from me, setting down a deck of cards.

"So what are we betting," I asked quickly.

"Okay, first off, no one is opposed to your baking," Rane practically guaranteed.

"And, we're betting shots. Winner picks who drinks," Happy informed me, pulling out a few bottles of liquor.

"What's with the variety," I questioned, noticing tequila, whiskey, vodka, and rum.

"Dealer picks the shot. Dealer is also exempt from being picked to take the shot," James advised with a sinister smile.

The first hand was already problematic, Koz and I both ended up with an ace and a five, both of which were on the table.

"What now," I asked, confused. "You guys obviously made this up high." I added in.

"Easy now. Don't hate on our stoned creativity. Whoever draws the higher card from the top of the deck wins," James decided.

Since Happy had been the dealer, he had already poured a shot of Jack for the drinker.

"And, as a tie-breaker, loser drinks instead of winner picking," Happy decided with a dangerous half-smile.

Happy flipped over Koz's card…a four. I smiled, figuring a four would be simple to beat. Happy flipped over my card, revealing a three.

"Seriously?! What are the odds," I complained as Happy handed me the disgusting shot with a laugh.

James placed the vodka on the table before dealing. Kozik won the second hand with a straight, calling for me to have to down the even more revolting vodka.

As Koz placed the tequila on the table and dealt, I spoke up, "what the fuck? Why am I being picked on?"

I won the next hand with a pair of kings, requesting Happy shoot down the golden tequila. Dealing next, I kept the tequila on the table. Kozik won with his own pair of kings, requesting that James take a shot.

We continued in this fashion for a couple of hours, finally calling it quits to smoke instead. As we all lounged on the patio in the fresh air, I curled up against Koz, feeling the comfort of his muscular arms wrapping around me. I missed feeling like this. I was officially beyond the point of feeling any pain and of lacking any confidence.

"Baby, I didn't do so well at booze poker," I mused.

Kozik smiled and laughed as he answered, "and why do you say that?"

"I'm…um…pretty wasted," I told him before adding, "would you be able to take me home?"

"Yeah," he answered with a laugh.

He kissed me on the head as he gestured for me to get up.

"You cool to ride," he asked Happy. "We can always take Jenn's car," he offered.

"I'm good," he responded. "Besides, maybe a car ride alone is what you two need," he added with a wink.

I flushed uncertainly, not positive in his meaning.

"Dude, come on," Koz scolded, guiding me toward my car.

We walked in silence as I felt a sudden strange pressure. I began to wonder if the guys had planned to get me drunk to get Koz laid. Did they know what I was going through…what Herman was being forced to deal with?

"You've been quiet," Herman commented, adding in, "too quiet. What's going on in that over-active brain of yours?"

"Huh," I reacted, realizing that we were pulling into my driveway.

"What's wrong, Jenn," he asked me as we approached my front door.

I was very conflicted at this point. I had wanted Koz for so long, that I couldn't help but feel that longing now that all of my pain was numb. But I also knew that if I was sober, I wouldn't be ready for this yet.

We made it inside, where I turned and kissed him, throwing my arms around his neck. I could tell he found himself caught up in the moment as he pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. I expected things to take off from there. But when I drunkenly began to remove my clothes, Koz broke away and looked down at me in confusion.

"We can't do this, Jenn. Not tonight," he told me.

I continued to undress, obviously frustrating him in more ways than one.

"Jenn, please don't tempt me like this," he practically begged. "You may feel like you are right now, but you aren't ready, baby. And I will not have you resent me because I caved."

"Can you come hold me," I asked hopefully. "I promie, I'll stop…I just want to sleep in your arms."

The following day, I spent a log of time in the kitchen. Happy and Kozik were gone when I got up. Koz left a note about being on club business. Lee had a couple of the local sweet butts helping me out in the kitchen. But aside from James ensuring I didn't need anything and the occasional Nomad coming through to greet me, I hadn't heard anything or anyone all day.

Everything was about done when Kelly, one of the girls, returned from her smoke break.

"Hey Jenn," she began. "You may want to go have a smoke."

"I just got back," I responded in confusion.

"The guys are back. And I know you've been waiting for them. We can pull out the pies. Go ahead," Kelly offered.

I didn't know a lot about Kelly, but she had always been one of the nice girls at the club. She always offered to help, and tended to keep the other girls in line. She would make quite the old lady one day.

"Thanks, Kell," I responded gratefully, quickly scrubbing my hands clean.

I grabbed my cigarettes and sat on the patio, waiting for Herman to finish greeting his Nomad brothers. It didn't take long for him to notice me on the patio, alone. In about two minutes, he was lighting a cigarette and heading over.

"Hey," he greeted with his usual charming smile.

I smiled back at him before quickly apologizing.

"I'm so sorry about last night," I apologized as he sat across from me.

"Sorry? Don't be sorry, Jenn. For one, super hott," he responded with a smirk and a wink.

"No, I mean, I should have never put you in that position," I followed up. "I am so sorry."

"Seriously, Jenna, don't be…we're good," he promised.

"I, um, I made a call this morning. Gemma set me up with a doctor when I get to Charming. I'll have myself tested then. It'll be a couple days or so before I have results though," I revealed.

"Do you want me to go with you, or is this something you prefer to do on your own," he questioned.

"I'm not sure yet. I'll have to let you know when the time comes," I admitted.

Eager to change the topic, I did just that, "you wanna tell the guys the food's ready? I'll, um, see you inside."

I got up and disappeared inside, thankful to find one of the girls setting everything out. Kelly carried the last dish out, addressing me as she did so.

"Take a load off, Jenn. You've already done most of the work…relax, honey," she kindly suggested.

As the guys filed in, I was surprised when Kozik's arm suddenly draped across my shoulders. I walked with him to sit at the table.

Dinner was nice. It was almost like old times. Everyone was gathered around, eating, joking, chatting, and laughing. I couldn't help but get caught up in the moment for once. Losing my father, my recent assault, and my damaged ego all seemed to fade away. I suddenly found myself lost in a daze. I realized that while I was having fun, two things were missing. One, dad was gone…two, my already poor self-confidence was at an all time low.

"You alright, babe," Koz leaned over and whispered, catching that I had managed to wander off into my own little world.

"Yeah," I responded, managing a smile. "I'll be right back," I added, heading toward the bathroom.

Once alone in the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I couldn't get my father back. And one day, I would feel better about myself. But until then, I had to live with my own self-hatred and guilt.

Both hands pressed against the porcelain sink, I looked up into the mirror. It was official. I was no longer then fun-loving daddy's girl, who did her best to see the best in everyone.

"I'm going to kill that mother fucker," I told myself with a hateful scowl.


	11. 011 Capybara

*** I only own my own OC's. ***

The next morning, I made my way around, hugging the guys goodbye. I finally made my way to Kozik. Happy stood close by, already following orders not to let me out of his sight.

Koz pulled me against himself, "Keep her safe, Hap."

Happy nodded in response as I stretched to press my lips to Herman's. After a moment, we separated.

"Come back to me," I told him with a sweet smile.

"This time you'll be coming to me," he reminded me with a wink.

Moments later, the guys rode off, with James and Lorca using a van to transport my father's body. Happy and I watched them disappear before heading inside.

"So, when do we leave for the cabin," I asked, eager to get out of the suddenly empty clubhouse.

"We leave in about an hour. Wanna make sure that if there's any danger, it doesn't follow you," Happy reminded me.

"And what do we do until then," I questioned.

"Play a game of pool…have some drinks," he suggested.

"Drinks? It's like 9:00 in the morning," I answered.

"Never stopped you before," he told me matter-of-factly.

"Good point. Pool and beer it is then," I agreed, grabbing two beers.

We played silently at first. And I was surprised that Happy was the one to break the silence. Happy typically forced others to start the conversation.

"I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I have to know…are you doing alright? And don't give me your standard bullshit answer you feed to everyone else," Happy practically demanded.

I was shocked. Leave it to Happy to call you on your shit.

"Wow," I began before downing the rest of my beer.

"You're stalling," he commented as I grabbed two more beers.

"Okay, yes, I am stalling," I admitted. "I don't know if I should tell you the truth."

"Maybe you should. You haven't exactly talked to anyone. You know, Koz is really worried about you…and so am I," Hap admitted.

"The thing is…you might think I'm crazy. Hell, maybe I am," I thought out loud.

"Crazy? Jenn, are you serious," Happy began. "You do realize who you're talking to," he challenged.

"I'm losing it, Hap," I admitted, looking away from him now.

"Elaborate," he instructed.

"Happy, my dad's gone. There's this…anger. I can't even describe it…it's so much stronger than anger. The worst part is…I'm not even fucking mad at Martinez. I'm…pissed at my dad. I mean, he…didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye," I angrily vented.

Happy leaned against the pool table, watching my angry confession. Now very self-conscious, I stopped.

"That's normal, Jenn. Being mad at your dad after all this is completely normal," Happy assured me.

"That's not what's making me crazy," I revealed.

"Come on, Jenn, you can tell me," he pushed.

I sighed in frustration and decided to admit defeat, "I feel…damaged. Do, um, do you know what happened to me?"

"I heard a little," Happy admitted.

Before he could say anything else, I continued, "Koz has been really supportive, he really has. But I don't know…I feel like I…need to do _something_ to be me again."

"Like what," he questioned.

"That's what I really can't tell you, Hap," I told him honestly.

"I see. Well, then I shouldn't tell you that I suggested to Lee that you hide out at your dad's cabin for the night. I also shouldn't tell you that Hector drinks at a bar not far from the very same cabin. He has a regular girl he sees out there. I probably also shouldn't tell you that I'd be obligated to call both Lee and Kozik if anything happens," Happy revealed.

"Well…I think it's been an hour, don't you," I asked with a smile.

In a couple of hours, Hap and I were entering the cabin. I hadn't set foot inside the cabin since the apparently infamous game of strip Texas Hold 'Em. That reminded me of Kozik's view of the game. Had Happy really looked at me like that, or was Koz just unnecessarily jealous?

Uncomfortably, I entered the cabin. I set my backpack down and quickly lit a cigarette. We smoked in silence, a strange, awkward silence. Once I finished, I disposed of the cigarette butt in the ashtray and got to my feet, stretching as I did so. I could feel Happy watching me, something that made me nervous, though I wasn't positive as to why.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I told Happy, grabbing my backpack.

"Alright, I'll be here," he responded.

His response surprised me. Surely he knew what I was up to. We had just discussed this right before leaving the clubhouse. I guessed this was more of the 'I shouldn't tell you' conversation.

Without looking back at him, I headed into the only bathroom in the small, two bedroom cabin. I could feel his piercing dark eyes on me as I closed the door. There wasn't a lock, but if there was, I wouldn't lock it anyway. I didn't want Hap to have to bust down the door when he was required to check on me when I never re-emerged. I stripped out of my jeans and the blue tank top and re-dressed in a pair of black fish nets, a small black skirt, a hot pink halter top, and a pair of heeled laced boots. I also threw on enough make up to look as slutty as possible, as well as make myself as unrecognizable as possible. Then I added the final touch. I disguised my blonde locks with a brown wig that featured hot pink streaks.

I felt as confident as I could in the ridiculous get up. I pulled out a small purse, just large enough for my cell phone and a silenced pistol. I glanced in the mirror, thinking how easily I could pass for a croweater right now.

I turned on the shower, leaving the water to run cold since no one would actually be using it. I used the noise from the shower to cover the sound of the small window opening. Cautiously, I climbed out, feet first. When my feet hit the ground, I turned to run toward the small shed. The bike I had told my dad I would sell was stashed there, along with a can of gas that was hopefully still good.

"Fuck," I declared when I ran directly into Happy.

He smiled, obviously having a laugh at letting me go to all the trouble of sneaking out.

"What the fuck, Hap? I thought we talked about how we didn't talk about this," I questioned, trying to get my heart rate back down.

"Did you really think I was going to let this happen," he asked me in disbelief.

"I…I thought you understood," I admitted, suddenly feeling very self-conscious in my small skirt.

"Go turn the water off," he instructed before adding, "then we can head out."

"Head out," I asked, looking back at him as he followed me around to the front.

"Yeah. I shouldn't be helping you…so I won't," he told me in the offset tone we spoke in back at the clubhouse.

I turned off the water while he shut and locked the window. When I turned around, I caught his eyes look me p and down.

"Out of curiosity, what exactly was your plan," he questioned.

"I was, um, going to get him to a motel room…then put a bullet in his head," I admitted.

"Not bad…for a beginner," he responded. "Two problems with that plan."

"What's that," I requested.

"How were you going to dispose of him? The guy is over 200 pound," Happy reminded me.

"I…was gonna call you," I admitted sheepishly.

"And what about the blood? You wouldn't want to leave any traces in a place as close to public as a motel room," he quizzically requested.

"Bleach," I admitted. "I was gonna pick that up before and stash it near the motel."

"How do you feel about a change in plans," he asked me thoughtfully.

"What do you mean," I answered questioningly.

"Why have to go through the trouble of moving the body at all, Jenn?"

"So, what, I lure him to his grave…literally," I asked, thinking maybe the idea sounded too good to be true.

"Not exactly. Lure him to someone else's grave," Happy finally revealed.

"I'm gonna warn you now, Jenn. Koz and Lee will know about this. I'm not lying to my brothers," Happy informed me.

"No, Hap! The club voted no revenge on the Mayans. _You _can't do this. In fact…we have to lie…at least a little. We'll tell them about tonight, but not the exact way it goes down. While you wait at the cemetery, call them. Tell them I ran out, like I just tried to. Tell them you're looking for me. When I'm done, call and tell them I called you for help getting rid of the body," I suggested.

He appeared skeptical.

"I'm not dragging you down in this. We either compromise, or I'll just disappear on you…and that puts me in more danger," I bargained.

"Fine," he agreed. "Let's go," he ordered.

An hour later, I was a little high as I entered a dingy little bar. I strutted over to the bar and ordered the most girly drink I could think of…a Cosmo. I felt the eyes of many people on me. As I waited for my drink, I lazily glanced around the room. That's when I spotted him…the rapist. He was with a couple of Mayans, none of whom I recognized at a quick glance. Momentarily, the rapist and I made eye contact. I felt my stomach churn from revulsion. The weed, another of Happy's ideas, helped me manage a smile.

The bartender brought back the disgusting-looking drink, prompting me to turn back toward the bar.

"I'd steer clear of that group," he warned in a whisper. "Nothing but trouble."

"Thanks for the tip, cowboy. It just so happens, I like trouble," I responded, forcing an accent.

As if on cue, I felt someone sit beside me. I sipped on my drink, not looking over to see if it was actually Hector.

"Put that on my tab," the man instructed the bartender before adding, "and bring her another."

I forced myself to look over. My heart raced with anxiety when I saw that is was actually him.

"And what's your name, tough guy," I challenged playfully.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing," he responded. "I guess it doesn't really matter though. You're one of Bravo's girls," he asked, throwing me off.

"Bravo? Well, honey, I don't know any Bravo. Just passing through," I admitted, thinking it could very well be the only truthful thing to come out of my mouth this evening.

"Well, I apologize for assuming," he started.

I interrupted, "don't worry about it. You can just buy me another drink."

I winked at him for good measure. He took that as his cue to make a move. The filthy bastard brazenly placed his hand on my knee. While my stomach churned, I knew I had to keep my cool. I quickly downed the second drink as he rubbed his calloused hands on my leg.

"So, I should probably ask this now. Not a lot of men can…handle a girl like me," I began, temptingly.

"Baby, with legs like that, I can handle anything you throw at me," he responded, staring at my net-covered legs.

"When I came in here, I noticed a cemetery across the street. I've always had this…fantasy about some tall drink, like yourself, fucking my brains out…surrounded by all that…death," I pretended to admit.

He smirked, "I think I can help you out with that."

"I'll head on over while you pay your tab," I suggested.

"George, don't close out my tab, I'll be back later," Hector instructed as I slid off my stool.

Shit. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to have my gun ready when the sick bastard found me. I would have to improvise. The guy could easily overpower me. I knew Happy would be close by, but I didn't know where. I just hoped he was watching me to ensure I made it to our rendezvous point.

Happy watched Jenna enter the skeezy bar while he disappeared into the shadows of the cemetery. Once he found the small mausoleum near the already dug, empty grave, he pulled out his prepaid. He knew he'd get an ear full from both Koz and Lee, but he understood that Jenn needed this. He speed dialed Lee's prepaid. The new Pres picked up on the second ring.

"Hey man…I've got a…situation. You and Koz both need to hear this," Happy told him in his trademark raspy voice.

"Okay, Hap, you're on speaker. Everything alright," Lee responded.

"Where's Jenn? Did anything happen to her," Kozik quickly questioned.

"She bailed on me man. I'm out looking for her now," Happy revealed.

"I'm on my way," Koz began before Lee intervened.

"No, Koz. Happy can handle this. I'm not sending you out alone. Jenn will be back. She wouldn't miss her dad's funeral, man," Lee reminded them both.

"Hap, keep looking and trying to get her to answer calls. The second you hear or see anything, call me back, bro," the Tacoma President ordered.

"Got it, Lee. And Koz…I'm sorry, man. You know I'd never let anything happen to your girl," Happy responded.

"I just have one question before you go," Herman told Happy.

"Yeah, man, what's up," he asked.

"I thought you were the Tacoma Killer, man. How'd Jenna escape your watch," Herman challenged.

Happy gritted his teeth. If his response wasn't perfect, he may never live this down. And he knew the entirety of the Tacoma, Nomad, and Charming charters were likely listening.

"She went to take a shower, Koz. She went out the window. Would you rather me have sat and watched her shower? Because I can if you'll sleep better at night," Happy bit back.

He heard laughter erupt in the background. Before Lee hung up, Koz yelled at the phone.

Not cool, Hap!"

Happy shut the phone and dropped it back into his jean pocket. He could hear a voice approaching. Hap ducked out of sight behind the mausoleum. Remaining out of sight, he carefully watched as Jenna lead the Mayan to his undoing.


	12. 012 The Sleep of Babies

*** I only own my own OC's. ***

He had his gun ready, just in case the beautiful blonde found herself unable to pull the trigger. She barely passed the empty grave before turning to face the huge man.

"Right here? Damn, you're one freaky," the man started before he quickly fell silent.

Happy could see Jenna more clearly now. She hadn't just turned around, she was also aiming her silenced 9mm at the hulking figure.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing," the man questioned, taking one step forward.

"Stop right there, fucker," Jenna warned, dropping the ridiculous false accent.

"Do you know who I am, you dumb piece of shit," she challenged with a very clear hatred coursing through her.

Before the man could answer, Jenna revealed her identity.

"Remember the blonde in your shitty MC warehouse…the one you beat the hell out of? The one, of I'm certain many, you sexually assaulted? Do you remember that, you dumb fucktard?"

"Look," the Mayan began.

But Hector never finished his sentence. Instead and silenced bullet passed through his thick skull. Momentarily, he stood there. Then, his life came to a quick end when he collapsed into the grave. Jenna stood there, still pointing the gun.

Quickly, Happy dashed over to her. He stopped directly behind her, slowly placing his hands around her, gently forcing her to lower her weapon. She didn't jump as he expected she would.

"Put the gun away, Jenn," he whispered, gently guiding her arms down.

Jenna stared blankly at the now occupied grave and blinked away her distracting shock.

"Are you alright," he asked her as she put the weapon back into her overly feminine purse.

"Yeah. I just…I didn't expect him to stare at me like that after," she admitted. "Did you call Kozik and Lee," she questioned, looking up at him now.

"Yeah," he answered, pulling out the burner once more for part two of the plan.

"How'd that go," she wondered out loud.

"Koz tried to leave Charming and come up here looking for you. Lee stopped him. By the way, Jenn, you owe me after this," he teased lightly. "Koz challenged my skills because you happened to get away from me."

"Did he now," Jenna asked with a smirk, grabbing a shovel.

"I told him next time I'd watch you shower so you don't run off," Happy admitted with a taunting smile.

"You did not," she responded, playfully slapping him on the arm. "Just make the call," she requested, obviously blushing now.

Happy dialed Lee's prepaid one more time. Koz picked up this time, obviously worried about his girl.

"Did you find her," he requested immediately.

"Yeah, man. She just called me. Look, am I on speaker? This needs to be heard, could be blowback on the club," Happy told him.

"You're on, Hap," Jax said as everyone quieted down in the background.

Happy hadn't thought about it until just then, but Jax must have been worried about Jenna too. He knew Jax and Jenna had a history.

"Jenn just called and told me she needs help…with some…disposal," he worded carefully.

"What the fuck happened," Kozik demanded.

"Let's just say…she took care of a problem that was very personal," Happy phrased incredibly carefully.

"Take out the trash and get both of your asses down here," Lee ordered.

Koz grabbed the phone once more, "hey, Hap…did she sound…okay?"

Happy thought carefully on this one, eye-balling Jenna as she piled dirt on Hector's body.

"I think she'll be fine, man. Jenn's a lot tougher than people give her credit for," he answered.

"We'll be there by morning," Hap finished the conversation before hanging up.

Happy put the phone away and quickly went over to Jenn, silently grabbing the shovel.

"Sit for a bit," he offered. "It's my turn."

Reluctantly, Jenna complied. She sat on the green grass while Happy continued to pile dirt onto the dead rapist.

"Happy," she spoke up, conversing as he continued shoveling dirt.

"Yeah," he responded, wondering what exactly was going on in her mind as this night was coming to a close.

"Is it…fucked up…that I don't feel guilty," she asked him, staring at the ground.

"Well, that depends, I guess. Why don't you feel guilty," he questioned, keeping his wandering eyes on the task at hand.

He had been forcing himself to keep his lustful glances to himself all night. He would never do anything to betray his brothers, especially sleep with one of their girls, not that he even had a chance with a girl like Jenn. But something about who she became that night was really getting to him.

"I keep telling myself that I did it because I didn't want what happened to me to happen to some other girl," Jenn admitted thoughtfully.

"Is it true," he asked, deciding enough dirt had been piled on.

There was enough to cover the Mayan, but not enough to make the grave appear too shallow.

"Partially," she admitted as he jumped down into the grave.

"I think that's a pretty legit reason, Jenn. What you really need to ask yourself is, did you get yourself back tonight," he asked, remembering her more personal need for vengeance.

"I dunno. I mean, I feel like me again. Just a much less angry and much more dangerous version of myself," she revealed.

As Happy finished smoothing out and packing down the dirt, they sat in silence. It wasn't until he felt satisfied with his work that he climbed out of the hole and addressed Jenna once more.

"Jenn, you've always been dangerous," he assured her.

"What," she questioned in disbelief.

"Do you realize the effect you have on this club? You bat those pretty doe eyes and everyone of these guys will come running," he explained.

"You included," she questioned dangerously.

"See what I mean…dangerous," he responded, offering a hand to help her up off the ground.

She accepted the offer and pulled herself up off of the grass and dirt, quickly brushing any debris from her ass and legs. Happy glanced away, waiting to head off deeper into the cemetery and rejoin his bike on the other side.

Jenna was safe…for now, at least. He was drunk by now and had entirely too many emotions floating through him right now. He was relieved that Jenn was okay. He was worried about how this could further affect her mental state. She was already very vulnerable. Oddly enough, though, more than anything else, he was pissed.

After the speaker phone chat with Hap, the Charming clubhouse was unusually quiet. He could feel the eyes of several club members flicker over to him. Kozik angrily broke the silence.

"What the fuck happens now," he asked Lee.

"I dunno. We need all the details before we make a decision. Though I think with Hap looking after her, this could be easily dealt with," Lee admitted.

That was the thing that bothered Herman the most. Everyone had so much confidence in Happy taking care of HIS girl. Filled with anger and jealousy, Kozik grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the center of the table. With everyone watching him, he disappeared outside to the picnic table. He lit a joint and drank mouthfuls of the whiskey straight from the bottle.

"Hey man, you alright," one of the voices he didn't want to hear checked on him.

"I thought I understood her, Jax," Herman responded.

Jax laughed a little, "if there's one thing I've learned about women…you can never really understand them."

"Shit man. You know her better than I do. It fucking pisses me off to admit that, but you do. Man, has she ever been like this before," Herman asked, slumped against one of the tables.

"You mean crazy," Jax asked with another laugh. "Jenn has always been crazy, Koz. No disrespect meant when I say this, but Jenna's a gorgeous girl. She's just never seen it. Hell, maybe that's partially my fault. She's always been a damn scrapper too. You should have seen her and my girl, Tara, back in high school. Again, my fault. She's done a good job of…domesticating herself since she left for Tacoma. But the reality of it is, she's a wild child, Koz. To the best of my knowledge, until this, she's never killed anyone, but she can handle a gun as comfortably as you or any other member of this club," Jax enlightened Koz.

Two croweaters, a blonde and a false redhead, sauntered out the front door, each holding beers. The blonde handed Jackson one, sitting next to him. He nodded for her to head back inside. Reluctantly, she did so. The one with the bright red hair handed a cold one to Koz, who gladly accepted. Rather than forcing his croweater out, Koz decided she could keep him company.

"You sure about that, bro," Jackson asked, knowing he wasn't in his right mind at the moment.

"Rules of the road, bro," Koz responded, downing the entire bottle of beer. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and lead the smiling fiery-haired temptress back toward an empty room.

Completely exhausted, I achingly de-boarded Happy's Harley.

"Thanks, Hap…for everything," I appreciated.

"No prob, blondie," he teased, remembering my brunette wig from the previous evening.

As we headed toward the clubhouse, I suddenly felt the impending sense of doom encompass me. What would be waiting for me when I got inside?

Happy could sense Jenna's suddenly stressed demeanor. She must have been terrified of how the club would handle the situation. He glanced over and saw that she anxiously placed her hands in the pockets of her jeans. After what felt like an eternal walk across the lot, they finally made it to the front door. Happy opened the door, holding it open for Jenn. Jenn took a deep breath and entered the clubhouse. It looked like most of the Charming guys hadn't made it in yet. Clay, Jax, and their Prospect were already in. The Prospect was the first to notice them while sweeping the filthy floor.

"Hey Clay, Jax," he grabbed their attention.

Jax and Clay smiled as they walked over, greeting the travelers.

"How you doing, hon," Jax greeted, pulling me in for a hug as Clay greeted Happy.

"I can give you a real answer tomorrow," I admitted honestly.

"You'll be fine," he whispered discreetly before releasing me from his hold.

"Hey, Jenn," Clay greeted. "I know it isn't really my place to say, but in my opinion, you did a good thing ridding the world of a scumbag like that," he added quietly.

"Thanks Clay," I responded with a smile.

"Where is everyone," Happy asked, looking around only to see Lorca passed out on a leather sofa.

"Prospect's waking Lee now," Clay answered.

"Come sit down, have some coffee," Jax offered.

Happy and I followed both men to a table where the four of us sat silently. I nervously pulled out a cigarette, quickly lighting it.

In just moments, Lee emerged from the back with the Prospect bringing several cups of coffee. It had just occurred to me that Kozik was nowhere to be seen. I had, for some dumb reason, imagined him waiting to greet me.

As if reading my mind, Lee sat down and informed me, "Koz will be out in a minute. He's just waking up too."

I continued to smoke and sip on my coffee. The Prospect continued to clean, but dutifully kept an eye on our cups to ensure he could stay on top of refills. In a matter of minutes, Herman was joining us at the table. The Prospect poured Koz a cup of coffee before returning to his chores. I observed Kozik long enough to notice that he must have gotten trashed the night before. Hell, he could very well still be drunk for all I knew. I wasn't certain why, but seeing him like this bothered me.

"Alright, Gemma's picking you up in a couple of hours, so we should probably get to it," Lee revealed.

Gemma was picking me up? Why would Gemma be picking me up? My doctor's visit wasn't until tomorrow morning.

"What happened, Jenn? I thought it was made very clear that there would be no retribution," Lee reminded me.

"It was made very clear that the Sons wouldn't exact revenge. I never agreed to anything. And, not to be a smart ass, but I didn't kill Martinez. I took out the rapist," I responded, obviously exhausted.

Happy sat there quietly while Clay and Jax smirked to themselves. Herman listened, obviously very irritated. Lee, however, thought every word I spoke over.

"I didn't go against your ruling, Lee. I didn't get revenge for my dad. I got revenge for me. That sick fuck…he took something from me. Last night, I took it back," I boldly stated.

"I need to know if this is gonna come back on us, Jenn. What did you do? I want all the details," Lee proceeded to question.

"He wasn't hard to find. He's a creature of habit. He screws around on his wife in some shit hole about an hour away from dad's cabin. He sees the same girl, some brunette who's pimped out by someone goes by Bravo," I began.

"I walked into the bar he meets her at and lured him away before she got there," I continued before Kozik interrupted.

"Lured? He didn't recognize you," Herman asked.

"I, um, wore a wig and threw on a different look. He thought I was one of the pimp's girls," I admitted sheepishly.

"He fell for it," Jax asked in disbelief.

"The guy's not exactly a genius. He bought me fucking cosmos for crying out loud. I…convinced him that I was just some freaky chick looking for a good time. He followed me into the cemetery across the road,' I revealed.

"Cemetery," Clay asked, his eyebrows arching.

"I told him it'd be hott to fuck around in a cemetery. He's fucking weird, I guess, because he was into it," I answered.

He followed me to an open grave that I had picked out before going to the bar. And when I turned around, I shot him dead. That's when I called Hap. I figured he'd be pissed and looking for me, plus I could use the help with burying the guy," I finished explaining.

"Where's the gun," Lee asked.

"In my bag. I figured I'd dispose of it after dad's funeral," I admitted.

"Well, it doesn't sound like there's a high chance of this coming back on the MC. I'm not gonna have to lock you up to keep you out of trouble, though, am I," Lee questioned, halfway serious.

"No…trust me…after last night…I feel…redeemed," I admitted. "I'm sorry I caused everyone so much worry. But I can't be sorry that I did this. That bastard deserved to die," I answered.


	13. 013 The Revelator

*** Thank you for the reviews! Keep 'em coming! I only own my own OC's ***

The six of us sat in silence for a few minutes until Clay's phone rang. He got up and walked away to take his phone call. Lee thanked Happy before showing him to a warm bed for some much needed rest. That left Jax, Koz, myself, and the Prospect. It was a very strange, tense, and awkward silence. I lit another cigarette as Jax got up.

"Shit," I heard Jax mumble as a woman with bright red hair approached the table.

I was thrown into a state of shock when she took the chair next to Herman and put her long logs across his lap.

"You're up early, sweetie," she purred, smirking at him.

Kozik didn't even move. He was like a deer caught in headlights. I couldn't believe this. What the fuck was happening?

Finally finding myself able to react, I scooted away from the table. I looked over at him as he shoved her legs off of him. Before he could say or do anything, I got up and practically ran out the door. Once I made it outside, I realized that I actually had no where to go. Crying, I started walking. I didn't know where to go, but anywhere was better than that clubhouse.

"Jenn, wait," Herman yelled.

I quickened my pace, hoping to lose him in his hung-over state.

"Jenn," he repeated as he grabbed my arm to stop me.

I jerked away from him, still refusing to look at him.

"Don't touch me," I ordered hatefully.

He quickly took his hand off of my arm in response.

"Why the fuck is this happening," I asked, still refusing to look at him.

"I'm sorry, Jenn. I was fucking pissed, alright. I was pissed and I drank and I…fucked up," he explained, hating to see the falling tears.

"Pissed? You threw some dirty pussy in my face because you were pissed," I ranted.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," Herman responded.

"What? I wasn't supposed to find out about your little fuck-fest? I was out getting myself back…for us," I yelled.

I wiped away a few tears and lit another cigarette.

"How do you think it makes me feel that she could fuck you and I couldn't," I told him quietly before puffing on the cigarette.

"This wasn't supposed to happen like this," Koz said again, more anger in his voice this time. "I'm not fucking dumb, Jenn. You're smart as hell, don't get me wrong, but there's no way you came up with that entire plan on your own. You…got yourself back…with Happy. You're lying to everyone. It sounds fucked up, Jenn, but you were onto something with using that death and sex fetish on that guy. They're both very…intimate. On top of that, it's been made pretty clear that he can obviously protect you better than I ever did," Herman finished.

"He started to walk away, but I spoke up, "Where'd you get this idea that Happy and I have any kind of intimate relationship?"

"Don't worry, Jenn, I'll keep your secret," he responded before walking away from me and disappearing back into the clubhouse.

This entire situation was fucked. Completely numb, I found the closest wall and walked over to it. I slid down the wall and sat there, smoking cigarette after cigarette. I was surprised when Tig sat beside me.

"I hate seein' you cry, doll," he commented, handing me a beer.

I gladly accepted, downing the entire bottle as quickly as possible.

"What's wrong with me, Tiggy," I asked as the tears humiliatingly continued to fall.

"What?! Are you fucking insane," he asked me. "If anything, Kozik's the one with something wrong."

"Tig, can I ask you something? I need it to stay here though," I requested hopefully.

"Yeah, anything," he answered quickly.

"Why does Koz have this idea that there's something going on with me and Hap," I asked, still confused.

"It's not just that it's Happy. If you had been out there with Jax, or me, or even the Prospect, he would wonder the exact same thing, only the guy would change in the scenario," Tig tried to explain.

"I don't get how me shooting a rapist and Happy helping me make sure everything was cleaned up is related to fucking him," I responded, still sniffling.

"Okay," he responded, thinking of the best way to break it down. "Alright, you're Koz's girl. When those guys snagged you, it was pretty much set in stone that he would at the very least torment the fuckers. Then when you came back all bruised, beaten, and violated, things changed. I've known Kozik for a while, and I can guarantee that he was planning to kill every one of those pricks. The ruling went out and he was pissed. I can almost guarantee you that he's pissed because he wanted to be with you when it happened. What happened to you affected him too, Jenn," Trager advised.

"So that makes it okay for him to fuck some whore and slap me in the face with her presence," I asked, hurting still.

"No. But you weren't here last night, Jenn. He was worried, then pissed, then humiliated," Alex revealed.

"Humiliated? Because of what," I requested.

"You did what he was supposed to do. And you did it with another guy, hon. There were a lot of jokes about the fact that another man was protecting his woman," Tig explained.

"Oh hey, your ride's here," Tig advised.

"Thanks Tiggy," I responded, hugging him before joining Gemma in her Cadillac.

"Hey, sweetie," Gemma greeted carefully.

"It's alright, Gem. As long as you don't rape me, I won't shoot you," I responded with my strangely sick sense of humor.

"Very funny. I guess your twisted sense of humor is your way of coping," Gemma commented before adding in, "maybe spending too much time with Tiggy isn't a good idea."

"It's been a rough morning," I admitted, doing my best to hide my pain.

"Yeah, I heard, honey. Just give him some space. You'll work things out when the time's right," Gemma wisely advised.

"I've missed you, Gem," I admitted with an unexpected smile.

She smiled in response, "you're always welcome back, sweetheart."

"So, I hope you don't mind, but I changed your doctor appointment to today. After being in that clubhouse last night, I figured you could use as much time as possible outside of it," she revealed.

"Good call," I told her, "Koz and his new girl can spend the day together."

Fifteen minutes later, Gemma lead me through St. Thomas.

"How is Abel," I asked, remembering that I wanted to hold the little bundle if I could while I was in town.

"He's doing really well, hon. He'll be out in a couple of days," Gemma revealed.

Gemma stopped in front of what appeared to be an office. As soon as I saw the name on the door, I immediately went on the defense.

"Seriously, Gem? Are you fucking with me," I requested.

"Tara's a doctor and you said you wanted discretion. This is about as discreet as we're gonna find, Jenn," she reminded me.

"She fucking hates me," I commented.

"Join the club," she responded before knocking on the door.

"Come in," Tara answered.

When we entered the room, Tara was putting away paperwork.

"Come on in. Have a seat," she offered, potentially forcing a smile.

Gemma and I each sat in a chair.

"What can I help you with," Tara asked, obviously unaware of the protocol for how to greet your former nemesis.

"Um, I was…assaulted a little while back. And I wanted to have some testing done…to be sure I didn't contract anything," I nervously explained.

"Okay, yeah, we can do that. Have you been in any pain lately," Tara questioned.

"I was sore and in pain for a few days, but not too bad since then. Most of the pain has been in my back and wrist," I responded.

"Alright. We'll need to go to an examination room so I can take some blood. And if it's alright, I'd like to make sure there's no serious damage," Tara offered.

"I'll be down at the chapel, honey. Come find me when you're done," Gemma told me as I followed Tara.

We walked in silence until Gemma was out of sight.

"I'm sorry to hear about your dad," Tara offered.

"Thank you. I miss him like crazy," I admitted, tearing up a little at the thought of my dad.

Tara showed me into the room and quickly handed me one of the hospital gowns.

"I have to grab a few things, but I'll be right back," she promised.

"Tara," I called, stopping her.

She turned to face me.

"Thank you. I really, really appreciate you helping me," I told her gratefully.

"You're welcome," she responded with a kind smile.

I undressed and neatly laid my clothes on one of the chairs before pulling on the thin gown and sitting on the examination table. Tara returned with everything needed to draw blood, ensure no permanent damage had been done, and a small cup for a urine sample.

"Okay, let's go ahead and draw some blood," she started.

As she prepared to draw blood for a few test tubes, she broke the awkward silence.

"I don't hate you," Tara revealed.

"What? You, um, you heard that," I questioned, even more embarrassed.

"Thin walls," she responded with a small laugh.

"How do you not hate me? I was Jax's go to for a hook up when you two were fighting," I asked in disbelief.

"You and I fought over Jackson like he was some prize," she remembered with a laugh.

"Kind of pathetic, huh? Well, just to clear the air, you never had anything to worry about. Jackson has always been in love with you," I responded with a smile.

She smiled at the thought.

"I met your boyfriend yesterday," Tara revealed before adding, "he's cute. And, kind of crazy, like you."

"Yeah…he's pretty pissed at me right now. I fucked up pretty big, I guess. Actually, we both fucked up. Right now I'm not even sure that we're together anymore," I admitted.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have brought him up," Tara began apologetically.

"No, it's cool. You didn't know," I answered as she placed the blood filled test tubes on a small tray.

"It's been a very…fucked up month, to say the least," I admitted with a sigh.

Thirty minutes later, I headed toward the chapel, ready to find Gemma and leave. She was already sitting right outside the entrance to the small church in the hospital.

"All done," she asked with a concerned smile.

"Yeah. Can we get out of here? I really need a cigarette," I requested.

"Yeah, let's go, honey. I made an appointment for us to get a manicure, a pedicure, and a facial. I figured you could use some pampering," she revealed as we headed toward the exit.

"Gemma, I'll go wherever you want if it means I don't have to face Koz…or Happy," I admitted.

"What did Happy do," she asked, wondering why I was avoiding Hap now.

"Nothing. Koz has it in his head that something's going on between me and Hap. With the way those guys gossip, I'm guessing he's heard. I'm not up to dealing with an awkward situation with him right now," I told her.

Gemma and I spent the day just as she said we would, being pampered. We headed back toward the clubhouse. Gemma already had a full house, or she said she would have offered me the guest room. She also advised that I should face my problem with Koz rather than running away from it anyway. An old lady should be strong enough to go toe to toe with her man when he was being an ass. I explained that I understood and that I'd be fine at the clubhouse for the night.

Gemma reluctantly dropped me off. As she headed home to meet Clay, I sat on the picnic table. I sat there for an hour, smoking and putting off having to go inside. I felt all of the exhaustion catching up with me.

The next thing I knew, I was being awakened by some drunken laughter.

"Oh, fuck," a familiar voice exclaimed, seeing me sit up.

"Are…why are you sleeping on a bench," Opie questioned as Juice, Jax, and Chibs gathered around.

I slowly sat up, taking in my surroundings, "I guess I fell asleep."

"Why don't you go inside and get some rest," Chibs suggested, "you've had a long couple o' days."

"Yeah, I really don't want to go in there. I was gonna see if I could catch a ride to my dad's place here in Charming," I admitted, not making eye contact.

"Is there even any furniture left there, Jenn? No one has stepped foot in that house in ages," Opie questioned, not liking the idea of me sleeping in a completely empty house.

"There's a couch, at least. Besides, even if there wasn't, it would still beat going in there with Koz," I admitted.

"I'll drop you on the way…I'm heading over to see Tara and she lives a few blocks away from there," Jax offered.

"I'll um, grab my bag," I agreed, turning to head inside.

"You sure that's a good idea," Opie questioned Jax uncertainly.

"Why wouldn't it be? We can't just leave her here. You know how stubborn Jenn is, she'll sleep on the fucking bench if she stays here," Jackson reminded him.

"For one, I know you remember how she and Tara use to fight all the time. Tara finds out and she'll have both of your heads on a platter," Opie responded.

"And do you really think it's smart to leave her in that house alone, Jackie boy," Chibs interjected.

Juice, who had remained silent, finally spoke up, "I'll keep an eye on her."

"I'm sure you will," Jax responded with an undertone of insinuation.

"That's not a bad idea, Jax. Let Juice handle it. Surely he can keep an eye on her for one night," Chibs tried to convince.

"Unless, you're jealous," Opie jabs with a challenging smirk.

"Whatever, man. It's not like that," Jax tried to assure all three brothers.

"So it's settled then. Juicy boy'll take her over to his place," Chibs declared, catching their attention once more.

All three men shot him confused glances at the change of venue.

"Relax. You said the house hasn't been occupied in years. If that's the case, there's no power. Can't leave Juice alone wither her by candlelight and only one couch to sleep on," he reasoned. "Under those circumstances, even I would find it difficult to keep my pants on."

"Yeah, alright," Jax agreed, trying to wipe the image of Jenna and Juice fucking to candlelight from his brain.

"You know, I'm so glad you guys have so much confidence in me. It really means a lot," Juice sarcastically told them, obviously insulted.

"I'll go tell her about the change in plans," Jax laughed, heading inside.

I entered the loud, smoky clubhouse. I had heard the start of Opie's questioning Jax. As I walked through, hoping to avoid being detected, mostly by Kozik, I decided that I wouldn't let Jax jeopardize what, if anything, he had with Tara. I would see if Chibs could drop me at one of the small motels down the street.

I almost managed to avoid detection until I found myself running into Happy, who was leaving the bathroom.

"You heading to bed already," he asked, noticing the early hour.

"I'm having someone drop me at a motel. I can't stay here if Koz is…not right now," I admitted.

"Yeah, I heard about this morning. You alright," he asked, trying not to alter his typically cold demeanor.

"I'll be better after a joint and some sleep," I responded, not sure if that was really true.

"Alright. Well, go get some rest, killer," he responded, playfully clapping me on the back.

"Not funny," I responded, entering the all-too-familiar bedroom.

I stepped inside and looked around for a moment. I smiled to myself when I realized that not much had changed since I had been in this room last. The room still screamed Jax, being messy, convenient, and filled with pictures. There were several photos of Jax with numerous people he considered friends, past and present : Opie, Donna, Tara, and Wendy. I smiled when I saw one of Jackson and myself at a party, both completely baked.

"Hey," Jax greeted from the door with a smile.

"Sorry. I was just looking at your pics. You need one up here of you and Abel," I suggested, reaching down to grab my backpack.

"I do, huh?"

We stood there silently for a moment before he spoke up again.

"So there's been a change of plans. Juice is gonna let you crash at his place," Jax revealed.

"Is that really a good idea? I mean, I don't want Koz getting the wrong impression and it causing problems between Juice and Koz," I admitted worriedly.

"It'll be fine, Jenn," Jax promised.

"Alright," I agreed, too tired to argue.

Jax led the way out of the bedroom and down the hallway. I couldn't help but glance up. Immediately, I caught Kozik's eye. He was obviously drunk. I continued to follow Jax across the room. Angrily, Koz stood up, only to be pushed back into his seat by Lee and Lorca.

Quickly, I looked away and followed Teller outside. Opie had already left and Chibs was smoking a cigarette. I smiled over a 'thank you' to Juice as I put my backpack on my shoulders.

"Alright, you two should probably head out," Jax suggested. "I'm heading out myself."

"You do know Kozik's going to think that you and I left together," I told Jax warningly.

"Good. I'd rather him try going after me than Juice. Juice is doing us all a favor and Koz would try fighting him before me," Jackson revealed.

"I'll let Lee know you're alright," Chibs assured me.

I thanked Chibs with a hug before following Jax and Juice toward the bikes. In moments, Jax was leaving the lot as Juice and I rode out after him.

Ten minutes later, Juice and I pulled into his driveway. I climbed off the back, pulling his helmet off. He set down the kick stand and turned the bike off before turning and accepting his helmet. Silently, I followed Juice to his door. He unlocked the front door and stepped aside to let me in. Juice followed me inside and flipped the switch, illuminating the living room.

I didn't know Juice very well. I had only really known him as the goofy tech guy. I had never imagined him as a neat freak. His living room was immaculate. There wasn't a single speck of dust and it appeared every game, movie, and comic that he owned was organized alphabetically. I turned to face him, suddenly worried that I would set my bag down in the wrong place.

"Thank you for this, Juice. I wouldn't have been able to sleep back there," I admitted.

"Oh, no prob. You can set your bag anywhere," he responded.

"Are you sure? I feel like I just dirtied your house by stepping inside," I admitted with a smile.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm a bit of a neat freak," he apologized unnecessarily.

I laughed, "dude, it's your house. And who apologizes for being tidy? Hell, if more people were even half as clean as you, there would be a lot less messes for me to clean."

He smiled at my response before telling me about the sleeping arrangements.

"You can sleep back in the room. I'll crash on the couch," Juice offered, sitting on the reclining chair next to the black leather couch.

"No. You've already done so much by letting me stay here. I'm crashing on the couch. All I need is some sheets, a blanket, and if you don't mind, a towel," I told him in response.

"Towel," he questioned.

"Yeah. If it's okay. I would love to take a shower. I wasn't able to get one in before Gemma picked me up this morning," I asked hopefully.

"Sure," he told me as he got to his feet and disappeared down the hall. Moments later, he returned with red sheets, a pillow, a small quilt, and a fluffy black towel.

"Thanks," I responded with a friendly smile. "Hey, are you gonna be up for a bit," I questioned.

"Um, I, dunno…maybe. Why," he asked uncertainly.

"I have some pretty awesome weed in my bag. I was wondering if you'd be interested in some smoke," I offered hopefully.

The truth was that I was exhausted. Only, after everything that had happened with Koz, I seriously doubted that I would get any sleep. At least, not without a little help.

"Yeah, sounds good," he responded with a friendly smile of his own as I disappeared down the hallway.

I showered and threw on some pajamas. If I had known that I would be staying at Juice's place, I would have packed more appropriately. Juice was already acting strange around me. My guess was that Jax had told him to keep his pants on and hands off. I returned to the living room in my tank top and shorts. I smiled when I saw Juice in his game chair, playing Call of Duty.

I sat on the couch and pulled out the neatly rolled joint. I noticed Juice's double take, probably not realizing that I'd be so quick.

"I'll turn it off after this round's over," he assured me.

I didn't miss his eyes momentarily lingering on my legs. I watched Juice finish the round. He backed out of the lobby before joining me on the sofa.

"We can watch tv or something," he offered, passing me the lighter he stashed in the drawer of his end table.

"No, let's play," I suggested, lighting the joint.

"You want to play Call of Duty," Juice asked in disbelief as I passed him the joint.

I coughed momentarily before responding, "you think that because I'm a girl, that I can't play?"

He passed the joint back and got up to grab a second controller.

"No, not that. It's just…you're too hott to be good at this game," he blurted out.

I choked on the smoke I had just inhaled. The coughing took me by surprise this time and I found myself stoned pretty quickly.

"Sorry," he apologized, taking the joint I offered.

Once I regained my composure, I questioned him, "Why are you apologizing?"

"I shouldn't say things like that to you. If Koz doesn't kill me, Jax will."

We continued to smoke, quickly finishing the joint before I continued to awkward conversation.

"First off, Koz fucked some croweater and slapped me in the face with her presence. As for Jax…Jax never has and never will get a say in what I do or who I do it with," I assured Juice.

"Both men fucked up…and I'm no one's old lady," I reminded him as we started the game.

As the game loaded, I once again caught Juice looking me over. I smirked and decided that I would take advantage of my effect on him to win the game. Juice had started a round of gun game. I propped my feet up on his coffee table, giving him a better view. He must have glanced over, because he soon found himself dead. He tried to play it off and keep going.

My stoned brain began to wonder if what I was doing was wrong. I was still pissed at Koz. Hell, I was beyond pissed. I was hurt. But I didn't want Juice being caught up between Koz and myself. I was right about the weed, it would help me sleep. I was already feeling tired.

While I was distractedly sorting through my thoughts, Juice got a kill on me. My jaw dropped.

"You're so gonna pay," I promised.

"Probably not," he responded with a laugh.

I caught his attention when I smirked over at him.

"What are you up to," he requested nervously.

I bit my lower lip as I placed my smooth legs across his lap. Anxiously, we continued to battle one another, both on the couch and in the game. I continued to flirt with and tempt Juice, getting in a few good kills. Juice did his best to track me across the map and take me out. While we had other players to deal with, the both of us still managed to one another often.

When the game ended, neither Juice nor myself were the victor. Juice came in second, and I came in third. Juice backed out of the lobby and again found himself lustfully glancing me over.

"Fuck it," Juice declared, before pulling me onto his lap.

"I like the sound of that," I answered with a teasing smirk.

Juice's lips hungrily met mine. Caught up in the moment, my hands wandered up his abdomen, across his chest, and to his shoulders, where I slid of his cut. One hand snaked around my waist, while the other slid up my shirt. I slid my hands back down his chest and abdomen, finding his belt. I began to unclasp his belt buckle, when he quickly reached down and stopped me.

"Woah, hang on," he pulled back form me. "Shit."

"What's wrong," I asked, worried I had done something wrong. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What?! No," he tried to assure me. "It's just…I can't do this to my brother," he admitted.

I slid off of his lap and down the length of the sofa. Embarrassed and suddenly self-conscious, I pulled my legs up to my chest and averted my eyes to the floor.

"Hey," he responded to my sudden withdrawal. "No, trust me…I totally want to. Don't get me wrong. You're freakin' hott, and I would totally fuck you…and…I'm making an ass of myself."

"Look, don't worry about it. I'm just kind of…stupid. I'm horrible at reading people…I do dumb things, like all the time, and I'm pathetically self-conscious," I admitted. "I'm sorry, I never should have," I continued before Juice interrupted.

Juice scooted over toward me. He put his hand on my knee, making the entire experience all the more mortifying.

"Jenn if you weren't like Koz's old lady," Juice started.

I interrupted this time, "woah, no. I'm not Kozik's old lady. Just in case you missed last night and this morning, he very obviously doesn't want me."

"That can't be true. He never would have started things up with you," Juice answered.

I laughed at this.

"If he really cared so much, then he wouldn't have done the one thing he told me he wouldn't do…abandon me," I said before getting up. "I'm gonna step out and have a cigarette. Good night," I told him before grabbing my lighter and cigarettes.

I stepped outside and sat on the single step in front of the door, quickly lighting a cigarette. I was clearly upset. I could never blame Juice for that. He helped me realize why I was feeling so hurt after all. I felt abandoned. First, my dad, then Kozik.

Before I knew it, I had smoked three cigarettes. Still feeling the emptiness, I re-entered Juice's house. I was surprised to see him still sitting on the couch. I felt even worse now. I had obviously been crying, and I didn't want Juice to think it was his fault.

"Do you want to talk," Juice offered.

I shook my head in response.

"Can we just go to sleep? I should probably get some rest or something," I reminded him.

"Alright. I'll let you get some rest. Good night, Jenn," he told me before kissing me on the cheek and leaving me to pass out on the sofa.

The next morning I woke up to someone banging on the front door. I jolted out of my slumber to find Juice rushing to the door in his boxers.

"Dude, what the fuck," Juice questioned as he opened the door.

"Sorry man, just following orders," a familiar voice answered.

"Orders," Juice asked in confusion.

"Yeah, Lee and Jax told me to get Jenn up. I have to get Jenn to the clubhouse," James advised.

"I'm up, James," I answered from the couch.

"What's that," Juice asked James.

"Oh, Jenn's dress. It was in the van," James answered as he handed Juice my dress.

"Can I come in and wait," James requested.

"No. You bang on my door like a damn cop, you wait outside," Juice answered, grabbing the dress and closing the door in James' face.

Juice turned to me and gave me the black dress. It was obviously tense.

"So," I began, forcing myself not to look over his cut physique.

Juice sat beside me.

"I'm really sorry about last night," I began. "Don't think that last night was your fault. For one, I'm having some issues with losing my dad, then this thing with Kozik. And I never should have put you in that situation. I wasn't joking when I said I do dumb things. And, in the least offensive way possible, last night was one of those dumb things."

Juice was smiling at me now. I was surprised by this.

"I definitely shouldn't be doing this," Juice told me, catching me off guard.

"Doing what," I asked in confusion.

Juice leaned over and kissed me. I liked the feel of his lips on mine. I had convinced myself last night that I only kissed Juice because I was lonely, hurt, and stoned. But now I found myself melting at his touch.

I couldn't help myself. I moaned into the kiss, feeling his hands gently cupping my face. I could feel him smirking momentarily at my reaction. Once I remembered what today was, I gently ended the kiss.

"I should go get ready," I told him sheepishly.

He smirked over at me, forcing me to blush.

"What," I questioned, unable to look away from him.

"Nothing. Just, uh, if you ever come back to Charming and you and Herman are definitely done…you know where to find me," he told me confidently.

I smiled at him as I got up and headed toward the bathroom.

"By the way," he added, stopping me just before I made it to the hallway. "If things don't workout with Koz, it's because he's and idiot. Trust me, I know one when I see one," he added jokingly.

Twenty minutes later, I was ready and exiting the bathroom. Juice was still sitting on the couch. He smiled when he saw me entering the living room.

"I'll see you at the clubhouse," I told him as I grabbed my bag and headed out the door.

I joined James in the van, not missing his suspicious stare.

"Jenn, you didn't," James began to question.

"No," I answered. "I did not sleep with him, James."

"Okay. You just seem in a better mood today than you were yesterday. I just thought maybe you…you know," James observed as we pulled out of the driveway.

"We smoked some weed and played Call of Duty. I guess shooting things makes me feel better," I cracked, poking fun at myself.

The rest of the day was much less upsetting than I thought it would be. My father's coffin sat on display while we all took turns sharing stories about him. Each story was followed by a shot of Single Barrel Jack, my dad's favorite drink.

Needless to say, everyone was drunk by the end of the day. Oddly enough, exactly how my dad would have wanted it…his family sharing stories, both good and bad, and having a good time while remembering.


	14. 014 Albification

*** Thank you for all of the reads and reviews! I hope you enjoy! I only own my own OC's. ***

Everyone was loading up to leave. James was standing beside the van across the cemetery, keeping a watchful eye on me. I was leaning against the father's newly made headstone. I began to cry when I realized how much I missed him. I missed having someone to talk to.

"I've really screwed things up, dad. I know you'd probably give me some philosophically epic speech, but the truth is…I'm a fuck up. I always have been. When I think back on it, I can't remember something I didn't fuck up. I wish you were here, dad. At least then, I would have someone to keep me level. God, I'm selfish. Here you give your life to ensure that I have one…and I'm wishing to have you back to make me feel better. I dunno what to do…or where I belong. Koz hates me. Charming, however, has gone out of it's way to take care of me. You'll never believe this one, dad. Tara and I actually sat in a room together, twice now, and not so much as a hint of a catty word from either of us," I laughed as the tears continued to streak down my face.

The roar of motorcycle engines caught my attention. I saw several bikes pull up next to the van. Dutifully, James continued to watch me.

"Well, it looks like I have to go, dad. I'll come back, I promise. I love you…and thank you…for everything," I told him, wiping away the tears before heading back toward the van.

Jax was talking to James as I continued to approach.

"Time to go," I asked as I stood with them now.

"Yeah," James answered.

"We came to say bye," Jax admitted.

"I thought we were leaving from the clubhouse," I admitted.

"Change of plans. We're following you two until you meet up with Lee and the guys," Jackson admitted.

"Oh," I responded, wondering why the plan was suddenly changed.

Jax pulled me in for a hug, saying his good bye as he did so.

"Always know, if things don't work out in Tacoma, you're always welcome back here," he reminded me. "Be good…stay safe," he added in before letting me go.

"Now, Jackson, you know that neither are ever very likely," I reminded him in turn.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Tara said to tell you she'd call you tomorrow about that info," he relayed.

"Thanks. And tell Tara and Gemma both that I appreciate everything…they've been a huge help," I requested.

"You gonna hog her all day, Jackie boy," Chibs interrupted, coming over and pulling me in for a big hug.

"Take care, lass. And don't stay away so long this time. We miss you," Chibs told me, causing me to tear up again.

"I miss you too, Chibs," I choked out.

I suddenly felt like Dorothy toward the end of the Wizard of Oz, where she says goodbye to all of her Oz companions.

Opie hugged me next, "Be good, Wild Child. Take care, and don't be a stranger."

"Hey, you do the same," I told him in return. "You have my number, keep in touch."

As soon as Ope let go, Tig pulled me against him. I was surprised that he had come to see me off. Tig and I weren't all that close. The only real closeness we shared was our recent conversation about my failed relationship with his former best friend, Koz.

"Give it some time, he'll come around. And if he doesn't, he's an idiot," Tig advised before adding, "stay beautiful, doll."

Juice was next, smiling over at me. I was sure his smile would give our make out sessions away. He looked at me with a combination of his fondness for me and something I never saw in Juice…confidence. I smiled, approaching him and quickly wrapping my arms around him.

"That grin is going to give us both away," I whispered. "But I like it, so don't' stop."

"Call or text…if you ever need anything, I'm here," Juice offered, hugging me back.

Last in line was Happy, which really threw me off.

"You're not coming back to Tacoma," I asked, obviously bothered by the thought.

"No. I, uh, I voted out of Tacoma…last night," Happy revealed, gesturing toward his chest, which now donned a new patch. The new patch read Nomad.

"You're not leaving because of this whole thing with me, are you," I asked, hoping my vengeance hadn't forced him out of Tacoma.

"No," he answered with a laugh. "I just need to be available for a while. Mom's not doing so good. And Clay and these guys need me around for a while. It just seemed like the right time to make the move," he admitted.

Disliking the idea of returning to Tacoma even more now, I sniffled as I hugged him tightly. Slowly he wrapped his arms around me, returning the gesture. I couldn't explain why, but this hug felt different. Maybe because it was more like a goodbye than any previous farewell I shared with Hap.

Before releasing me, he whispered a private goodbye.

"Take care of yourself, Jenn. I know you, and I know your reactions. Do not let this take you down. And you better keep in touch with me," he told me, both firm and friendly.

"Don't forget, that phone goes both ways," I responded with a smile.

"Jenna, we have to go," James interrupted.

Part of me wanted to stay with the guys. Most of SAMCRO had shown up to say bye to me. If things were turned around and I was leaving Tacoma to go to Charming, would SAMTAC be just as thoughtful? Before I could convince myself to stay, I forced myself to get in the passenger seat of the van. James took his spot in the driver seat while the rest of the guys got on their bikes.

I couldn't help but watch them in the side mirror. I had always been known for my poor decision making. Was this another bad decision? Should I really be going back to Tacoma, where I felt like I was being exiled? I knew most of the guys would side with Kozik, they were his brothers. But even James didn't speak to me unless he had to.

My head thudded against the passenger window as I watched the Charming crew and Happy turn off and we joined the Tacoma charter. Instinctively, my eyes searched for Koz. I found him in his typical spot and immediately regretted my search. I missed him. I missed being able to inhale his wonderful scent. I missed the comfort and warmth of being in his arms. But this was me. My dad and I left Charming for two reasons. One, dad could no longer tolerate running under Clay. And two, I was getting entirely too out of control in Charming. I drank entirely too much. My sexual endeavors with Jax had become more frequent. That wouldn't necessarily be a big deal if Jackson wasn't already married to Wendy. I also beat the crap out of the other blonde Jax seemed to favor, Ima. When Luann confronted Jax and my dad about the incident, dad decided it was time for me to leave Charming. I wondered if Ima was still in Charming.

I couldn't help but randomly glance at Koz. Maybe Tig was right. Maybe things would work themselves out with Koz. He still hadn't spoken to me. I would give him time, like Tig suggested. And if I found myself waiting for nothing, then I would move on. It was settled. That's how I would handle my situation with Herman. I wasn't sure how to deal with the rest of the guys though. I'd have to think more on it.

"Jenna," James finally spoke to me. "We're here," he added before heading inside.

I sighed as I got out of the van. Getting back in good with the guys would be a lot harder than I thought it would be. I grabbed my bag and walked in the opposite direction, entering my office rather than going into the clubhouse. I put my bag in one of the empty chairs that were usually reserved for customers. I went over to the small radio and turned it on. Once I found a station that I could deal with, I took a seat in my chair and started working. After about an hour, I pulled up all of the repos and printed them out.

It was then that I realized that I would have to speak to whoever I gave them to. An internal struggle began. Speak to someone who was ignoring me, or risk losing business. I knew I couldn't let this cost me financially. I took a deep breath and walked over to the clubhouse. I realized during my walk, that it was actually pretty cold outside. Internally panicking, I entered the clubhouse in search of Lee. I found him getting ready to head back out into the garage.

"I, um, have some repos that need to be taken care of," I told him, handing him the stack of papers.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Jenn," Lee surprised me.

"Yeah," I nodded uneasily, following him into my father's old office.

"Drink," Lee offered, pouring a glass of scotch.

I nodded, worried what kind of conversation could pull out the good scotch. He poured a second glass before sliding it over to me. I took a sip as Lee capped the bottle.

"Jenn, we need to talk about all this…tension," Lee told me.

"Yeah. Look, I get that everyone's mad at me. It's going to take some time. But until then, I'm steering clear. I'll bring any garage business directly to you. I'll stay out of the way, Lee," I assured him, trying to hide how much my shunning was actually affecting me.

Lee smiled, "Jenn, you don't need to do that. Not everyone is pissed at you, you know. Me, for one. Don't get me wrong, I was pissed at first. But I talked to Happy and Jax about it while we were in Charming. I understand it. And Hap assured me nothing would blow back on the MC."

"You're really not mad at me," I asked, confused.

"No. And neither is Lorca," he offered. "He understands. He's actually kind of pissed at Koz for the incident in Charming," Lee added.

I took another sip before continuing the conversation, "I get why most of the guys are mad. I kind of get why Koz is mad. I don't understand why James is mad though. He saw me at my worst, right after I got back here. I thought he, of all people, would understand."

"Yeah, about that…James isn't mad about what you think he's mad about. He, uh, he's convinced that something happened back in Charming, with you and Juice," Lee admitted.

"What? I told him nothing happened. We smoked some bud and played Call of Duty," I told Lee, visibly bothered by the accusation.

"He believed you until he saw you and Juice interacting at your father's wake," Lee explained. "He told me about it right after we got back. He also mentioned a suspicious goodbye," Lee laughed.

"He only told you," I questioned, worried about how Kozik would react if he suspected that anything happened between me and Juice.

"Did something happen," Lee questioned, obviously wondering about my concern for who James may have confided in.

"No. I just really don't need Kozik even more pissed at me. I can obviously do that all on my own. Besides, he's already got this idea that something happened with me and Happy," I responded.

"I told James that whether his suspicions were true or not, he shouldn't be telling anyone, especially Kozik, about it. There's no proof, for one. And two, what's going on between you and Herman should stay that way," Lee revealed.

"Thanks, Lee," I appreciated.

I finished the scotch in my glass before getting to my feet.

"I should grab my stuff and head home," I thought out loud.

"Alright, Jenn. We'll be able to get one of these in today. I'll have the guys get on the rest tomorrow," he assured me.

"Thanks. 'Night, Lee," I said before leaving the office.

I headed down the hall and into my room. Quickly, I grabbed the few items I needed and scurried out of the clubhouse. I went back into my office and grabbed my bag. With the exhaustion finally setting in, I carried my bag to my car. Curiously, I glanced over at the garage. I was surprised to see Koz watching me. He was leaning against one of the outer walls, smoking, probably taking a break. I was even more surprised when he didn't look away. I didn't take my eyes off him as I unlocked the car door.

I quickly found myself hurt and enraged when one of the local biker whores emerged from the clubhouse. She handed Koz a beer and he quickly turned his attention to her. Typically, I would have gone over and tossed the bitch out by her cheap extensions. But I decided it wasn't worth the fight that would likely occur with Herman.

Instead, I miserably put my bag in the backseat. I knew Herman was watching me again. I could feel his stare. Rather than return my attention to him, I got in my car. I started the car and lit a cigarette. I smoked while I waited for the car to warm up. To keep me distracted, I flipped through the fair-sized cd book and pulled something that would help my suddenly somber mood. The Best of The Doors started up and 'People Are Strange' filled the car.

When I made it home, I grabbed a wine glass, a bottle of wine, my speaker, and my IPOD. I threw some lavender bath salts and bubble bath into the tub and set my music, wine, and phone up while I waited for the hot water to fill the tub. In a matter of minutes, I found myself soaking in the lavender water, sipping on wine, and enjoying the musical stylings of various artists from the fifties all the way to today.

When I emptied the last of the bottle into the wine glass, I noticed the notification light on my phone. I grabbed the phone and looked to see who was messaging me at this hour. I was a bit surprised to see Happy's name on my screen.

"You make it home alright," he asked me.

"I wasn't kidnapped this time, if that's what you mean," I responded.

I could imagine his disapproving expression now, as I read his response.

"Not funny," he told me.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just having a rough night," I admitted.

"Everything okay," he questioned, likely concerned.

"Just Koz being an ass. He was letting some slut all over him while he knew I was right there," I explained.

"Sorry you're having to deal with shit like that. Koz is being a pretty big ass about all this. Just hang in there," Happy advised.

"I'm trying. I'm starting to wish I had never come back," I admitted.

"I know you, Jenn. You'd regret not at least trying to see if there was anything at all left for you in Tacoma," he reminded me.

"Yeah, so far that's only gotten me drunk off of some wine while lounging in a lavender scented bubble bath. I'm really doubting there's anything left for me in Tacoma," I told him.

"Wow, you can't send something like that to a guy and not expect him to get a visual," Happy joked.

I was drunk, but not completely oblivious. It took me by surprise that Happy would admit to imagining me naked. Maybe Herman was right. Maybe there was something more with Happy and me. That couldn't be right, though. Hap had always been a good, close friend. Besides, Happy could only be attracted to the idea of a physical relationship with me. Happy didn't do relationships. He always said they brought on too much baggage. I could see his point, now that I thought about it. We had always been flirty as well as smart-assed to each other, but that's how I was all the time. I thought it over and decided that Koz was just paranoid. I didn't feel like anything had changed between Happy and myself. And it wouldn't. I was in Tacoma. He was in Charming. I refused to ruin my friendship with Happy because Koz was being jealous and paranoid, especially if the ass wasn't even talking to me. I decided to send my response, regardless of how flirtatious it was.

"Oh yeah, super sexy…drunk, naked, and lonely. Self-pity must be the new black," I responded with a laugh to myself.

"You beat yourself up too much, you know that," he chastised.

"Well, everyone has to have a nemesis. It just so happens, mine is myself," I sent back.

"I know you're back in Washington to see if things with Koz pan out. But if you get tired of his shit, come back to Charming, Jenn. Everyone really enjoyed having you back here," Happy told me.

"I miss you, Hap. You always know how to pull me out of my pit of self-loathing," I told him before getting out of the now cold water.

"I miss you too, Jenn. And quit stumbling into that pit. You're too pretty to be hidden away in a dark hole. Now get some rest. You have work to catch up on," he instructed.

Smiling, I drunkenly cleaned up the bathroom and grabbed a sheet and blanket from the hall closet. I couldn't sleep in my bed. Not in the bed Koz and I had been sharing. The bed would smell like his cologne and that would get me thinking about him and the girl at the clubhouse.

I tried to sleep on the couch, but found that no matter how drunk I was, I couldn't sleep on the leather, with or without a sheet. Agitated, I trudged to the guest room. Why I hadn't thought of there to begin with made me feel kind of stupid. I quickly dismissed it as being intoxicated. I climbed into the bed and pulled the blankets around myself.

As I drifted off to sleep, I mentally noted that these blankets did not smell like my fabric softener. They smelled like cologne. It wasn't Kozik's brand. This one was different. I wondered why my guest bedding would smell like cologne. The scent was familiar and strangely comforting. Then it hit me. I didn't get a chance to change the bedding before I left for the cabin. This cologne was familiar because it was from the last person who slept in this bed…Happy.

I woke up the next morning to a blaring alarm clock. I quickly moved to shut it off and immediately regretted the bottle of wine. Groggily, I got up and took some ibuprofen before hopping in the shower. I threw on a long, dark blue sweater, some black tights, and a pair of black boots, then headed off to Tacoma Motors.

A couple of guys were already working in the garage. I could see Lee talking with James as they got into one of the tow trucks. Lee waved as they approached in the truck, prompting me to wave in return.

I sat in the office, working once again to get caught up. I never thought being gone for four days would get me so behind. Instead of complaining, I welcomed the distraction of work. I ended up so distracted, that I found myself startled when my cell rang. I grabbed the phone and looked to see that a number I didn't recognize was calling me.

"Hello," I answered, unsurely.

"Hey, Jenna. It's Tara. Is now a good time? You sound busy," she questioned, uncertainly.

"Oh, no, just catching up on some work and dealing with a hangover," I admitted with a laugh.

"Things still rough with you and Herman," Tara asked, sounding sympathetic.

"He's still being an ass. And I'm still waiting for him to come to his senses," I answered.

"Sorry to hear that. I, um, I know you and I haven't, well, ever seen eye to eye, but if you ever need another woman to talk to, you can always give me a call," she offered.

"Thanks, Tara. And, uh, you ever need any tips on bashing in a porn star's face, you now have my number," I laughed.

"I may take you up on that. There's this little blonde bitch that just insists on getting under my skin," Tara revealed.

"Ima," I questioned knowingly.

"That's the one," Tara answered. "How did you know?"

"Who's face do you think I bashed in," I told her with a smile.

"Oh, right, I called for a reason," Tara reminded both of us.

"Oh, right," I responded, now nervous about what I was getting ready to hear.

"The pregnancy test came back negative. And your blood and urine tests all look good. Internally, you're perfectly fine. How are you feeling physically," Tara asked.

"I feel much better. I'm still a little sore, but it's mostly the marks on my back," I admitted.

"Well, whoever doctored you up did a good job. The welts will still be sore, but they should otherwise be fine. Does the bruising seem to be clearing up," she asked.

"Well, the bruising on my face is better. My wrist is still bothering me, and the rest of the bruising seems to be feeling better," I responded.

"Good. I would suggest getting some kind of brace for your wrist. It's not broken, but it could be a sprain. Sorry I wasn't able to get you into x-ray before you had to head out," Tara told me.

"I can get the brace when I leave here. And don't worry about the x-ray. You've done more than enough. Can you do one more thing for me," I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, what's up," she asked curiously.

"Can you tell Jax everything is cool? I really don't want to send a mass text to Charming. He'll let the guys and Gemma know," I requested, hoping the request was something that would cause problems between me and the doctor.

"Yeah, sure. In fact, Gemma and Jax are picking up Abel today. He goes home. I'll tell them then," she agreed.

"Thank you so much. Oh, and kiss the baby for me," I asked.

"Will do. I'll, uh, let you get back to catching up. And, maybe talk to Kozik…surely you two can talk this out," she told me.

"Alright. Later, Tara," I said as we hung up.


	15. 015 Small Tears

*** Sorry for the late update, having computer issues. Will update again ASAP! I only own my own OC's. ***

I was ecstatic to finally receive some good news. I wanted to share it, but I quickly realized that I had no one here to share with. The chapter on the incident was finally coming to an end, and I had no one to celebrate with. I grabbed a cigarette and stood in the doorway. Leaning against the door frame, I looked across the lot and searched for a particular Son. I lit my cigarette as I surveyed the area. I didn't see Lorca anywhere. He was either inside, or off the property. I wasn't willing to risk contact with Koz just yet, so I decided I'd text him and ask him to come by. My heart stopped when I saw Kozik glance up and look me over. Still angry and upset with him, I took my cigarette inside and returned to my desk.

I pulled out my phone and pulled up Lorca's number, opting to send him a text.

"Hey, next time you're at the clubhouse, can you stop by my office? I want to talk to you about something," I asked hopefully.

It wasn't long before he responded, "sure thing. I took Lee's place with James, picking up repos. Be done around five."

"Thanks. See you then, Lorc," I appreciated.

While I was glad Lorca would stop by later, I was a little sad when I thought about how lonely I had quickly become. Then I remembered that there was someone that would want to hear my good news directly from me, rather than second hand from Jax. Happy could very well get onto me if I didn't keep him in the loop. I pulled out my phone again, this time texting Happy.

"I finally got some good news," I revealed, waiting for his response.

"Oh yeah? What news," he questioned after several minutes.

"Got my test results back…all negative," I answered, ending the text with a smiley face.

"Always good to hear! Hopefully that will ease some of your stress," he commented hopefully.

"Lol, nope. Still not getting laid," I answered, referencing Koz's refusal to even speak to me.

"I keep telling you to return to Charming. Trust me, you'd have no problems getting laid here," he teased.

"Wtf? Does everyone know about Juice," I requested worriedly.

"Juice? You fucked Juice," Happy all but demanded.

"No! Shit, I'm dumb and I totally misread," I responded, before quickly adding a follow up.

"Please don't do anything to Juice, or say anything to anyone! I got stoned and kissed him, that's all. He did the right thing and told me that he couldn't do that to a brother," I explained.

There was a long pause prior to his response. The pause made me very nervous. All I could think about was Happy confronting Juice. I could only theorize how that would turn out, and there wasn't a good ending to any scenario that played out in my head. My heart quickly throbbed when I saw not one, but two messages from Happy.

The first one read, "that's why the little shit wore that smug grin."

The second message read as follows, "I see how it is. He let's you sleep on his couch, and he gets a kiss. I helped you with your disposal problem, and nothing," he teased with a wink at the end of the message.

His blunt and provocative comment had my cheeks burning red. Happy and I had always been flirty, like I was with most of my guy friends. But I noticed that he was becoming much more forward with each flirtatious gesture.

"Well, if you had come back to Tacoma, maybe you'd be collecting that debt tonight," I teased in return with a wink of my own.

"Don't tempt me, I can always ride to Tacoma," he reminded me.

"I'd be passed out by the time you got here, sweetie," I reminded him.

"Oh, you'd wake up for me, sex or not. You can't deny that," he challenged.

"Probably, lol," I answered.

I saw Lorca approaching my office, so I quickly told Happy that I'd have to chat with him later because I had made arrangements to catch up with Lorca.

"Hey, Jenn," Lorca greeted, pulling me in for a hug.

"Everything alright," he asked, unsure of the mood of my earlier text.

"Yeah, I got some good news earlier and I wanted to share it with you," I admitted, leaving out the part about how he was one of the only people around who currently didn't hate me.

"Good news? You talked to Koz," he guessed.

"No. He's still glaring at me and parading his cheap pussy around," I responded before quickly changing the subject.

"Oh, sorry," Lorca stammered before I interrupted.

"I don't care about that right now. Look, when I was in Charming, I went and saw a doctor. She called me today with the results. Everything came back negative," I told him in rare excited form.

"Awesome, finally some good news, Jenn," Lorca agreed with my earlier thoughts.

"I do have to ask you something though," Lorca revealed.

"What's up," I asked curiously.

"Are you gonna tell Koz," Lorca asked.

As if offended by the thought, I got up and went outside. I leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette. It wasn't long at all before Lorca joined me.

"He'd wanna know, Jenn," he tried to reason.

"I don't care," I angrily decided. "If he really gave a fuck, he'd fucking talk to me for starters," I added.

"He cares, Jenn. He's just angry, hurt, and confused," Lorca tried to explain.

"It doesn't make it right, Lorca. As far as I'm concerned, he's waiting for me to drop dead," I retorted.

"Look, I have to head home. My old lady's waiting on me with the kids. Just…think about it, alright," Lorca took one last shot at reasoning with me.

I watched Lorca walk to his bike. As I did so, I felt someone watching me. I looked over to the patio to see Herman watching me as he smoked a cigarette. I decided maybe I should tell him. His response would give me a good indicator regarding whether was left between Koz and myself.

Taking a deep breath, I threw caution to the wind and headed toward the patio as Lorca rode off. I knew he saw me, because he made eye contact. Then my heart felt like it was being shoved through a shredder. Kozik looked right at me before putting his half-smoked cigarette out and heading inside the clubhouse. I felt suddenly nauseous.

Visibly upset, I returned to my office and grabbed my stuff before heading home for the night.

The following day, Bowie and Donut finished up the repo list for the week. The Prospect cleaned the clubhouse, while Lee ensured James worked toward Jenna's standard of cleanliness. That left Kozik and Lorca taking care of the garage while Jenna continued to handle the office work.

"Can I ask you something, bro," Lorca requested.

"Not if it's about Jenna," Koz responded.

"Seriously, man? When are you gonna let this shit go? You're obviously in love with her," Lorca challenged.

Herman ignored the remark.

"I wish you could only see her, bro. This shit is tearing her up," Lorca advised.

Kozik continued to pretend he wasn't listening.

"You should have seen her yesterday. She was so damned excited just to tell me about her doctor's visit. I don't think she feels like she belongs here without her dad or you, Koz," Lorca admitted.

"Doctor's visit," Herman questioned, finally admitting that he had, in fact, been listening all along.

"Yeah, she went to see Jax's girl while we were all in Charming. She got the results back yesterday. All good news, man," Lorca revealed, hoping he was pushing Koz toward reconciliation with Jenna.

Lorca found himself surprised when he heard the clang of metal on cement as Kozik's tools fell to the floor. Lorca turned and watched as Herman entered the clubhouse.

Koz sat at the bar and looked around for someone who could grab him a beer.

"James," he called over.

James dropped the mop and grabbed two beers from behind the bar. He handed one to Kozik before opening one fore himself.

"Thanks, man," Kozik appreciated.

"No prob," James responded before deciding he was in fact curious enough to find out what exactly was on Herman's mind.

"Everything alright," the Prospect questioned with both curiosity and concern.

"No," Koz admitted, finishing the beer quickly.

He motioned for James to hand him another, to which James complied.

"You wanna talk about it," James asked.

"Why the hell not? Everyone else is," Herman answered.

"Oh. This is about you and Jenn," James asked.

Koz laughed as he opened his beer.

"You know, I loved her. Hell, I was even gonna ask her to marry me once things settled down around here," Kozik admitted.

"Loved, or love," James questioned.

"That's the thing, bro…I dunno anymore. Fuck, I don't even recognize her anymore. You know, back in Charming, Jax filled me in on some of Jenn's history. He and Ope grew up with her. They said she was like some wild chick or something…party hard, brawling, insanely intense. I dunno, man, but that's not the Jenn I know. That's not the girl I fell in love with. That's definitely not the girl I left here under Happy's watch. She spends twenty four hours with Hap, and suddenly she's this version of Jenna that Jax and Opie remember so fondly," Kozik rants.

"I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't do. I'm also not saying you're right or wrong. But I was always lead to believe that if you love someone, you have to love all of that person. The good and the bad is what makes them who they are. So maybe take some time to consider whether you can accept your Jenna and Charming Jenna," James wisely advised.

"You're pretty smart…for a Prospect," Kozik responded.

"Look, maybe you should talk to her. I mean, it's a start, right? You and Jenn literally haven't spoken since just after she got to Charming. Ignoring and avoiding each other is an awesome way to have one of those 'what if' moments you'll wonder about later," James suggested.

"Alright, I'll talk to her. I just hope she'll listen," Herman agreed.

After Koz finished working on the car he had been previously working with, he washed up. He took his time, procrastinating. He wasn't sure that he was ready to speak to Jenna yet. And he definitely wasn't one hundred percent positive that he would be able to keep his temper in check. He found himself wondering if Jenn would have the same problem.

Uneasily, he headed across the now quiet lot. He knew Jenna was still in the office. Since their return from Charming, she had routinely hit out in the familiar safety of her office. He knew she was avoiding him, as well as most of the Tacoma charter. Admittedly, he was avoiding her as well. He knew he was being a dick. Being drunk made it easier. Not that that was a good thing. He missed Jenn, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on between her and Hap. That and the sudden change in her, bothered him. He couldn't explain it, but he knew something was up.

When Koz made it to the office, he knocked, even with the door wide open. Without looking up to see who was there, she told him to come in.

I looked up and found myself shocked to see Koz standing in the doorway. I couldn't control the pained expression that appeared when I saw him. I was afraid to speak first, knowing I would likely fuck things up with some snide comment about him fucking around with the girl I overheard one of the guys mentioned resembled me.

Kozik chose to speak first. I was relieved. He would set the mood for the entire conversation rather than me.

"Can I talk to you," he asked, obviously uncomfortable.

"Yeah," I nodded, gesturing for him to occupy one of the empty seats.

Herman uncertainly sat across from me.

"Lorca told me. About your results, I mean," he started.

"I should have known he would. Lorca has always been the one to try and fix things. I guess he thought it would help," I responded.

"So, it's true," Herman questioned.

"Yeah. I'm…fine," I answered, knowing that I would be lying if I said I was in any beter condition.

"Can I ask you something, Jenn," he requested, obviously bothered by something.

"Sure," I responded, wondering where he was going with this.

"Were you going to tell me," Kozik asked.

"Eventually," I admitted. "I guess I wasn't exactly sure when a good time would be.

"What do you mean, a good time," he demanded.

"Last night, for example. I tried to approach you. You bailed and hid out in the clubhouse…the one place you knew I wouldn't go," I answered, calling him out.

"You know, you're one to talk, Jenn," he responded, showing some frustration now.

"What the hell does that mean," I demanded this time.

"You hid behind Happy. Then you hid out at Juice's place. Yeah, I know you weren't at a motel, Jenn. Now you hide in this office," Kozik retorted. "If anyone's an expert at hiding, it's you."

"Why'd you come over here anyway? You could have easily just left a hatefully accusing voicemail or text message," I challenged.

"I came here to make sure you were alright, Jenn," he told me, the conversation quickly becoming more heated with each exchange.

"Why? Since when do you give a fuck? You don't speak to me, you throw your disgusting free pussy in my face, and you go out of your way to avoid me. So tell me, Koz, where in your busy schedule do you find the time to give a flying fuck about me," I demanded angrily as tears of both pain and fury dripped down my cheeks.

"I'm not dealing with your shit, Jenn. Take your damn pity party somewhere else. Obviously, this was a mistake," Koz told me spitefully.

That was the final blow. Koz just delivered the knockout punch. I felt myself suddenly pale and my stomach quiver with nausea. It felt like someone was squeezing my heart, trying to ensure it exploded in their hand. My jaw dropped.

"Mistake," I managed to get out before swiftly snatching my purse and running out the door.

I heard Herman calling after me, but I refused to stop. The pounding in my ears grew louder, soon drowning out his voice.

Before I knew it, I was driving out of the lot with Kozik in my rearview mirror. I could see that our commotion must have been loud enough to bring out everyone in the clubhouse. I could see Koz angrily shove past several people as he headed inside.


	16. 016 Fix

*** Warning : adult situation in this chapter. I only own my own OC's. ***

I called in over the next couple of days, asking Lee if he could handle some of the office work while I was out. He tried to convince me to come in, but finally realized that he was fighting a losing battle. I sat at home for two days. I played Call of Duty, a lot. I smoked a lot of weed. I wore the same pajamas for the entirety of my game play. I heard my cell go off for what had to be the hundredth time that day.

I had been ignoring all calls and messages. After one final round of Capture the Flag, I put on Pineapple Express and decided to see who was blowing up my phone.

There were several calls from Lorca, as well as a couple of text messages. The majority of calls and texts came from Charming. I saw Chibs, Tig, Jax, Gemma, Opie, and even Juice had tried contacting me. Lee must have told them what happened. I only had one voicemail though.

The voicemail was from the most recent call. I was honestly afraid to listen to the voicemail. I sighed and decided that I should just get it over with.

"Jenn, you need to call me back. I'm fucking serious! If I don't hear from you in the next hour, I'm coming over there. Call me back! Everyone is freaking out and I need to know that you're okay," Happy reprimanded.

Guiltily, I grabbed a cigarette and called him back. He answered almost immediately.

"Jenn! Are you alright," Happy questioned immediately.

"I'm fine, Hap. Sorry I worried everyone," I apologized, obviously not myself.

"What the fuck have you been doing, Jenn," he asked with clear concern.

"You're only going to get mad when I tell you," I told him.

"I'll get mad if you don't," he reminded me.

"I've been sitting at home, smoking and playing Call of Duty," I admitted.

"And you couldn't answer the many phone calls and texts you received," he challenged.

Part of me wished I hadn't called him back. But then the thought of this conversation being face to face quickly caused me to change my mind.

"Look, I'm sorry, Hap. You can tell everyone I'm okay. I just…needed to get away," I admitted, crying now that I was sober enough to remember my exhaustion and the horrible conversation with Koz.

"Jenn, what happened," he asked, sounding much less angry now.

"Herman came by my office. Lorca told him about my results. Koz asked if I was planning to tell him. From there we basically called each other out on everything. Then he told me that we were a mistake," I revealed.

After a short moment of silence, Happy responded, "I'm sorry, Jenn. That's…fucked up. He can't really believe that."

"It doesn't matter. He was obviously right," I told Happy.

"So shooting things on your game made you feel better," he teased with a laugh.

I smiled at his attempt to get me to laugh.

"Well, it was either that, or go on a shooting spree. This was easier to do in my pajamas," I responded.

"So, Hap, I've been thinking about what you said before…about coming back to Charming," I admitted.

"Oh yeah," he questioned.

"Yeah. I think it's pretty obvious that there's nothing left for me in Tacoma," I told him, lighting another cigarette.

"When are you thinking about coming down," he asked me.

"I'll have to get back to you on that. I have to make sure Tacoma Motors is left in good hands," I reminded him.

"Well, you sound exhausted. I'm gonna let you go so you can get some rest. Go get some sleep, hon. And let me know if you need anything," Happy decided, likely hearing the exhaustion in my every word.

"Alright. Good night, Hap," I responded, starting to fall asleep on the couch.

"Good night, Jenn," he finished before hanging up.

The next morning, I woke up and quickly showered. I convinced myself to put on a dress and do my hair and make up. By the time I had finished, my phone was flashing, indicating a message. I grabbed the phone to see that I had received a text from Juice.

"Glad to hear you're okay. Everyone here was freaking out," he told me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry I worried everyone," I apologized as I grabbed my purse and keys.

By the time I made it to the garage, Juice had responded.

"Hap was gonna ride up there last night, but I guess his angry voicemail got your attention," Juice sent.

"It's usually in anyone's best interest to ensure Happy isn't pissed at you," I reminded Juice.

"I thought of you yesterday," I admitted.

"Oh yeah," he asked with intrigue.

I put my phone down when I heard a knock on my office door.

"Come in," I answered, not super surprised to see Lee entering.

"You doing alright, Jenn," he requested.

"Yeah, I told him. "I need to think on it more, but I may need to talk with you before I head home today."

"Alright. There's a party tonight, so I'll be inside for a while," he advised.

"I'll come find you," I agreed.

"I was hoping you'd stop by for a bit anyway," Lee admitted.

"I don't know if that's really a good idea," I retorted, thinking only more drama could come from it.

"Jenn, I want you there. I was gonna wait until tonight to tell everyone, so keep this quiet for now. But, uh, I asked Kelly to marry me," Lee revealed, causing my jaw to drop.

"Oh my…wow…congratulations," I told him with a smile as I got to my feet and went around the desk.

I pulled Lee in for a hug before stepping back and awaiting his response.

"Thanks. I, uh, I know it's really fast, so a lot of people are probably not going to be as approving of it as you seem to be," Lee commented.

"They can fuck off. Look, do you love her?"

"Yeah, I do," he admitted.

"That's what matters. Don't worry about the cynical opinion," I advised.

"Kell's gonna make a real good old lady, I can tell," I told him with a smile.

"Look, I know you won't be comfortable in the clubhouse tonight, so if you really don't want to go, I understand," Lee told me. "I just wanted you to know.

"Hell, I wish you had told me sooner. I could have put together an engagement party," I told him.

He looked skeptical, likely considering my current relationship circumstances.

"Distractions are always good," I assured him. "Oh, and I'll talk to you tomorrow rather than tonight. I should probably sleep on it anyway."

"You sure you're alright, Jenn," he requested, guessing I was up to something.

"Yeah. Shit happens. Sometimes you just have to wade through it," I responded with a kind smile.

"What's going on, Jenn," Lee questioned suspiciously. "The other day you tore out of here looking shell shocked, now you're perfectly fine. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see that you're better, it's just…not like you to be so damned reasonable."

"Yeah, well, things change. I spent the last couple of days stoned off my ass, playing COD. Between that and some talk with friends, I think I realized that maybe Kozik was right."

"Right? Right about what," he pressed further.

"What? He didn't tell you?"

"No. He hasn't really spoken much since your last confrontation," Lee admitted.

"It told me this was a mistake. At first, it tore me up. But maybe he was right. Maybe we weren't ever supposed to happen," I reasoned.

"Neither of you can really believe that shit, Jenn. You're both just being idiots about the whole thing, no offense," he commented.

"Maybe. But I'd rather be an idiot who isn't wasting her time wallowing over a man who's only goal seems to be to get drunk and get some skank pussy. I'm done waiting for him to be reasonable. I've done what I've done, and for my reasons. If he can't accept that, or who I am, he can keep his current, pathetic game plan," I told Lee firmly. "I'm done playing the damsel, Lee. And you can tell him if he ever asks about me."

"Why wouldn't he just come see how you're doing himself, It's not like you're far," Lee asked, confused.

"I'm considering going back to Charming, actually. SAMCRO's been good to me. And there are actually people there who seem to want me around," I admitted.

"What about the garage and the clubhouse, Jenn. This place is yours. You can't just leave it," Lee challenged.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. I want Lorca to take over in the office. I'll still come by, and it'll still be mine, but Lorca will run things for me," I explained.

"Jenn," Lee tried to reason.

I interrupted, "it's not definite. It's just something I'm seriously considering. And this conversation stays strictly between you and me. If Koz really wanted to make up, it would have happened by now. I won't have him trying to force us to work out just to keep me where he can keep an eye on me."

"Okay, I won't say anything until you're ready. I should probably get back to work," he agreed before heading back outside.

I returned to my desk and responded to Juice before getting some work donw.

"Yeah, I was playing COD and thought it would be more fun if you were here," I told Juice.

"So, can I ask you something personal," Juice requested tentatively.

"Of course," I responded with a new found confidence.

"Hap mentioned you were thinking about coming down to Charming. Are you coming here because of Happy," Juice requested.

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I was, but I wasn't. Happy was the one who seemed to be consistently helping me through things. But I wasn't planning on going to Charming to try and settle down with Hap. Hell, that would never happen. Happy was, and would likely always be, a ladies man. And Opie was right…I was the wild child. Previously I always thought that I would die old and lonely. Now, that fear suddenly seemed ridiculous. Trusting someone enough to commit yourself to them completely was fucking ridiculous. People are selfish and cruel and throwing caution to the wind as far as my emotions were concerned was no longer an option.

"Well, Happy has been trying to get me to go back to Charming, but if you're asking if there's some kind of relationship on the horizon, that's a negative. Relationships require commitment and trust. Those are both in short supply lately," I admitted.

"Man, Koz really fucked you over," Juice commented.

"Not exactly. I've always believed that. I was just naive enough to think Kozik could be the exception to the rule," I advised.

I was surprised when I heard a knock on my office door for the second time that day.

"Come in," I responded, glancing at the clock.

I was super shocked to see that it was already six o'clock.

"Oh my…what are you doing here," I asked with a shocked smile as Happy closed the door behind him.

"I heard there's a party," he responded as I came around the desk.

"I haven't seen you smile like that in a while," Happy commented before pulling me into a hug.

"Seriuosly, you didn't come all this way for a party," I questioned.

"That was just an added bonus," he agreed.

"Everything alright," I asked as we sat across from each other.

"That's what I came here to find out. I came here to make sure you were alright, for real," he admitted.

"I'm fine, Hap," I told him, still smiling.

"You heading over for the party," he asked, probably ready to get a beer after his long ride.

"Yeah, let's head on over," I suggested, leading the way outside.

"You sure you're up for this," Happy asked, concerned that another incident with Koz and myself was a real possibility.

"Seriously, I'm fine. Besides, having you here to hang out with will actually make me more comfortable," I told him.

Happy opened the door to the clubhouse, allowing me to enter first. I wasn't surprised to see the clubhouse already filled with intoxicated people. When Lee spotted me, he quickly whispered something to Kelly, who wandered toward the bar. In moments, she presented both Happy and myself with beers.

"Thanks," I told her as Happy nodded in appreciation.

"You're welcome," she responded, eyeing Happy and me suspiciously. "I've got to get back to Lee, but I was hoping to talk to you before you leave, okay?"

"Yeah, definitely," I agreed.

I was a bit surprised when Happy placed his hand on my back and guided me over to one of the few areas that had two seats together. We sat beside each other, taking in our surroundings. I soon spotted Kozik, who was playing pool with James and a couple local sweet butts.

Happy must have noticed me spot them, "you cool?"

"Yep," I responded, returning my attention to him.

"Hey, where are you staying while you're here," I requested.

"Here," he answered, as if it should be obvious.

"You don't like my guest room," I asked, pretending to be offended.

"I didn't think me staying at your place would be a good idea," he admitted, moving closer so our conversation wasn't as loud.

"Are you worried about Koz," I asked teasingly.

"Just trying not to cause more problems for you," Happy told me.

"Problems I can handle. Being stuck by myself in that house all the time, not so much," I admitted.

"Maybe," he said with a smile.

It wasn't long before Lee was calling for silence. He was standing on one of the tables before helping Kelly up to stand beside him.

"Everyone in this room tonight is my family. And as my family, I'd like to share my recent good fortune with you all. Kelly and I…are getting married," Lee announce happily.

Everyone burst into cheers and applause, including myself.

"I'll be right back," I told Happy before cutting across the room.

I managed to find Kelly in the crowd, giving her a congratulatory hug before suggesting we head somewhere more quiet. While Lee took shots with some of the guys, Kelly and I disappeared down the hall. We entered my old room.

"You wanted to talk to me," I asked, starting on my second beer.

"Yeah, I haven't seen you around for a while. I just wanted to check on you. I know you're probably tired of that," Kelly began.

"It's cool, Kell. I appreciate the concern, but really, I'm fine. I just don't want to cause anymore drama, so I probably won't be around as much," I confided. "In fact, I'm thinking about going back to Charming. And that stays between you and me. Lee knows, but that's it," I admitted.

"Is that why Happy's here," Kelly asked with a suggestive smile.

"What? No. Happy and I aren't together," I tried to explain before someone frantically threw open the bedroom door. It was the little blonde sweet butt that Koz seemed to favor.

"What the fuck are you doing," I demanded.

"Jenna, you need to come outside, now! It's Koz and Hap," she urgently advised.

"Yeah, it's nothing," Kelly teased as we headed down the hall, following the blonde.

"Huh," I asked, confused about the meaning.

"Those two are obviously fighting over you…and you say nothing's going on," Kelly responded with a knowing laugh.

When the three of us got outside, a crowd was gathered around in a good-sized circle in the lot. Herman and Happy had removed their cuts and shirts, which were now sitting on the table along with Lee. Kelly joined Lee while I pushed my way through the crowd, seeing Koz and Happy squaring off. Neither one of them noticed my sudden appearance.

I watched as Herman and Happy exchanged hits. I knew better than to interfere at this point. Neither man took their eyes off of one another. And before long, Kozik started to speak. I knew things were about to get worse.

"You have the nerve to fuck Jenn, then come up here and rub my face in it," Kozik challenged before landing a punch on Happy's jaw.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Koz," Happy responded, nailing Koz in the ribs.

I could feel everyone's eyes darting from the fight, to me, and back again. I watched both me banter and assault one another.

"I think it's pretty fucking obvious that there's something going on with you two. Everyone sees it. The way you two are when you're with each other. If you haven't already, which I doubt, you want to," Herman continued as they paced themselves physically. "Admit it," he challenged.

"I've never fucked her, man," Happy verbally defended, hitting Herman right on the cheek.

"Dodging the other half of the question," Koz mocked.

"Fine, you jackass. Yeah, I want to fuck Jenn. Who the hell wouldn't? You're a fucking idiot, throwing her away for some dumb look-alike skank," Happy responded, angrily hitting Koz right in the eye.

Before anymore damage could be done, I interceded. Daringly, I threw myself between both men. I was visually pleading with Happy to stop this.

"This is over…stop," I practically begged.

"Stay out of it, Jenn," Kozik ordered, taking a step forward.

I turned to face an obviously drunk Kozik, blocking his path toward Happy. Happy didn't seem sure what to do. A woman had never stopped one of his fights before.

"Move," Herman ordered.

"No," I sternly responded. "This is done, Koz. Go inside and get cleaned up," I instructed.

Koz laughed, surprising me.

"I told you, Jenn. I fucking called this," Kozik reminded me.

"You know, I should be the bigger person and just walk away. But fuck it, I'm not. You were the one who pushed me away, Koz. And I want you to know that if I do end up with someone else, you pushed me there! You didn't call shit. You created it," I enlightened him before spotting his blonde companion.

"You…get him inside, clean him up…take care of him," I instructed her.

"What? You're calling the shots for everyone now," Koz challenged.

I chose to ignore him while the blonde approached with her hands on her hips. She obviously didn't like me bossing her around.

"I have a name, you know," she told me, standing in front of Kozik now.

"And that's how important you are. I don't even know your name, honey. Now do your job, skank. Go clean him up," I ordered harshly.

The blonde reached back to hit me. Angrily, I grabbed her wrist before rearing back and hitting her right in the jaw. Surprised, and preventing a brawl, Happy grabbed me from around the waist. He pulled me toward my office, only stopping by the table to grab his shirt and cut. Some people were returning to the clubhouse, but most were still watching either Happy and myself or Koz and the blonde who apparently did have a name.

"What happened," I questioned as we entered my office.

"I'm sorry, Jenn. Look, he came at me, accusing you and me of all kinds of shit. I wasn't going to back down. Some of the things he was saying…what the fuck, Jenn. Why does he think we've been fucking around," Happy asked, confused.

I caught myself admiring his chest and abdomen, quickly looking away as he pulled his shirt on.

"I don't know. Ever since that night at the cemetery, he's been accusing me of sleeping with you. He thinks that I chose to redeem myself with you instead of him," I tried to explain.

"Why didn't you tell me he was this bad," Happy requested, sitting in one of the chairs while I grabbed a first aid kit.

"I knew he was drunk, fucking around, and generally cruel to me. But I never thought Koz would do something this stupid," I admitted, pulling out some gauze and hydrogen peroxide.

Happy only had a small cut above his right eye, on the brow. I decided it wasn't bad, but still needed to be cleaned.

"Is staying at your place going to be too awkward," Happy asked, watching me dab away the blood.

"I, uh, don't think it can be anymore awkward that what we just went through out there," I answered.

I finished cleaning him up and put away the kit before grabbing my purse and keys. Happy and I went outside, where Hap lit a cigarette while I locked the door to my office. He then walked me to my car before putting out his cigarette and following me on his bike.

Quietly, we entered my house.

"We need to talk, Jenn," Happy informed me as I sat on the couch.

He sat beside me as I responded, "okay. About?"

"This," he answered, referring to the situation with Kozik.

I sat there quietly, waiting for him to start.

"Jenn, after what happened tonight, I think it's pretty clear that Koz still has feelings for you. If he didn't, he never would have come at me like that," Happy observed.

"He might. But that doesn't change anything. He's still in that room with blondie, while I'm here," I reminded him.

"Are you sure about Charming? Because I think there's still something left there," he questioned.

"Not with him being like that, there isn't. I'm done with games, Hap. It's a waste of my time and it's only going to drive me crazy," I admitted. "I'm setting things up with Lee and Lorca tomorrow. I'm planning to leave in a week, maybe two," I decided. "I'm going home, Hap."

After a few moments of silence, I made a request, "can I ask you something, Hap?"

"Yeah," he answered, pulling out a joint.

"Did you mean what you said out there, or were you just pissing off Koz," I asked, watching him light the joint.

He inhaled as I watched him. He handed me the joint before responding.

"I don't really know how to answer that, Jenn. I feel like it will only cause more trouble," he told me.

"I'm not going to go causing trouble, Happy," I told him, passing the joint back.

"Why do you want to know," he questioned in return, taking the joint.

"You know why I want to know," I responded, my face becoming flushed.

He smirked as he passed the joint back.

"Unfortunately, I'm not a mind reader," he told me teasingly.

"Tell me," I said, taking the joint once more.

"Tell me why you want to know, and I'll tell you," Happy teased, watching me stub out the roach.

I contemplated the challenge and I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn't want a commitment. I didn't need a ring, or a husband, or for any man to have a reason to try keeping me under his thumb. I just wanted, hell, maybe even needed, some release. Maybe it was the weed, or my own imagination, but it felt like there was suddenly this great sexual tension between Happy and myself. I decided that I would take a chance and perhaps Happy and I could both release our own tensions.

His eyes wandered across me as I made the first move to straddle his lap. He watched me, obviously intrigued by my bold move.

"Do…you want…to fuck me," I requested teasingly as I pulled the red dress up my body and off. I dropped the dress behind me, allowing it to land at his feet.

"You know I do," he answered, sliding his hands up my legs.

He moved his hands to my back and pulled me closer to him.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Jenn? I'm only going to have the self-control to ask you once," Happy admitted.

I lightly bit my lower lip, "I'm sure, Hap. Just…keep in mind…it's been a while."

"Koz is an idiot," Happy commented before pulling my lips to his.

Hungrily, I moaned into the kiss as his hands explored my body. I shifted my lips to begin kissing his neck. As I kissed and sucked on his neck, he removed his cut. My hands felt his chest and quickly wandered down, feeling the definition of his abdomen through his shirt. He watched as my hands slid to his belt buckle. I teased him as I slowly undid the buckle while rubbing my other hand over the hardness beneath his jeans.

Once his belt was undone, and his pants were unzipped, I eagerly reached into his jeans and pulled out his fully hardened shaft out of the top of his boxers while he maneuvered his jeans down to his knees. I began stroking him as he pulled me toward him, kissing me once again. His free hand slipped between my thighs, teasing me with his touch as he rubbed against me. I felt myself quickly moisten at his touch.

Taking him by surprise, I removed myself from his lap and got up off the couch.

"Fuck, Jenn," he commented, wondering where I was headed.

I turned and smiled at him before motioning for him to follow. I quickly slid off the heels I had forgotten I was wearing and headed down the hallway. Happy watched me wander away as he pulled off his boots, socks, and jeans, leaving them across the living room. Once down the hallway, he threw off his shirt.

When he found me in the bedroom, I was shedding the black and red bra and panty set. He watched me with a pleased expression and even smiled when I began to approach him.

He leaned down to kiss me, sliding his rough hands down my naked body. Before I knew it, he had pulled me up, allowing me to wrap my long legs around him. I felt his throbbing cock pressed against me as he walked toward the bed. He laid me down, and I couldn't help but moan in pleasure when he took my nipple into his mouth. He smirked at the effect he had on me before teasing my clit with his fingers. I grabbed a pillow, needing something to clasp onto. I gasped when Happy moved his lips, kissing down my abdomen. Gently, he began pleasuring me with his obviously talented tongue. It wasn't long before I grabbed the pillow and bit it, moaning uncontrollably. Happy grabbed the pillow and threw it on the floor, stopping what he was doing.

"What," I began, out of breath. "Why'd you stop," I asked as he moved up to kiss my lips.

I could taste myself on him as our tongues danced. He gently moved my legs apart before positioning himself at my entrance. He teased me with the tip, momentarily. This caused me to moan into the kiss yet again. I reached down, grabbing his cock. He knew I wanted him inside me. He stood his ground and pulled away, breaking the kiss as well.

"Don't use the pillows," he told me. "I want to hear you moan," he admitted before kissing my neck.

He slowly inched his way inside me. The initial pain soon turned to pleasure.

"You alright," he asked when he was mostly inside.

I nodded and smiled at him before pulling his lips to mine once more. He took that as his cue to begin slowly moving in and out. It wasn't long before I could move my hips against him.

"Oh, God," I moaned as he repositioned himself onto his knees.

He pulled my hips up to him, placing my legs on his shoulders. He smirked as he teased me by very slowly pumping in and out.

"Hap," I moaned.

"Yeah," he asked with a sexy, tempting smile.

"Please," I said as I bit my lower lip.

"Please what," he responded, obviously wanting me to tell him what I wanted.

"You know exactly what I want, Happy," I answered.

"I want to hear you say it," he admitted as he pulled out and laid next to me, propping himself up on one elbow.

I took advantage and pushed himself down onto his back. I climbed over him, positioning myself to instead ride him. He firmly held my hips, preventing me from proceeding.

"Tell me," he teased with zesty smirk.

"Fuck me, Hap," I begged, hungry for release.

At that, he loosened his grip on my hips, allowing me to slowly lower myself onto his massive member. I groaned in satisfaction as I felt him deep inside me. I deliberately began to grind against him, allowing him to watch me ride his cock. When I sped up, he began to incorporate his own thrusts and used his hands to help me keep and quick and steady pace. When I began to moan and he felt my muscles tightening around him, he flipped me back onto my back. He somehow managed to stay inside me as he rolled on top of me. My moans became louder when he began thrusting in and out of me. He was pressed against me now, sucking and kissing my neck as I finally came, my nails digging into his back.

"Oh, God…Happy…don't stop," I begged, causing him to quicken his pace.

The orgasm felt like it lasted for a glorious eternity. And it was only moments later that I heard him release a grunted sigh of relief when he too came.

Happy collapsed next to me as we both laid there, covered in sweat, trying to catch our breath.

When my breathing had almost returned to normal, I left the bed. I could feel Happy watching me as I threw on his t-shirt, which lay right outside the open door.

"Where you goin'," he asked in confusion.

""Cigarette," I responded with a smile.

As I disappeared down the hallway, Happy pulled his boxers on and followed me.


	17. 017 Eureka

*** I only own my own OC's. ***

I woke up the next morning to see that Happy was no longer laying next to me. I sat up, once again naked, and noticed that the shower was running. I got out of bed and entered the bathroom. The mirror was just starting to steam up, so he couldn't have been in for long.

I slid open the shower door, causing Happy to turn and face me.

"Mind if I join you," I questioned with a tempting smirk.

He responded by grabbing my hand and gently pulling me into the shower before re-closing the shower door.

"Damn, girl, you just keep coming back for more," he commented with a smile.

"What can I say? I told you it's been a while," I responded with a smile.

"You ready for round three," I challenged, getting down on my knees and quickly wrapping my mouth around his semi-hardened cock.

An hour and a half later, Happy and I were fully dressed and heading out my front door. We stood awkwardly next to my car for a moment.

"Will you let me know you made it back okay," I asked, beginning to wonder if the sex was a mistake.

"Yeah. I'm stopping by to check on my mom, but after that I'm heading back to Charming," he advised, watching me with a hint of wonder. "You alright," he asked, noticing my sudden nervousness.

"Yeah…I'm just…well, worried," I admitted.

"Worried? About what," he requested.

"Well, I don't want things to be weird between us. You know what I mean," I asked.

"Weird," he questioned.

"Okay, so I'd like to think that you and I are really good friends. Usually when friends have sex, things have a tendency to get…awkward," I explained.

"Usually," he began. "You and I aren't exactly the usual kind of people," Happy pointed out. "Look, it's only weird if we make it that way. Nothing has to change, Jenn."

I smiled with relief.

"Good, because truthfully, you're probably my closest friend. And I don't think I could stand losing you right now," I admitted.

Happy smiled back at me before pulling me toward him for a hug.

"I'll see you in a few days," he promised.

"Next weekend at the latest," I assured him.

I was surprised when he leaned down and kissed me goodbye. It was a strangely brief but sweet kiss.

"Now go to work. The sooner you have someone trained, the sooner you get to leave Tacoma," he reminded me.

"Be careful," I called to him as he got on his bike.

As I pulled into the lot, I realized how long the next week or so would be. My homecoming seemed an eternity away. I got out of my car and headed directly to the clubhouse. I could feel eyes on me as I crossed the lot, likely remembering the previous evening's events.

I found Lee about to enter his office.

"Hey, Lee," I called.

He turned to see me heading toward him.

"Yeah," he responded.

"I need to talk to you," I told him.

"Yeah, I figured you'd be by," Lee admitted. "Come on," he offered, gesturing for me to join him in his office.

I sat across from him, deciding I would take the direct route.

"After last night, I think it's best if I go back to Charming," I admitted.

"I can see why you'd think that," Lee responded. "Have you thought about the fact that after last night, most of the people who witnessed that spectacle are convinced that Koz is still in love with you," he added.

"Yeah, that's not the first time I've heard that theory," I admitted. "Whether it's true or not, I can't stay here anymore. If Kozik gets his head straight, he knows how to find me."

"So, does that mean you're telling him that you're leaving," Lee questioned.

"After last night, I think a face-to-face isn't such a brilliant idea. Besides, if Koz knows I'm leaving and he, I dunno, makes a move, I'll just wonder if he's doing it just to keep me here. And if he's just trying to keep me here for the wrong reason, things wouldn't work out anyway," I told him.

"Alright. Lorca's on his way in. He should be here in a few. I'll send him over when he gets in," Lee agreed.

Twenty minutes later, Lorca was entering my office.

"Hey, Lee said you needed to see me," he asked.

"Yeah. Can you close the door," I requested.

"Sure," he answered as he shut the door to the office. "Is everything alright," he asked, his expression concerned.

"Yeah. Look, I need to run something by you. This conversation stays in this room though. And not like our conversation that we had in here," I finished with a warning.

"I'm really sorry about that, Jenn. I swear, I was only trying to help," Lorca apologized.

"It's alright. The only reason I didn't go off on you is because I know you thought you were trying to help. This conversation, however, is different. This is work…it stays between you and me," I advised. "We clear?"

"Crystal," he responded with a smile.

"Okay…how do you feel about a promotion," I asked, hoping that Lorca was on board.

Without Lorca, the plan simply didn't exist.

"Promotion," Lorca questioned.

"I'm preparing to go back home…to Charming," I admitted. "I won't sell this place. It was my dad's and while I need some distance from Tacoma, I don't want to lose all ties completely. The only way I get to Charming is if you take my job. I can show you how to do everything. You're smart, so you'll pick up quick."

"Jenn, you can't leave," he tried to protest.

"I have to. I can't sit around forever waiting for Koz. And realistically, I could never have a relationship with someone else. I work here and with Koz being a couple hundred feet away…well, last night could be a good indicator of how it would go," I explained.

"What about a place to stay out there, Jenn," Lorca challenged. "You aren't gonna find a place in like a week."

"Dad could never bring himself to sell our old house in Charming. It was the place my ma picked out. He always had this plan to fix it up real nice…remodel the whole thing. I guess in his mind, it would be like his last gift to her. So, I want to go do it. It's a huge task, but I really think I need something like this. And I really need some space between me and all my drama here," I revealed.

I hadn't told anyone about my secret house project. I wanted one thing, one thing that could be all mine. I wanted to fix up that house for my mom and dad. I figured the gesture would sound stupid to most people. Who fixes up a house for their dead parents? I knew Lorca would understand. Or at least, I hoped he would.

"So this isn't you running off with Happy? Because after last night, there's a lot of buzz about you and Hap," Lorca asked.

"I'm not running off with any guy, Lorc. And I'd really appreciate it if the old hens in leather would chill out with the sewing circle shit. Everyone should have enough brains to realize that Hap isn't the relationship type," I reminded him.

"He did admit," Lorca began.

I interrupted, "he admitted he would fuck me. That hardly constitutes as a commitment. I'm no one's old lady, Lorc, and as far as I'm concerned, I have no intentions of ever being one."

"Okay. I'll do it. But only on one condition. You call every Saturday and go over business with me," Lorca decided.

""Like a conference call," I asked with a laugh.

"Sure. I mean, we'll use the time to catch up, too. But I don't want you ever being surprised by anything to do with this garage," he admitted.

""Alright. I can do that. I have a personal request of my own, though," I advised.

"What's that," he asked.

"I'm an idiot for still caring. But I need you to take care of Koz. He's falling into a pit. And I know he won't let me pull him out, even if I tried. Just…don't let him fall back into being a junkie," I requested with genuine concern.

"I'll look after him, Jenn. We all will," Lorca agreed.

Lorca and I spent the rest of the day going over my daily work routine. Since there were some things that I only did on certain days of the week, I made a cheat sheet for him until everything became routine.

When five o'clock finally rolled around, I grabbed my belongings and told Lorca goodnight. I headed to my car as he entered the clubhouse.

I made it home and decided that now that I had an actual plan for leaving, my evenings would be spent packing. Since I would be remodeling my dad's old house, I decided that I wouldn't take much furniture. For the most part, I would be living out of my bedroom. On this night, I decided to pack up the kitchen. All of my pots, pans, utensils, and spices were packed away in about five boxes. A sixth box held any additional dry goods.

This was how I spent the entire next week. I would train Lorca by day and pack up a few boxes at night. By the time the next Saturday rolled around, I found myself mostly packed. Lorca and I were finishing up in the office.

"You coming to the party tonight," Lorca requested.

"Do you really think that's a good idea," I asked unsurely.

"Come on, Jenn. If you're really leaving, you need to come party with us," Lorca advised.

"Lorc, you usually leave early anyway," I commented.

"Not tonight. Maria's at her ma's for a few days with the kids. I have all night," he revealed with a smile.

"What are you doing, Lorc," I asked, beginning to suspect a conspiracy.

"We're having an unofficial farewell part for you," Lorca admitted.

"Don't you think this will be a bit obvious," I asked skeptically.

"No. We don't ever really need a reason to party. This one just has a secret meaning," he assured.

"Alright. Let's go then," I agreed with a thankful smile.

Minutes later I entered the clubhouse. I found myself surprised when Bowie, Donut, and even James greeted me. I sat with them and Lorca at the bar. James still stood behind the bar with a new Prospect I hadn't met before.

"Who's your friend," I asked.

"New Prospect, Richie," Bowie introduced.

"That's right, you're expected to patch in soon, huh," I asked James, realizing that this was the first conversation we had in what felt like ages.

"Yeah, vote is tomorrow," James revealed.

"I expect the vote will be unanimous," I assured him. "You've proven to be a valuable asset and a good, loyal brother."

"Thanks," James responded appreciatively.

"Hey, guys, you mind if I talk to Jenn for a minute," James asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sure," Lorca agreed, getting Bowie, Donut, and Richie to leave me and James to chat.

James handed me a fresh, cold beer before speaking.

" I want to apologize to you," James admitted.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I let him continue.

"I'm sorry I was being a jerk. Whether anything has or will happen between you and any guy isn't my business. And, truth be told, I fully supported Kozik…until that ridiculous incident last week," he apologized.

"James," I stopped him. "It's fine. Look, I'm not completely innocent in all this either. Koz and I are just…in very different places right now. And while I may act like a selfish bitch sometimes, that doesn't mean I hate him or anything. He's going to need you…and all of his brothers. Whether you're a member of the MC, an old lady, a sweet butt, a hang around…we're family. And family takes care of one another," I reminded him.

James pulled out a new bottle of tequila from behind the counter. Seeing the bottle gave me an idea.

"What about a game of quarters," I suggested.

"What? Playing with two people kinda blows," he responded with a laugh.

"Well, then, I guess it's a good thing Lorca, Bowie, Donut, and Richie will be playing with us," I responded with a smile before waiving the four back over.

We played quarters over the next hour and a half. I decided to call it quits when I saw Kelly, Lee's new fiance, enter. She looked like she had just gotten off of work. Kelly looked around, probably looking for Lee. I grabbed a couple of beers from James before heading over.

I handed her one of the cold longnecks.

"Thanks," she responded, quickly taking a drink.

"No problem. Can I talk to you for a minute," I requested.

"Yeah, of course," Kelly agreed, following me to an empty table.

"What's up, Jenn," she asked as she sat across from me.

"Remember what I talked to you about briefly last week," I asked, being as vague as I could.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Well, it's happening. I, uh…I've been training Lorca to take over running the garage for me. I haven't been doing much of it lately, but for the last few years, I've played a role in taking care of these guys. As Lee's old lady, that duty will fall onto you. You think you can handle it, Kell?"

She laughed self-consciously. I had never once seen even an ounce of doubt in her until this moment.

"You'll be fine, Kelly. And you are always welcome to call me. I just have one favor to ask you," I admitted.

"Anything," she agreed curiously.

"These boys will keep an eye on Koz…make sure he's okay. I was hoping to enlist you to do the same," I revealed.

She nodded in agreement, sending a knowing smirk my way.

"You still care about him? I'm kind of surprised after last week," Kelly responded.

"I care about everyone of these guys. And regardless of how much Herman and I fuck each other over or humiliate each other, I will always have a special place for him. He's the first real relationship I had. And while it ended up fucked up, I wouldn't take it back," I admitted.

"You know, after that night, I talked to him," Kelly began.

I interrupted, "don't tell me what he said, Kell. If he really wants me to know, he'll tell me."

*** Kozik's Point of View ***

Tonight felt strangely different, though I couldn't figure out why. I spent most of the week out on repos, trying to avoid Jenna. I had embarrassed her pretty badly. While I was admittedly wasted that night, it still wasn't a reason…just a lame excuse.

Riley hadn't come back to the clubhouse since that night. Honestly, I was glad. Once Lee had pulled me aside that night and called me out on my shit, including fucking Riley because she had in fact resembled Jenna, I found myself disgusted with my behavior.

I played pool with Lee as we had a few beers. I was surprised to see Jenna sitting at the bar, playing a drinking game, with a few of the guys. She looked like she was having fun. Part of me wished I was there beside her. The other part of me reminded myself that I didn't deserve to be.

I wanted to apologize to her. I wanted desperately to work things out with her. I had admitted this to Lee earlier in the day. He suggested that I get myself back together before taking on the task of reviving a relationship.

After some thought, I decided he was right. I would start by cutting out the getting wasted every night bullshit. The next step was to be sure Riley knew she was no longer welcome company. I wasn't even sure she would return, but Kelly seemed to believe she would. Also, at Kelly's suggestion, I planned to get myself tested. While I had only been with the redhead in Charming, a local brunette once, and Riley, I couldn't be sure of who these girls had been with. Jenna had been tested after her assault to ensure that I was protected. Surely the least I could do for her, as well as myself, was ensure that the fiery-haired croweater and the two Tacoma girls hadn't passed along a little gift. All the while, I would give Jenn some space. I had hurt and humiliated her. I could at least give her some space to heal.

I looked up to see that Jenn was no longer at the bar. I quickly glanced around and sighed with relief when I spotted her chatting away privately with Kelly. The way the two women were huddled together at the table almost looked like they were plotting.

Jenn and Kelly plotting. Nah…that just had to be my imagination. It was much more likely that they were conversing about Kelly and Lee's wedding. Right?


	18. 018 Smite

*** I only own my own OC's. ***

It was my last day in Tacoma. Lorca had been running the office all week. I only hung around in case I was needed. I had finished packing a few days ago, and already made arrangements to have a couple of guys from SAMCRO help me move. Jax said he would send two guys to meet me at my place with the van by five-thirty.

I could feel the pressure pressing in on me from all sides. Could this be a sign that I was making a mistake? As I stepped outside and lit a cigarette, I looked over at the garage. It finally sunk in how much I would miss this place. I would miss the guys…my guys. While I watched them joke around and work in the garage, I noticed Herman. He was the only one who seemed focused on what he was doing. He was working on an older model Mustang. I hadn't seen Koz around the garage much lately. He had been doing a lot of repo work. He hadn't been wasted, and I hadn't seen him with the blonde either. I started to wonder if he was trying to clean himself up. The thought made me smile to myself.

I watched as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket. He went over to the patio and lit a cigarette. I knew I couldn't really say goodbye to Koz. I was afraid he would try to convince me to stay. I had to say something though.

I headed across the lot. Koz looked up and quickly noticed me approaching. I half-expected him to turn and head inside the clubhouse. I was surprised when he instead just stood there and waited for me. I sat next to him at the picnic table.

"Hey," I greeted, now noticing that half of the guys were watching us.

"Hey," Herman responded with an uneasy smile.

"So, how are you doing," I lamely questioned.

"I'm…good. How are you," he responded.

"I'm pretty good. I, um, noticed your friend hasn't been around lately," I observed with a laugh.

"Yeah, I told Riley not to come back here," he revealed.

"Sorry I hit her," I cringed as I apologized.

"Don't apologize. You should have hit her. She basically challenged you," he reminded me.

"I guess," I responded, wondering why I had even brought the blonde up.

"Look, I'm really sorry about that night. Not that it's a reason, but I was pretty wasted. And when I saw you smiling and having fun with Happy, I just kind of lost it. What can I say, I got jealous. I embarrassed Happy, myself, and you," Koz apologized.

"It's alright, Koz. Don't worry about it. And for the record, Happy and I are not a couple. So maybe…no more jealousy-induced fighting," I teased.

"Yeah, I'll have to find a new outlet," he answered with a laugh of his own.

My phone rang, interrupting the awkward moment. I looked at the caller and saw Half-Sack's name on the screen.

"I, um, I have to take this," I advised.

I answered the phone, "hey, hang on a sec."

I turned to Koz and smiled at him. Surprising the both of us, I pulled Kozik in for a hug. Uncertainly, he wrapped his arms around me. When we separated, I left him with five words.

"Take care of yourself, okay," I instructed before I quickly headed toward the office.

*** Kozik's Point of View ***

I watched as Jenna quickly headed back towards the office. She was talking to someone on the phone as she disappeared into the office. In a matter of moments, she was exiting the office with her purse and keys, and swiftly stopped to hug Lorca. Then she scurried to her car.

What was Jenna up to? Suspicious, I lit a second cigarette and headed toward the office. If anyone knew what was going on with Jenn, it would be Lorca. Lorca saw me coming and uncharacteristically lit a second cigarette himself.

"So Jenn said goodbye," Lorca commented with a smile.

Unsure of his meaning, I cocked my head to the side, "goodbye?"

Like a deer in headlights, Lorca must have realized his mistake, because his smile quickly faded and his eyes widened.

"What do you mean, goodbye," I asked, hoping Lorca was just fucking with me.

Nervous now, Lorca didn't answer.

"Lorc…where is Jenn going, man?"

"I'm sorry, man. I swear I thought she just told you. I thought because of the hug," Lorca rambled anxiously.

"Okay, man, I get it. Where is Jenn going, and when," I pressed.

"She's going back to Billy's place in Charming. She's leaving now," Lorca revealed.

Urgently, I pulled out my phone. I called her number. Her phone must have been off, because my call went directly to voicemail. Frustrated, I hung up and put the phone away. I raced over to my bike.

*** Jenna's Point of View ***

I pulled up to my house, parking on the street. I smiled in greeting to both Half-Sack and Juice.

"I didn't know you'd be here," I told Juice with a smile.

I hugged both Juice and Half-Sack before glancing back at the van.

"Did you guys already load everything up," I questioned in disbelief.

"Yeah, well, we got here kind of early. We didn't call until there were only a couple of boxes left," Half-Sack admitted.

"You only wanted the stuff from the garage, right," Juice questioned.

"Yeah," I responded, moving to ensure everything was off inside.

I did a quick sweep of the house before locking up.

"You ready," Juice asked.

"Yeah. You know how to drive a standard," I questioned.

"Yeah," he answered.

I tossed him the keys, "good, you're driving my car."

Juice caught the keys while Half-Sack climbed into the van. Juice got into the driver seat of my car while I sat in the passenger seat. We followed Kip, remaining silent until we found ourselves outside city limits.

*** Kozik's Point of View ***

I raced to Jenn's house. When I turned the final corner, my heart sank. The driveway was empty. I convinced myself that maybe she had parked in the garage.

I parked in the driveway before quickly going to the door. With some urgency, I knocked on Jenn's door. I didn't wait long, but it was surely long enough for someone to answer the door. I pulled out my phone and tried dialing her again. Still straight to voicemail.

This was it, then. I ruined everything I had with Jenna, and all because I was jealous. I couldn't believe she was really gone. Feeling myself finally crash to an all-time low, I slipped to the cement.

I couldn't say how long I sat in front of her door, but by the time Lorca and Lee found me, I had gone through the second half of my cigarettes.

"Come on, man," Lee urged, leading me back toward our bike. "Let's go back to the clubhouse."

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

"So does Koz know you're leaving," Juice questioned.

"He probably does by now," I responded, anxiously looking over to Juice.

"Wait, so you didn't tell him," he asked.

"No. I hugged him goodbye though. I think it may have made him suspicious. I just…I couldn't leave without some kind of goodbye," I admitted.

"Why didn't you tell him goodbye then," he asked with confusion.

"If Koz knew I was leaving, there's a good chance he would have tried to stop me. I didn't want to give him that opportunity," I revealed.

"So what are your plans when you get back to Charming," Juice asked with interest.

"I decided to fix up my dad's old house. He always wanted to do it, but never really got around to it," I admitted.

"That sounds…expensive," he thought out loud.

"Well, dad was putting away money for years. If I do everything that I can myself, it won't be too bad. I just have to hire someone for any kind of plumbing or electrical work," I admitted.

A few hours later, we were pulling into the driveway of my childhood home.

"So Gem set me up with power and water, right," I asked, eyeing the vacant house.

"Yep. Everything was turned on yesterday," Juice answered.

I watched Half-Sack get out of the van and stretch. Juice and I got out of my car, needing to stretch as well.

"So, you guys look exhausted. You can just leave the van and take my car. I'll bring the van by the garage tomorrow," I suggested.

"What," Half-Sack responded.

"No way," Juice answered.

"Jenn, we're not just gonna leave you to unload all this stuff by yourself in the dark," Half-Sack reasoned.

"Okay," I agreed. "Everything not labeled kitchen or bathroom goes in the master bedroom. Thank you, guys."

In an hour and a half, the three of us unpacked the entire van. When I walked into my bedroom with the last box, I saw Half-Sack and Juice trying to put together my futon.

"What are you doing," I asked, surprising them both.

"We're," Half-Sack started.

"No, really, I can put this thing together tomorrow," I told them.

"Where are you gonna sleep…the floor," Juice responded.

"The mattress…on the floor," I told them both. "I can rough it for one night, guys," I added in.

"Yeah, I dunno. I don't think Gemma will be happy if she finds out we let you sleep on the floor," Half-Sack argued nervously.

"Then I'll put it together real quick," I offered.

"Jenn, are you trying to get rid of us," Juice challenged with that same confident smirk that he wore when I last left him.

Guiltily, I smiled.

"You caught me," I admitted.

"Sack, can you manage this for a minute," Juice requested.

"What? Yeah," Kip answered.

"Come on," Juice told me, leading me out to the porch.

We leaned against the house, sliding down to sit on the floor of the porch, as Juice lit a joint. After he passed it over to me, he broke the now uncomfortable silence.

"So, why are you trying to get rid of me," Juice asked, watching me.

"I'm in a kind of…fucked up place right now. Look, I'm going to be honest with you…just don't let it go to your head," I revealed.

"This should be interesting," he commented, unable to keep himself from smiling.

"Obviously, from our last encounter, you know that I find you attractive. I would really like to avoid…anything…that could cause problems," I admitted.

Juice nodded in understanding while appearing to think over my carefully executed words.

"So you're trying to avoid causing problems because you're still in love with Kozik, or because you're sleeping with Happy," Juice asked honestly. 


	19. 019 Falx Cerebri

*** I only own my own OC's. Hope you enjoy! ***

* * * Back in Tacoma * * *

Kozik sat at the bar in the clubhouse, thoughtfully nursing a beer. Shelley, one of the brunette sweet butts, approached Herman. The cute, curvy woman gently placed her arm across his shoulder.

"You lonely," she questioned sweetly, offering comfort the only way she knew how.

"No offense, sweetie, but my loneliness can't be cured by you," Herman answered.

"You miss the blonde," she questioned, sitting beside Koz at the bar.

"Well that depends on which blonde you're referencing," Kozik responded.

"The one you and your friend beat the hell out of each other over," she answered.

"I do miss her…more than she can know," he admitted.

"She's a lucky woman," the brunette commented.

"Oh yeah," Koz responded questioningly.

"Most women spend so much of their youth looking for a good guy to love them. Your blonde worth fighting over, well, she has two guys who love her," the woman observed.

"You think Happy is in love with Jenn," Koz scoffed.

"Maybe not in love, but he loves her. Why did she leave anyway? Isn't this her place," the sweet butt questioned.

"Well, I can't know for certain, but I think she told everyone during that fight. I pushed her there," Kozik admitted.

"You want another beer," she offered, grabbing his empty bottle.

"No. Thanks though. For the offer and for listening. I think I'm gonna go and try to get some sleep," Kozik admitted, getting to his feet.

"Anytime, handsome," the brunette responded with a kind smile.

"Oh, and, I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name," Kozik admitted, turning to face her again.

"Shelley," the woman introduced.

"Well, Shelley…thank you…and good night," Herman bid farewell.

Across the room, Lee and Lorca played pool. They played and watched Herman in silence until Lee decided to break the silence.

"You think he'll be okay," Lee requested.

"I don't know, man. It's like he still hasn't really reacted," Lorca observed.

"I have to admit, I'm surprised he didn't take Shelley back to his room, at the very least. I kind of expected broken shit to be everywhere," Lee admitted.

"I know it's not the time to ask, but I have to wonder what's going on in his head right now," Lorca admitted this time.

"I can only assume that he's assumed Jenna left to be with Happy," Lee suggested.

"Not that again, dude," Lorca challenged.

"It's a logical assumption," Lee pointed out.

"I just don't buy it, man. I have a hard time imagining Jenna running off just to be with a guy," Lorca skeptically voiced.

"Maybe. I guess time will tell," Lee decided.

"*** I only own my own OC's. ***

It was my last day in Tacoma. Lorca had been running the office all week. I only hung around in case I was needed. I had finished packing a few days ago, and already made arrangements to have a couple of guys from SAMCRO help me move. Jax said he would send two guys to meet me at my place with the van by five-thirty.

I could feel the pressure pressing in on me from all sides. Could this be a sign that I was making a mistake? As I stepped outside and lit a cigarette, I looked over at the garage. It finally sunk in how much I would miss this place. I would miss the guys…my guys. While I watched them joke around and work in the garage, I noticed Herman. He was the only one who seemed focused on what he was doing. He was working on an older model Mustang. I hadn't seen Koz around the garage much lately. He had been doing a lot of repo work. He hadn't been wasted, and I hadn't seen him with the blonde either. I started to wonder if he was trying to clean himself up. The thought made me smile to myself.

I watched as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket. He went over to the patio and lit a cigarette. I knew I couldn't really say goodbye to Koz. I was afraid he would try to convince me to stay. I had to say something though.

I headed across the lot. Koz looked up and quickly noticed me approaching. I half-expected him to turn and head inside the clubhouse. I was surprised when he instead just stood there and waited for me. I sat next to him at the picnic table.

"Hey," I greeted, now noticing that half of the guys were watching us.

"Hey," Herman responded with an uneasy smile.

"So, how are you doing," I lamely questioned.

"I'm…good. How are you," he responded.

"I'm pretty good. I, um, noticed your friend hasn't been around lately," I observed with a laugh.

"Yeah, I told Riley not to come back here," he revealed.

"Sorry I hit her," I cringed as I apologized.

"Don't apologize. You should have hit her. She basically challenged you," he reminded me.

"I guess," I responded, wondering why I had even brought the blonde up.

"Look, I'm really sorry about that night. Not that it's a reason, but I was pretty wasted. And when I saw you smiling and having fun with Happy, I just kind of lost it. What can I say, I got jealous. I embarrassed Happy, myself, and you," Koz apologized.

"It's alright, Koz. Don't worry about it. And for the record, Happy and I are not a couple. So maybe…no more jealousy-induced fighting," I teased.

"Yeah, I'll have to find a new outlet," he answered with a laugh of his own.

My phone rang, interrupting the awkward moment. I looked at the caller and saw Half-Sack's name on the screen.

"I, um, I have to take this," I advised.

I answered the phone, "hey, hang on a sec."

I turned to Koz and smiled at him. Surprising the both of us, I pulled Kozik in for a hug. Uncertainly, he wrapped his arms around me. When we separated, I left him with five words.

"Take care of yourself, okay," I instructed before I quickly headed toward the office.

*** Kozik's Point of View ***

I watched as Jenna quickly headed back towards the office. She was talking to someone on the phone as she disappeared into the office. In a matter of moments, she was exiting the office with her purse and keys, and swiftly stopped to hug Lorca. Then she scurried to her car.

What was Jenna up to? Suspicious, I lit a second cigarette and headed toward the office. If anyone knew what was going on with Jenn, it would be Lorca. Lorca saw me coming and uncharacteristically lit a second cigarette himself.

"So Jenn said goodbye," Lorca commented with a smile.

Unsure of his meaning, I cocked my head to the side, "goodbye?"

Like a deer in headlights, Lorca must have realized his mistake, because his smile quickly faded and his eyes widened.

"What do you mean, goodbye," I asked, hoping Lorca was just fucking with me.

Nervous now, Lorca didn't answer.

"Lorc…where is Jenn going, man?"

"I'm sorry, man. I swear I thought she just told you. I thought because of the hug," Lorca rambled anxiously.

"Okay, man, I get it. Where is Jenn going, and when," I pressed.

"She's going back to Billy's place in Charming. She's leaving now," Lorca revealed.

Urgently, I pulled out my phone. I called her number. Her phone must have been off, because my call went directly to voicemail. Frustrated, I hung up and put the phone away. I raced over to my bike.

*** Jenna's Point of View ***

I pulled up to my house, parking on the street. I smiled in greeting to both Half-Sack and Juice.

"I didn't know you'd be here," I told Juice with a smile.

I hugged both Juice and Half-Sack before glancing back at the van.

"Did you guys already load everything up," I questioned in disbelief.

"Yeah, well, we got here kind of early. We didn't call until there were only a couple of boxes left," Half-Sack admitted.

"You only wanted the stuff from the garage, right," Juice questioned.

"Yeah," I responded, moving to ensure everything was off inside.

I did a quick sweep of the house before locking up.

"You ready," Juice asked.

"Yeah. You know how to drive a standard," I questioned.

"Yeah," he answered.

I tossed him the keys, "good, you're driving my car."

Juice caught the keys while Half-Sack climbed into the van. Juice got into the driver seat of my car while I sat in the passenger seat. We followed Kip, remaining silent until we found ourselves outside city limits.

*** Kozik's Point of View ***

I raced to Jenn's house. When I turned the final corner, my heart sank. The driveway was empty. I convinced myself that maybe she had parked in the garage.

I parked in the driveway before quickly going to the door. With some urgency, I knocked on Jenn's door. I didn't wait long, but it was surely long enough for someone to answer the door. I pulled out my phone and tried dialing her again. Still straight to voicemail.

This was it, then. I ruined everything I had with Jenna, and all because I was jealous. I couldn't believe she was really gone. Feeling myself finally crash to an all-time low, I slipped to the cement.

I couldn't say how long I sat in front of her door, but by the time Lorca and Lee found me, I had gone through the second half of my cigarettes.

"Come on, man," Lee urged, leading me back toward our bike. "Let's go back to the clubhouse."

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

"So does Koz know you're leaving," Juice questioned.

"He probably does by now," I responded, anxiously looking over to Juice.

"Wait, so you didn't tell him," he asked.

"No. I hugged him goodbye though. I think it may have made him suspicious. I just…I couldn't leave without some kind of goodbye," I admitted.

"Why didn't you tell him goodbye then," he asked with confusion.

"If Koz knew I was leaving, there's a good chance he would have tried to stop me. I didn't want to give him that opportunity," I revealed.

"So what are your plans when you get back to Charming," Juice asked with interest.

"I decided to fix up my dad's old house. He always wanted to do it, but never really got around to it," I admitted.

"That sounds…expensive," he thought out loud.

"Well, dad was putting away money for years. If I do everything that I can myself, it won't be too bad. I just have to hire someone for any kind of plumbing or electrical work," I admitted.

A few hours later, we were pulling into the driveway of my childhood home.

"So Gem set me up with power and water, right," I asked, eyeing the vacant house.

"Yep. Everything was turned on yesterday," Juice answered.

I watched Half-Sack get out of the van and stretch. Juice and I got out of my car, needing to stretch as well.

"So, you guys look exhausted. You can just leave the van and take my car. I'll bring the van by the garage tomorrow," I suggested.

"What," Half-Sack responded.

"No way," Juice answered.

"Jenn, we're not just gonna leave you to unload all this stuff by yourself in the dark," Half-Sack reasoned.

"Okay," I agreed. "Everything not labeled kitchen or bathroom goes in the master bedroom. Thank you, guys."

In an hour and a half, the three of us unpacked the entire van. When I walked into my bedroom with the last box, I saw Half-Sack and Juice trying to put together my futon.

"What are you doing," I asked, surprising them both.

"We're," Half-Sack started.

"No, really, I can put this thing together tomorrow," I told them.

"Where are you gonna sleep…the floor," Juice responded.

"The mattress…on the floor," I told them both. "I can rough it for one night, guys," I added in.

"Yeah, I dunno. I don't think Gemma will be happy if she finds out we let you sleep on the floor," Half-Sack argued nervously.

"Then I'll put it together real quick," I offered.

"Jenn, are you trying to get rid of us," Juice challenged with that same confident smirk that he wore when I last left him.

Guiltily, I smiled.

"You caught me," I admitted.

"Sack, can you manage this for a minute," Juice requested.

"What? Yeah," Kip answered.

"Come on," Juice told me, leading me out to the porch.

We leaned against the house, sliding down to sit on the floor of the porch, as Juice lit a joint. After he passed it over to me, he broke the now uncomfortable silence.

"So, why are you trying to get rid of me," Juice asked, watching me.

"I'm in a kind of…fucked up place right now. Look, I'm going to be honest with you…just don't let it go to your head," I revealed.

"This should be interesting," he commented, unable to keep himself from smiling.

"Obviously, from our last encounter, you know that I find you attractive. I would really like to avoid…anything…that could cause problems," I admitted.

Juice nodded in understanding while appearing to think over my carefully executed words.

"So you're trying to avoid causing problems because you're still in love with Kozik, or because you're sleeping with Happy," Juice asked honestly.

* * * Back in Charming * * *

"How did you," I began.

Juice interrupted, "just an educated guess."

"Educated," I questioned.

"It's not exactly unheard of for a chick to turn to the supportive guy who happens to be her best friend," he pointed out.

I wasn't sure what to say. It appeared Juice, however, had some questions of his own.

"I thought you weren't coming back to Charming for Happy," Juice asked.

"I didn't. I'm not," I responded. "Look, I grew up here. Jax, Ope, Gemma, Piney, Chibs, Luann, Otto, Bobby, Clay…they're my family. My dad transferred to Tacoma because of me. After my mom died, I guess you can say I acted out. That was back in high school. Most people move on from that kind of behavior. I didn't. After Tara bailed, Jax and I were kind of…together. My dad hated it. We partied a lot. We got into trouble a lot. Jackson started fucking around with some new blonde porn star slut. I got jealous and beat the hell out of her. After an assault charge, which luckily got dropped because of Jax, dad packed us up and moved me to Tacoma. Tacoma's fucking boring. So I adapted…domesticated myself. I started working in the shop and eventually took over the office work. After everything fell apart in Tacoma, I realized how much I missed my family. I wanted to come home, Juice. And I needed a project…which is the house," I admitted.

"So, you aren't here to live happily ever after with Hap," Juice challenged.

"No," I responded with a light laugh. "Besides, can you see Happy settling down and living happily ever after," I challenged in return.

"I guess not. Though for you…he might," Juice answered.

"I have to ask, why are you so interested in what does or doesn't happen with me and Happy," I requested, feeling a bit uncomfortable about his last comment.

Juice smiled guiltily, "you caught me. I think I was kind of…well, hoping that you were interested in someone else in Charming."

I smiled back at him.

"Juice…I just got out of a fucked up relationship with Koz. I'm not really in a place to be in a relationship right now. That's why that kind of…arrangement is perfect with Happy. Neither of us are interested in a relationship. It's just sex."

I felt myself blush when Juice looked me over.

"Lucky guy," Juice commented.

I grabbed Juice's hand and laid my head on his shoulder.

"No, Juice…I'm the lucky one. I have all of SAMCRO taking care of me. Even you, Juicy," I responded with a smile.

Juice gently squeezed my hand in response. A moment later, Kip came outside. He eyed the two of us with both curiosity and surprise. Neither Juice nor myself moved. Kip broke the bizarre silence.

"The, uh, futon's put together," he announced.

"Thank you," I told him with a stoned smile.

"No problem," Half Sack responded.

"Alright," Juice started, getting to his feet.

He helped me to mine as he finished, "we'll get out of your hair. Give us a call if you need any help."

"Will do," I promised. "Thank you both for helping me out. You have no idea how much I appreciate this."

I hugged both Juice and Half Sack in thank you and good bye before heading inside and crashing on my miserable futon for the night.

The next morning, I woke up and found myself searching for a warm body. Instead, I found myself alone. I wasn't sure who I expected to be there. Quickly shaking away the disappointment, I pulled myself out of bed. I sat beside the boxes labeled, "clothes" and pulled on a pair of holed jeans and an old white wife beater. I threw on a pair of black and white converse before grabbing a pen and notepad from my purse. I found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter before sitting on the patio.

Thoughtfully, I made a list of everything I could think of that needed to be done to the three rooms I was starting on. I also made a list of everything that I would need to buy, including cleaning supplies.

In an hour, I left the house and found myself wandering through the supermarket with a basket full of groceries and cleaning supplies. After what felt like an eternity in the checkout line, I loaded everything into the trunk of my car.

"So, did the boys get you set up," a familiar voice requested.

I turned to see Gemma standing beside my grocery basket.

"Hey, Gem," I greeted with a smile.

"Hey, honey," she responded, pulling me in for a quick hug.

"Juice and Kip refused to leave until they had my futon set up. They feared your wrath if they left me to do it myself," I revealed with a laugh.

"Good, they used the right heads for once," Gemma commented, looking me over.

"So Happy came back into town last night," Gemma commented. "Is it a coincidence that he shows up the same night you do," she questioned suspiciously.

"I'm sure Clay probably asked him to come to Charming. Happy does have a particular skill set that the MC tends to find useful," I reminded her.

"The MC the only ones," she interrogated. "I hear that Happy has another skill set that women tend to find useful."

"What are you really asking, Gemma," I requested, surprised at her mothering attitude regarding Happy.

"Whether you see it or not, Happy cares about you. Now, I've always thought of you as the daughter I never had, Jenn. But you better not be starting shit in this MC. I know that you've been around long enough to know better. And you better not hurt Happy," Gemma advised.

I was surprised. Gemma and I had always been close.

"Look, Gemma, I'm not sure what you've heard, but Happy and I are just friends," I tried to assure her.

"Yeah? Honey, I've seen the way he acts after a simple phone call with you. Happy cares about you. You be careful with him," Gemma warned.

I wasn't sure what to say. I simply stared at Gemma in disbelief.

"You coming by TM," she questioned, disturbing the silence.

"I wasn't planning on coming by for a couple of days, at least. I'm scrubbing the house from top to bottom, then starting on a little home makeover project," I responded.

She nodded in understanding.

"Alright. Well, if you need any help, let me know," she offered before grabbing my now empty cart and entering the store.


	20. 020 Gilead

*** I only own my own OC's. Enjoy! ***

I spent the rest of the day scrubbing the house clean. I heard my phone ring when I started scrubbing the walls in the hallway. I put down my wash rag and glanced at the clock on the oven. I was almost midnight. I reached over and grabbed my phone. I was surprised to see Gemma's name on the screen.

"Hey, Gem, what's up," I greeted.

"Can you come up to the clubhouse? Tara, Piney, Opie, Half Sack and I are here. You need to come up here as soon as you can," she asked with obvious urgency in her voice.

"Yeah. I can be there in thirty. Is everything alright," I asked, unable to hide the concern in my tone.

"We're fine. I'll explain when you get here," Gemma advised.

"Alright. Be there soon," I told her.

I quickly changed out of my dirty cleaning clothes and into a pair of jeans and a turquoise halter top. I threw on some black slip on shoes and a black leather jacket. Quickly, I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

As soon as I made it to the clubhouse, I practically ran inside. I found Gemma, Tara, Opie, Piney, and Kip all sitting around a table. It was odd that no one else was around.

"Where is everyone," I asked, concerned about what on earth could be happening.  
>"Some of the guys got arrested," Opie answered, getting to his feet and coming over to greet me.<p>

"Some of the guys," I asked, hugging him before following him back to join everyone at the table.

"Clay, Jax, Tig, Bobby, Juice, and Hap," Piney answered.

I sat there, almost in shock, at the news.

"What happened," I asked.

"Allegedly…they shot up a church," Opie answered.

"What do we do," I questioned, looking to Gemma now.

"Lawyer's gonna come by in the morning. We find out about bail then," Gemma answered. "Until then…we wait."

Gemma went into the small kitchen and started to cook. I had no idea what she could be cooking. But I remembered it has a coping mechanism for her when I was younger. Whatever it was she was making, was bound to be delicious.

Tara started cleaning. The clubhouse wasn't a pig sty, but it could definitely do with some cleaning. Kip, remembering that he was the one who should be cleaning, quickly jumped up to help her.

Opie, Piney, and I sat at the table still. As Opie got up and went behind the bar, Piney spoke up.

"How you doing, Jenn," he asked, showing a genuine concern I hadn't seen in many people since my father's death. Most people appeared to be asking the question as a way of gauging whether I was going to snap at any moment.

"I'm alright. Fixing up dad's old house," I admitted, before asking in return, "how are you, Piney?"

"I'm…getting by," he responded, a sudden sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear about Donna," I told him quietly, not sure if speaking about Donna in front of Opie was a good idea.

"She was a wonderful girl," he commented. "Well, I'm gonna head off to bed. Tell Ope to come get me if anything new develops," he said before disappearing back toward the rooms.

In a matter of moments, Opie joined me with two beers, two shot glasses, and a new bottle of Jameson. I cringed when I saw the Jameson.

"You remember the last time I drank that," I asked him as he sat beside me at the table.

"How could I forget. You and Jax ended up in the drunk tank. I think that was after the two of you used the bed of my truck for a little…indecent exposure," he added with a laugh.

"That was beyond uncomfortable," I commented, laughing.

"Well, I'll make sure you don't do anything too stupid. And it's not like Jax is here to help you out," he teased.

"I think Tara would probably kick my ass," I reminded him, seeing her across the room cleaning.

"So, is it weird being back here? It kind of feels like the whole gang is back together," he requested.

"It does feel weird…not yet, anyway. I mean, Gemma gave me the whole 'don't start shit with the club' and 'don't break Happy's heart' speech. That was strange," I revealed.

He almost choked on his beer, which he was using as a chaser. I downed the first shot of Jameson, quickly chasing it with a beer of my own.

"You alright there," I asked, as he caught his breath.

"Yeah. You and Hap," Opie questioned in disbelief. "You know, you have this awesome knack for picking the crazy ones."

"What's that supposed to mean," I asked incredulously.

"Well, Jax isn't exactly on the sane side. I mean, he's always been a little off. I think having Abel has made him the sanest I've seen him in years. Then you and Koz," Opie started.

"Koz? What's wrong with him? I thought he was probably the nicest guy I've ever been in any kind of relationship with. You know, aside from the last couple months or so," I responded defensively.

"You've never worked with Koz. And when him and Tig used to run together…well, they were fucking crazy. You just happened to come into his life when he was calming down some," Opie explained.

"I guess," I responded, forcing myself to take a second shot to keep up with Opie.

After he chased his with the beer, he continued, "now Happy. I know that you know what Happy does for the club. I mean, you obviously don't have details, but you get the gist of it. Some of the things Happy does, not even Koz or Tig can hold a candle to him on the insane scale."

"So, is that what you boys do all day around here…gossip about what may or may not be going on in others' lives," I questioned curiously.

"I haven't heard you deny that you're involved with Happy," Opie pointed out.

"Define involved," I requested, leaning back in my chair and sipping on my beer.

"Look, all I know, is that everyone here was flipping shit when you disappeared for a couple of days up in Tacoma. Everyone was calling and shooting over texts. Happy tried to convince us to give you a little space. Then when he never heard from you, he freaked out and called. You ignored every other message and phone call. But Happy leaves you one voicemail and you immediately call back. I'm just saying, there's something," Opie analyzed.

"Yeah, do you really want to be the one Happy is pissed at? I'd rather not," I tried to explain. "For all I knew, Happy would follow through with that voicemail and drive all the way up there. Who wants a pissed off Happy looking for them?"

"He did go up there, Jenn? In fact, I've heard an interesting story about that night," Opie told me with a smile.

"What did you hear," I asked, not wanting to give away more than what he already knew. I wasn't sure I wanted all of Charming to know everything about that night.

"I heard Koz and Happy got into a fight," Opie admitted.

"They did," I responded, not volunteering anything else.

"I also heard that the fight was about you," Opie added in.

"Who did you hear this from," I asked curiously.

"Well, we saw it on video, but the sound was shit. There was too much noise in the crowd. But I asked what the fight was about, and someone filled me in on some of the exchange between Happy and Kozik," Opie revealed.

"YOU SAW IT ON VIDEO," I asked incredulously, spitting out the mouthful of beer.

This caught the attention of Tara and Half Sack, who were still cleaning. Gemma came out of the kitchen to see what the ruckus was.

"Sorry," I apologized, blushing now. "You saw it on video," I asked him more quietly.

Tara and Half Sack returned to cleaning. Gemma watched us for a moment, obviously wondering what we were talking about.

"I did," he told me with an entertained smile. "So, is it true," Opie questioned.

"I guess," I did my best not to directly admit it. "It wasn't what you think, Ope. It wasn't like two guys were fighting over me," I explained more clearly.

"What was it like then?"

He must have sense my apprehension to proceed on the topic.

"Come on, Jenn. You can tell me. Whatever is said at this table, stays at this table," he promised.

I sighed and took another shot of Jameson, urging him to do the same. My best hope was that we would end up drunk enough to forget about the entire conversation.

"Okay, stays here though, Opie. I'm trusting you. Shit, if Jax ever gets a hold of this information, it'll be hell for me," I agreed.

"I won't say anything to Jax," Opie promised with a laugh.

"I wasn't there for the first part of it. I was talking to Kelly, Lee's fiance. There was this sweet butt up in Tacoma who, I guess, resembled me. Koz had been screwing around with her while I basically kept to myself. Anyway, she came and told me Koz and Happy were fighting. So we went outside and I thought they were just going to beat the hell out of each other. But it was strange. It was more like they were having a conversation, and just hitting each other after each exchange. It was kinda fucked up. So, Koz, being wasted, started yelling at Happy that he was an ass for fucking his girl, then having the nerve to show up in Tacoma," I began.

Opie poured us each another shot, allowing me to take one before continuing.

"And, for the record, Happy did not fuck me, then show up in Tacoma to rub it in Koz's face," I ensured Opie knew as I caught the suspicious glance. "Happy tried to tell Herman that he never fucked me. Kozik turned it around and tried calling Happy out on wanting to fuck me. When Happy didn't placate him, Koz just called him out on dodging the question. Then, of course, everyone shut the fuck up when Happy finally answered Kozik and admitted that he would, and that Herman's a fucking idiot for throwing away what we had."

"So that's it," Opie requested, picking up the bottle of Jameson, silently asking me if I was interested in another shot.

I nodded to the Jameson, pushing the shot glass toward the bottle.

"Well, remember the blonde that resembled me," I asked him, not making eye contact this time.

"Yeah," he responded, pouring two more shots.

"I punched her," I cringed as I admitted my latest assault.

"What? What did you hit her for," Opie requested, the entertained smile reappearing.

"I stepped between the guys, stopping the fight. Koz and I got into an argument. Then I told the girl to get him inside and clean him up. She tried to come at me, so I decked her," I explained before we downed the next set of shots.

"Damn. So, I know you've probably already had a lot of people drilling you about this business with Happy. But you and I, we've known each other for a long time, Jenn. So, are you gonna tell me what's really going on with you two," he asked, taking me off guard.

"I don't know if I should," I admitted.

"Why not," he requested.

"In the best way possible, Ope, I hate it when you get onto me. When you tell me you're pissed or disappointed in me, it hurts. With you, it matters what you think of me," I admitted.

"Why's that," Opie questioned, curious now.

"You've always kind of…kept me grounded. In the least offensive way possible, you're like the big brother I never had," I told him with a laugh.

"Why would that be offensive," he asked me, laughing as well.

"Well, most guys associate that with the 'friend zone' bullshit, and tend to take it personal," I told him.

"Well, Jenn, that only applies to guys who are trying to get in your pants. I'm not one of them," he reminded me.

"I'm thankful for that," I told him with a smile.

"So, what is going on with you and Hap," Opie prodded.

"That night, after the fight, he stayed at my place," I told Opie, hoping he would understand without me going into detail.

"Ah, I see. So, are you two…together," he questioned.

"It's more like a friends with benefit sort of thing," I admitted. "I kind of freaked out before he headed back here, so he told me if I didn't want anything to change, it didn't have to. So, I told him I didn't want anything to change."

Opie sat there in silence, watching me for a moment.

"Look, I know it sounds fucked up and immature. But the truth is, after Koz, I'm still reeling. I can't do a relationship now. And when have you ever seen Happy in a relationship," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess," Opie commented, pouring yet another set of shots.

"So, how are you doing," I asked Opie, watching for his reaction.

"I'm dealing how I know how. Ma's taking care of the kids while I work things out," he explained.

"Well, if you ever want to talk things out, Ope, you can call or meet me anytime," I offered.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks," he told me.

For what? Regardless of where I'm located in the world, you can always reach out to me, Opie. Like I said, you're my brother," I told him with a smile.

"Well, that too. I meant about not pushing on the subject further. Most people keep pushing until I get pissed," he revealed.

"When you're ready to talk about it, you will. Everyone here loves you, and we'll be here to listen or whatever, whenever you're ready," I reminded him.

At that we both took our last shots before downing the last little bit of beer in each of our own bottles.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go pass out. You should get some rest too, Ope. Wake me when you find anything out," I told him, hugging him momentarily before heading towards the rooms.

Once I started moving, I realized that I had drank a little more than I had expected. I was wobbly. Tara must have noticed, because she came over and grabbed my arm to steer me down the hallway.

"Thanks," I told her, genuinely appreciative.

"No problem. Where to," she asked.

I realized that there wasn't a room back there for me. Typically I would have slept in Jax's room, but with Tara being here, that would not be a good idea.

"Um," I stammered, looking thoroughly confused as I tried to think of what to say.

"Take her to Happy's room," Gemma told Tara as she passed by the two of us.

Tara nodded in understanding and guided me down the hallway to Happy's room. I expected the walk to be filled with an uncomfortable silence, but Tara surprised me again.

"So, you and Happy," Tara questioned.

"It's not what you think," I told her. "Or maybe it is. I don't know," I admitted.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's not my business," Tara responded.

"Well, if you ask Gemma, you're family, so it's family business," I told her, laughing after my impersonation of Gemma.

"That's pretty good," Tara complimented with a smile as she helped me onto the bed.

"Lightweight," Opie commented as he passed by the open door, either heading for bed or the bathroom.

"You know what Jameson does to me, Winston," I hollered down the hallway.

"Hey," I called, stopping Tara, who was heading toward the door now.

"Yeah," Tara responded, turning back to look at me now.

"Does that offer for girl talk still stand," I asked her, hopefully.

"Yeah, it does," Tara responded, "you need me to hang out here a bit?"

"Not right now. I. um, I get the feeling I may need some girl talk soon though. I've only been here a couple of days and already I'm being interrogated by everyone," I admitted.

"Just give me a call or you know where to find me," Tara responded with a smile.

The next morning, I woke up confused when I heard a knock on the door. I was mostly befuddled because I didn't immediately recognize where I was. After a few moments, I shook away the cobwebs and realized that I was still in the clubhouse, in Happy's room. Gemma must have stayed up all night, or slept for a very brief time, because she was the one knocking at the door.

I stumbled in the darkness and hastily opened up the door.

"Come on, honey. Lawyer's here. Half-Sack's got some coffee on," Gemma disclosed.

Groggy, I followed her out to the table where the lawyer and Tara were sitting. I sat beside Gemma while Half-Sack appeared with several cups of coffee.

"Thanks, Kip," I appreciated.

He nodded nervously before heading out to the garage with Opie.

"So what's going on," Gemma requested from the lawyer.

"Bail's been set. Five hundred K per head," he revealed.

"What? That's outrageous! That's three million dollars," Tara responded in stressed outrage.

"Unfortunately, there are a lot of witnesses and this is a serious offense. I'm unable to combat the bail," he advised.

"I can put up my dad's house," Tara offered.

"My house too," Gemma added in.

"I have the house in Tacoma and dad's cabin," I offered.

"That could maybe pull two million. We could get four of them out," the lawyer told us.

"Clay and Jax will never leave without the others," Gemma reminded everyone. "With these boys it's all or nothing."

"I can't put up dad's garage. It leaves Tacoma without a home," I explained.

"We're gonna need some time to think on this. Can we give you a call later, hon," Gemma requested.

"Anytime, day or night," the man answered.

At that, he politely finished his coffee and left the three of us to mull things over. We sat there quietly for a few minutes. I found myself somehow surprised that Gemma spoke up first.

"I have an idea. There's only one man I know with that kind of money…Oswald. Why don't you girls head home. I'll call you when I have something," Gemma offered.

Tara went over to Jax's place to relieve Nita and look after Abel. Meanwhile, I returned home. I finished up the last of the scrubbing before removing all of the baseboards in the living room, bathroom, and extra bedroom. After setting all of the white baseboards in the shed, I anxiously began ripping up the carpet in the living room, hallway, and bedroom.

I couldn't stop thinking about the guys. I spoke with Opie briefly before leaving the clubhouse. He made it clear, without directly admitting it, that the guys were not at all safe inside.

I was worried about them. I knew the guys were by no means easy targets, but this time they wouldn't have the advantage of numbers. In the pit of my stomach, I just knew something bad would happen. Angry that I couldn't do more to get the guys out and to safety, I angrily ripped the old carpet from the floor.

After I threw out the worn carpet, I stepped out onto the porch to have a cigarette. I was angry, upset, and worried. A lot could happen in a short amount of time.

After a couple of stress-relieving cigarettes, I decided to run to the local hardware store. I grabbed paint for the three rooms I was working on, and placed an order for some wood flooring for the living room, brand new carpet for the bedroom, and tile for the bathroom.

While I coated the living room walls with primer, I thought to myself. Things weren't really adding up. Juice wasn't the first to voice the idea that I was running off to Charming to be with Happy. Then there was Gemma's warning about Happy. First of, was it that obvious that Happy and I had slept together? And why did everyone assume that our arrangement was some kind of romantic emotional connection. All this talk made me feel anxious about seeing Happy again.

I found myself confused about the whole thing. I was pretty set on the fact that Happy was the kind of guy who wasn't into relationships or commitments. What if Happy did want something more than our physical arrangement? Would that really be so horrible?

I did feel safe with Happy. And I knew he cared about me. I just always figured it was more in a friendship kind of way. Maybe Hap did feel more. It wasn't likely that Happy Lowman was interested in any kind of relationship that involved anything more than sex…amazing sex.

My thoughts and work were interrupted by my phone ringing. I swiftly, but cautiously, climbed down the ladder. I dropped the brush onto the couple layers of newspaper on the bare floor. I dashed over to the phone, which sat on the closest kitchen counter.

"Hello," I answered, not even having time to look and see who's number pulled up on the screen.

"Hey, honey," Gemma greeted.

She didn't sound as stressed as the last time we spoke. I hoped that meant that she had good news.

"Were you able to talk to Oswald," I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, he just stopped by. He said he posted bail. The boys are on their way home now. I just thought you'd like to know, in case you wanted to stop by," she revealed.

"Yeah. I'm gonna change. I've been working on the house all day. After a shower and a change, I'll be over," I admitted.

"See you then, Jenny," she told me before we hung up.

With an all new wave of adrenaline, I showered and changed. I kept my hair down and damp while throwing on a pair of jeans, boots, and an olive green top. I dabbed on some light make up and grabbed my keys, phone, and purse. I headed out the door and went directly to the clubhouse.

When I pulled into a parking space, I saw the guys piling out of a van. I was confused by the angered expression on their faces. Most people were happy to get out of prison. I stepped out of my car and lit a cigarette. I watched as Jackson separated himself from the group. He went off on his own while the rest of the guys filed into the clubhouse.

Slowly, I approached Gemma and Tara, who were also watching the separation with confusion. The three of us stood in silence. This time I chose to interrupt the quiet.

"Should I leave," I asked uncertainly.

"I'm gonna go tell Clay we're heading out. I'll let Happy know you stopped by, Jenn. Tara, you may want to head home too. The boys obviously have something going on. I think it's best if we all head out of here and give them a little time," Gemma advised.

"Alright," we both agreed.

* * * Gemma's Point of View * * *

I gathered my composure before entering the clubhouse. I knew I wouldn't get anything about what was going on tonight. I'd dig a little once everyone calmed down. Immediately, I spotted Clay, who was sitting around with the guys. He looked entirely too pissed for a person who just got bailed out.

"Hey, baby," I greeted, kissing him.

"Hey, Gem," he smiled lightly.

"You alright," I asked, noticing a little dried blood on his face.

"Yeah. We're just gonna have a few drinks. I won't be out too late," he promised. "It'll be nice to sleep in my own bed again."

"I figured. I'm gonna go ahead and head home. You need anything before I go," I asked, looking around to see that Half Sack had already passed out the booze.

"No, baby. Just gonna have a few drinks," he responded, grabbing a cigar.

"Okay. You mind if I borrow Hap," I asked more quietly now.

"Hap?"

"Yeah, I've got a little message from his sweetheart," I told him in my typical smart assed way.

"Sweetheart," he asked, intrigued.

"I'll explain later," I told him before turning and going over to Happy.

"Lowman, we need to talk," I told him firmly, gesturing for him to follow me outside.

Happy followed me outside, lighting a cigarette as soon as we made it to the picnic tables. He offered me a cigarette.

"Why the hell not," I agreed, gladly taking the offer of nicotine.

"What's up, Gemma," Happy asked, confused about why I would be calling him outside alone.

"I just wanted you to know that Jenn came by. And while you boys were locked up, she really came through for this club. You know she offered up her house in Tacoma and Bill's cabin to get you out," I revealed, watching him for a reaction.

Typical Happy. He wore a complete poker face. He was often unreadable.

"You know, I helped Bill out a lot with Jenna after her mom passed. I kind of things of her as one of my own. And, between you and me, I had my own hopes for Jenna. After Tara left Jax high and dry, I always thought she and Jackson would end up together. Truth be told, she was a little to intense for Jax anyway. When I heard she was with Koz, I thought that might be an okay pairing. They were both pretty intense. Turns out I was wrong on that one too. I guess Herman can't handle someone so…free," I confided in Happy.

"Gemma, no disrespect, but what's your point in this," Happy boldly requested.

"My point is, Happy, that Jenna didn't just offer up half of what she owns for the MC. She came through for you today, too. Fortunately, she didn't have to give up anything once Oswald came around. I just thought you should know. Oh, and she stopped by a few minutes ago. I think she wanted to see you. I had her head home. I don't know what's going on with you guys, and I won't ask, but the tension was too thick to send her in there," I admitted.

I waited. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I wasn't positive that he would. I decided I would give him the opportunity to spill if he wanted to.

Happy continued to smoke his cigarette in silence. Something was obviously bothering him. And it wasn't club shit. Happy dealt with club shit better than he did life.

"Something wrong, Hap," I decided to ask.

"Honestly, Gem, I don't know. I, uh, made a move with Jenn. I know it's really soon after the whole situation with Koz, but it wasn't really just me initiating things. I don't know what it is about Jenna, but I feel protective of her. I like talking to her, which doesn't happen with most women. Before I came back, she looked scared out of her fucking mind. I asked her what was wrong, and she admitted to me that she wasn't ready for anything more than physical. Usually that's right up my alley, but it…bothered me with her," Happy admitted, lighting another cigarette. "For the first time I can remember, I caught myself wondering if I did something wrong."

I smiled knowingly at Happy, "trust me on this one, Happy. You don't want to rush her. That's the best way to send her running the other direction. If you wait it out, she'll come around. She'll have no choice but to see how much you care about her, honey. And trust me when I tell you, it'll be worth the wait." 


	21. 021 Potlach

*** I only own my own OC's. I hope you enjoy. The next update may take a little longer than usual, I didn't like what I had, so I scrapped it and started over. ***

After completing my task of covering each wall in the living room, hallway, bathroom, and second bedroom with the primer, I decided to take a break from my home makeover project. I pulled all of the boxes labeled "clothes" into the large walk-in closet. I slowly began to unpack every article of clothing and every shoe I owned. It was a task that allowed me to zone out without the risk of screwing anything up.

I must have zoned out pretty well, because I took several pairs of shoes and stood to put them on one of the old built-in shelves.

"Oh my…"I jumped when I saw Happy standing in the closet's doorway.

"I knocked, a few times, actually," he told me with an entertained expression.

I did my best to calm my heart rate while putting the shoes up.

"You scared the hell out of me," I admitted.

"You know, I figured you for the type to lock your door," he commented, watching me put away the shoes.

"I do, usually. Half of the doors and windows in the house are open to air out the rooms. I figured locking the door was pretty pointless at this point," I told him.

I thought the tension between us would be gone after the last time we saw each other. It only seemed to grow. Maybe it was just everyone's comments getting inside my head.

"Gemma said you stopped by," Happy revealed his reason for stopping by.

"Yeah. I wanted to make sure you…everyone was alright," I half-admitted.

I turned to face him and realized that I would have to brush against him to get out of the closet. I wasn't sure why this closeness suddenly made me nervous.

"You want a beer," I offered, stepping forward.

"Yeah. Thanks," he responded, stepping aside to allow me to pass.

Happy followed me into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as I grabbed two beers. I handed one to Happy before hopping up on the opposite counter and opening my own bottle.

"So, are you okay," I asked, unsure of what to talk about at this point.

"I'm fine, Jenn. How are you, after your move," he asked in return.

"I'm alright. You can see my project I started," I responded with a laugh, motioning toward the living room.

He seemed entertained by my anxious nervousness.

"Jenn, is this how it's going to be with us," he questioned, calling me out.

"Wha…what do you mean," I asked, horribly pretending to be oblivious.

"You said you didn't want anything to change, Jenn. But now you're acting…well, strange. Jenna, do you regret what happened between us," he questioned almost harshly.

"God, no, Happy! I don't regret it at all. I just…all these people…they're getting inside my head," I admitted.

"Like who? Gemma," he questioned.

"She means well, Happy. I think her motherly instinct took over or something," I responded, meeting his eyes once more.

"Hey, don't worry about Gemma. All that matters is what you and I think," he reminded me, standing directly in front of me now.

"I…I don't really know what to think, Happy," I honestly admitted.

I was surprised to see him smile at this. He didn't smile all that often, but when he did, it always caused me to smile too. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. He set his beer down and placed his hands on either side of me. I placed my beer on the counter and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me against himself. I wrapped my legs around his waist in response.

Happy carried me back toward the bedroom. He sat down on the futon, leaving me to straddle his lap. I was surprised when he pulled his lips away from mine.

"What's wrong," I asked, looking him in the eyes.

"As much as I'd like to continue this, that's not why I came here," Happy told me.

"Oh, right," I responded, "you never did say why you came by, actually."

"I kind of…well, I wanted to talk to you," Happy explained.

"What about," I requested, moving to sit beside him.

I grabbed the nearby pack of cigarettes, quickly lighting one before handing him the pack and lighter.

"Well, about this… I mean, Gemma didn't just talk to you, Jenn. I kind of wanted to find out what your expectations are," he admitted, lighting a cigarette.

"Expectations," I repeated, now worried that I would say the wrong thing.

"Jenn, you've always been able to talk to me. Why has that suddenly changed," he questioned.

"Because I'm afraid," I admitted.

"Afraid? Of what," he requested, confused.

"Of losing you," I revealed. "I feel like…if I say the wrong thing, you'll be pissed. Then maybe you'll leave," I explained.

"Regardless of what you tell me during this conversation, I'm not going anywhere," Happy tried to assure me.

I thought things over for a moment. Happy had always been a reasonable guy. Surely he wouldn't just up and bail. I laid my head against him.

"You still love Koz, don't you," Happy questioned me, taking me by surprise.

"Am I stupid if I say yes," I asked, curling up to him.

"No. It's not stupid. You care about Koz. It would be kind of fucked up if you got over him so quickly, I think," Happy told me.

He placed his arm around me.

"Have you talked to him," he asked.

"No. I tried calling him the other day. He never answered. Well, I guess I was actually returning his call," I admitted.

"Returning his call," Hap asked.

"He called the night I left. I didn't' answer because I knew he would try to convince me to stay in Tacoma," I explained.

"If he had asked you to stay, do you think you would have," Happy asked, wondering out loud.

"I don't know. I didn't want to find out, to be honest," I admitted.

"Will getting hold of him help you," Happy asked, sounding suddenly conspiratorial.

"No. I don't want you to make him call me, Hap. If he does, then I'll talk to him. But at this point, the ball's in his court. And if he doesn't, I'll move on," I told Happy.

"You know I care about you, Jenn," he asked me, lifting my chin to make me look at him now.

"Happy, I know you do," I admitted.

"Hap," I said, causing him to look at me again.

"Yeah," he asked, watching me.

"You know I care about you, right," I questioned in return.

"I do," he answered.

"I'm serious, Happy Lowman. You're entirely too important to me for me to lose you," I told him.

"I'm not going anywhere, blondie," he promised with a smile.

"Speaking of blonde… You must have noticed my roots coming in," I pointed out. "I'm thinking about stripping out the blonde and going back to my natural brown. Any thoughts," I asked curiously.

"First off, anything involving you and stripping sounds good to me," he commented with a teasing laugh.

I playfully hit him on the arm.

"Seriously though, I like the brown. Last time I saw you with brown hair, you were dressed very different," he teased, referencing our night in the cemetery where I was dressed like a croweater.

"Happy! You know what," I started to say.

He interrupted me with a kiss.

Two hours later, we laid naked under the blankets of my futon. I laid against his chest while his arm was wrapped around me.

"When are you trading this out for your bed," he asked.

"You hate it," I asked with a knowing smile.

"This is so fucking uncomfortable. How the hell do you sleep on this thing," he requested.

"I usually smoke a joint so I can pass out," I admitted with a laugh. "After I can move some stuff out of here, when the other rooms are finished, and after I pain the walls in here and replace the carpet," I explained.

We were interrupted when his phone rang. I sat up so he could grab his phone from his pants, which currently lay on the floor.

"Yeah," he answered.

While he listened to whoever was on the other end of the call, I teasingly began to kiss his neck. I half-expected him to shoo me away, as I had seen him do with some of the other sweet butts previously when he was on the phone. Instead, I found myself surprised when he smirked.

"Yeah, alright," he finally spoke before quickly hanging up.

He turned to kiss me, pulling me onto his lap. When he pulled back from the kiss, he surprised me with a question.

"You ready for another round," he asked with a smirk.

I simply smiled at him before kissing him in response.

He only allowed me to continue for a couple of minutes before breaking the kiss again.

"Sorry, Jenn, I have to go. Club business," he revealed with a teasing smirk.

"You have no time before you have to leave," I asked, obviously wanting more.

"Sorry…none. But I was advised that Gemma is having a dinner tonight. She has also been trying to get a hold of you to see if you can make it. You may want to call her before she shows up," he suggested.

Within five minutes, we were both dressed and I was walking Happy to the door. I opened the door and found myself only slightly surprised to see Gemma standing there, getting ready to knock. She arched an eyebrow and suddenly wore a knowing smile.

"I'll see you later, Jenn," Happy assured me before leaning down and giving me a quick kiss goodbye.

I stepped outside with Gemma, lighting a cigarette and offering her one. She took a cigarette, lighting it as we both watched Happy ride away.

"Just friends, huh," she asked with a smirk. "Friends don't kiss like that," she pointed out.

I stood there still silent. She was right. Friends didn't kiss each other goodbye. Not like that, anyway.

"I tried calling," Gemma admitted. "When I didn't hear from you, I remembered that you said you said you were doing some remodeling. So I thought maybe I should check in on you…make sure you're okay. I see you were…busy elsewhere," she playfully jabbed.

"I feel like I'm in high school again and you just caught me leaving Jackson's room," I admitted blushingly.

"It was almost like this, huh," Gemma agreed.

"So there's no repeat of the same speech I got that night…we're being safe," I told her with a laugh.

"Good to know," she responded sarcastically.

"I'm having dinner tonight at my place," Gemma advised me.

"Do you want me to come by early and help," I asked hopefully.

"That'd be great, honey. I'm running to the store for a few things. Just stop by when you can," she responded with what looked to be a genuinely thrilled smile.

"I'm gonna shower and I'll be right over," I promised. "Do I need to bring anything?"

"No, you're still settling in. Just having you there to help will be perfect," Gemma responded.

"Alright. I'll be over soon," I told her as she headed back toward her car.

An hour later, I pulled up to Gemma's house to find her just arriving. I helped her carry in a few groceries before we got started. Gemma took care of the main dish, a soon to be delicious roast. Meanwhile, I helped with some sides. It wasn't long before another handful of women showed up to help with everything.

It also wasn't long before I found myself working side by side with Gemma.

"You want to step out and have a cigarette," she suggested.

I knew this meant she wanted to talk to me. I was sure it was about finding Happy leaving my place earlier in the day.

"Sure," I agreed, following her outside.

We stood right outside the door to the kitchen door, each smoking a cigarette.

"What's on your mind, Gemm? I know you didn't just pull me out here for a cigarette," I told her.

"You've known me for too long," she commented with a guilty smile.

"So what's on your mind," I requested again.

"Well, I'm curious about something," Gemma admitted.

"About what," I asked, myself curious now.

"Well, you said you and Happy were just friends. Friends don't look at each other the way you two do. Did realization finally hit you yet," she asked me, watching me for a reaction now.

I was initially skeptical to provide her with any kind of answer. But I decided that Gemma was just playing mother to both Happy and myself, and that it was likely harmless. Besides, if it wasn't, Happy and I were both strong enough to tell her to back off. Or, at least, I hoped we were.

"We talked earlier," I revealed.

"It didn't look like you two had been talking," she told me skeptically.

"Before," I told her with a laugh. "We both admitted that we care about each other. That much is obvious. He questioned me about Koz."

"What about Herman," Gemma prodded.

"He asked me if I'm still in love with him," I admitted.

"Are you," Gemma requested now.

I sighed before admitting to her the same truth, "I am. I can't help it, Gemma."

"I know you can't, honey. Just…be careful, alright? I don't want to see you or Happy hurt because you both like fucking each other," she warned.

"So, can I change the subject now," I asked hopefully.

"What's going on, Jenn," she asked, now lighting a joint to share.

"Well, I'll be spending a lot of time working on the house. But there will be certain things I can't do until the previous task is completed. Like, it's best not to do anything else until paint dries," I began. "Could you maybe use some help at TM between stages? Then, I was thinking, if you needed help, I could help out more once I'm done with the house."

"Yeah, of course. Drop by any time. If for some reason I don't have any work for you, you can at least keep me company," she offered.

We smoked in silence momentarily before she voiced her newest thought.

"Now, this isn't some way for you to play the jealous card and keep an eye on Happy, is it," she requested carefully.

"No, Gemm," I laughed. "I haven't bashed in anyone's faces recently, so I think we're okay," I followed up with my usual brand of humor.

We finished up the joint before heading inside. I cleared a space for Gemma to pull out the roast, which smelled amazing. I moved out of the way as Tara angrily entered the house. She immediately approached Gemma, causing me to quickly become busy in the kitchen, hoping to avoid another awkward situation for the day.

I couldn't hear much of what they were saying, but Tara was pissed about something to do with Gemma and her work at the hospital. Before things could get too heated, the familiar face of Lyla, flanked by Opie's kids, entered the dining room.

I moved to relieve her of the dish she was carrying, when things yet again became awkward.

"What, are we serving hand jobs for dessert," Tara rudely commented.

This was the Tara I remembered from high school. She tried so hard to let you know that she was better than you. But in actuality, she was immature and arrogant. Angry, Lyla set down her dish and stormed out of the house.

"I've got it," I said before moving to follow Lyla out the door.

I heard Lyla speaking to someone, obviously and rightfully still angry. When I rounded the corner, I was surprised to see Opie, now comforting Lyla. Further back were Jax and Bobby. Opie pulled Lyla off to the side, nodding to me that he had it under control. As we walked up the side walk, I decided to address Jax.

"Jax, you should really talk to Tara. First off, her words toward Lyla in front of the kids…totally inappropriate. And second, she doesn't need to take her hatred for your skanky little friend, Ima, out of Lyla. Ima and Lyla are two very different people," I told him as we reached the door.

"I'll talk to her," Jax promised before heading inside, leaving me with Bobby.

"How you doing, Jenny," Bobby asked, hugging me.

"I'm pretty good. How are you, Elvis," I requested in return.

"All shook up, of course," he responded, making me laugh as we headed inside.

Soon I saw Tara and Jax talking, with him obviously trying to reason with her.

"Good luck with that," I thought to myself.

Gemma and the other women were starting to set the table. I went over to help them. As I set one of the side dishes on the table, I turned to see Clay and the other Sons arriving, including Happy. He immediately spotted me. Was that relief I saw flicker across his features when he saw that I was there. I turned back to the table and smiled to myself. Why did Happy noticing me first in a room filled with people make me happy?

Before I could think too much into it, Clay and Tig interrupted the somewhat peaceful environment. They heatedly confronted Jax, Opie, and Bobby.

I wasn't exactly clear on what they were arguing about, but I watched them all in confusion. I even noticed the angered expression on Happy's face. I glanced over to see Gemma was recognizably becoming upset. The argument was becoming so heated, that I wasn't confident that a brawl wouldn't ensue.

Cautiously, I discreetly wandered back into the kitchen. Once I was safely beside the island in the kitchen, I saw someone enter the back door from the corner of my eye. I looked over to see David Hale, who nodded at me in greeting. I smiled awkwardly, worried about him arriving on the heated scene.

In my stoned state, I watched as David caused the room to fall silent.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. But, um, Luann Delaney's car was found earlier today. It looks like she was run off the road and attacked. I'm sorry to tell you, but she didn't make it. I just thought you should know," he advised.

My eyes widened at the horrific news. Luann had always been like the cool aunt that I could talk to when I couldn't talk to dad or Gemma. It couldn't be possible that she was gone. Who the hell would attack Luann?

David knew he shouldn't stick around. He quietly left the Sons and family with the upsetting news. Clay and Jax began arguing yet again. Seeing them acting so stupid when we just received such horrible news angered me. I started to step forward, but found myself surprised when Gemma silenced the room.

In a rage, she slammed the ceramic dish containing the roast down onto the table, shattering the dish. I stopped immediately, knowing that now was definitely not the time to move or draw attention to myself.

After a few moments of silence, I stepped toward Gemma. Happy stepped away from Clay and moved to stop me. I shook my head, signaling that I was fine and that I would be. I approached Gemma, gently placing one hand on her shoulder while kneeling down to speak with her privately.

"Gemm, do you need everyone to clear out," I asked, deciding if I needed to, I would take charge and clear out the room.

"No, honey. Thank you," she responded, tears streaming down her face. "I'm gonna go out and have a smoke. Everyone should sit and eat," she suggested. "If there's anything salvageable on the roast."

"The roast is fine, Gemm. I'll clean it up. Go smoke, I'll take care of it," I offered.

Gemma slowly got to her feet. I reached into my back pocket and handed her my pack of cigarettes and lighter. Several people began to uncomfortably shift around.

I returned my attention to the table and began cleaning up the shards of ceramic. One of the women, who I hadn't really met grabbed a bag from the kitchen. She brought me the bag to place each shard in. Another women joined us and the three of us pulled each piece of ceramic from the table and off of the roast.

The guys settled around the table, almost appearing shameful of their immature display.

"Can you two get the last bit? I'm gonna go check on Gemm," I requested.

"Yeah," the both agreed.

I headed through the kitchen and toward the back door. I was surprised when someone gently grabbed my arm, causing me to stop. I turned and looked up to see Happy. Almost as if he was craving it, he leaned down and kiss me, pulling me into him for a moment before releasing me to go check on Gemm.

I felt my cheeks flushed as I stood beside Gemma. She handed me the cigarettes and lighter.

"The roast okay," she asked.

"No offence, Gem, because you're an awesome cook. But fuck the roast…it's fine. It smells just as delicious. And while I was picking up the ceramic, the smell made my mouth water," I told her with a laugh. "Seriously, though…are you alright," I asked in return.

"I'm fine, sweetie. Just seeing Jackson and Clay like this is really getting to me. I just couldn't deal with that shit after hearing about Luann," she admitted.

"You know, I always thought of you like a second mom. Luann was my cool aunt that I could go to if I couldn't talk to you or my dad about something," I admitted with a laugh.

She glanced over at me curiously now, "what did you ever talk to Luann about that you couldn't talk to me about?"

"Jax," I admitted. "You have to know by now, I was the girl on the side, Gemm. Jackson has always been in love with Tara. But that didn't make their relationship perfect, as I'm sure you recall. When he and Tara were on the rocks, Jax always found his way to me. I talked to Luann a lot back then. I was…naïve enough to believe I was in love with Jackson at one point. Turns out it was love…just a different kind," I explained.

"I didn't know you felt that way," Gemma admitted.

"I'm pretty readable, unless I don't want to be," I told her with a smile.

"Look, this shit with Jax and Clay…it'll pass. And, if you need to talk, you know I'm always here Gemma," I offered.

"I know, hon. Thank you. Now, let's go eat," she suggested, leading the way inside.

Gemma took her place beside Clay. I was taken aback and surprisingly pleased to see that Happy had saved me a seat next to him. I sat beside him and piled some of the delicious food onto my plate. Happy gently squeezed my thigh and smiled over at me.

A few hours later, Tara, Gemma, and I were cleaning up the dining room and kitchen. Happy and Clay were talking outside, smoking as they did so. Meanwhile, Jax had left to go home to Abel. Tara advised that she would soon follow.

With the three of us working, it didn't take long to have everything looking spic and span yet again. Gemma stepped out to have a cigarette with the guys, leaving Tara and myself alone for a few minutes.

"Hey, do you think that the two of us could get together sometime tomorrow," I asked Tara, surprising her a bit.

"Um, yeah. I mean, I don't work, so anytime is good for me," she admitted.

"I'll be at the house all day tomorrow. I'm gonna finish up painting the living room and hallway tomorrow. If you can just come by whenever you have a little time, I'd be happy to take a break and sit around and have some coffee with you," I suggested.

"Is this to have the conversation we sort of started the other day," she requested, obviously curious about what she was in for.

"Yep," I answered simply, as I dried the last dish and carefully put it away.

Before the conversation could go any further, we both looked up to see Happy entering the kitchen, leaving Gemma and Clay alone outside. Tara watched as Happy leaned against the island, directing his attention to me.

"You about ready to head out," he asked uncertainly.

"Were you waiting up for me," I asked with a teasing smile.

"Why'd you think I was still here," he asked as Tara busied herself with wiping down the counter.

"Honestly, I thought you and Clay were discussing club business or something," I admitted.

"Nope. Just waiting for you," he admitted, watching me.

"Yeah, let's go ahead and head out, then. I'd hate to keep you waiting all night," I told him as I grabbed my keys off the counter.

"Tara, you heading out too," I requested. "You should walk about with us, if so. I'm sure Jax would feel better if he knew you weren't wandering around in the dark, alone," I suggested.

"Um, yeah. Let me grab my keys," she responded, returning to the dining room to grab her keys.

* * * Tara's Point of View * * *

As Jenna put away the last plate, I watched as Happy returned from outside. He nodded toward me as a greeting before spotting Jenna and leaning against the island in the kitchen. When Jenna turned around, she spotted Happy. Immediately, I noticed the look the two of them shared.

While Jenna and I hadn't always gotten along, we had known each other for quite a long time. I couldn't ever recall Jenna looking at any man the way she looked at Happy. I didn't know Happy all that well, but from what I understood, he was typically thought of as a womanizer. The man I saw now, the way he looked at Jenna, it wasn't the look of a womanizer.

I wondered if Jenna had picked up on the way he looked at her, or even the way she looked at him. Maybe that's what she needed to talk about. Perhaps she was confused about the way she was feeling after her relationship with Kozik had ended so badly.

"You about ready to head out," Happy asked Jenna.

Were they living together? They acted like they were very close, but so distant at the same time. Anyone trying to analyze the two based on body language, could easily become confused.

"Were you waiting for me," Jenna asked him with an almost teasing smile.

I suddenly felt like I was intruding on a personal conversation.

"Why'd you think I was here," Happy asked her in return.

I turned around and grabbed a paper towel to begin wiping any water from the counter.

"Honestly, I thought you and Clay were discussing club business or something," Jenna told him, sounding surprised that he had been waiting for her.

"Nope. Just waiting for you," Happy admitted.

I smiled to myself, suddenly sensing a strange tension in the room.

"Yeah, let's go ahead and head out, then. I'd hate to keep you waiting all night," Jenna told Happy before grabbing her keys.

I got the feeling that he would wait as long as it took for her, though. I disposed of the wet paper towel when Jenna addressed me.

"Tara, you heading out, too," she asked me. "You should walk with us, if so. I'm sure Jax would feel better if he knew you weren't wandering around in the dark, alone," she added in, making a good argument.

"Um, yeah. Let me grab my keys," I responded, heading toward the dining room to grab the keys I had earlier set down.

I could hear footsteps as I grabbed my keys. And when I re-entered the kitchen, Jenna and Happy were both waiting by the door. He had his arm around her and opened the door for me to pass through first. I stepped out to see Gemma and Clay sharing a joint in silence. It must have been hard on Gemma, losing her best friend today. A very small part of me felt bad for blowing up on her earlier. I didn't regret it completely, she had, after all, messed with my job.

I heard the door shut behind me after Jenna and Happy stepped outside.

"Thank you girls for helping me out," Gemma gratefully appreciated.

"You're welcome," I responded, while Jenna told her, "any time, Gemm."

I watched as Jenna hugged Gemma. Admittedly, I was a little jealous. Gemma and Jenna seemed to have this bond that I didn't have with Jackson's mother. I was dating her son, and Gemma and I seemed to be always at odds. Jenna was one of Jax's ex-girlfriends, and there was the strange, almost mother-daughter, bond between the two.

I had always thought Gemma had wanted Jenna and Jax to be together. I had even brought this up to Jax before. He wouldn't admit it, but his expression told me everything I needed to know. I resented Jenna for this for a while. But I realized that it wasn't really her fault. She wasn't pursuing Jax. She clearly had something going on with Happy.

As Gemma and Jenna broke apart, I caught the strange stare that Clay shot Happy. It was almost like he was asking him what was going on between himself and Jenna with just his eyes.

In a few minutes, the three of us walked down Gemma's driveway. Jenna and I were both parked in the street in front of the house. Happy's bike was still in the driveway.

We stopped by my car first, where they ensured I was safely inside.

Before I got inside, I addressed Jenna's earlier request

"I'll come by tomorrow around one. Is that alright," I asked her, thinking I would bring something for lunch.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll be up early, so one is perfect," she assured me.

I could see the curious expression Happy now wore. He had to be wondering what Jenna and I were up to.

"Well, good night guys," I told them both before starting up the Cutlass.

Before I drove off, I saw Happy walk Jenna to her little white car. I smiled to myself when I saw him lean down and kiss her in my rearview mirror.


	22. 022 Fa Guan

*** I only own my own OC's. Thank you so much for the reads and reviews! Feeback, positive or negative, is always appreciated. I hope you all keep reading and, as always, enjoy! ***

* * * Back in Tacoma * * *

Kozik and Lee were sitting miserably in one of the tow trucks. Kozik was focusing on watching the guy who's car they would be repossessing. Neither man was afraid of a fight, but it always made the job run more smoothly if they could avoid it altogether. Besides, this guy was huge. Neither one of them would likely walk away unscathed. Thinking about he possibility of having to fight the small-time dealer made him think of Jenna. She used to hate it when he'd come back with the car and obvious signs of a fight.

They had been sitting outside the small apartment complex for about an hour. Apparently, this was his busy time of day, because he posted up in a lawn chair on the stoop of his shabby apartment. They saw several people come and go. They mostly looked like strung out junkies. A couple of them reminded him of himself, when he was younger. Jenna would flip if she caught Kozik going to some shady dealer for a fix. God, he missed her.

He began to wonder what Jenn was up to. Then he quickly pushed that thought away. He could only ever imagine her being held in some other guys arms. More specifically, she could only ever imagine her being held in Happy's arms. The thought made him pathetically jealous. But he couldn't help it. Even if Jenna did end up there, he detested the thought of one of his brothers being intimate with Jenna.

"Koz," Lee called, bringing Kozik out of his distracted daze.

"Yeah, what's up," Herman questioned, hoping Lee wouldn't bring up where his mind was again.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you," Lee asked knowingly.

"How the hell do you know that…every time," Kozik requested, hoping he could mask his thoughts better.

"It's like a cycle. You start off looking like you're seriously debating something. Then you look momentarily happy, wearing some goofy-ass grin. Then you look irritated. Then you usually pull out of your daze and light a cigarette," Lee explained.

"You really miss her," Lee asked, surprising Kozik.

"Of course. I just…I don't know if she'll even talk to me again after all of this," Herman admitted.

"She did try to call you, bro. Maybe that's a sign that it's okay to call," Lee began. "Koz, man, she left the ball in your court. Now you either have to run with it, or fumble," Lee advised.

"What if she's pissed that I didn't return her calls," Kozik thought out loud.

"She's not going to be pissed, Koz. I think, if anything, she'll be pleasantly surprised," Lee thought out loud.

"I think I'm just worried. I mean, what if she's happy," Kozik lamely requested.

"Koz, don't you want her to be happy," Lee asked, causing Kozik to realize how selfish his reasoning sounded.

"I do," Herman admitted, unsure of how to explain how he was feeling.

"Look, I know you wish Jenna was here, happy with you. But all in all, if she's happy, isn't that what matters," Lee inquired, watching the sizable drug dealer head back inside.

"I'll think about it," Herman decided, starting the tow truck so they could go grab the silver Audi.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I woke up, enjoying the comfort and warmth of being held in Happy's arms. I momentarily smiled to myself before getting out of the bed. I was careful not to wake Happy, deciding that he could use more rest.

I got up and threw on a pair of torn up shorts and a tank top, which already had signs of my work in the way of paint splatters. I didn't bother with shoes, and went out to the living room to finish painting the last couple walls of the living room. I finished the first of the two walls when Happy entered the living room.

I wasn't aware that he was in the living room until he appeared beside the ladder. I looked down at him to see him admiring my bare legs.

"You know, I can't wait for this project of yours to be done," he admitted as I put my paint brush down on the top of the ladder.

"Why's that," I asked, turning to face him and stepping down to the bottom-most rung.

"You aren't going to like what I say," he promised with a smirk.

"Maybe I will," I told him with a flirtatious wink.

"You asked for it. Those legs could be used much more wisely in the morning," he started.

"I guess I could start running again," I interrupted, intentionally skirting around his true intent.

"You know that's not what I meant," he told me firmly.

"Then show me," I told him in return with a smile.

Happy leaned down and kissed me, almost immediately placing his hands on my ass before sliding them down the back of my thighs and pulling me up around his waist. Hungrily, I wrapped my legs around him, deepening the kiss.

I think Happy enjoyed seeing the frustration on my face. He likely also enjoyed seeing the want in my eyes and body language. No matter how many times he pulled this, I always fell for it. I always found myself wanting more of him. Even if it was just being held in his arms or nuzzling against him as we slept.

Yet again, Happy interrupted the moment, surprising me when he set me on the kitchen counter. I must have been so caught up in…well, Happy, that I didn't even notice he was walking out of the living room.

"Why'd you stop," I asked offensively.

"I have to go into TM," he admitted.

"You know, one of these days, you'll be on the receiving end of this. And you won't like how it feels either," I challenged.

"I doubt I'll ever be on the receiving end," he responded with a smile before kissing me goodbye. "You could never say no to me," he finished with a taunting smile.

My jaw dropped as he walked away. The sad part was, I wasn't so sure he wasn't right on that. I had yet to have one instance where I wasn't, at the very least, welcoming of Happy's company.

* * * Back in Tacoma * * *

Lee and Kozik pull into the lot of Tacoma Motors with an Audi in tow…literally.

They dropped the car off before parking the tow truck and getting out with the paperwork.

"I'll go get the paperwork over to Lorca," Lee offered. "It's fifteen minutes 'til lunch, so you may as well head inside and take a load off."

"Alright. Come find me and have a beer when you and Lorca are done," Kozik responded, heading toward the clubhouse.

Herman lit a cigarette and sat on the otherwise empty patio. He was a little surprised when his phone rang. Surely everyone was already at the clubhouse. Who would be calling him at time of day? Kozik pulled out his phone and had a mild freak out when he saw Happy was the one calling.

"Hap? Is Jenn okay," he immediately blurted out, not thinking that a much more logical explanation for Happy's call existed.

"Yeah, man, she's fine. She's…doing pretty good, actually," Happy admitted.

"That's…good. So what's up, man," Herman asked, not sure he was going to like this conversation already.

"Look, man, I wanted to talk to you. I want to come to you as both a man and a brother on this. I know you aren't gonna be happy. Hell, you'll probably be fucking pissed. But I have to admit something to you, Koz," Happy began, feeling bad that he had to do this over the phone.

"Go ahead man, tell me what's going on," Herman responded, knowing that he wasn't going to like hearing what he was about to hear.

"Koz, man…I care about Jenn…a lot. You've known me for a long time, brother. Have you ever known me to even consider wanting to commit to a woman," Happy admitted.

Kozik listened in silence, wanting Happy to finish before he had input.

"I…I love her, man," Happy revealed.

"Does Jenn know," Kozik questioned, internally panicking.

"No. I mean, she knows that I care about her, but I haven't told her what I just told you," Happy admitted.

"I kind of expected this to happen," Kozik admitted. "I have to know something, Hap."

"Yeah," Happy responded, pretty sure he knew where this was going.

"I'm not gonna get mad, regardless of your answer. I just have to know. Did anything ever happen with you and Jenn when we were still together," Kozik requested, finally sober enough to hear the truth.

"No, man. I couldn't have done that to you, bro. Nothing ever happened until that night we fought," Happy revealed cautiously, not positive that Kozik could handle the truth.

"Look, I don't like this, but I don't get a say in what Jenn does. And, truthfully, a part of me expected it. She's right, I drove her right to you," Kozik commented.

"Are we cool," Happy asked, hoping he wouldn't be risking losing a friend over the only relationship he ever really wanted to happen.

"We're cool. But just so you know, I'm not giving up. I know that you know I'll be in Charming soon. I have every intention of seeing if Jenn is interested in making things work out. I'm going to do everything I can to prove to Jenn that I love her," Kozik proclaimed.

"Just so you know, I won't be throwing in the towel just because you're back in the picture, Koz," Happy admitted this time.

"See you in Charming," Kozik practically challenged.

"See you then, brother," Happy finished before the guys hung up.

* * * In Charming * * *

I finished adding the final coating of paint to the last wall. Forgetting that I should be expecting company, I jumped when I heard a knock on the door. I put away the paint brush before wiping my hands on a nearby towel.

When I opened the door, Tara was standing at the door with a couple of large bags of what smelled like Chinese food.

"You brought lunch," I said with a laugh. "You know, I've been so caught up in painting, that I kind of forgot to eat, so this is perfect," I told her, stepping aside for her to come in.

"Well, I remembered that you said you were working on the house. I figured you'd work up an appetite," Tara told her, setting the bags on the dining room table.

"I have water, soda, beer, wine…anything to drink," I asked, opening the fridge.

"Beer sounds good," Tara agreed as I grabbed a bottle.

I returned to the table with two bottles of beer, both opened, and sat across from her at the table. She was pulling out several boxes of Chinese food.

"I wasn't sure what you ate, so I grabbed a little of everything. There's steamed rice, fried rice, orange chicken, sweet and sour pork, chicken teryaki, broccoli and beef, and egg rolls," Tara explained, pointing everything out as she opened up each box.

I got back up and grabbed a couple of plates and some forks before returning to the table and sitting back in my seat. We both grabbed a little bit of everything from the boxes on the table. As we started eating and sipping out our beer, Tara started up the conversation I suddenly felt nervous about having.

"So, I think it's pretty obvious where Happy stands on the two of you. What about you? How do you feel about it," Tara questioned, watching me for my reaction.

"How is it so obvious," I asked, unable to completely hide my smile.

"Well, for one, he's very protective of you. I mean, last night when you stepped up and went to Gemma, I thought for sure that he was going to stop you, maybe worried Clay would step in," Tara observed.

"Two, he can't seem to keep his eyes off of you, and he always seems to want to touch you," Tara continued. "Not necessarily in a sexual way. I mean, last night, for example, when we were walking down the driveway…he seemed perfectly content to just have his arm around your waist. Even you have to admit that you were surprised he stuck around just to wait for you to be finished. Hell, did you see the confused look on Clay's face when he saw you two come out of the house with Happy's arm around you," she finished with a laugh.

Hearing these things made me feel much better about where Happy and I were. Originally this arrangement was set up to be more like the one I had shared with Jax at one point, a pretty basic friends with benefits situation. It seemed to be blossoming into something more. And while a part of me missed Kozik and what we once had, at least when things were good, I found myself suddenly becoming fond of the idea of being with Happy. It made it easier that Kozik wasn't around to attempt to sway me in another direction. I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't give him a chance. And I would hate myself for as long as I lived if I hurt Happy. To most people he was the guy who got things done that no one else wanted to do that liked to fuck whatever croweater or sweet butt that made herself available to him. But to me, he wasn't just my best friend, he was quickly becoming much, much more.

"This thing with Hap," I began, unsure of how to put what was going on through my brain into words. "It started out pretty simple. I mean, he's my closest friend, and he was really there for me after everything with Koz got insane. We've always kind of flirted, but it seemed really innocent until I went back to Tacoma. Even from just texting, I could tell something was…different. He was much more bold with his innuendos and flirtatious gestures."

Tara just smiled, continuing to listen as she ate.

"Then when he showed up in Tacoma, I could just feel this enormously suffocating tension. I thought I was just imagining it, like maybe I was fucked up or something. After we were…together, it kind of became like a friends with benefits sort of thing. I never once thought Happy could want more than that, until I came to Charming. Then Juice, Gemma, and now you have me wondering if maybe he does want more than just sex from me. Hell, he all but admitted it yesterday," I admitted, resuming eating.

"Yesterday," Tara asked, unaware of the conversation I had with Happy earlier in the day.

"He asked me what I wanted out of this, basically. He told me he cared about me. And he asked me if I was still in love with Herman," I revealed.

"Jenn, are you still in love with Kozik," Tara asked, looking almost shocked at the idea.

"I feel something for him, I do. And Happy knows that. I don't know, Tara. Even after Koz treated me like shit, I still care about him. I mean, I asked Tacoma to keep an eye on him for me…make sure he doesn't spiral too out of control. And I talk to Lorca every week, and he tells me how much better Koz is doing. And I feel like I'm betraying Happy just by feeling something for Herman. The worst part is, Happy doesn't seem bothered by it. He's either so confident that he will keep me, or he's just about the most understanding person I've ever met. Any other guy would be pissed, especially after all the shit Herman put me through," I told her.

"Jenna, I hate to be the heavy, but this is some dangerous territory you're in. Both guys are members of the MC. This has the potential to get really ugly, and having you caught up in the middle of it…it's just…it's a really bad idea," Tara advised.

"I know. But it's not really a problem. Herman won't talk to me, and I'm definitely not going back to Tacoma. I'll just have to work through getting over Koz, I guess," I told her.

"So, can I ask you for a favor," I asked, remembering my other topic I wanted to discuss with Tara.

"What's up," Tara asked, seeming intrigued.

"It's about Lyla, actually. I was hoping you could maybe cut her some slack," I requested.

"What is the deal with Lyla? First Jax, now you," Tara thought out loud.

"Look, I know you aren't fond of her profession. I'm not exactly thrilled about it either. But Lyla is really a sweet girl. And Opie seems to like her. I can imagine that after losing Donna, he probably never thought he would be interested in another woman. I've hung out with Lyla a few times, and I can assure you…she's not Ima. While Ima is a cocky little slut who will fuck any guy, regardless of his relationship status…Lyla has enough respect for other women to stay the hell away from a guy in a relationship, Jax included," I tried to reason.

Tara sat there in silence, allowing my words to sink in.

"Look, if you don't do it for me, or for Jackson…do it for Opie. He needs this, Tara," I practically begged.

"I'll give it some thought," Tara responded. "But right now, that's all I can promise," she admitted.

About two hours later, Tara was leaving as I stepped outside to have a cigarette.

"Thanks for coming by, and for lunch. I had fun," I admitted, lighting a cigarette as I sat on one of the chairs I had bought for outside on the porch.

"Yeah, I had fun too. We should get together again sometime," Tara suggested.

"As you can see, I'm pretty available," I told her with a laugh. "Just let me know when and where," I told her with a smile.

I watched Tara head off as I finished my cigarette. As I sat there, I thought about what I could do next. With a little help from Tara, I had finished the living room and hallway. Now I just had to wait for it to dry before I could start putting the baseboards back. I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave them white, or repaint them. So I decided I would go visit Chibs and Juice in Saint Thomas.

I quickly showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a cute, but not too cute, ¾ sleeve shirt. I knew Juice was a bit infatuated, and I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

Close to an hour later, I was entering Chibs' room. He smiled when he saw me, causing me to smile in return. I gently hugged him, worried I would hurt him if I gave him the hug he deserved.

"I heard you were back in town. I thought maybe you forgot about me," he told me with a laugh.

"Oh no, Chibs, I could never forget you. Who would bail me out when I get into trouble," I joked as I carefully sat on his bed.

"I would guess Happy would have no problems bailing you out o' there," he told me with an accusatory grin.

"What did you hear," I asked, now wondering what the guys were saying about Happy and myself.

"Just he's been staying at your place a lot, and the two of you seem very…intimate," he summed up.

"And who did you hear that from," I questioned.

"Oh, no, I'd never reveal my source. Bobby would kill me," Chibs told me with a smile.

"Yeah, I figured everyone would start gossiping soon, if they hadn't already," I admitted.

"So you're in bed with the Tacoma Killer, so to speak," Chibs teased, pretending to use a metaphor.

"Ha ha, very funny," I responded, deciding to change the subject. "How are you, Chibsy?"

"I'll be fine, darlin'. I should be out soon," he revealed.

"Good, because I could really use some of your wise advise," I admitted.

"Advice? What's on your mind, Jenn," he questioned curiously.

I explained to Chibs how I felt about Happy. Then I explained my lingering feelings for Herman. I also mentioned how Happy knew about these feelings and still managed to be supportive.

"Oh, geez, Jenn. You've managed to get yourself into a sticky situation," Chibs admitted, processing a lot.

"Yeah, I have a tendency to do that," I reminded him.

"Well, I can't give you any real advice on this one, love. The best things I can tell you, is to prepare for war. Regardless of how either man feels about you, or the other man, that's what's coming," Chibs warned.

"That's what I was afraid of," I admitted.

Before I knew it, I was walking into Juice's room. He was obviously surprised, and pleased, to see me.

"Oh, hey, Jenn," he greeted, shooting that handsomely goofy grin at me.

"Hey, Juice," I responded, hugging him, still being careful not to hurt him.

"I brought you something," I admitted.

"Oh yeah," he asked, noticeably intrigued.

I pulled a small black bag from my purse. He seemed thrilled at the idea that I had brought him something. It was kind of cute, actually.

"I thought you might be having withdrawals, so I smuggled something in," I vaguely referenced.

"Jenn, I can't smoke weed in a hospital," he responded.

"Not smoke, Juice," I told him, handing him the bag. "Just open the bag," I practically ordered.

I watched as Juice pulled a Nintendo DS out of the bag, followed by several games.

"Now, I know this isn't an Xbox, but I figured it could hold you over," I told him with a smile.

"Is this yours," he asked, eyeing the modest game collection.

"Yeah. Those are a few of my all-time favorite Nintendo games," I admitted.

"This is awesome! Thanks, Jenn," he responded, hugging me again.

"You're welcome," I told him with a laugh. "How are you feeling," I asked, hoping he would be out soon.

"Pain meds, nurses, mindless television…I could definitely be worse off," he told me with a smile. "What about you," he asked in return.

"I'm good. I've spent a lot of time fixing up my dad's house. I'm about halfway done with the living room. Just have to put in the new flooring and the baseboards, then get some furniture," I explained.

"Has Hap been helping you out," Juice asked, suddenly making things awkward.

"Do you really want to talk about Happy," I asked, sounding a bit more harsh than I had originally intended.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up," he apologized, looking down now.

"Juice," I address him, gently forcing him to look at me again by nudging his chin with my hand. "I really don't want to lose you as a friend. Please don't let whatever's going on between Happy and me ruin our friendship."

He watched me momentarily before smiling. Before any more could be said, I heard my phone go off. I looked down to see that Gemma was calling.

"Shit. I have to take this. And since it's Gemma, I'd say it's likely that I will have to head out. So, hurry up and get better…get out of here…and come smoke and play some games with me," I told him quickly, hugging him as I answered the phone.

"Hey, Gemm," I greeted. "Hang on just a sec."

I kissed Juice on the cheek as I backed toward the door.

"Stay out of trouble, Ortiz," I teased as I backed out of the door, smiling at him.

Once I was out of the room, I put the phone back to my ear.

"What's up, Gemm," I asked, slowly walking down the hallway toward the exit.

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but I wanted to give you a heads up. I overheard Happy talking to Jax a few minutes ago. He mentioned that he talked to Kozik over the phone this morning," Gemma warned.

"Shit. Did Happy seem pissed," I asked, quickening my pace.

"That's what threw me off, honey. He didn't look pissed at all," Gemma admitted. "I didn't catch any of what he conversation was about, one of the damn croweaters walked up and scared the hell out of me. Just get up here," Gemma explained.

"I'm on my way," I promised, quickly hanging up.

In about fifteen minutes, I pulled into the parking lot of TM. Forcing myself to appear calm, I approached Jax, who was sitting at one of the picnic tables. He was smoking a joint. I sat beside him, prompting him to offer me a hit. Appreciatively, I accepted.

"Where's Hap," I asked, attempting to seem nonchalant.

"He left. He said he was heading to your place," Jax told me, accepting the joint back.

"Did he say anything to you about talking to Kozik," I asked, hoping I wouldn't give Gemma away with my questioning.

Jackson seemed surprised, likely not expecting me to know about the call. Of course, I shouldn't know about the call, so he was right to be suspicious.

"Have you talked to Happy or Kozik," Jax requested.

"No," I admitted.

"How did you know about them talking," he asked, flashing the smile that forced so many women to swoon over him.

"Jackson Teller, you tell me what the hell is going on. What did they talk about," I asked, more urgent in my tone now.

"I can't tell you that, Jenn. That conversation was between brothers. You need to go to your place and talk to Happy," Jax told me with an almost mocking laugh.

"Ugh, I'll remember this next time you need something, Jax," I promised.

He smiled up at me as I got to my feet.

"Look, at least tell me if I'm going to need a bottle of tequila to kill this night," I asked, showing obvious concern.

"Hon, you'll be fine. Go talk to Happy," he all but ordered.

Quickly, I returned to my car, lighting a cigarette. As soon as I made it home, I pulled into the driveway and quickly shut the car off. Anxiously, I dashed inside.

I came to a complete stop when I saw the living room was empty.

"Hap," I called out to him.

"Out back," he answered, making me wonder what he was up to.

Once I made it to the porch, I found myself surprised. Happy had been helping me. He was staining the new baseboards with the wood staining liquid I had decided on.

"I heard you talked to Koz," I commented, curious to see if my knowledge surprised him.

"I did," he answered vaguely, not looking surprised in the least.

I knew, at this point, that he wasn't going to volunteer anything. I had to ask. It always surprised me that one of the quietest people I knew was the most encouraging of communication. I decided that he used the tactic to read people. Based on what you say, how you say it, and how you act when you say it…well, it can really reveal quite a bit about a person. Besides, if you say what you want, rather than having men guess at it, it makes life for both sexes much easier.

"What did you talk about," I asked, leaning against the house.

"You," he honestly admitted, continuing to stain the baseboards.

"I'm not sure if that's good or bad," I admitted, watching him.

"I'd say good. He's thinking more clearly now, for one. He knows nothing happened between us while you two were together. And we managed to make a few things clear between the two of us. And…we aren't killing each other," Happy explained.

"What do you mean make a few things clear," I asked, unsure of the kind of conversation that would have been.

"He told me he wasn't giving up on you. I made it pretty clear that I wasn't either," Happy revealed, watching me now.

I couldn't ever recall surprising Happy. But I think if I ever did, it was when I took the paint brush out of his hand and set it down. He gave me a confused stare. And I kissed him. He almost immediately wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. After several moments, he broke the kiss to question me.

"What was that for," Happy asked with a pleased smile.

"You easily could have given up on me, Hap. I'm kind of accustomed to that, actually. But you haven't. And I really hope that you don't," I admitted.

Three hours later, Happy and I were laying on the futon, which he often reminded me was uncomfortable. I laid against his chest, running my fingers gently across his abdomen. He watched me, simply relaxing as we lay covered in a film of sweat.

I jumped when his phone rang, causing him to laugh at me. Without forcing me off of him, he reached down and grabbed his phone.

"Hey," Happy answered.

I continued to lay there, waiting for him to finish.

"Yeah, alright. I'm gonna take a shower and I'll be right there," Happy promised.

I wasn't sure what was said on the other end, but Happy finished the conversation with, "fuck you, Bobby. You just wish it was you on my end of the phone, fucker."

It was obvious that Happy was joking, as he spoke in a playful manner. He hung up the phone, dropping it on the floor.

"I have to take a shower, and head out, Jenn," Happy revealed, prompting me to sit up.

"Mind if I join you," I asked, smiling at him.

"I was hoping you would," he responded, pulling me toward the shower.


	23. 023 Balm

*** I only own my own OC's. Thanks again for the reads and reviews! Keep 'em coming. Enjoy! ***

The house was quickly coming together. With some unexpected help from Happy, the living room was finally complete. Now I was just waiting on the furniture I ordered. While I waited on the furniture, I began painting the bathroom and spare bedroom.

Now, however, was downtime from working on the house. I was waiting on furniture and paint to dry. So instead, I found myself helping Gemma out at TM. Today was one of my days at TM. While Gemma was out handling some personal business, I was working in the office.

I wasn't sure what was going on, but something huge was happening in the MC. Happy had left in a pretty big hurry late last night, and I hadn't seen him since. I knew he was at the clubhouse, because I saw his bike. I assumed they were in church.

After an hour of working, I was a bit surprised when Happy came into the office. He wore a concerned and slightly agitated expression.

"Is everything alright," I asked, getting to my feet and walking around the desk.

"Shit's getting pretty tense around here. When do you think you'll be able to head out of here," Happy asked, obviously wanting to talk to me when he was sure we were completely alone.

"Well, luckily there isn't much to do here. I can probably get out in about an hour," I told him. "Will you be okay for that long?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna head over to your place. I need something to do, so I'm gonna start the new baseboards for the spare bedroom and bathroom," he decided.

"Okay, babe. I'll be there as soon as I get all these filed away and call on these," I told him as he pulled me in for a quick kiss.

Forty-five minutes later, I pulled into the driveway. Quickly, I cut through the house, grabbing a couple beers from the fridge, and found Happy out back. He was taking a break from staining the baseboards and having a cigarette.

"What's going on, Hap? Are you alright," I asked, genuinely concerned.

It wasn't often that Happy admitted something was bothering him, so when he did, I took it very seriously. I would do anything to make him my Happy again.

I handed him a beer as he started, "it's this shit with Jax and Clay. It's tearing SAMCRO apart. Jax is talking Nomad, Jenn."

"What," I asked, showing my disbelief. "Jackson can't go Nomad, Hap."

"I know. He isn't going to listen to me, though. I was actually hoping that maybe you could talk to him. I mean, you two are old friends. I doubt it would help, but it's worth a shot," Happy explained.

"I'll head back up to TM and see if I can catch him. But first, I'm going to make sure you're fine," I admitted.

"I'll be fine, Jenn. I guess I just needed to vent. Good news is Chibs is getting out soon, Juice too," Happy told me.

"That is good news. I can get my DS back from Juice," I joked.

"About that. What's the deal with you and Juice," Happy asked, for the first time I could ever remember, appearing jealous.

"Juice and I are just friends, Hap. Are…are you jealous," I asked him, smirking at him.

"I'm not jealous," he responded, getting a bit defensive. "Look, I'm just saying…innocent flirting can definitely turn into something more," Happy warned.

I smiled at him accusatorily, "I suppose you would know."

I stood beside him now. He downed he last bit of his beer before responding.

"Jenna, you have to admit…you and I started out as innocent flirting. It's very likely the other relationships you've had started out the same way," Happy pointed out as I finished my beer.

"You seem stressed, Hap," I pointed out.

"A little, maybe," he answered, unsure of where I was going with this.

"Baby, I know an amazing cure for stress," I told him with a smile. "Let me cure you," I added with a wink.

A couple of hours later, Happy and I had showered and changed. He headed back up to the clubhouse, while I hoped to run into Gemma in her office. When I pulled into the lot, I saw that her car was there.

"Hey, honey. Were you here earlier," she asked after greeting me.

"Yeah, I was here this morning. Hap needed to get out of here for a bit, so I got everything done here and cut out," I admitted.

"I take it you heard about Jax and this Nomad bullshit," Gemma questioned.

"Yeah. Happy asked me to talk to him," I revealed.

"So you're talking to Jackson, then," Gemma asked hopefully.

"I don't think Jax will listen to me, but I'm going to try," I explained.

"Thank you, Jenn…for everything," she appreciated with a hug.

We both sat on the small sofa in her office. Gemma eagerly changed the topic.

"So, did you ever talk to Happy about his conversation with Herman," she wondered.

"I did," I answered.

"And," she asked expectantly.

"Well, Happy made it clear that he isn't giving up on me," I admitted, smiling.

"Well, that's good, sweetie. You know, I don't think that I've seen you this happy in a while," Gemma commented.

"I'm a little concerned though, Gemm. Hap also mentioned that Herman isn't giving up either," I revealed.

"Well, you aren't going back to Tacoma, are you," Gemma inquired.

"No. Definitely not. I've actually been talking to Lorca about seeing if he could help me sell both mine and my dad's houses," I told her.

"Then you have nothing to worry about. Kozik can't try to fix things long-distance," Gemma pointed out. "I have a hard time seeing you putting up with that shit."

"Yeah, true. Hey, you need any help with anything," I requested, hoping to chance the topic.

"Well, I was gonna clean up around here, if you want to help with that," Gemma offered.

After about an hour and a half, Gemma, Half Sack, and I were finishing up cleaning. I heard someone giggle and looked over to see Happy taking a break. One of the tarty little blondes was shamelessly flirting with him. It bothered me a little, but I couldn't show my jealousy. For one, I obviously flirted with Juice. While it was innocent flirting, at least on my part, it would make me a complete hypocrite. Besides, I knew Happy wouldn't put up with that jealousy cat fight bullshit. I couldn't blame him either. Beating up some whore wasn't worth my time, and it's not like he was fucking her. I decided to brush it off, go outside, and smoke.

I sat at one of the tables. I watched as everyone was closing up for the day. Gemma sat beside me.

"You gonna let that little slut push up on your man," Gemma questioned, lighting a cigarette.

"It's just flirting, Gemma. It's not a big deal," I reasoned.

She laughed a little before responding, "hell, you really have changed. You know, five years ago, you would have beat the hell out of that little bitch. Things start out small, and can turn into something more. Look at you and Happy. I'd bet a million bucks it started off as innocent flirting."

"Hap isn't my property. I can't control what he's gonna do. I just have to hope that he cares enough about me to keep it at flirting. I flirt with Juice, but you don't see Happy getting all bent out of shape," I reminded her.

"Yeah, well, keep your eye on the blonde. It may just be flirting to you or to Happy, but that whore has one thing in mind…to convince one of these boys that she'd be a good old lady," she warned.

"Yeah, alright," I agreed, hoping Gemma would drop the subject.

Gemma left me to my thoughts, which were quickly interrupted by the vibration of my phone in my back pocket. I pulled out my phone, and was amazed when I saw that I had a message from Kozik. Reluctantly, I opened the message.

"Would it be alright if I called you," Herman requested.

I thought before responding, unsure of how I really felt about this.

"Give me about two hours," I agreed.

I went inside and grabbed my keys.

"You heading out," Gemma asked.

"Yeah. I wanted to talk to Jax before it gets too late. Can you let Happy know," I asked before heading out the door.

Twenty minutes later, I pulled up to Jackson's house. I wasn't sure why, but for some reason, having this conversation with Jax didn't seem like such a good idea. I knocked on the door and only had to wait a moment for Jax to answer.

"Hey, Jenn," he greeted, surprised to see me on his doorstep.

"Hey, Jax. Can I come in for a bit," I asked, hoping I could get this conversation over quickly with minimal damage to our friendship.

"Yeah, everything okay," he asked, stepping aside to let me in.

"I should be asking you that," I responded as I sat on the sofa next to him. "I heard that you want to go Nomad."

"I expected Gemma showing up to try talking me out of it, but not you, Jenn. I figured you, of all people, would understand this," Jax defended.

"Understand this? Jax, you're talking about leaving SAMCRO. You're talking about going Nomad. That's not exactly something I would compare to me leaving Tacoma to return to Charming," I retorted.

"I can't do this anymore, Jenn. Not with Clay," he admitted.

"Jackson…I know you can hold on. Think logically. Use that big brain of yours. Clay's hands are pretty close to being shot completely. Once those damn shots he takes stop working, you're the Pres. You can run the club in whatever direction you want," I tried to reason.

He didn't say anything. But I could see that he was being his usual stubborn self. I sighed in frustration.

"Just, at least think about it, Jax," I practically begged.

"I'll think it over, Jenn. But only because you're asking me to. I won't promise anything though," Jax compromised.

"I'll take that," I agreed with a smile. "And I'll get out of your hair now…I have something I have to take care of anyway," I said as I got to my feet.

Jax stood and walked me to the door. He opened the door and pulled me in for a hug.

"Thanks, Jenn," he appreciated.

"Thanks? For what," I asked, confused.

"For always having my back. For as long as I can remember, you've always worried, taken care of, and been there for me," he explained.

"You're my oldest friend, Jackson. I will always worry about you. I love you, hon," I admitted, pecking him on the cheek.

"Love you, too, Jenn," he told me as he walked me to my car.

Thirty minutes later, I finished staining baseboards. My work paused long enough for me to answer my phone. I continued to work throughout the conversation.

"Hey," I answered uncertainly.

"Hey," Koz responded, his jovial demeanor taking me by surprise.

"You, um, wanted to talk," I asked.

"Yeah. Um, how are you," he began, unsure of where to start.

"I'm good. You," I asked in return.

"I'm alright. Been working a lot, actually," he responded.

"I'm sure you've heard by now that Happy and I talked," he volunteered.

"Yeah, I did," I admitted lamely. "Do you hate me," I asked more boldly now.

"What? Hate you?! No, Jenn, I don't hate you," Herman assured me.

"I figured you would because I ended up with Hap. And after that fight back in Tacoma, I was pretty sure you'd hate me," I explained.

"No. I have no right to hate or be mad at you, or whatever. You were right, Jenn. I pushed you away and right to Happy," Koz admitted.

Things got silent for a moment. It was a very strange silence. Herman finally spoke up.

"I miss you, Jenn," Herman admitted.

"I miss you too, Koz," I responded.

"Jenn, if I wanted to really try to make things work between us, would you consider coming back to Tacoma," Koz questioned hopefully.

"No, Koz. I can't move back to Tacoma. There's too many bad memories back in Tacoma. Besides, now that I'm back in Charming, I actually feel like I'm at home…like I belong," I responded firmly.

"I, uh, I told Hap that I wasn't going to give up on you, Jenn. I meant it," Herman confided. "But I really have to know one thing, Jenn."

"What's that," I asked, stopping my work and lighting a cigarette.

"Do I even have the slightest chance," Koz asked, obvious hope in his tone.

"I don't know. I mean, I do still have feelings for you. But I figured that would fade with time. And I'm not going to lie or sugar coat anything for you, Koz. I've been really happy lately…with Hap," I tried to explain my confusion.

Another uncomfortable silence.

"If we're being honest, Herman…I kind of wish you would give up on me. As far as I was concerned, you already had. Going through that a second time…I can't do that again," I admitted.

"You won't have to, babe," he tried to assure me.

"Look, I have to go. I have to finish these baseboards so they'll be dry by the time I'm done with the flooring," I told him, hoping to end the conversation quickly.

"Oh, alright. I'll, uh, I'll talk to you later then," Herman finished.

"Bye," I said before finally hanging up.

In an hour and a half, I was finished staining the rest of the baseboards.

"You alright," Happy asked from the doorway, surprising me.

"Yeah. I just have too much on my mind, I guess," I admitted, stepping inside with him.

He followed me to the dining table and sat beside me.

"You gonna tell me what's bothering you," he asked expectantly.

"Honestly, I figured I'd be up working on this house all night, working through everything in my head," I admitted, lighting a cigarette. "I don't sleep well alone in the house."

"Jenn, I'm here just about every night, why wouldn't I be here tonight," he asked, quickly putting things together. "You think I was gonna stay at the clubhouse with the blonde I saw you shoot a death glare at?"

"The thought obviously crossed my mind," I admitted sheepishly, unaware of my previous death glare.

"Jenna…just so you know, I was only talking to her. And…I haven't been with anyone else since you," he surprised me as he admitted.

"Really," I asked, feeling a bit stupid now.

"Look, I saw how you were after Koz started fucking around with the sweet butts. I decided, after that night in Tacoma, that regardless of whatever our arrangement was, that I wouldn't sleep with anyone else while you and I had something going on. You trust me, Jenn. I'm not fucking that up. Now, is that all that's bothering you," he asked more sternly.

"Not exactly. But do you think that maybe we could talk in the morning? I'm kind of exhausted. I really just want to lay with you and watch a movie," I admitted.

He smiled in response and took my hand as he lead me toward the hated futon and what was currently the only television in the house. 


	24. 024 Service

*** I only own my own OC's. Thank you again for the reads and reviews. I love seeing the feedback, hopes and wishes for Jenn, Hap, Koz, etc. Hope you enjoy! ***

I woke up the next morning laying against Happy. I loved the warmth and comfort of waking up next to him. Careful not to wake him, I slipped off of the futon and grabbed my pack of cigarettes. I sat in the old rocking chair that Happy had pulled out of the shed out back. I mentioned how I was hoping to find the rocking chair, since it had been around since my birth, and he took the initiative to surprise me by finding it, cleaning it off, and placing it in my room a few days ago.

I lit a cigarette and smoked as I watched him sleep. I really did love waking up to see him beside me. His presence was always comforting. I watched as he rolled over, searching to place his arm around me. He snapped awake when he realized that I was no longer next to him. His eyes searched the room and soon landed on me. I put out the cigarette butt while he motioned for me to return to bed.

I could be perfectly content with laying curled up with him all day. But I knew that wasn't likely to happen. I knew he had to deal with some club business, and I had carpet to install in the spare room, as well as replacing the baseboards.

I crawled back onto the futon, allowing him to wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer.

"You told me we'd talk today about what's on your mind. So spill," he reminded me.

I sighed, hoping he had forgotten. I should have known better. He was always pushing for me to open up, constantly reminding me that bottling things up could only do harm.

"You thought I'd forget," he asked with a teasing smile.

"Hoped, really," I admitted. "For one, I talked to Jax. Whatever's going on between him and Clay…he's had enough of it. I seriously doubt I'll have made him change his mind, but he said he would think it over more," I explained.

"That all," Happy requested, sensing that there was more.

"I, uh, spoke to Kozik yesterday," I admitted.

"And," he asked, curious about what direction the conversation went.

"He asked me if there was a chance of me coming back to Tacoma," I revealed, quickly adding in my response, "I told him no."

"You don't have to tell me about this if you don't want to, Jenn," Happy reminded me.

"No, I want to," I assured him.

"He told me that he had no intentions of giving up on us. He asked if he even had a chance," I revealed.

Before Happy could ask the same question, I continued.

"I told him that I wasn't sure. I told him that while I still had some feelings for him, I figured that they would fade with time," I began my explanation.

"I also told him that I'm actually happy here…with you. And I told him that I kind of hoped he would give up…I already thought he had, and I can't deal with all the bullshit again," I told Happy.

"Damn," he commented. "Do you think he will?"

"Probably not. He's too damn stubborn," I admitted.

"Are you mad," I asked, wondering what he thought about my conversation with Kozik.

"No. Why would I be mad? You've been pretty up front with me about everything, Jenn. Now I know that I just have to keep making you happy," he finished before kissing my forehead.

"What do you mean," I requested.

"Whether you see it or not, you're in love with me, Jenn. I just have to make you realize and admit it," he told me, brushing my hair away from my face.

"I love you, Hap, I do. But the stupid part of me still loves Koz, too. I just figure it will take some time to get over it," I admitted, watching his face in hopes that he wouldn't get mad.

"You may love both of us, Jenn, but you're in love with me. One way or another, I'll make you see that," Happy promised, kissing my lips.

Before the conversation could go on, or the kissing could progress to something more, we were interrupted by the doorbell. We were both surprised, unsure of who could be stopping by.

"I'll get the door while you get dressed," Happy advised, pulling a pair of jeans and one of his SAMCRO shirts on.

"What? People don't answer the door in just a t-shirt anymore," I joked, heading toward the closet.

"If you're answering the door in just one of my t-shirts, it better be me on the other side of the door," he told me with a warning gaze.

The doorbell rang again.

"You think I'm scared of you, Happy Lowman," I teased as he approached.

"You should be," he responded with a wink before smacking my ass and disappearing down the hallway.

I quickly threw on some jeans, a tank top, and a pair of Converse before heading out to see who stopped by. I was a bit surprised to see the door wide open and Happy making a pot of coffee.

"The furniture you ordered is here," he revealed. "They're bringing it in now."

"Shit. I wasn't expecting it for a couple more days. I'm not done with the floor or baseboards in the living room," I slightly panicked.

"We'll finish it up, then move everything in there today," he calmly assured me.

"I thought you were meeting Clay and the guys at the clubhouse," I questioned.

"I was. I called Clay real quick and let m him know I would be by later. If they really need me, they'll call," he revealed.

I smiled, "so you're staying to help me?"

"Yep," he told me, pulling out two mugs for our coffee.

"You really want me to get rid of that futon, don't you," I joked.

"Definitely," he responded, pouring us each a cup of coffee.

Over the next few hours, Happy helped me put in the new carpet for the spare bedroom, replace the baseboards, and move all the bedroom furniture in. Once we were finally finished, we stepped outside for a smoke break.

"So, I talked to Clay earlier," Happy began the conversation.

"Yeah. You told him you would be in late," I remembered our earlier conversation.

"Right. Well, he also told me that he called Tacoma for some back up. Koz will be here soon," Happy revealed.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"You alright," he questioned, noticing the anxiety in my expression.

"I dunno. I guess I may be avoiding the clubhouse and TM while he's here," I admitted.

"Jenn, you don't need to avoid Koz because of me," Happy assured.

"I know you would never ask me to do that, Hap. I want to. Like I said before, I kind of want him to give up, and not giving him the opportunity would be helpful in that cause," I admitted.

"Why don't you see if you still feel that way after you see him," Happy suggested.

"Are you secretly trying to get Koz and I back together," I asked, half-serious.

"I just don't want you to regret not seeing him. This could easily be a 'what if' situation you think about years from now," Happy pointed out.

"You have a lot of these," I asked curiously.

"A few," he admitted. "You?"

"Don't we all," I responded. "What's one of yours?"

"Well, back when I was in Tacoma and actually spending most of my time there, there was this sexy little blonde who happened to be the boss' daughter. Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I had spoken up back then. You know, aside from dodging the bullets flying at me from Billy," he revealed, laughing at the last bit.

"What about you," Happy asked in return, smiling when he noticed my smile.

"What? Oh, no way. You said something super sweet. Mine may not be so sweet," I admitted.

"It doesn't have to be about me, Jenn," Happy assured me.

"Well, for a while, not recently, of course, I wondered how different things would be if I hadn't smashed in the porn slut's face and stayed in Charming. I don't really wonder about that anymore. I mean, I think things would have been very different. God forbid, I may have ended up Jax's old lady. We would have killed each other, probably. And I'm sure I still would have met you, but I think it would be under very different circumstances," I admitted.

"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it," he teased.

"No. But just so you know, I haven't wondered about that since I first went back to Tacoma," I assured him.

"Good to know," he told me before glancing at his phone.

"I should meet the guys, babe. I'll help you finish rearranging the furniture as soon as I get back," he promised.

"Alright. Stay out of trouble," I said with a smile.

He kissed me one last time before heading off to the clubhouse. I decided I would do a little rearranging in the living room, as well as setting up the entertainment center. Putting the damn thing together was easy enough and thankfully distracting. It was once I started unpacking that my mind began to wander.

Koz would be here soon. I knew he would try to fix things if I gave him a chance. I just wouldn't give him one then. I part of me was terrified that I would once again become captivated by him. Lorca had even mentioned over the phone that he almost seemed back to his old self.

Happy had been so good to me. The last thing I wanted was to ruin things with him because I realized how much I missed Koz. I missed what we had before everything that happened with the Mayans and dad's death.

I even found myself dreading when Koz and Happy came face to face. What if they ended up in that ring? I couldn't stop that. Last time they saw each other, they ended up in a parking lot brawl. I was really worried about how having Herman here would work out. And if things were really as bad as Happy led me to believe, there's a chance that he could be here for a decent amount of time.

I decided I needed to talk to someone. The only person I trusted to give an honest, unbiased opinion was Jackson.

I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey, Jenn," what's going on," he greeted.

"Hey, Jax. Do you think I could meet up with you? I really need to talk to someone… And I need someone who can shoot straight with me," I asked hopefully.

"Yeah. You alright," he asked, sounding worried.

"I'm okay. I'm just kind of freaking out. I'll explain more when I see you. Where should we meet," I asked.

"Why don't I come to you. You at home," he suggested.

"Yeah. I'll see you in a few then," I requested, hoping he'd be here soon.

"Yeah. I'm leaving Tara's now. I'll be over in five," he told me.

"You coming over here isn't going to cause problems for you and Tara, is it," I asked, wondering if Jackson being along with me bothered her.

"No. I was kind of surprised when she told me, no offense, but Tara likes you, Jenn," he revealed with a laugh.

Five minutes later, Jax and I were in my living room. After seeing the scatter of furniture and the unpacked boxes I had dragged from my bedroom, he offered to help me rearrange and unpack while we talked.

"So what's on your mind, hon," Jax questioned as he carried the television to the entertainment center.

"Well, I'm sure you know that Kozik is coming down from Tacoma," I began, unpacking my movies and games to organize on the entertainment center.

"Yeah, I heard. I wondered how that would work out when I first heard about it," he admitted, plugging in the television.

I slid him the box of consoles to hook up next.

"Fuck, Jenn, you have enough game shit," he commented.

"I like to stay busy," I reminded him with a smile.

"Anyway, you were saying about Koz coming down," he reminded me.

"Yeah…so, I'm anxious about the whole thing. Happy has admitted that he has no plans of giving up on me. He knows there's still feelings for Koz, but he overlooks that. Koz told me he isn't giving up. And I wouldn't be surprised that when Clay called Tacoma for back up, that Kozik probably volunteered to come down here. I admitted to Hap that I love him, and that a part of me still loves Koz. I keep telling myself that those feelings for Koz will fade over time, but I really have no way of knowing that for sure," I began, allowing everything to flood out.

Jax continued arranging and hooking up the consoles as I went on.

"This morning Happy told me that I may love both of them, but that I was in love with him, and that he was going to prove it," I revealed.

Jackson stopped and looked down at me as I sat on the floor, pulling more stuff from the box.

"He said that," Jax asked, his expression confusing me.

He didn't seem quite surprised, but I couldn't exactly decide how to describe the meaning of his expression.

"Yeah," I answered slowly, standing to place more stuff in one of the cabinets of the entertainment center. "Why," I asked curiously.

"No, it's just…I've never heard Happy talk about things like love and relationships. I guess it kind of threw me off," Jax responded.

I wasn't quite sure I completely bought the explanation. I decided not to look to much into it since my mind was already insane with anxiety.

"Well, when Happy told me that Koz would be here soon, I suggested my decision to stay away from the clubhouse and TM while he was here. I didn't want to give Koz the opportunity to make a move. But Happy told me that I shouldn't avoid him. He seemed to think it might be a decision I regret later," I admitted.

"You might," Jax agreed. "You want my opinion on this, right?"

"Of course," I told him.

"I saw you when you were with Koz. You were happy, Jenn. You two had good chemistry, and up to that point, I had never seen you more happy. But at the same time, I never saw you look more…domesticated. Seeing you back in Tacoma playing the good, sweet girlfriend…it wasn't you. Not that you aren't either of those things. But be honest with yourself, Jenn. You haven't felt like yourself in years. Returning to Charming brought out the real you, the part of you that Billy tried to repress so you'd stay out of trouble. No disrespect to your old man, Jenn, but I think he wanted you domesticated to try and keep you away from guys in the club," Jax observed.

"He approved of Koz though," I reminded Jax.

"Yeah, he approved of Koz because Kozik is a manageable guy. Your dad never liked it when you and I were together. He hated that we ran around doing whatever the fuck we wanted, especially if it involved getting into trouble. That's natural though, he was just trying to protect you. Kozik isn't the kind of guy who would stand up to your father, out of respect. I, on the other hand, didn't give a shit," Jax explained.

"I guess I never thought of it like that," I admitted.

"Your dad would have flipped if he saw you with Happy. Happy definitely would have told him to fuck off if he continued trying to mold you into what he wanted you to be," Jax said with a laugh.

"I could definitely see that. Happy's pretty protective, just not in the overbearing way like dad was," I thought out loud.

"I see you with Happy, Jenna, and I really have to say…other than when you're worry about the Koz versus Happy saga, I've never seen you in a better place. You seem more yourself than I've seen in years. And not only does Happy accept who you are, he loves it. You're both fucking crazy, just maybe in different ways. And I think I can safely say that I don't think I've ever seen Happy better than when he's with you," Jax observed again.

I allowed everything Jackson told me to sink in as we finished unpacking the boxes and arranging the living room. I had one more thing I needed to do before the day was over, but it was something I would have to do alone. So I was very grateful for Jax's help getting the living room set up.

Once we were finished, we shared a joint as we joked around a bit on the porch.

"Hey, thanks for listening earlier," I appreciated.

"I'm always here when you need me, Jenn. You just have to call," he assured me. "So what else do you have on the agenda today," he asked curiously.

"Well, I was gonna stop by the cemetery for a bit, then come back here and work on the spare bedroom," I admitted. "Thanks for your help with the living room, too. This place is finally starting to come together," I told him.

"No prob. Let me know if there's anything else," he volunteered, getting to his feet.

He grabbed my hand to help me to mine.

"Well, I guess I should head over there now. If I wait too much longer, it'll be dark. Not really looking forward to entering a dark cemetery again," I thought out loud.

"Alright, hon. Let me know if you need anything, okay," Jax said as he hugged me.

"Will do," I agreed with a smile.

Before long, I was sitting against my father's head stone. I had briefly stopped by mom's and spoke to her momentarily before leaving her the first bundle of flowers. The second bundle now sat in my lap, ready to leave at my dad's.

"Been a while, huh? I left Lorca in charge of Tacoma Motors. He's super smart, dad, so he's doing really well. I'm fixing up the house here in Charming. It's been kind of fun, actually. I think you and I should have made a project of this years ago. Then again, you've been squirreling money away for years, so it probably wouldn't have the proper funding if we had. I'll be adding the finishing touch to the living room soon. I think you'll like it. Lee and Kell got engaged," I rambled through everything I could think of.

"She seems like a nice girl, so hopefully that'll work out for Lee. Last time I was here, I told you how I messed things up with Koz. You probably would be surprised by it, but I kind of was…Hap has been super supportive of me during this whole situation. You probably wouldn't like this either, but I've found myself very…fond of Happy, to say the least. He's a great guy, and ironically very promoting of communication," I finished with a laugh.

"I guess some Kozik versus Happy shit is working it's way to Charming. Not really sure how to handle it, but I imagine I'll find my way through. I think if you were here now, you might be pleasantly surprised to see how well things are going. You know, aside from Koz coming down to Charming. Is it fucked that I'm hoping he just ignores me or something. Hell, if he hated me, it would make this easier," I commented.

"I talked to Jackson about this earlier. Again, you might not agree, but he gave me some pretty good insight on the whole thing. I do still wish you were here. While your opinion might be a bit biased, I still wish I could hear it. Maybe you could give me a sign or something, dad," I finished.

A gust of wind suddenly blew through, knocking something onto my head. I reached up to feel that a bouquet of flowers hit me in the head. It must have been resting on top of the head stone, and I guess with all of my distractions I missed noticing it. I looked at the bouquet…white roses.

"What the…" I commented, noticing a letter wrapped around the bouquet underneath the rubber band.

I contemplated pulling the letter off. It read "Billy" on the envelope, so I knew it was in the right place. My curiosity got the better of me, and I carefully pulled the envelope out from around the bundle of stems.

When I recognized the writing, I suddenly became nervous about opening the letter. I glanced around the cemetery to see if anyone was around. I was still alone. I decided to just open the letter and ready the contents.

Hey Billy,

I know it's been a while. Your wake to be exact. Since you last saw me, I've become a much bigger idiot than the one you trusted to be left with Jenn. I was going through some things and found your letter, which is why I'm writing this one. As ashamed as I am of it, I think it's safe to say that I let you down. I haven't taken care of Jenn at all. I was such an idiot and an asshole to her. Sorry I let you down, Bill.

I do miss her. I miss her a lot. Maybe she would have been better off if I had taken her place with the Mayans rather than you. She really needed someone to be there for her, and I didn't do that. You would have. And I don't know if it's the best or worst case scenario that one of my closest friends was there for her instead. I mean, I'm glad someone was there to be there for her. I'm just pissed at myself that it wasn't me.

Hell, I think if you were still here, you would have kept us together. You probably would have kicked my ass for the way I treated her, then told me to man up and make it up to her.

I don't know how, but I have every intention of getting her back. Hell, that's if she'll even give me a chance. It's been made pretty clear to me that she's in a very good place now that she's with Happy.

I guess I'm glad he's been a good friend to her through everything. Not super fond of the fact that he's practically living with her. Shit…maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you that.

Oh well, you'd find out sooner or later, I suppose.

Sorry again, Bill. I hope I can turn this around.

Koz


	25. 025 The Culling

* * * Sorry for the delay. The holidays have been keeping me busy and I've had a little trouble writing this chapter. Hopefully I'll be back in the groove with things soon. Thank you for all the reads and reviews! Enjoy, and as always, I only own my own OC's. * * *

* * * Happy's Point of View * * *

"Alright, everyone take some time to round everyone up. We're going on lockdown. I expect everyone back here by three. It's about eleven now, so let's get moving," Clay announced.

Everyone got up and started for the door. I noticed Kozik heading outside and moved to catch up with him.

"Where are you going," I asked, wondering if my inkling was just paranoia or not.

"I'm going to get Jenn" Herman admitted, obvious concern in his expression.

"No, you're not, bro," I told him firmly.

"Look, I just wanna make sure she's safe. I care about her too, Hap," Kozik reminded me.

"That's why you're gonna wait here. For one, do you even know where her childhood home is," I challenged.

He didn't answer.

"Hell, man, with things the way they are between you two right now, do you really think she would leave with you," I continued.

Again, he didn't respond.

I didn't exactly feel guilty for my blunt, firm words. But I didn't exactly enjoy putting one of my brothers on blast like that either. I also knew, however, that it could very well be the only way to make him understand that he was not going after Jenn, and that it was not negotiable.

"Just…make sure she's safe," Kozik finally spoke up, almost pleading with me.

"I always do," I promised before heading off.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I was laying the new tile in the bathroom. I put the final piece in and backed away from the doorway, admiring my own little masterpiece.

"Damn…that ass," Happy commented from down the hallway.

"Shit! When did you get here," I asked, jumping at his sudden presence.

"A couple minutes. I couldn't help but stop and admire your…assets," he teased as he approached to take a look at what I was looking at.

He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind as we stared at the new tile. It suddenly occurred to me that something was wrong.

"You're here early, Hap. Is everything okay," I asked, leaning back against him.

"You'll need to pack a bag, Jenn. We're going on lock down," Happy revealed.

"Lockdown? Happy…what's going on," I asked, requesting as close as complete disclosure as I could get.

I turned to face him, looking into his eyes for truth.

"We have some business to take care of, babe. Sorry, but I can't really say more," Happy admitted.

Becoming worried for his safety, I anxiously began to bite my lower lip.

"We'll be fine, Jenn…I just need to know that you'll be safe while I'm out there. If I'm worrying about you the entire time…things could get dangerous," he reminded me.

"Alright, I get it," I completed. "How long do you have until we have to be back," I requested.

"Clay gave everyone a few hours to round everyone up," he revealed.

"A few hours? There anywhere else you have to go," I asked hopefully.

"Not a place," he answered, looking down into my eyes.

"Come give me a proper goodbye," I told him with a meek smile, backing toward to bedroom.

A few hours later, I climbed off of the back of Happy's bike. He got off the bike and motioned to take my backpack. I reluctantly handed him the bag. As we headed toward the clubhouse, he affectionately placed his arm around me.

In a matter of minutes, Happy was setting his bag down in his room in the clubhouse. I realized that this was the first time Happy had invited me into his room. I had slept there previously. But at the time, I had been pretty wasted and Happy was in jail.

"You can stay in here, Jenn. Anything you need, help yourself," he sweetly offered.

"Thanks, Hap," I responded, becoming more worried as each minute ticked by.

"Don't worry, Jenn. I'll be fine," he tried to assure me.

"I know. But even if you were bulletproof, I would still worry," I told him.

He smiled knowingly at me before surprising me with a request.

"There's something I need you to do, babe," Happy started.

"Yeah, okay," I responded, wondering what was on his mind.

"You aren't gonna like it, but I need you to go out there and say bye to Koz," Happy asked, both confusing and shocking me.

"Why would I do that," I asked.

"Look, Koz and I kind of got into it before I got you. He was trying to leave to get you. I told him that I would do it, because you wouldn't leave with him. I just had to get him to back off so I could go get you and make sure you're safe. Then I saw him just now when we walked in together. It really got to him, Jenn," Happy began.

"So. He should have thought of that before he fucked those other bitches," I responded.

"Look, this isn't just for Kozik. This is for the MC. If Herman is too busy thinking about how to get you to give him a chance, he's a danger to all of us. We need someone alert and at their best out there today," Happy explained.

"Okay," I nodded. "I'll talk to him," I responded.

A few minutes later, Happy and I emerged from his room. We entered the main room, which was quickly filling with people. Happy joined a few of the other Sons to gear up to head out. Watching them made me anxious. I began to look around to see if I could find Herman in the crowd.

I spotted him heading outside. Taking a deep breath, I waded through the crowd to reach the front entrance. I stepped out into the fresh air and glanced around to see him standing over by the bikes with Half Sack. I lit a cigarette and walked over to them.

Kip noticed me first. He must have mentioned it to Kozik, because Herman glanced over to see me. I smiled over at him in greeting.

"Can you give us a minute," Kozik requested.

"Yeah, I'll go see if the guys need anything," Half Sack responded, quickly heading back inside.

"You look really good, Jenn," Koz complimented. "I didn't recognize you at first, with the brown hair. I like it," he observed with a kind smile.

"Thanks," I responded, smiling back at him.

"You're freaking out right now, aren't you," he asked, knowing how I always reacted when the Sons had to venture out for anything remotely dangerous.

"I am," I admitted with a small smile. "Is it that obvious," I asked in return.

"No. You're pretty good at putting on a brave face," he told me.

"You'll be careful," I asked, realizing that I actually was worried about Herman.

"I always am" he promised with a smile.

Surprising him, and even myself, I threw my arm around him and pulled him in for a hug. After he got over the initial shock, he soon wrapped his arms around me, hugging me in return. When we separated a moment later, I began to turn to leave. He gently grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward himself. He surprised me this time, with a kiss. Happy's words passed through my mind.

"Koz could be a danger to everyone out there."

Worried that this could be a blow to his mental state, I didn't break the kiss.

* * * Happy's Point of View * * *

I started to head outside to catch up with Clay when Jax suddenly stopped me.

"Hey man, what the fuck is going on," he requested.

"What are you talking about," I asked, obviously perplexed.

"Jenn. What's going on? She's out there with Koz right now," Jax explained.

Wondering why Jenn saying good bye to Kozik would concern Jax, I headed outside. I stopped when I saw Kozik's lips pressed to Jenna's. Jax and Clay quickly stepped in front of me.

"Tell Jenn I want to talk to her before I leave…alone," I told them both before turning to sit on the apron of the nearby ring.

Appearing stunned and confused, Jenna was already on her way over. I watched as Jackson approached Jenna. I lit a cigarette while he spoke with her. He gestured in my direction, causing Jenna to look over and see me. It was then that I noticed that she was crying. She must have thought that I was going to lose it.

When she sat beside me, she looked up at me, with her eyes reddened from crying. I put my arm around her shoulder.

"Jenn, why are you crying," I asked calmly, offering her a cigarette.

"I kissed him," she admitted before lighting a cigarette.

"I know you did," I told her.

"Why do you seem so calm about this? I don't understand," she began to question.

I interrupted, "Jenn, I already knew you still have feelings for him. Does it bother me? Yes. But I knew that this was a possibility. What exactly happened?"

"I was talking to him like you asked me to. I hugged him. Then he kissed me. At first I didn't stop him…because I remembered what you said about him being in the right mental state. And before I knew it, I was kissing him back. I'm so sorry, Happy," she explained through quick puffs of her cigarette.

"Jenn, it's alright. Look, you're free to stay in my room. When I get back, I'll pick up my things from your place," I told her.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

"What?! What are you talking about," I asked in a panic, jerking my gaze back toward him.

"I saw the way you kissed him, babe," Happy began. "I'm stepping aside, Jenn…for now, at least."

"Please don't do this," I begged. "I need you. I will do whatever you ask me to. If you don't want me to see him again, I won't," I tried to reason.

"You know I would never ask you to do that," he assured me.

"I thought you weren't going to give up on me," I reminded him.

"I'm not, Jenn. I will always be here for you. But I need you to try and see if there's really anything left with Herman," Happy advised.

"That doesn't make any sense, Happy," I told him, confused now.

"Obviously the both of you still have feelings for each other. You told me you thought those feelings would fade with time. If things were to ever work with you and me, I would have to know for certain that there's nothing left for you there," he reasoned.

"I'm not going to talk you out of this, am I," I requested solemnly.

"No. Just remember that I'm here if things don't work," he told me, pulling me in for a hug.

I was crying again. He leaned down and kissed me goodbye. I desperately wanted to cling to his shirt, keeping him with me. But I knew he couldn't and wouldn't stay.

"Jenn, I have to go. You should head inside, babe," he advised.

Momentarily, I watched Happy walk away before disappearing into the clubhouse.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

I watched as Happy and Jenna spoke. She was crying, but I couldn't figure out why. He didn't look angry, and he wasn't yelling at her.

Clay called for Happy. I continued to watch as he hugged Jenna, before planting a kiss on her lips. Then he was heading this way while Jenna returned to the clubhouse.

As Hap approached, everyone got on their bikes.

"What was that man," I asked, quickly following up with another question. "Is Jenna okay?"

"She'll be fine. I stepped down, brother. Look, I love Jenn. I just want to see her happy. If that means that she's happy with you, then so be it. And if she's not, then I'll be here waiting for her," Happy revealed.

Confused about the sudden change, I got on my bike.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I entered the clubhouse and immediately began to head back toward Happy's room.

"You alright, honey," Gemma asked discreetly, catching me in the hallway.

"Hap…broke up with me," I explained as best as I could.

"What? Come on, we'll sit and talk, Jenn. I have a joint with your name on it," she offered.

I followed Gemma back toward the kitchen, where Lyla and Tara were already being tasked with chopping up vegetables. I sat on the only empty space of counter while Gemma began plugging in a few crock pots.

"Stew," she explained as she quickly handed me the joint.

I nodded, accepting the offer. I lit the joint and took the first hit before passing it back to her.

"So what happened," Gemma asked, watching me as she added water and broth to each crock pot.

"He asked me to talk to Koz. So I did. I talked to him, then he kissed me," I began as Gemma passed the joint to Lyla.

"Kozik kissed you," Lyla asked, arching her eyebrows. "He must really love you. To risk Happy killing him for your kiss."

"At first I just didn't resist. I was afraid that he would take it as a personal blow and his head wouldn't be in the right place out there today," I admitted as Lyla passed the joint to Tara. "I don't know where it came from, but before I knew it, I kissed him back."

"Shit. Happy walked out there during that, didn't he," Gemma questioned while Tara passed the joint back to me.

"He did. But things got a bit…strange," I admitted.

"Kissing Kozik was strange," Tara asked, confused.

"Well, I started crying. I can't exactly say why. To many things were running through my head. I felt guilty. I was scared. And it really bothered me that Kozik's hands and lips being on me didn't bother me as much as I thought it would," I revealed.

"So what did Happy say," Gemma wondered.

"He said he was stepping away. He said that if anything were to ever be serious with us, that he would need to know for certain that I wasn't in love with Herman anymore. And I get it, I do. I tried to convince him to not do it, but you know Happy. Once he makes up his mind, it's set in stone," I explained.

"I know we obviously can't do this now, but I think you need a break, girl. Why don't we have a girl's night out," Lyla suggested.

"I think that's a good idea, Jenna. Honey, you haven't had any real girl time in ages. Go out with Lyla, and maybe Tara would be interested," Gemma suggested, looking over to Tara.

"Yeah, sure. Obviously after this lockdown thing is over," she agreed. "No Ima though," Tara told Lyla with a hint of disdain in her voice.

"No Ima," Lyla agreed. "Besides, between the two of you, I think she wouldn't come back," she added in jokingly.

Momentarily, I thought about revealing the contents of Kozik's letter. But I decided against it. The letter was meant for my dad. My eyes weren't supposed to ever see the letter. I decided that for now, at least, the letter would remain a secret. While I contemplated silently, Gemma stepped back out for a moment, fetching Half Sack.

"Jenn, can I offer some advice," Tara asked hopefully.

"Of course," I told her, suddenly fixing my attention to her.

"Maybe you should give Herman a chance," she told me, dispersing the vegetables into the crock pots.

"I don't want to lose Happy," I admitted. "What if trying with Koz chases him away? Or what if he moves on," I thought out loud.

"Jenn, that night we had dinner at Gemma's house, Happy waited around for you to finish helping Gemma clean up. I saw the body language between the two of you. The way you interact with each other. The way you talk to each other. I dunno, I just got the sense that Happy would wait for you for as long as it took," Tara thoughtfully revealed.

"Tara, he was waiting for me to finish cleaning…not for me to be done with some other guy," I reminded her.

"I know he was waiting for you to finish cleaning. I just…I don't know how to explain it. But there's this vibe that Happy radiates when he's around you. I really think that he wants you to try and see if you still have anything left with Kozik. I think he may even know the answer to that. Happy is very protective of you, Jenna. Have you thought that maybe he just doesn't want you to wonder later what would have happened if you don't give Kozik a shot," Tara tried to re-explain.

"Tara's right, Jenn. Happy is like a completely different person with you. It's crazy. Opie even said that he's never seen you or Happy in such a good place. I think you should try with Koz. If it works, then maybe it was really meant to be. But I think Happy suspects that it won't. And I think once he has that proof, it will make things easier for both of you. It will give you some closure, he'll know for certain that you're his girl, and Kozik will have to back off and understand that you aren't in love with him anymore," Lyla agreed.

* * * Sorry again for the delay! In my original planning, Happy and Jenna were never in a relationship when she got back to Charming, they only had the friends with benefits arrangement, so I'm re-planning as I go. * * *


	26. 026 Na Triobloidi

*** Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I hope everyone had a great holiday! I seem to be getting back on track with these next few chapters, but it's still a process. Hope to have the next update soon! Enjoy! I only own my own OC's. ***

I helped the girls finish up the cooking. There wasn't much to it, mostly stew and cornbread…easy enough. And luckily it could feed a lot of people, because there were definitely a lot of people holing up in the clubhouse.

Dinner remained pretty quiet. Usually a dinner served by Gemma would be filled with laughter, joking, chatting, and such. Tonight, however, everyone was worried about at least one loved one. I still wasn't sure what the guys were up to, but I knew it involved having to have a gun, so it wasn't exactly safe.

At first I was so anxious, worrying about all the Sons, especially Happy and Herman, that I couldn't get myself to eat. Gemma, again taking a motherly role, practically ordered me to eat. Once I decided it was easier to comply than to fight her on it, the meal was delicious.

Once dinner was over though, I went back to worrying. With Half-Sack as a guard, Gemma and I stepped outside for a cigarette.

"You doin' alright, honey," Gemma worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just worried about the guys," I admitted.

"You aren't still thinking about this little love triangle of yours, are you," she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No. Right now I just want them to come back, preferably without bullet holes," I anxiously admitted.

"They'll be fine, honey. Hap and Koz are both coming back perfectly fine. Those boys are too in love with you to let some wannabe skin head kill 'em," she told me with a light laugh.

"I think I'm gonna head to bed while there's a chance of me actually falling asleep," I decided.

"Yeah, same here. I'll clean up in the morning," Gemma decided as she put out her cigarette butt.

"Wake me, I'll help," I offered as Half-Sack followed us back inside.

"I'll take you up on that. That kitchen looks like hell," Gemma agreed.

I woke up feeling a pair of familiar arms wrapped around me. I smiled when I smelled Happy's cologne. He lightly began kissing my neck after moving to brush my hair out of the way. Smiling at the feel of his lips leaving a satisfied trail down my neck and to my shoulder, I lightly bit my lower lip. His hand slowly and deliberately slid down my body, soon teasing me beneath the sheets.

Almost immediately, I let out a pleased moan.

"You like that," he whispered, teasing me now.

"Very much," I answered with a smile, rolling over now and undoing his belt buckle.

Unfortunately my happiness didn't last for very long. I woke up feeling a burning in my cheeks and a frustrated sense of arousal. Confused, I looked around the room and sighed when I realized that I was only dreaming.

After fifteen minutes of laying in the bed, staring at the ceiling, I just knew I wasn't going to get any more sleep. I got out of the bed and threw on a large black hoodie.

I headed down the hallway and went straight into the kitchen. Flipping on the light, I immediately saw my distraction…the huge pile of dishes.

In frustration, I scrubbed each dish spotless. After about forty five minutes, I cleaned off the counters and swept the floor. As I continued to sweep the kitchen, I suddenly became distracted with how off color the grout was. I finished sweeping and returned to the utility closet to find a bucket, a scrub brush, and a jug of bleach. I poured a bit of bleach in the bucket before carrying it off to the sink. Soon the bucket was halfway filled with water.

I carried the bucket out to the outermost section of the kitchen. I pulled on a pair of cleaning gloves before starting. I continued to scrub the grout until it was once again white. As I worked my way across the floor, I was only slightly surprised to see someone sit beside me.

Kip grabbed the extra scrubby I had brought and joined in on the detailing.

"Couldn't sleep," he asked, noticing the exhaustion in my eyes.

"I slept for a bit. But once I woke up, I couldn't fall back asleep. So I started cleaning," I admitted, ignoring my tired eyes that were now begging for sleep.

"So, was it wrong of me to leave you alone with Koz earlier? I wasn't really sure if that's what you wanted," Kip admitted.

"What happened with Koz is by no means your fault. Besides, not leaving would have just gotten you in trouble with Herman," I told him, moving to the next section of grout.

"Do you love him," Half-Sack asked curiously.

He immediately apologized, "sorry, you don't have to answer that. It's none of my business."

"No, it's alright. I don't mind. It's always nice to know I have people I can talk to when I need it," I admitted. "You talking about Herman or Happy?"

"Both, I guess," he uncomfortably decided.

"I love Herman, and I love Happy," I admitted, obviously just as confused about the situation as the expression on his face showed him to be.

"Can I ask you something? And I don't mean to be offensive about it," Kip requested.

"Yeah, go on. Besides, any question that follows a statement like that has me intrigued from the get go," I admitted.

"How can you love them both at the same time," he wondered.

"I love lots of people, Kip. I love Jackson and Opie. They're my oldest and dearest friends. I love Chibs. He may as well be like my second dad, I think. I love Bobby. He's like the cool uncle I never had. I love Gemm and Clay. They've helped me out so much over the years. And, yes, I love Kozik. He was the first guy I ever loved in the romantic sense. I suppose I'll always have a soft spot for him because of that. And, yes, I do love Happy. For as long as I can remember, I have never felt more myself than when I'm with Happy. He allows me to be crazy, or feel sexy, or be a bitch. He seems to thrive on me being me," I tried to explain.

"So how is this going to work out," Half-Sack questioned, potentially more curious now.

"I don't know. Happy broke up with me. He told me he wants me to try with Koz," I revealed.

"Are you," he asked, helping scrub the last few sections of grout.

"I don't know. Everyone seems to think that I should listen to Happy and try. I just don't know if I can. Kozik would have to work pretty hard to get my trust back. I mean, there's absolutely no way we could just pick up where we left off," I responded. "I suppose it will either happen, or it won't."

"Hey, you look exhausted. There isn't much of this left. Why don't you go get some rest and I'll finish this up," he offered.

"Yeah, I think I will. Thanks, Kip," I responded, stretching as I got to my feet.

A few hours later, I woke up, still alone. Worried that no one had woken me up and I hadn't heard anything about the guys, I got up and quickly threw on some clothes.

I headed out to the main room to see that the Sons had in fact returned. I was relieved until I realized that two people were missing. I didn't see Happy or Kozik anywhere in sight.

Juice was the closest, sitting at the bar having a beer.

"Is everyone okay," I asked hopefully.

"Yeah," he responded, appearing confused by my worry.

"Where are Happy and Koz," I asked, trying not to be obvious that I was freaking out about them missing from the group.

"Hap said he didn't want to wake you, so Jax let him crash in his room. Koz is outside, waiting for you, I think," Juice enlightened me.

"Where are Tara and Abel," I asked, remembering them sleeping in Jax's room.

"They left this morning with Half-Sack on guard duty," Juice revealed.

"I'm glad you're alright," I told him, hugging him momentarily.

"Uh, thanks," he responded unsurely.

"I spent all night worrying about you guys," I admitted.

"We're fine, Jenn," he assured me with a goofy smile.

"Alright, well, I will talk to you later. I guess I better go find Herman if he's waiting for me," I decided.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed twp cups of coffee before heading outside. I immediately spotted Herman having a cigarette at one of the tables with Chibs. I sat beside him and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," he appreciated.

"Where's my cup," Chibs asked, acting offended.

"You can have mine," I offered with a smile.

"No. I'll be heading inside to get some rest soon anyhow," he responded as he continued to smoke his cigarette. "You just now getting up?"

"Yeah. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep. So I cleaned the kitchen. Go check out the grout, that shit is white again," I finished with a laugh.

"Should have known. Gemma was wondering if someone was sleep cleaning," he told me with a laugh.

"Well, I'm heading inside and gonna get some sleep," he decided, hugging me momentarily before he left.

"So, you were waiting for me," I asked, unsure of how to start the conversation.

"Yeah. You alright," he asked, showing a bit of worry in his eyes.

"I'm fine," I told him. "I'm just glad everyone made it back okay," I finished up.

"Happy told me," Kozik admitted. "About him stepping aside, I mean."

"Yeah. I guess it was just a matter of time anyway," I decided.

"What do you mean," Kozik asked with confusion.

"Nothing. So, what were you waiting for me for," I asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Well, I wanted to apologize to you," Kozik admitted.

"Apologize," I asked, not sure why he would be apologizing.

"For everything. I should have been more understanding of your needs. I shouldn't have let stupid jealousy get in my head. And I never should have hurt and humiliated you by fucking around," he explained. "I'm sorry, Jenn. And I know that you aren't going to just forgive me, and hell, you shouldn't. But I want to do whatever it takes to earn your trust, and hopefully you again."

The memories of our time of war in Tacoma floated through my head. It was a pretty rough time, but I made it through it. If I had been my suppressed self, the woman my father wanted me to be, I would have never made it through that time. I remembered a comment, the one that really hurt the most and decided I needed to find out.

"I thought you said we were a mistake," I asked, looking at him now to gauge his reaction.

"You know, I tried to go after you that night. I wanted to explain what I meant. I'm not really all that good with thinking before I speak, so thing tend to come out wrong sometimes," Herman began. "I didn't mean that we were a mistake. I fucking love you, Jenn. I can honestly say, that I've lived life without you and I hate it. I want you, and I need you. I should have chosen my words more carefully that night. What I was trying to say was that me coming to your office was a mistake. I should have never shown up, knowing that we would probably end up fighting. I should have just given you the space you needed and quit being a dick."

"You were still kind of a dick after that," I reminded him.

"I was. And I'm sorry. It's not a reason, but I was hurt and jealous…and I was just fucking stupid. That fight with Happy…that was a wake up call. When I saw you with him, being so…innocently intimate, I just lost it. I didn't want his or any other man's hands on you. Then when you stepped between us, I saw the way he looked at you. I saw the way you suddenly became protective of him. That pissed me off more. I said some fucked up, hurtful things to both of you that I regret. And then when I saw you walk away with him to your office. Maybe you didn't notice it, but he put his arm around you, as if to say you were his girl. That was when I knew I had lost you," Kozik revealed his thoughts during his dark time in Tacoma.

"That was the night that I realized you were right about Happy," I admitted. "I always thought that Happy and I had this innocently flirtatious relationship. But I realized that you were right, Happy was attracted to me. And it wasn't until later that night when we ended up back at my place that I realized that I was attracted to him too," I admitted.

"I have to admit, I thought it was just sex for Happy. But after some time here with him, and after people helped screw my head on straight, I realized that there was more there. I was just afraid to let it become more," I told him.

"Yeah, well, it looks like up until now no guy has ever treated you the way you deserve to be treated," Kozik told me.

"What do you mean," I asked, sipping on my coffee.

"Well, Jax treated you like his mistress. When you needed me most, I bailed on you. I hate to admit it, but Happy's been pretty good to you," he explained.

I had never really thought of it like that. Maybe that's why I was so afraid of taking things to the next level with Happy. Maybe that's why I was also terrified of losing him. Perhaps subconsciously I had convinced myself that Happy would end up hurting me like I had been before.

"So, I'm thinking about staying in Charming," Herman revealed. "For you," he added in, watching me for a reaction.

I looked into his blue eyes when I responded, "you do know that there's no way we can just pick up right where we left off. It would be starting over and earning back my trust. Do you think you could handle that kind of waiting game?"

"I know. I'm lucky you're even giving me that," he began, keeping his eyes locked on mine.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what made you decide that this is okay. You seemed skeptical about even coming to talk to me yesterday," Herman asked with curiosity.

I couldn't tell him that Happy requested that I try to give Herman a chance. That could be heartbreaking. And while Kozik had hurt me in the past, I wasn't going to do the same thing to him. I decided to let him know that I had read his letter.

"You left a letter at Billy's grave," I began.

"You read that," he asked, looking surprised. "You know, that wasn't there for you, Jenn. That may as well have been a journal entry," he told me.

"I know. But I saw your handwriting and my curiosity got the better of me," I admitted.

Our quiet little moment was soon interrupted by several of the guys heatedly storming out of the clubhouse. The rushed past us and over to their bikes. Juice soon followed.

Worried, I grabbed his arm. He must have not even noticed me before that, because he looked surprised to see me.

"What's going on, Juice," I asked, watching the guys speed off.

"Someone went over to Jax's house. They assaulted Half-Sack and took off with Abel," Juice revealed.

I gasped at the horrible news. Could this be retaliation for whatever the Sons took care of?


	27. 027 SO

*** Got this next chapter out a lot quicker than I thought I would. I'm hoping I can get the next one out by the 1st, but no promises! I only own my own OC's. Hope you enjoy! ***

The lockdown ended the morning of Abel's kidnapping. When I had returned home, I entered an empty house. Immediately, I noticed that the few belongings Happy had been keeping at my place were now gone. It was as if he had never been there. The thought upset me, but I decided not to let it get to me too much. He had his reasons, and while I didn't exactly understand it, I had no intentions of fighting him on it and pissing him off.

When I returned to TM, things were very tense and solemn. The Sons spent a lot of time trying to track down Cameron, who I later found out was the one who nabbed Abel. I also found out later that Gemma was on the run with a little help from Tig. It felt like things were getting more insane as each day passed. Then there was Kip. Cameron had stabbed the Prospect to get to Abel. Unfortunately, Kip didn't make it. I found it very upsetting that I had just spoken with and bonded with Kip that morning, only to have him gone by the end of the day. He was such a nice guy, and potentially a good friend.

With all the chaos, I knew Gemma wouldn't be able to take care of business at TM for a while, so I offered Clay and Jax my services. They were grateful to have the office work, at least, off of their plates.

Currently, I sat in the office, working through everything that Gemma left behind. I used the paper work to my advantage, keeping myself distracted from the world that was quickly falling apart around me. Kip was dead. Gemma was on the run. Abel was missing. Jax was distraught. Happy had left me. It just felt like things couldn't possibly get worse, but I had the strange feeling that they somehow would.

"Hey, you alright in here," Kozik surprised me as he sat on the small sofa in the office.

"Yeah, just…keeping busy, I suppose," I responded, glancing up at him.

"Look, I know right now is obviously not the right time, but whenever things settle down around here, and whenever you're ready…I want to take you out or whatever," he admitted.

"When things settle down," I agreed with a kind smile.

I glanced up at the time, realizing that it was already six o'clock.

"Shit, I should head out," I told him.

"With everything that's going on, do you think you could let me know when you make it home," he asked, wearing a suddenly worried expression.

"I'll do you one better, Koz. Why don't you come over for a bit? I could use some company," I suggested, grabbing my purse and keys.

"You sure you're comfortable with that," he asked skeptically.

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't, Koz. But don't think this means your getting laid," I finished with a laugh.

We were soon at my place. I was admittedly a bit nervous about being alone in the house with Kozik, but I agreed to try. Trying would have to include hanging out at some point. Herman and I were pretty good friends before we became romantically involved, so why couldn't we be again?

Kozik followed me inside, ensuring he locked the door behind himself. I smiled to myself. He really was afraid something would happen to me.

"You wanna smoke," I offered, sitting on the sofa with a joint in hand.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed, appearing unsure of where he should sit.

"You can sit anywhere, Koz. If you don't feel comfortable on the sofa with me, that chair over there is pretty awesome too," I told him with a knowing smile.

He sat beside me, looking around at my handiwork.

"It's not that I don't feel comfortable on the sofa with you, it's more that I'm worried that you won't feel comfortable with me right here," he explained.

"Herman, we've seen each other naked. I think sitting beside each other on a couch shouldn't be uncomfortable," I told him with a laugh as I lit the joint.

"So, you did all of this," he asked, gesturing around the room.

I passed him the joint as I responded, "yep. Hap and Jax helped me with moving the furniture and unpacking my nerd shit, but yeah."

"I like what you did with your dad's cut," he complimented, noticing the centerpiece of the fireplace display.

It currently sat in a shadow box frame with a few knick knacks around the base of the frame.

"You know I grew up in this house," I asked, turning to face him as I adjusted to sitting cross-legged.

"Yeah, that's what I heard. So you decided to fix it up," he asked curiously as we continued to pass the joint back and forth.

"Dad was hoarding away money for years, pretty much since my mom got sick. So he left quite a bit behind. One of the things I wanted to do was fix up this house. He always wanted to do it for ma when she was still around, but things with the club were always busy. Then once things calmed a bit, she got sick. He just never got around to it and couldn't let go of this house," I explained.

"Well, it looks pretty damn good," he commented.

"Thanks. It's still a work in progress though. I have the master bedroom, the master bathroom, the kitchen and dining, and I want to do something with the back patio," I admitted.

"You hauled all those comics and games down here," he asked with a laugh.

"You should have known I wouldn't leave without them," I responded with a guilty smile.

We sat there finishing up the joint in an awkward silence. His adoring stare made me nervous. I began to think that maybe the weed was a bad idea. I decided to break the silence.

"Play Call of Duty with me," I asked with a smile.

"Alright, I'll play," he gave in easily.

As I got up to retrieve the remote and the controls, I wondered why he caved so easily. Before I would have to spend what felt like an eternity trying to convince him to play a video game with me. Suddenly he gives in…why?

When I turned back to head back to the couch, I realized that he was just checking me out. I only felt slightly uncomfortable, but I couldn't say exactly why. Why should it be a big deal for him to check me out? Like I said earlier, we had both seen each other naked.

I returned to the couch and sat beside him, handing him a controller. The rest of the night was spent playing Team Deathmatch, joking, shit talking, laughter, and competition. I was surprised to find that I could have fun with Koz again. I always thought that being alone with him again would be strange and tense.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

It was good to see Jenn having fun again. I missed having the opportunity to see her in this light. If it let me see the smile on her face, hear the laughter in her voice, and prompt her competitive shit talking, I would have played checkers if she had asked me to. I knew I had my work cut out for me. She might be having fun, but I had a lot of work to do to earn her trust back. And I was definitely up for the task.

I threw away the only woman I had ever loved. I broke, humiliated, and made her feel exiled. I chased her right into the arms of one of my brothers. And I drove him right into her bed.

What I would give just to feel her arms around me again. Or her lips pressed to mine once more.

I realized that I was still waiting for her to go into a new lobby. I glanced over to see that she had fallen asleep. She looked so peaceful and happy.

I set my controller down and grabbed hers to set on the table as well.

"Jenn," I whispered as I nudged her awake.

She didn't open her eyes, but she responded.

"Huh," she asked, moving to lay her head on one of the couch pillows.

"I'm gonna head out, let you get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow," I told her, getting to my feet.

"Koz," she responded questioningly.

"Yeah," I answered, moving to turn off her Xbox and television.

"Can you grab that blanket off the chair," she asked with both exhaustion and hope in her voice.

"Yeah," I answered, grabbing the blanket off the chair and laying it across her.

I saw her lips curve into a serene smile.

"Koz," she said once more.

"Yeah," I answered again.

"Can you stay here with me? Please," she questioned, moving to make room for me next to her on the couch.

"I don't know, Jenn. I don't want to overstep any boundaries," I reminded her of her earlier statement about starting fresh.

"Please. Just lay here with me. I don't want to be alone again," she admitted.

Her eyes were open now, and they were pleading with me as well.

"Alright, I'll stay, Jenn," I decided, laying my cut on the chair and my shoes next to it.

Before I knew it, she was snuggling against me on the couch with both of us wrapped in her blanket.

It felt nice to have her body against mine once more. I just wasn't sure that now was the right time for me to be sleeping with her like this. There was nothing sexual about it. It just felt like maybe she was letting me back into her good graces too quickly. I felt like I hadn't earned her trust back at all, and she was trusting me to stay with her all night.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I woke up the next morning feeling a strong pair of arms wrapped around me. I nuzzled against his chest and made myself comfortable. Before I could fall back to sleep, the alarm on my phone went off, causing me to jump.

"Shit," I cursed as I quickly moved to shut off the alarm.

I turned back to the couch to see that Herman was now awake too. He glanced around, as if trying to remember where he was. Once he spotted me, he smiled, as if it no longer mattered where he was.

"We have to get ready," I told him.

"Ready," he asked, confused.

"For Kip's funeral," I reminded him.

"Oh yeah," he responded, getting up and stretching.

I shifted uncomfortably as he moved to grab his cut and shoes.

"I'm gonna head up to the clubhouse to shower and change. You want me to send someone to follow you up to the clubhouse," he asked, watching me fidget.

"No, I'll be okay. I'm just gonna shower and get ready. I'll be up there soon," I promised.

"Jenn, before I go, I have to ask you something," Herman revealed.

"What's that," I responded, feeling a tightness in my chest as he got closer.

He gently grabbed my hands and led me to sit beside him again on the couch.

"Was it wrong that I stayed here last night," he asked, hoping that I hadn't made a request because I was stoned.

"No, it wasn't wrong. I asked you to stay," I reminded him.

"Honestly, I wasn't sure if you were asking me because you needed someone here with you, or because you were stoned and tired," he admitted.

"I needed someone here with me," I admitted. "But I wanted you here with me," I added on.

"Why do you seem so anxious this morning," he questioned.

"I'm just worried that I'm going to send you mixed signals," I admitted.

"Jenna, I know that we aren't just jumping right back where we left off. I'm not going to assume that because you let me sleep on the couch with you that we'll be fucking by tomorrow," he told me with a laugh.

My cheeks reddened at his sudden bluntness.

"Look, go ahead and get ready. I'll see you in a while," he told me before getting up and heading toward the door.

I quickly showered and got dressed. I put on a black dress that fell to about four inches above my knees and a pair of black, heeled shoes. After putting on my make up, I headed over to the clubhouse, where arrangements were made about heading over to the church where Kip's funeral services were being held.

Thirty minutes later, I pulled into a space at the church parking lot. I got out of my car and immediately saw Lyla, who was pulling in next to me. We managed a small, quiet greeting, but it was obvious now that neither of us were really in the mood for feminine banter. I wasn't sure how close Lyla was with Kip, but this whole thing really seemed to bother her. Hell, I wasn't all that close with him, but it bothered me to. He was such a nice guy. He was always helpful and there when needed.

I sat beside Lyla, who sat beside Opie. I was only a little surprised when Herman sat on the other side of me. During the service, he even gently grabbed my hand, rubbing his thumb across my hand in a soothing sort of way. I didn't pull away from him, needing some sort of comfort at the moment. I couldn't get over the fact that one morning I was conversing and bonding with Kip, even thinking that he may very well become a good friend. Then later that day, he was gone. There was entirely too much death lately and the body count was really starting to take it's toll.

Before I knew it, I was exiting the church, still holding Herman's hand. Previously, I would have worried about whether or not Happy would be bothered by seeing me being in any way close to affectionate towards Koz. But now I didn't care. He told me he wanted me to try, so I was slowly letting down the gates, allowing Herman in bit by bit. I found myself actually a bit angry with Happy. I could never be angry with him to his face, he had this ridiculous knack for ending any ill will I had quickly. So I would settle for just stewing privately and analyzing each move Herman or I made toward potential reconciliation.

It seemed like my thoughts summoned the one I was thinking of. As Kozik and I exited the church, I saw Happy standing outside with a few of the guys. He looked up and spotted me walking out with Koz. I noticed his eyes flicker from me, to Kozik, to our entwined hands. A part of me desperately wanted to pull my hand from Kozik's grasp and pretend like it never happened. But the other part of me didn't care if Happy saw. I was still mad at him. I was even madder at myself for the flutter feeling that was in my stomach when I saw him.

Much to my dismay, Herman headed straight for the group of Sons where Happy stood with Clay. I was relieved when Clay addressed me first.

"How you holding up, kid," he asked, obviously noticing my puffy reddened eyes.

"I'm alright. Thanks," I responded before asking a question of my own.

"How's Gemma," I asked, not having heard from her since she took off.

I found out that she was being accused of shooting some girl in a safe house. From what I was told, it was actually Stahl. I hadn't encountered Stahl personally, but from what I heard from everyone else, she was not to be trusted in the least and her balls were bigger than a set of grapefruits.

"I talked to Tig this morning, she's alright. I don't know how long I can keep her away though. I suspect she'll find out about Abel before too long. And if she does, she's coming back with or without Tig," he told me.

"What about Jackson? How's he holding up? I haven't seen him around much, and I know he's busy and worried, so I don't want to call him," I admitted.

"He's dealing the only way he knows how. Don't worry though, we'll find Abel and he'll be back to his old self," Clay told me.

"Hey, Clay, can I talk to you about something," Kozik requested.

"I'll be right back," I told them, seeing Lyla waiting for Opie about ten feet away.

* * * Happy's Point of View * * *

I stood with a handful of the guys outside the church. We were discussing our next move regarding Abel, Jax's missing son. My attention was caught by pair of tanned, toned legs. I glanced over and looked up to see Jenna. To her right was Koz, who I now noticed was holding her hand.

So Jenn was trying with Kozik. I was glad to see that she took my request seriously. I had worried that she would fall into that same pit she fell into after Kozik's hurtful words and actions the last time they were in Charming together. I did have to admit, though only to myself, that I missed her. I missed waking up and feeling her asleep against my chest. I missed that tempting little smirk she threw at me when she was teasing for flirting with me. There was also the way she curled up against me when we were watching movies. I even missed watching her play her video games. She would get so mad and ramble out random curse words.

While I missed Jenn, I knew she needed some closure with Koz. Just leaving Tacoma wouldn't give her that. I needed her to try to work things out with him. And while I knew it wouldn't work, I wanted both of them to know it wouldn't. Because only then could Jenn truly be my woman, if she wanted to be. If they didn't try and fail, Kozik would continue trying to pursue her, and Jenna may always wonder what would have happened if she had just given him a chance.

I wasn't thrilled about the prospect that they may even sleep together at some point, but I would have to put my personal feelings on that aside. That was part of a relationship, after all. And since I told her to try working things out with Herman, I couldn't very well tell her how to do it. And I wouldn't have a chance at trying to control her.

I knew it sounded wrong that I believed she and Herman wouldn't work out. But the truth was that Jenna had changed after Billy's death. Jax confided in me that he believed Jenna had cleaned up her act for Billy up in Tacoma. He said she had been very different in Charming, and he saw that woman reappearing when she last came down to Charming. Billy wasn't around to keep her grounded anymore. Maybe Koz thought he could handle that responsibility, but the truth of it was that he couldn't. That would be their undoing. He would ultimately try domesticating Jenna, who obviously did not have the desire to be.

And that's why Jenna belonged with me. I loved the fact that she wasn't like the other women who paraded themselves around the clubhouse. She wasn't trying to convince any guy in a cut that she would make a good old lady. She was born into the life and had been around the Sons longer than a lot of our members. I'd say it was only a matter of time before she ended up finding herself in love with a Son. The question was, which one would it be?

I forced myself to stop staring as they approached. I noticed the concerned glance Clay shot at me. He had to know that I wasn't going to start anything, especially at a fucking funeral.

Clay made it a point to address Jenna first. They briefly conversed until she excused herself to chat with Lyla. I noticed that the two women had become friends of sorts. They seemed to hang out a lot lately, and I constantly caught them chatting away up at the clubhouse or in the TM office. Jenn had always admitted that she wasn't very good at making female friends, as males were easier to get along with. I had to remind her that was probably because they were all trying to fuck her, to which she seemed oblivious to. I couldn't understand how someone who looked like that could lack so much confidence. She seemed much more confident when she was with me. She probably knew that I wouldn't put up with her talking down on herself.

"Clay, I just wanted to let you know that I'm interested in transferring to SAMCRO," Kozik revealed.

I expected this request to come up soon, I just didn't expect it this soon. He must have thought he was making headway with Jenn.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

Jenna had just excused herself to go talk to Lyla, Opie's girlfriend. I was actually surprised to see Jenna had become friends with Lyla. She was usually opposed to being friendly with most women.

I didn't miss Hap checking her out as we approached, or as she left to join Lyla. I decided it was best to ignore it. If I had truly made any progress with Jenna since coming to Charming, it would be immediately thrown out if I started something with Happy, especially at a funeral.

"Clay, I just wanted to let you know that I'm interested in transferring to SAMCRO," I revealed.

Happy didn't seem all that surprised by my request, and neither had Clay for that matter.

"Does it have anything to do with the pretty little brunette that was on your arm," Clay asked knowingly.

"That's part of it," I admitted. "But it also looks like you boys could use some manpower down here too," I threw in.

"Well, we'll see what we can do," Clay responded with a nod.

The instance I heard the sound of gunfire piercing the solemn silence, I moved to cover Jenna.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I stood there chatting quietly with Lyla. We had both began to wonder if the Sons would be heading out soon in search of Abel.

I felt my heart jump into my throat when the sound of gunfire broke the hushed whispers across the lawn. Before I could even react, I felt myself fall to the ground with someone having shoved me to the green grass. Almost immediately, a body shielded me from any potential shots.

When the shooting stopped, I peeked out through an opening to see that whoever was driving the van had plowed into David Hale. I scrambled to get up and go help him. David and I had gone to school together. We weren't super close, but he was still someone I knew who had just been hurt. I couldn't get up though. I was still being held down. I watched as Chief Unser ran to check on Hale.

While Unser checked on David, I watched as Jackson angrily stalked over to the shooter and began assaulting him. He continued to bash the man's head into the pavement until Opie and Bobby pulled him away.

When it was clear that no more bullets would be flying, I felt the grip of my captor loosen.

"You alright," Happy's raspy voice asked, surprising me.

"Yeah," I responded, "thank you."

"You weren't hit," he asked, quickly looking me over for any wounds.

"No, I'm fine, Hap," I promised.

"Why did you struggle," he asked, helping me to my feet now.

"I saw David get hit. I was going to check on him," I admitted, noticing Happy's curious stare how.

His eyes flickered away from me and stared at someone behind me. I turned to see Kozik standing there. He didn't look completely pissed, but he didn't look exactly thrilled either. I was suddenly terrified that another fight would break out between the two men. But before that could happen, thankfully, Clay came over and clapped Happy on the back.

"Come on, Hap," he suggested, leading Happy away from the potential confrontation.


	28. 028 Oiled

*** I only own my own OC's. Enjoy! Let me know what you think, etc! ***

Gemma was still on the lam. The Sons were continuing their search for Abel. I hadn't seen Happy since Kip's funeral. I wasn't sure if that was because the guys were busy searching for Abel, or if he had intended it to be that way.

I pulled up to TM to help out in the office. As I headed toward the office, I saw Jax leaving the clubhouse. I moved to catch him before he left.

As soon as he spotted me, he managed to muster a smile. I hugged him in greeting.

"How you doing, sweetie," I asked, seeing the anguish and anger in his eyes.

"Still nothing clear," he admitted, dodging the question.

Considering the circumstances, I allowed his dodging response.

"Is there anything at all I can do to help," I asked, feeling a bit useless sitting in the office.

"Jenn, what you're doing now is more than enough. I know Gemma isn't here to appreciate it in person, but when she gets back, I'm positive that she will be beyond grateful to see that you're keeping things going in there. You working in that office is keeping both Clay and myself focused on what we need to be focused on," he admitted.

"Okay, hon. Well, if there's anything else you need, just let me know, okay," I offered, kissing him on the cheek momentarily before heading into the office and allowing him to run off to whatever lead he may be chasing down.

I entered the office and set down my purse and keys, getting ready to start my day.

* * * Happy's Point of View * * *

From the picnic table, I watched as Jenna stopped and spoke to Jax. It was a brief conversation, because Jenna soon pecked Jax on the cheek and headed inside Gemma's office. I knew she had been taking care of TM while Gemma was away and we were on the hunt for Hayes. I saw her several times coming and going from the office, but I avoided the office for the most part.

I figured if I made it a point to visit her often, that she would think I had changed my mind. Today, however, would be different. I wanted, no, I needed to check on her after the drive-by. I wanted to make sure she was alright.

I stubbed out the last little bit of cigarette and headed over to the office. She must not have heard me approach, because she didn't look up. It wasn't until I crossed the small room to sit on the little sofa that she looked up to see me.

"How you doing," I asked, watching her shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"Am I allowed to be honest," she asked, obviously conflicted.

"I always want you to be honest with me," I told her.

"I'm…lonely," she admitted.

Hearing those words stung a bit. I never thought a woman could get to me, but Jenn could. I felt bad that she wasn't exactly happy and could very well be having a tough time with the adjustment. But she needed to do this. She needed to get the closure I knew she needed. Jenn wasn't the type to just move on.

The perfect example was after her assault and the damage it did to her life. She needed the closure. And that was why she lured Hector to an early, but well-deserved, grave.

She never truly got the closure with the ending of her relationship with Kozik. This would be it.

"I thought you were trying with Koz," I admitted.

"Herman is very eager to try. I'm skeptical, as usual. I don't know if I can ever trust him like that again, Hap," she admitted.

"You have to try, babe," I urged.

"I don't understand why this is so important to you," she told me, showing the confusion in her expression.

"Jenn, you have to have this chapter with Kozik closed. It can't be closed until you know for sure that things will never work between you," I told her, watching her. "And Koz won't stop pursuing you until you prove that this can't work between you two. If you want to be with me and not have to deal with bullshit drama and fighting, you have to get the closure you're both going to need."

"I miss you," she told me thoughtfully.

"I miss you too, Jenn," I admitted.

"You know I wasn't sure who covered me during that drive-by at Kip's funeral. Once I realized it was you, I had wished I was still on the ground with you," she told me softly. "Can we please put all of this behind us? Please come back," she practically begged.

"Spend some time with Koz, Jenn. If you can honestly admit that you have absolutely no romantic feelings, without lying, then we'll talk about me coming back," I told her before getting to my feet.

I had to get out of the room. She looked upset again. And I knew I would want to pull her close to me in comfort, but I couldn't do that right now. She could take it as a weakness or me folding.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

Missing him more than I could verbally express, I watched as Happy left the office. I did my best to distract myself with office work. It didn't work very well, but after several cups of coffee, I managed to zip through any and all paper work. And before I knew it, it was five o'clock. I hadn't seen anyone else other than Bobby that day. We sat and chatted over a joint.

I briefly filled him in on my current situation with Happy and Kozik. He said that while he thought it was a bit fucked up, he understood where Happy was coming from.

"Happy wants to know that at the end of the day, you're his girl," Bobby explained.

On my way home from TM, I decided that it did kind of make sense, in a strange, Happy sort of way.

I reluctantly entered my empty home. I changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top to sleep in before grabbing a beer and sitting on the sofa. I had been re-doing the master bedroom and bathroom in the evenings, but today I needed a break. It was time to play a game. Usually I chose CoD, one of my personal favorites. But tonight I needed something with a story. I grabbed one the Resident Evil games I hadn't played in ages and dimmed the lights. The best part about the game was the scare factor.

I was only halfway through the first mission when I heard a knock at the door. Suddenly feeling pathetic that I had jumped, I paused the game and got up. I headed over to the door and opened it up. Herman was standing outside with a cigarette in his hand.

"Mind if I bum one," I asked, stepping out to join him on the porch.

He handed me the pack and lit the cigarette for me.

"I hope it's alright that I stopped by," he spoke up, putting away the pack and the lighter.

"You scared the shit out of me, just so you know," I admitted with a laugh.

"How did I manage that," I asked, smiling when he saw me laughing.

"I was playing Resident Evil. The game's not exactly scary, but when you haven't played in a while and you forget where all the zombies are, the smallest thing can force you to jump," I told him.

"Is it alright if I hang out with you for a bit," he asked, sounding hopeful.

"You want a beer," I offered with a kind smile.

"Yeah, a beer sounds good," he agreed.

He followed me inside, realizing he still had his cigarette and stopping at the door.

"You can bring in the cigarette, Koz. For one, I brought mine in. Besides, what's the point in having a house if you can't be comfortable in it. I have to smoke in here when I'm alone anyway," I told him.

"Happy gets on to you for leaving yourself exposed out there at night," Herman asked curiously.

"If he finds out," I told him. "He thinks I can't take care of myself, I guess."

"He's right to be bothered by it. I don't like it either," Kozik surprised me by agreeing with Happy. "And it's not that you can't take care of yourself, Jenn. We worry because it doesn't take much for someone to have an opening to get the drop on you," Kozik explained.

"Oh, so now you two will be ganging up on me," I teased with a laugh, handing him a beer.

I went to open my second, but he grabbed the bottle and opened it with his bare hands. I eyed him suspiciously as we each took a sip of our beers.

"You were going to use your shirt," he spoke up.

"What," I asked, confused.

"To open the bottle. You were going to use your shirt," he explained his reasoning for opening my bottle.

"That's never been a problem before," I challenged, heading back to the couch.

Herman followed, sitting beside me.

"You don't use your shirt like most people do. Most people use the bottom of their shirt, or even the sleeve, if they're long enough. You use the top of your shirt. And I have to admit, I have never seen anyone use the top of their shirt as a bottle opener before. But for some reason, you do," Kozik explained further.

"If it's something I've always done, then why is it suddenly a problem," I asked, watching him now.

"I'm gonna be honest with you, Jenn. Do you think you can handle it," he asked with a laugh.

"Why wouldn't I be able to," I responded, urging him to continue.

"When you use the top of your shirt, and it happens to be something cut like a tank top, you kind of…expose your cleavage," he admitted, quickly chasing his words with more beer.

"Is that a problem for you," I asked with a smirk, taking a sip myself.

"Well, considering that I haven't gotten laid in…well, a couple months or so, it could be," he told me with an honesty I hadn't heard in some time.

"Well, I think I helped push it there, but this conversation quickly took a turn toward awkward," I told him with an embarrassed smile.

"So, I saw you talked to Happy earlier," Kozik asked, changing the subject to something that could potentially be worse than the sexual conversation.

"I did," I admitted. "He came to check on me, I think," I revealed.

"He didn't look thrilled when he left," Herman observed.

"I, um, I told him that I missed him," I responded after lightly choking on a gulp of beer.

"Are you in love with him," Herman asked, surprising me.

Before I could answer, he quickly followed up with an explanation.

"Sorry, it's just…after the drive-by the way the two of you looked at each other. I don't think I've ever seen you look at anyone like that," Herman admitted, seeming bothered by his observation.

"Is this a conversation where I can be truthful with you, or are you going to storm out of here and start something," I asked, feeling like I was being set up.

"Be honest with me, Jenn. Lying to me can only make things harder," he told me.

"I…um, I do love him," I admitted, hoping he wouldn't press further.

"I know you love him. I'm asking if you're in love with him," Kozik specified.

"I am," I told him quietly, looking back up at him to see if his eyes now displayed the anger I imagined.

The rage wasn't there though. He seemed slightly hurt by the truth, but calm and understanding. It surprised me and worried me a little.

"Why aren't you going after him, then," he challenged. "For as long as I've known you, you've gone after what you've wanted, Jenn. Why is this any different?"

"Happy knows…that I still have feelings…for you. He knows I'm confused about how I feel about both of you," I admitted, looking back down at my empty beer bottle.

"Jenn, I know that you've fallen for him. I know that it's my fault that you were put into the position to do so. But please…I'm just asking for one chance. I know I screwed up so badly that I really don't deserve one, but please, I'm begging you, baby," Herman begged, placing his hands with mine. 


	29. 029 Caregiver

*** WelI, it's been built up for a few chapters now…who will Jenn end up with? The big reveal is at hand. Enjoy and let me know what you think! I only own my own OC's. ***

I arrived at TM the next morning and entered the office as usual. I was a bit surprised to find Clay in the office. He usually didn't go in the office unless Gemm was here.

"Everything alright," I asked, hoping I hadn't screwed something up with all my distractions.

"Yeah, I just wanted to stop by and talk to you for a minute," he admitted, motioning for me to sit in Gemma's office chair.

I sat down, setting my purse and keys on the floor next to my chair.

"Did I mess something up," I asked, worrying I had messed up something in the office.

"What? No," he responded with a confused expression.

"Sorry, it's just…I don't usually see you in here. So I thought maybe I did something wrong," I admitted, relaxing some.

"No, no, it's not that. I actually came by to thank you," he revealed.

"Thank me," I asked, wondering why Clay would be thanking me.

"For taking care of TM while Gemma's away and through all this stuff with Jax and Abel. I…we really appreciate it, Jenna. I'm glad you're here right now. We'd be running around this office like chickens with our heads cut off probably. Knowing someone's in here making sure SAMCRO doesn't lose TM, it's a huge relief," he admitted.

I smiled at his kind words.

"Anytime, Clay. And, like I told Jax, if there's anything else I can ever do to help you guys, just let me know," I offered.

"I appreciate it, hon," he responded. "If there's anything you need," he offered in return, "you know where to find me."

"I'll remember that, thanks," I told him.

Clay got up to leave, but suddenly stopped, surprising me.

"Can I ask you something," he asked with curiosity.

"Yeah, what's up," I responded.

"What's going on with you and Hap and Koz. Hap doesn't seem overly eager to share, so I don't bother him about it, but I have to admit that curiosity has gotten the best of me. Besides, I don't trust the sewing circle gossip anyway," he admitted.

I smiled at his last comment, remembering once referring to the Tacoma chapter as the hens in leather.

"Well, you fill me in on the sewing circle, and I'll tell you what's really up," I offered.

He laughed as he took a seat back on the sofa.

"Well, I haven't heard all that much," he admitted. "I heard that either you dumped Happy when Koz showed up in Charming, or that he kicked you to the curb after he saw you kissing Herman. I think that no one is really all that sure what's going on, aside from you three," Clay finished.

"Well, you may be surprised, but I don't even think the three of us know what the fuck is going on. Happy has this idea that I need to get some closure on my relationship with Herman. Herman wants me to give him a chance, thinking we can rekindle what we had," I explained without giving away too much detail.

"Where do you stand on this," Clay asked curious about my strange love triangle.

"Well, I haven't decided whether or not to give Herman a real chance or not yet. I know if I don't, Happy will be pissed. I know if I do, I may end up hurt or hurting someone," I told him truthfully.

"Well, that's a…sticky situation," Clay decided.

"Yeah. You see why I thought I fucked something up in here," I told him with a laugh.

"Are you sick of people's advice, or is it alright if I offer some," he asked.

"By all means, go ahead. I have to make some kind of decision soon, and anything that has a chance to help would be amazing," I responded.

"Well, I'd say it's pretty clear that both guys love you. And you obviously love them both, but…"

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

It was closing time at TM. It was about this time that I usually went inside the clubhouse and had a few beers with the guys. I decided to go see how Jenn was doing. She hadn't stepped out of the office that much during the day. Lyla had showed up earlier in the day with lunch for them both. But other than coffee breaks, she didn't really step out much.

"Oh, shit," she gasped, jumping when I almost ran into her in the doorway.

"Sorry," I apologized, grabbing her arm to ensure she didn't stumble backwards.

"I came to check on you," I admitted, moving out of the way to let her pass through the door.

"Check on me," she asked with confusion.

"You've been cooped up in here all day. I thought maybe something was wrong," I told her.

"Just busy really," she told me, obviously not being completely honest.

"You heading home," I asked as we walked slowly toward her car.

"Yeah. I've seen enough paper work for the day," she admitted with a laugh.

"Do you mind if I make sure you make it home alright," I asked, worried about her being out alone and having no way of knowing if she ever even made it home.

* * * Happy's Point of View * * *

I lit a cigarette, sitting on the picnic table. The shop was closing up and any leads on Abel were all turning up dead ends. I hated to think like this, but I was starting to wonder if we'd ever find Jax's son at all.

As I smoked, I saw Koz heading over to the office, probably looking for Jenna. I typically didn't watch them interact, worried that something would bother me, even though I sent her back to him. But for some reason, I decided to finish my cigarette and watch them.

They were talking as he walked her to her car. I watched as he opened the car door for her, allowing her to get into the driver seat. She rolled down the window, and they continued to talk, with him leaning down to talk to her through the now open window.

I was a bit surprised when he headed over to his bike. And then I watched as he followed her out of the lot.

I heard someone using a lighter behind me. I knew who it was without hearing their voice or seeing their body. I could smell the familiar scent of Clay's cigars.

"Did you talk to her," I asked, wondering how that conversation would have gone over.

"Yeah, I did," he told me.

"And," I asked, wondering what she had told him.

"I think she's trying to understand," he revealed.

"Is she going to try," I asked, needing to know if she was going to get the closure I wanted for her.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I pulled into the driveway with Koz pulling in beside me. I got out of the car and signaled for him to turn off his bike.

"Everything okay," he asked, noticeably getting ready to head back to the clubhouse.

"You want to come in," I asked, quickly detecting the surprise in his expression.

"You sure," he questioned, discernibly thrown off by my invite.

"You wanted a chance, didn't you," I asked with a smile.

I turned and headed toward the door with him following.

"I just thought that maybe I made you feel uncomfortable last night," Herman told me.

"Look, sweetie, there are some things you need to learn about me. If you're interested in trying to work things out, you should probably get to know the real me," I suggested as I unlocked the door. "If you can handle that, then you get your chance."

"The real you," he began. "Jenn, I'd say we know each other pretty intimately," he told me, following me inside.

"Koz, I know you've heard stories about me. About when I was in Charming before. You've probably even convinced yourself that they're exaggerated versions," I began as I headed into the kitchen.

"Are you telling me that you're really the booze guzzling, porn star assaulting, cat fighting woman who's been caught by everyone from Gemma to the police having sex with Jax," Herman questioned skeptically as I handed him a few beers to carry back to the living room.

We sat before I continued, "Opie, Jax, Chibs, anything they told you was true. I love alcohol and weed, which you already knew. I will not hesitate to hit a bitch if she gets her hands on something that's mine, and even if she doesn't. And I have been caught by Gemma multiple times, as well as Chibs, Opie, Tara, Luann, and the police once. And I'm perfectly okay with shooting anyone who threatens me or my family."

"So, why the, well, not completely, but innocent act up in Tacoma," he questioned.

"I never said I was innocent," I reminded him. "You thought you found yourself a good girl and jumped at the chance."

"I don't understand, Jenn," Herman admitted.

"Dad didn't like what I had become. He thought that Jax was a bad influence and that SAMCRO was having a bad effect on me. So he moved me out to Tacoma, where I couldn't get in any trouble. At least, not while Jax was in Charming. I'm done hiding who I am for anyone. I suppressed my true self for Billy, but I won't do that again, Herman. I need you to understand that while yes, I'm not a handful 24/7, it's very likely that you're going to have to deal with me…acting a fool, as Billy put it," I finished.

I halfway expected him to say something in response. Instead, he leaned over and kissed me. I kissed him back, taking this as his acceptance of my terms.

It wasn't too long before he pulled away. His expression showed evident regret in his action. I continued to watch him. Then I was confused when he got up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going," I asked, getting up and following him.

"I, uh, I should head back to the clubhouse," he suggested, apparently having self control issues at this point.

"Herman, stay here with me," I told him. "I know I said that I wasn't ready for us to go to that level, and I meant it. I promise, I won't let it go there unless I'm ready," I told him.

"After the conversation we just had, I'm not sure if that's really possible," he told me with a smile.

"Trust me, and come on. I wanted to talk to you some more," I told him, grabbing his hand and leading him back toward the couch.

"Okay, so what did you want to talk about," Herman asked, calming himself as he sat next to me and grabbed a beer.

"For starters, where are you guys at with finding Abel," I asked, hoping for some good news.

"The last thing we know for certain was that Hayes crossed over into Canada with him," Herman admitted.

"I guess that means SAMCRO will be leaving soon to go after him," I speculated. "Do you think you'll be going with them?"

"Well, some of the Sons will have to stay behind. You know, keep an eye on our local interests. I was thinking about staying. Do you want me to stay," he asked, watching me for my answer.

"I do," I admitted with a smile.

The next morning, I once again woke up beside Herman on my couch. I was only slightly surprised that I had convinced him to stay the night with me. I knew he was likely frustrated. He had mentioned previously that he hadn't gotten laid in some time. And with me being as blunt and flirtatious as I was, I imagined him trying to bail on me early. Instead he decided to stick it out and keep me company until we fell asleep.

Since I didn't have to go into TM today, I had every intention of sleeping in. But just as I nestled against his chest, I was disturbed by the doorbell ringing.

Sighing, I got up while Herman sat up, confused about where he was and what was going on.

I opened the door to see Lyla.

"You forgot, didn't you," she told me as I stepped aside to let her inside.

"What," I asked as she glanced around the room.

"Oh, I see why you forgot," she said with a suggestive smile.

"What the fuck is going on," Herman asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Don't worry about it, you can go back to sleep," I told him while dragging Lyla into the kitchen.

"Okay, I can forgive you for forgetting about our shopping trip," Lyla began.

I interrupted, "shit, is that today?"

"Yeah, today. I said I'd pick you up at noon. It's already twelve-thirty," she told me. "You have to give me details," she told me, entirely too bubbly for me having just woke up.

"Details," I asked, still not processing everything she was saying.

"She wants you to tell her about the sex," Kozik told me with a laugh, entering the kitchen and heading over to the coffee pot.

Lyla simply smirked, while my brain finally decided to put two and two together.

"We didn't have sex," Herman clarified, making a pot of coffee.

"I find that hard to believe," Lyla responded, looking us both over momentarily as she sat at the dining table.

"Why is that so hard to believe," I questioned, slightly offended.

"You and Hap were like rabbits," Lyla revealed, surprisingly causing my jaw to drop.

"And thank you for making this awkward," I told her, following up with, "because it already wasn't."

I grabbed three coffee mugs and took them over to Herman, who was watching both of us with an entertained expression.

"What are you smirking at," I challenged, setting the mugs down beside him.

"You got defensive pretty quick," he teased with a laugh.

"I didn't think you necessarily needed to know that bit of information," I responded, matter-of-factly.

"Jenn, it's no secret that you have a very…healthy sexual appetite," he responded in turn.

"So, what, does everyone discuss this little tidbit," I wondered out loud.

"Yes," they both answered simultaneously.

"Great, now I'll wonder what people are talking about all the time," I responded.

"You sure are cranky when you just wake up," Lyla observed with a jesting smile. "Maybe if you had gotten laid last night you'd be in a better mood," she added in with a joking laugh.

"My mood has nothing to do with whether I get laid or not," I challenged, hopping up on the counter to wait for my coffee.

"I hate to break it to you, babe, but it does," Herman told me as he began pouring three cups of coffee.

"No," I argued. "Maybe you were just in a better mood after you got laid and thought it affected my mood."

"Nope," he began, moving to hand Lyla her cup. "Black alright," he paused to ask her.

"Perfect," she responded, eager to watch the show continue.

As she took her cup, Herman returned to the other two cups and continued his assault.

"Prove it," I challenged stubbornly.

"Before you and I were together, I could always tell when you had seen Jax. You were always in a better mood the next day," he admitted with a laugh. "Then, before you or Happy admitted anything about the first time you two slept together, I knew the day after. You were suddenly in a much brighter mood than anyone had seen you in for ages," he revealed.

I couldn't even rebuttal at this point. I remembered the morning after being with Happy for the first time. My spirits were definitely up.

Herman brought my cup to me, setting in my defeated hands while he set his on the counter next to me.

"It's alright, Jenn. I always thought it was hott that you were always ready to go," he teased, placing his hands on either side of me on the counter before leaning in to kiss me.

I kissed him back, setting my cup of coffee next to his. It wasn't long before I deepened the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. I could tell Lyla felt like she was intruding on a private moment, because she suddenly got quiet and started focusing on her cup of coffee. I gently ran my nails across his shoulder and back down his chest. I knew he liked the feeling of my nails grazing him. He proved how well I knew him, when the sensation caused him to groan lightly.

Smirking, I suddenly pulled away, slipping off of the counter and ducking out under his arm. I turned for only a moment to see the surprise and sexual frustration. I smirked back at him as he turned his head to look at me, still leaning against the counter.

"Who's left hott and bothered now," I teased, heading off toward the bedroom to change.

"See what you started," Kozik told Lyla, now regretting teaming up with Lyla to battle me.

"Sorry," Lyla apologized, trying to contain her laughter.

An hour later, I was dressed and heading out the door with Lyla to go shopping. Koz was heading over to the clubhouse.

"You two are so cute together," Lyla commented as we made it to the end of the street.

"Yeah, and next time we go out for drinks, the first three rounds are on you," I told her with a laugh.

"What? What did I do," she challenged.

"You brought up the whole sex thing. We're definitely not there yet, so now I'm feeling like things may get awkward," I admitted.

"Yeah, okay, I'll get the first three, then. I swear, though, I totally thought that's why you two were waking up together," she admitted.

"We stayed up late talking, Ly. We fell asleep," I revealed.

"My bad," she apologized.

"It's cool. I just was hoping to put off the awkwardness of it all, I guess," I told her, staring out the window.

"I was kinda surprised that he didn't get pissed when I brought up you and Hap. That was a total accident, by the way. I swear, I wasn't thinking when I said it," she apologized once more.

"You know, I was kind of surprised about that too," I admitted. "I thought for sure things were going to get very tense and strange," I confided.

"I wish Opie was that cool about things," Lyla admitted.

"What do you mean," I questioned, never really knowing Ope to be the jealous type.

"Nothing. He just hates what I do for a living, I guess," she confided.

"If I've learned anything over the years of being around the Sons, they have this very distinct need to know that when they choose a woman that her pussy is theirs," I revealed. "I've never really known Opie to be jealous, but at the same time, Opie has never dated anyone who he feels like he has to share, if that makes sense. Just give him some time, Lyla, he'll either come around or I'll tell him to settle the fuck down," I promised.

"I hope you're right. I really like Opie, and I don't want things ruined because of the job I chose," she admitted.

"Opie cares about you, I can tell. Just try to be patient with him," I suggested with a kind smile.

"Thanks," she appreciated before changing the subject.

"So, have you spoken to Happy lately," Lyla requested curiously.

"I talked to him the other day. He stopped by to make sure I wasn't emotionally scarred from that drive-by," I told her, the disdain in my voice very clear.

"That wasn't the only reason he stopped by, Jenn. I think he wanted to see you," Lyla theorized.

"I asked him to come back, Ly. He told me no," I revealed.

"I told you before, girl, he wants to know for sure that you and Koz are done," she once again theorized.

"He told me that he wanted me to get closure," I summed up, obviously irritated.

"Well, you and Kozik seem to be getting along just fine," she commented.

"Yeah, I guess. We've been hanging out and talking a lot," I told her.

"How you aren't doing more, I don't know," she teased again.

"I do have some self-control, thank you," I responded with a hint of a laugh.

"Honey, I saw how much you both wanted each other in that kitchen. The sexual tension in there couldn't be cut with a knife, it was so damned thick," she observed.

*** I know a lot of you will be upset about Jenn and Koz. Trust me and stay tuned, you haven't seen the end of Jenn and Happy just yet! ***


	30. 030 Home

*** I only own my own OC's. ***

"Let me see," Lyla practically demanded while I checked out my new ink in the floor-length mirror.

"I like it," I responded, turning around so Lyla could check out the finished product.

"Oh, nice," she responded with a smile.

I quickly paid and tipped Brandon, the guy who helped me with my addition.

"Thanks, man. I'll definitely come back," I assured him.

After my mother's death, I got a pink and orange sparrow on my right shoulder blade. I had been meaning to get something for dad, but wasn't sure where in Charming to go. I knew Happy had experience tattooing, but I really didn't want to go to him. Not right now. The addition was a blue and orange sparrow, which flew next to the pink and orange one.

"You have to go into TM," Lyla asked, unsure of where to take me.

"Yeah," I responded, sitting in the passenger seat of her car.

"You want me to drop you at TM, or at your place," she asked, remembering that my car was still at my house.

"TM," I answered. "I'll just have Koz take me home," I decided, figuring he would likely want to come over after he was done with club business.

Herman had spent most nights at my place. We slept on the couch together every night that he stayed with me. I was surprised at his restraint when it came to intimacy. I could see his frustration during any slip up. I tried very hard not to lead him on or tempt him, knowing that I wasn't ready to trust him in my bed just yet. However, every now and then I would slip up and do something that would catch his interest.

"So, what do you think about hitting up that new bar over there," she asked, pulling me out of my pondering state.

"Right now," I questioned incredulously. "Ly, it's only noon."

"No, not right now," she responded with a laugh. "Maybe tonight. If you don't have anything to do," she suggested.

"I don't have any plans," I admitted. "I'm on board. Just remember, first three rounds are on you," I reminded her.

"Do I get to pick the drinks," she asked deviously.

"You pick the first, I'll pick the second, and we'll take a recommendation for the third. I'm not sure I trust you to pick something that isn't fucking horrible," I admitted with a laugh.

Before long, we pulled into the TM parking lot. Lyla pulled into a space and from here we went our separate ways. She went inside the clubhouse to see Opie, while I entered the office to take care of any new paper work.

After the guys closed up the shop, Herman came into the office.

"What's with the bandage," he asked, noticing the taped gauze on my shoulder blade.

"Take a look," I offered. "You can go ahead and take it off," I added in. "I only kept the gauze one cause I didn't want it to rub against the chair," I explained.

Carefully, Herman removed the taped gauze and took a look at my newest addition. He smiled to himself, not thinking I noticed.

"What are you smirking about," I asked, catching his reflection in the covered glass of the window.

"How did you see that," he asked, glancing around.

"The window," I told him with a laugh. "Now quit avoiding the question. What went through your mind? Do you hate it," I asked, hoping that he wasn't laughing at me.

"No, I don't hate it. Why would I hate it," he asked curiously.

I turned to face him now.

"The sparrows. I know it's something that everyone gets now, but I didn't just pick them because of their popularity or cute factor," I told him. "I don't know if you've ever seen a picture of my mom, other than the one that was on dad's desk. She's pretty covered in that one."

"I've only ever seen the one on his desk," Herman admitted.

"You wouldn't be able to tell by that picture, but my ma was addicted to ink. She had sleeves that connected via her back and shoulders. All sparrows and pirate shit. She was so into pirate lore. I originally got the pink and orange one in memory of her. And I wanted to get something for dad, but I didn't know what," I admitted.

"So why the blue and orange sparrow," Herman questioned.

"It hit me this morning. She used to call dad her great sparrow, because they're the ones that only breed in isolated pairs," I explained.

He smiled again, making me wonder what he was thinking.

"What are you thinking about," I asked curiously.

"I was just thinking that if I get transferred to SAMCRO, you'll one day wind up with another bird on you," he told me, surprising me by his bold confidence.

In a bit of a panic, I questioned him, "is that your way of claiming me as your old lady?"

He smiled again, only this time his smile was more serene, "baby, I can't claim what I don't have."

I simply stood there, my expression slightly pained.

"Hey, don't," he started, pulling me towards him. "I'll get you back, Jenn."

I was starting to believe he was right. Happy hadn't spoken to me since he said he was checking on me after the drive-by.

"Hey, Lyla wants to go to this bar tonight. First three rounds are on her. You interested in going," I asked, surprised to find myself feeling hopeful that his response was a yes.

"Yeah," he answered. "We'll need to stop and pick up your car though. I don't want you intoxicated on my bike," he admitted.

An hour later, I had quickly changed into a cute, bright pink dress. The bright color, or at least I convinced myself it was the brightness, immediately caught Herman's attention.

"Wow," he commented simply.

"You ready," I asked with a smile.

"Definitely," he responded, following me out the door.

The car ride wasn't long, but it felt like it was much longer than it actually was. I noticed Kozik, several times, glancing over at me. I wasn't sure why, but I suddenly felt nervous with him.

When we got to the bar Lyla was wanting to try out, I stepped out of the car. In what seemed like a matter of seconds, Herman was around the car reaching for my hand. I smiled at him before placing my hand in his and allowing him to guide me into the bar.

Immediately, he spotted Opie and Lyla. I was a bit shocked to see Tara and Jackson as well. They were all situated at a table, obviously waiting for us. Koz and I wandered over and sat with them, prompting the waitress to come over.

Lyla spoke to her first, "two shots of Goldschlager."

"Oh, what the fuck," I challenged, sitting beside Koz, who appeared to object to the horrendous liquor himself.

"You said the first one was my call," she told me with a pompous smirk.

"Everyone here took a shot of it," I challenged.

"Yep," Jax answered, "trust me, I would never admit to drinking that shit unless it was necessary."

"Jackson Teller," I called out, "why did you drink it?! If you hadn't drank it, then I wouldn't have to!"

"Sorry, I sort of remembered that you hated it from when we were in school together," Tara admitted.

"Alright," I said, calming a bit as the waitress brought Koz and I shots of Goldschlager. "I've got all of you," I responded, reluctantly grabbing my shot.

Kozik grabbed his, cringing as he held it up, "don't think, just drink."

I looked at the waitress, "a round of Jameson, on her," I ordered, pointing at Lyla.

The waitress looked at Lyla, who nodded that it was fine.

She disappeared as Koz and I both forced ourselves to down the cinnamon-flavored liquor. In a huff, I slammed down the shot glass, making a disgusted face as I did so.

Soon the waitress returned with the second round of Jameson shots.

"I guess someone's getting lucky tonight," Opie commented, earning a punch to the arm from me.

"What," he challenged. "Just so you know, Koz, tequila doesn't make this girl's clothes fall off. Irish whiskey does the trick," Opie offered, tormenting me.

"And how would you know," Lyla challenged, looking from me to Opie.

"Yeah, Ope, why don't you just open that can of worms," I challenged, refusing to make eye contact with Jackson, who knew first hand what we were talking about.

"Go ahead, Opie. I heard about a couple of the Jameson nights. Make sure Lyla knows it wasn't you," Tara offered with a devious smirk, surprising both Jax and myself.

"Oh, Tara Knowles, you will pay," I let her know before we all took our shots of Jameson.

"Jenn took off her clothes for Jax many times after getting some Jameson in her," Opie revealed, earning my a death glare.

"Oh trust me, tequila makes her clothes fall off too" Herman revealed, earning a smack on the chest.

"What the fuck," I challenged.

"Okay, so what should the next round be," Lyla asked, "it's on me."

"How about drinker's choice, as long as it's a shot," Opie suggested.

Everyone agreed.

Once the waitress came back, we had each ordered our respective shots. There were two shots of Jack, three of tequila (including mine), and one of Goldschlager.

Over the next hour of joking and story telling, I ordered a few rounds of jello shots for us girls, and we all ordered our respective drinks, with me sticking to beer other than the jello shots.

I stepped outside to have a cigarette, finding the bar too crowded and smoky. I was surprised to see Jax join me.

"Hey, how are you, Jax," I asked, hoping he was really okay.

"I'm dealing," he admitted.

"I have to admit, I was surprised to see you here tonight," I told him.

"Honestly, I only came out because Opie asked me to. Kind of like another buffer between Tara and Lyla," he admitted.

"Jackson, why don't you go home, hon. I know you're worried. Go get some rest. Koz and I can take Tara home," I offered.

"I appreciate the offer, hon, but Tara's ready to head out now anyway. I'm just waiting out here for her to come out after saying bye to everyone," Jackson revealed.

"Hey, the offer still stands. Anything I can do to help you, the MC, Gemm…anything, just let me know," I told him before hugging him goodbye.

"Thank you, Jenn," he appreciated.

"I think Koz is about to come out here looking for you," Tara warned, a bit on the intoxicated side.

"I'm heading back in now. I'll see you guys later," I told them both before disappearing back into the bar.

When I returned, Lyla and Opie were getting pretty cozy with her in his lap and their faces practically glued together. I could see why Herman was about to come outside now. I decided to get both of us out of here. Watching those two make out like horny teenagers would definitely not help the tension between Kozik and myself.

"You wanna take me home," I asked, smiling down at him as I stood next to him while he sat.

"Yeah," he admitted, obviously not enjoying watching Lyla and Opie.

"Hey, Ly, Ope," I called out to them over the noise as Herman got to his feet.

They reluctantly broke apart to acknowledge me.

"We're heading out, okay. See you two later," I told them both.

"It was good hanging out with you again, Jenn," Opie told me with a glazed smile.

"Yeah, we'll have to get together again like this," Lyla suggested.

"Definitely," I responded, suddenly feeling Herman's arm drape across my shoulder.

He quickly told Opie and Lyla goodbye before guiding me out of the bar.

"In a hurry," I questioned as we made it to the cool night air.

"A little," he admitted.

"Why," I asked, wondering what was on his mind.

"I'd rather go watch you play your games, or play them with you, instead of watching Opie and Lyla make out all night," he admitted with a laugh.

The car ride home was much more interesting than the ride to the bar. I wasn't quite drunk, but I wasn't exactly sober. I guess you could say that I was right on that line. I could safely say that one more shot of anything would do me in.

He pulled into the garage, causing us to enter through the dining room.

"Do you need to head out, or are you staying," I asked, slipping the black heels off and turning to face him.

"I can stay, if you want," he offered.

"Were you planning to head back to the clubhouse," I asked, wondering why he seemed reluctant.

"I figured you'd probably just pass out or something and that I should head back and let you sleep," he told me as I approached him.

"And if I asked you to stay, would you," I requested, placing my arms around his neck.

"I'm not sure I should. You've had quite a few drinks," he thought out loud, looking down into my eyes.

"I'm not drunk, if that's what you're wondering," I told him with a laugh. "I just want you to stay here with me," I admitted.

Finding out that I wasn't completely drunk must have been a comfort to him, because he gently placed his hands on my hips.

"So, are you worried that I'll try to seduce you, or that you'll cave," I questioned teasingly.

"Honestly, a little of both," he admitted with a smile.

I took a step backwards, bringing him with me as I now leaned against the dining room table.

"What are you doing," he asked, confused.

"I know I said I wasn't ready," I began.

Herman interrupted, "Jenn, I'm not doing this while you're in any way inebriated."

I smiled up at him, "you didn't let me finish."

"Okay…finish," he agreed. "I'm warning you right now though. Another reason I planned on heading back to the clubhouse was because seeing you in that dress is just killing me."

"Is it now," I responded with a teasing smirk.

"Jenn," he began to protest.

"Relax, hon. I won't let it get too far. I just thought it could be fun to…get reacquainted while testing out some self-control," I revealed as I let the pink dress fall to the floor.

I kind of expected him to back away from me, but found myself surprised when he placed his hands back on my hips. I kept my eyes locked on his as he lifted me to sit on the table. I used my legs to pull him closer, pressing my lips to his.

I woke up the next morning, once again on the couch with Herman. This wake up was a bit different. This time we were both laying curled up in our underwear. I was only a little taken aback when I noticed that Herman was already awake.

I smiled when I looked up at him, causing him to smile back.

"How long have you been awake," I asked, laying my head against his bare chest once more.

"About ten or fifteen minutes," he admitted, wrapping his arms around me again.

"You wish you had gone back to the clubhouse last night," I questioned, tracing the outline of one of his tattoos with my fingernail.

"I'm definitely glad I stayed," he admitted with a smile.

We laid there silently for a few minutes.

"What's on your mind, Jenn? I can see those cogs working from here," he questioned with inquisitiveness.

"I was just thinking…about you," I confessed.

"What about me," he wondered.

"I know I've been…hesitant with you. I've been very cautious. And I have to admit, that it's only partially to do with how things ended with us in Tacoma," I told him, suddenly feeling an immense amount of pressure.

"Happy," he questioned in a knowing manner.

"Yeah," I disclosed, not looking at him anymore.

"It's alright. I knew that you had feelings for him going into this. I'm sure it only makes things more difficult and confusing for you. I just have to know one thing, baby," he requested.

"What's that," I asked.

"Did me being here last night…did it feel wrong," he asked.

"That's what makes things more confusing, Herman. Everything that did and didn't happen last night…felt right. Your lips…your hands…your affection…it made me realize exactly how much I missed you," I told him.

I passed by Lyla later that morning in the parking lot of TM.

"Hey, Lyla," I greeted, heading toward the office, as I was running late.

"Hey, Jenn. Wait up," she called, turning and continuing to follow me to the office.

"What's up," I questioned, placing my things down as I quickly grabbed a stack of papers from the top of on of the file cabinets.

"Did you two," she began, noticing my still flushed state.

"What? No," I answered, finally looking up at her.

"Bullshit," she responded. "You two left looking pretty cozy and now you show up here late, and looking disheveled," she commented.

"We didn't have sex, Ly. We just had…well, one of the hottest make out sessions I've ever been involved in," I revealed. "I, um, I couldn't do it. I wanted to. I mean, I wanted Koz, but I couldn't take things that far," I admitted.

"Because of Happy," Lyla figured.

I didn't answer, but she knew better.

"Maybe you should talk to him, hon," she reasoned.

"I can't talk to Happy about my…urges for another man, Ly," I tried to reason in return.

I sighed in frustration, "I'll just have to…figure it out as I go."

"You told me once that Happy was big on communication between the two of you," Lyla began. "Maybe now is a time to communicate."

"Maybe," I responded, hoping to force her to drop the entire thing.

Several hours later, I was finishing up the last of the paper work. I had expected Koz to drop by, since he had been recently. Instead, I found myself surprised when the one who entered the door was a woman.

"Gemm, what are you doing here? They told me," I began.

She interrupted, "I need to see Abel. Where is he?"

I wasn't sure what to tell her. I knew that I couldn't be the one to tell her the truth. News like that needed to come from Jackson or Clay. I wasn't sure how to handle this. So I improvised the best way I knew how.

"Gemm, you need to call Jackson," I suggested, watching her pull out her ringing cell.

"Gemm, everything okay," I asked, slowly approaching.

She slowly answered the phone and just as slowly stepped outside. Concerned, I followed her out into the parking lot.

"Gemm," I called again.

She ignored me and listened to her caller.

"Oh my God," I exclaimed when I saw her suddenly collapse in the parking lot.

I rushed toward her as SAMCRO filed into the parking lot on their bikes. I knelt down beside her as members quickly raced over. There was a lot of noise, but I couldn't understand what anyone was saying. There were too many voices and loud noises at once.

I only knew one thing for sure, whoever Gemma spoke to, they told her about Abel. Be it Cameron Hayes or another enemy of SAMCRO, whoever spoke to her on the phone told her the horrible news of her grandson's kidnapping. 


	31. 031 Turning and Turning

* * * I feel like I've really been in the zone on these. Got this chapter pumped out much quicker than I thought I would. Love all the feedback! Seeing everyone root either way is awesome. Enjoy, and I look forward to reading your reviews! I only own my own OC's. * * *

I laid on the couch, again in Herman's arms. I carefully left the couch and stepped into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and to have a cigarette. I sat on the counter while the coffee brewed and inhaled my first does of nicotine.

As I sat there, I couldn't help but run recent events through my mind. No matter how bad things got, I couldn't help but wonder where Happy was and what he was doing.

The coffee finally finished brewing. I poured two cups and returned to the living room. I wasn't ready to wake Herman yet. So instead I sat in the nearby chair and sipped on my coffee. My mind continued to wander.

I decided that Happy was probably busy with club business. That coupled with the fact that he was likely also avoiding me. He probably figured I would try convincing him to come back.

Herman shifted on the couch. This caught my attention. I watched him sleep for a moment. My eyes wandered from his peaceful, sleeping face. My eyes moved to his tattooed neck. I had always been attracted to men with ink. From there, I caught myself admiring his thick chest, muscular arms, and athletic abs. As I lightly bit my lower lip, I set down my cup of coffee.

Carefully, I laid back on the couch with him. I leaned over and gently kissed him on the lips. His eyes opened, causing me to pull back and look into his eyes. He wore the goofy smile he usually had when he woke up.

"Jenn," he greeted.

"Hey," I greeted, returning the smile.

"What's going on, baby," he questioned.

I responded by kissing him, quickly running my fingers through his blonde locks. He pulled me closer, deepening the surprising wake up kiss. Hungrily, I moved my hands to unclasp his belt.

"Woah, Jenn, what are you doing," he asked, looking into my eyes for an answer.

"I want you," I told him, lightly biting my lower lip.

"I'm definitely not complaining, Jenn, but I thought you wanted to wait. What's gotten into you," he asked, obviously worried that he might ruin things by going through with this.

"Koz, in the least mean way possible…shut up and come here," I told him, pulling his lips back towards mine.

Later…

Herman and I sat on the back patio, smoking. If anyone had come by at that moment, they could easily guess what we had been doing. He sat there in just boxers, while I wore his t-shirt. We both wore a layer of sweat and each sported messy hair. I sat in his lap. We both quickly lost interest in our cigarettes, back to kissing each other once more.

"You know, Jenn, I like being here in Charming with you. I was heading in a dark direction in Tacoma," he revealed, breaking the kiss.

"Tacoma's a pit," I commented. "It drains your happiness and kills any livelihood you may have had," I added in.

"Last time I we had church in Tacoma, I requested a transfer," Koz admitted.

We sat there silently for a moment. He must have become worried, because he questioned my silence.

"You alright, Jenn? I mean, are you okay with that," he questioned.

I turned to face him, looking into his captivating blue eyes. I only contemplated his question for a moment before gently kissing him.

With Gemma in the hospital and SAMCRO still searching for Abel, I continued to work at TM. Lyla came in around one with a couple of bags of food.

"Hungry, hon," she asked, setting the bags on the desk.

"Always," I answered with a smile as she began pulling out cheeseburgers and fries.

When she stopped setting things down, I looked up to make sure everything was okay.

"What," I questioned when I noticed that she was staring at me with a curious smirk.

"You're all glowy," she commented. "Are…are you pregnant?"

My heart jumped into my throat at hearing that question.

"What?! No," I exclaimed.

"Oh," she responded, looking disappointed.

She quickly perked up again.

"You caved, didn't you," she decided.

I didn't answer. I knew she would assume that I had slept with Koz regardless of my answer.

"You did," she excitedly bantered.

"Okay," I admitted. "I caved."

Quickly Lyla moved to close the door.

"What happened," she asked, craving details.

"Well, when two people have certain feelings and urges," I began sarcastically.

"Shut up. You know what I mean. Did you initiate, or did he," she asked, sitting across from me and beginning to munch on fries.

"You know you have to take things slowly with me Ly. I'm not used to this girl talk thing," I reminded her.

"I ask questions, you answer. It's simple," she told me in a smart-assed tone.

I flipped her off in response.

"I think you already did that," she teased, arching her eyebrows.

"Fine, I'll participate. But take it easy, okay," I requested.

"So? Who initiated," she asked with a smirk.

"I did," I admitted.

"Was this last night," she continued her questioning.

"This morning," I admitted, using the fries and my tea to busy myself.

"So what changed your mind? I mean, yesterday you were skeptical about this," Lyla requested.

"I don't know. I mean, I just couldn't…help myself," I admitted. "I saw him, and it was like I just saw everything that made me want him before."

That night, rather than leaving to go home, I entered the clubhouse. I found Koz playing pool with Opie. I went over to the bar and grabbed a couple beers.

"I was gonna finish up this game, then come get you, babe," he told me, surprised to see me in the clubhouse.

"I thought maybe we could hang out, have a few drinks or whatever," I suggested, handing him a beer.

"Alright," he agreed, smiling at me now.

"I'm gonna go chat with Lyla for a bit," I told him, taking my beer and heading toward the bar where Lyla sat.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

"So you two are good then," Opie asked, pulling my attention away from Jenn.

"Yeah, I think so. I told her about the transfer," I admitted as he took his shot.

"She cool with that," he asked, stepping aside so I could take my shot.

"Well, I was a little worried at first, because she didn't say anything. But when I asked her if she was alright with it, she kissed me. So, I guess I can take that as a good sign," I reasoned.

"Hell, with Jenn, if she doesn't throw something at you or yell at you, that's usually a good sign," Opie joked.

"Hey, sweetie," a strangely familiar voice greeted.

"And it looks like you might get to see some of that throwing stuff or yelling," Opie commented, suddenly looking entertained.

I felt someone gently rub their hand up and down my arm. Knowing that it wasn't Jenn, I turned in confusion. I jumped back a bit when I saw bright, fiery red hair.

Seriously…this shit was not happening right now.

"Haven't seen you around in a while," she commented flirtatiously.

"Yeah, just came back into town," I answered, trying not to bee too rude.

"Maybe we can have a little fun again," she offered, moving to sit sexily on the pool table.

I cringed a bit. I must have really been wasted to think this was hott before.

"Sorry, hon, not interested," I told her, as Opie watched with an entertained smirk.

"You were interested last time," she challenged, throwing what she must have thought was a sexy smirk. It looked more like constipated pouting.

She had nothing on Jenn. How the hell could I have thought this was worth it?

"Look, sweetie, you see that sexy little brunette over there," I began, pointing over to Jenna.

She scoffed when she saw Jenn. Obviously a more natural beauty wasn't her style. That could be why she had the Ronald McDonald red hair, and I was starting to think a few botox injections and a boob job.

"The mousy brunette," she requested harshly.

"You can call her whatever you want. I do know one thing's for sure, though. If she catches you over here, she's gonna flip shit. That doesn't bode well for either of us," I warned her, trying my best to get rid of the croweater without downright telling her to fuck off.

"Wasn't she a blonde last time you two were here," the woman asked.

"Yeah, but I don't see why that matters," I responded.

"Well, obviously blondes didn't have enough fun, or you wouldn't have come to me. And I doubt that brunettes have any fun at all," she criticized.

I was starting to lose my patience. This broad just didn't take no for an answer. And Opie wasn't helping matters. He merely stood there laughing and enjoying my struggle.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

"Oh, no," Lyla slowly voiced, cringing as she said the words.

"What," I asked, turning to look in the direction she was staring.

I turned to see the false redhead. Immediately my blood began to boil. I immediately wanted to go over and throw the little skank out of the clubhouse by her clowned up hair. Instead, I downed my beer.

"Ly, can you grab me another one of these," I asked hopefully.

"Yeah. Just don't use it to kill her. I don't want to be an accomplice," Lyla half-jokingly begged.

I watched Herman uncomfortably and unsuccessfully tried to get the croweater to back off. I also noticed that Opie seemed to enjoy watching Herman struggle, likely thinking that I would explode at any moment.

Lyla returned with the beer. I quickly chugged down the beer before getting to my feet. I kept my eyes on the girl, but I felt the eyes of several people on me at this moment. I noticed that she was sitting on the corner of the pool table with her back to me.

"Well, obviously blondes didn't have enough fun, or you wouldn't have come to me. And I doubt brunettes have any fun at all," the redhead criticized.

I took opportunity to capitalize on her being unaware of my presence. I grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her backwards, off of the corner of the pool table.

She immediately scrambled for her hair, screaming until I let her fall to the floor on her ass.

"You stupid bitch," she responded, surprising me with how quickly she got to her feet.

"Back the fuck off, whore," I warned her.

She didn't seem to like that. Not at all. She ran at me, using her shoulder to shove me back first into the pool table. I grunted in pain before jabbing my knee up, hitting the tramp in the face. She immediately backed away with her hands covering her face. She pulled one hand away from her face to look and see that her nose was now bloody.

"You broke my fucking nose, you bitch," she whined in a nasally manner.

The two of us tried to go at each other again, but I guess once blood had been drawn, the guys had decided things had gone too far. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind, pulling me away from the scene. Meanwhile, Tig grabbed a hold of the redhead, who's hair now matched her blood.

I heard a lot of chatter as my captor hauled me out of the clubhouse. I couldn't be sure what was being said, I was literally and figuratively only seeing red. Koz managed to scoop me up and throw me over his shoulder, carrying me outside. It was then that I noticed Happy had been sitting with Tig at the bar. He looked from the bloody croweater to me and returned his attention to his beer.

Once we were outside, Herman placed me on one of the tables. I immediately, tried to get up and go back inside, wanting nothing more than to damage that slut's face for good. He swiftly grabbed me from behind, sitting in one of the chairs and pulling me to sit in his lap. I obviously wasn't going anywhere.

"You gonna calm down," he asked quietly, forcing me to try harder to hear him.

"Let me go," I ordered.

"Calm down," he firmly but gently ordered in return.

"I'm gonna make sure that fucking bitch doesn't come back here," I told him, still struggling against him.

He was too strong, and I knew it. I wasn't getting away unless he wanted me to. I huffed in defeat as he kept me close against his chest.

"Jenn, nothing happened. I was trying to get rid of her," Kozik admitted.

"I know," I admitted, forcing myself to relax more.

He still wasn't letting go of me. Not until he was positive that I wouldn't try running off again.

"Why'd you attack her, then? I mean, if you knew nothing was going to happen, what was the point," he questioned as Lyla appeared with a couple of beers.

She cautiously set them on the table before speaking up, "I'll give you guys a few. You need anything else?"

"No, we're good. Thanks, Lyla," he told her appreciatively.

"That…girl…she hasn't been around her for months. The only reason she showed up here is because you're here. She needs to know that you aren't an option for her," I told him through gritted teeth.

"Calm down, baby. I'm not going anywhere and I'm certainly not doing anything with her," he promised, kissing my cheek.

He slowly, but deliberately kissed down my neck, knowing that sensitive spot that always made me melt. When I couldn't handle the teasing anymore, I turned my head to allow my lips to meet his.

"Woah," a familiar voice interrupted. "Am I interrupting?"

"Yes," Koz responded, partially serious.

"You alright, hon," Tig asked, sitting in a nearby chair and ignoring Koz, who had released his grip on me by now.

"I'm fine. Though I'm not sure how I'll be tomorrow with the damn assault charges," I responded.

"Don't worry about that, Jenn. I convinced her not to press charges," Tig revealed.

"How the hell did you do that," I asked, surprised.

"I told her that everyone in the room saw her hit you first, so it was clearly a case of self-defense. I also reminded her that no one is going to take some coke whore seriously," he told me with a laugh.

"Oh, wow. Every time I see or learn something about her, she just gets better," I commented.

"Oh yeah, she's a real keeper," Tig jabbed, agitating Koz.

"Run along, Tiggy. I'd like to talk to my girl, without your input," Herman told him.

Tig got up and started to blurt out a come back, but I took him by surprise when I stood up and hugged him.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

"Run along, Tiggy. I'd like to talk to my girl, without your input," I told Tig, hoping to get rid of him quickly and piss him off at the same time.

Tig stood up. I could see he was about to say something, so I prepared myself for another verbal stab. I was thrown off, however, when Jenna stood up, leaving my lap, and hugged Tig.

He was obviously just as confused, because he was hesitant to hug her back. He looked over to me, and I nodded. Tig and I might not get along, but I wouldn't come between a friendship that Jenna shared with Tig. He was, after all, looking out for her from what I could tell.

Tig hugged her back.

"What's that for, doll," he questioned, when she sat back down on my lap.

"Thank you," she told him, grabbing her beer.

"You don't need to thank me, Jenn. A broad like that is poison. Trust me, she won't be missed around here. Besides, the guys should be thanking you," he told her.

"What? Why," Jenna asked, walking right into what I knew was a set up.

"You gave 'em a show, doll. Even if there was blood, it's always hott to see two chicks go at it," he joked with a wink.

"Oh, shut it," Jenna told him with a laugh, tossing the cap to her beer at him.

"That was hott too," he joked as he disappeared into the clubhouse, probably fearing that she would throw the bottle at him next.

"Jenn, I want you to know something," I told her as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"What's that," she asked curiously.

"First off, in all seriousness, I need you to know that I want nothing to do with her, or any other woman. I made that mistake once, and I might be stupid sometimes, but I'm not that fucking stupid. I only want you, baby," I told her, causing her to smile at my words.

"And," she asked, confusing me momentarily.

"And what," I asked, unsure of what she was referring to.

"You said first off. That usually means that there's something else," she explained.

"Oh, right. Tig was right, chick fights are hott. Seeing you go after her like that…it was pretty hott. You know, once I got over the initial shock of it all," I admitted with a smile.

She playfully hit me on the chest before responding, "take me home, Koz."

"Alright, let's go," I told her as she got up.

I placed my hand on the small of her back as we headed toward her car. Once we made it to her car, she turned to face me.

"You wanna see hott," she asked.

"Always," I told her with a guilty smile.

"Come home with me," she offered.

"I'll follow you," I agreed before leaning down and kissing her once more.


	32. 032 The Push

* * * I know a lot of you are bummed about Jenn and Koz. Just trust me on this, everything in this story happens for a reason. Besides, it wouldn't be any fun if the girl ended up with the guy you wanted her to right off the bat! I only own my own OC's. * * *

Taking a break from the office, I stepped outside and lit a cigarette. I smiled when I saw Koz pull up. He got off of his bike and smiled back at me as he approached.

"Hey, baby," he greeted before kissing me.

Once he pulled away, I questioned him.

"I take it from that smile that you got the papers," I asked.

"I did," he told me, smirking down at me. "But the smile isn't because of the papers."

"Oh yeah, what are you smiling about," I asked with a flirtatious smile.

"You," he admitted honestly.

"Did you miss me," I asked teasingly, using my cigarette free hand to run my fingers down his chest.

"I did," he admitted before taking a turn to question me. "How's your back?"

"I'm fine, Koz," I told him for what felt like the millionth time. "I've endured worse."

"You still haven't had the doc look at it then," he requested in an almost scolding manner.

"Baby, it's just bruising. If it were any worse, I'd go see Tara," I promised. "So vote's today," I asked as he gently placed his arm around me.

I walked with him toward the clubhouse, where I saw SAMCRO gathered outside.

"Yeah," he said, sounding a bit unsure.

"You'll be fine, baby," I told him with a confident smile.

"I dunno. Tig's vote is basically what I need," he reminded me.

Once we made it to the grouping of SAMCRO members, I stood beside Kozik as he handed Clay his paperwork. Everyone started to file in. Koz stayed back to talk to Tig while I moved to catch up with Clay.

"Hey, Clay," I greeted. "How's Gemm?"

"Hey, Jenn," he responded. "She's better. Dealing with the plea bargain shit isn't really helping. But otherwise, she's good. You should stop by and see her today. I think she could use a friendly face that isn't a bearer of bad news," he suggested.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to stop by. But that Stahl bitch up there kind of makes me think I should keep my distance," I explained.

"Understandable," Clay agreed. "Just don't end up in her crosshairs and you'll be fine. Hell, I heard about you and the croweater. Maybe you'll be fine if you do," he joked.

"Hey, is it alright if I stick around? I wanna be here when you boys get out," I asked hopefully.

"Jenna, you never need to ask to come into this clubhouse. You're family, hon. Stick around…your man will want you here when he gets out," he advised with a warm smile.

I thought it was strange that Clay didn't specifically reference Koz. Did he mean both guys? Or did he know that I was still a bit confused about my feelings for Happy and for Kozik?

I took a seat at the bar and watched the guys file in. Herman glanced over at me as he headed inside. I also noticed that Happy looked over at me before he entered the room. I hadn't talked to him in a while. I felt like we weren't even friends anymore.

While I sat there anxiously, I decided that at the very least, I was going to get my friend back today. My mind's wanderings were interrupted when the now Prospects were awarded with their cuts. There was a bit of verbal hazing from the guys before SAMCRO unceremoniously kicked them out.

"Hey, you need anything," the bigger guy asked.

He was already taking his prospect status serious. Good for him. The other two looked to lack the confidence to just take a step into the role.

"Now why would you be grabbing me a beer," I asked, answering him and questioning him at the same time.

"You're Koz's old lady, right," he asked, grabbing me a beer.

Yes, it was early, but fuck it. I had been working my ass off in that office. I deserved a break.

"Why don't you ask him that question," I responded with a wink, curious to see how Herman would respond to that question.

* * * Happy's Point of View * * *

I watched Jenna and Koz approach. He had his arm affectionately draped around her. They seemed…happy together. I was glad that Jenna was in a good place, but seeing her happy with someone else was a bit disconcerting. But at the same time, I couldn't exactly get mad. I had, after all, told Jenna to work things out with Kozik.

While Koz handed Clay his transfer paper work, I couldn't help but notice that Jenna was wearing a dress that fell to her mid thigh. While the dress had long sleeves, it draped off of her shoulders. She had been dressing up more lately, just like when she got out of her messed up state after her time in Tacoma. That was a definite indicator that she was in a better place.

We barely even spoke anymore, and I hated that. I was too worried that I would say something to let her know exactly how much I missed her. Besides, if today went well, which Clay was confident it would, there's a very real possibility that I would be leaving soon to go find Jax's son. What would be the point in leading her on for me to only disappear?

As we headed inside the building, I noticed Koz hanging back to talk with Tig while Jenn moved to catch up to Clay. I was too far back to hear what they were saying. But I got the gist of their conversation when Jenn took a seat at the bar. I glanced over at her as I passed by.

Everyone filed into church, with Koz and I taking seats away from the table behind Piney.

We watched as SAMCRO voted to allow the three hang arounds in the main room with Jenna to prospect. There was momentarily a bit of verbal hazing before they were kicked back out.

Next up was my vote. All around the table were yays and yesses. I was a bit unsure when the vote made it to Jax. He hesitated. And before I knew it, he was throwing out a "hell yeah".

During the next vote for Koz to patch in, I could only imagine what was going on in Jenna's mind. I figured that she was here in support of Koz, but I also kind of hoped that she was here for me. Patching into SAMCRO was a big deal for me. And as glad as I was about being voted in, I only wished I had her to share it with.

Previously, I was pretty set on Jenna and Herman not working out. In fact, I was sure it would end pretty quickly. I was surprised to see that they had become so close lately.

Clay voted yay for Koz.

Tig, however, ended things quickly with a nay. I wasn't completely surprised.

"I don't trust him," I head Tig reason.

Regrettably, Clay slammed down the gavel.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I watched as the Sons flooded out of the clubhouse. It was quickly obvious that Happy had been voted in. He and Tig were goofing around before Bobby presented Happy with his Redwood Originals patches. I watched as Happy now stood next to me at the bar, still joking around with Tig.

Clay, Jax, and Tig were conversing right outside the church doors. I followed his angry gaze and immediately knew what happened. Tig must have voted no.

Kozik suddenly moved across the room, shoving Tig from behind.

"How do you like a cheap shot," Koz challenged.

Tig turned toward Koz and moved to strike back. Then the two men began brawling around the clubhouse.

"Congrats," I told Happy, causing him to turn around.

I continued to watch the fight while he responded, "thanks."

"So, Tiggy said no," I asked, cringing when Tig bit Koz's hand.

"Yeah," Happy admitted.

"So, is this how it's going to be between us now," I asked, remembering once having the same question posed to me.

"What do you mean," he asked.

"What do you mean? That's the most you've said to me in ages, Hap. I feel like we aren't even friends anymore. What happened," I asked, obvious hurt in my eyes.

"Sorry, I know I've been distant lately. I've just been busy," he tried to explain.

"I know you've been busy. I'm pretty sure you've been avoiding me too," I called him out.

"A little," he told me truthfully.

"You don't need to avoid me. I'm…doing what you asked of me. I'm not going to beg you to come back to me. If and when that does happen, it will be the right time. Now obviously isn't that time," I explained.

He smiled over at me, "you know, I sort of wished I had put this separation off a little."

"What do you mean," I asked, confused now.

"Well, you told me once that you would celebrate my patch in with me. Now I think that would be a bit…inappropriate, considering the circumstances," he revealed.

"Oh, Hap. We'll celebrate, just unfortunately it won't be the same kind of celebration," I told him with a wink.

"Oh yeah," he asked, curiously.

"Trust me, you would have liked the other celebration I had in mind better," I teased, watching Koz and Herman finally settle down.

"I can imagine I would," I responded with a smirk.

"I've gotta go check on Koz. But maybe drinks tonight would be good," I suggested, getting up and heading over to Herman, who I saw had blood on his face now.

Both men sat, exhausted because of their clubhouse brawl.

"You alright, Tiggy," I questioned as I examined Herman's face, gently taking his face in my hands.

"I'm fine, honey. Go patch your boy up," he responded, obviously winded.

"Come on, babe. Let's go get you cleaned up," I suggested, grabbing his hand to lead him over to the office where we could speak in private while I used the first aid kit to clean him up.

He released my hand and pulled me against his side, wrapping his arm around me.

"You feel better," I asked, knowing he must feel at least a little better now that they worked out some of their anger.

"Yeah, I do actually. This must be how you felt after hitting the croweater," he teased.

"Only difference is that I was never friends with the slut, and never will be," I responded, hating even thinking about the skank putting her hands on Herman.

Once inside the office, he sat in the desk chair while I fetched the first aid kit from the other side of the room. I set the kit on the desk and sat on the corner of the desk to clean up the blood and the cut beside his eye.

"So, Tig voted no," I began the conversation.

"Yeah," he responded, obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"Hey, maybe tonight we stick around here and have a few beers. No fighting from either of us," I suggested with a teasing smile.

"You talk to Hap," he asked knowingly.

"I did," I answered, before asking him a question in return. "Does that bother you?"

"I guess that depends on what you talked about," he responded truthfully.

"Hey, Happy and I have been friends for a long time. I'm not going to throw away what's left of that friendship. I need you to be understanding about this," I asked him, finishing up with the hydrogen peroxide and gauze.

"I'm gonna be jealous, Jenn. I'm not gonna pretend like I won't be. That would be a lie. But I'm not going to ask you to give up your friendship. Just so long as I know that's all that it is," he reasoned.

"I'm here with you, aren't I? I could just as easily be in that clubhouse with him. But I'm not," I told him, dropping the bloody gauze in the nearby trash can.

He watched me, and I couldn't help but notice the look he gave me. It was filled with adoration and lust. I leaned down and kissed him. He stood up, reaching to close the door without breaking the kiss.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me.

"Why'd you close the door," I asked teasingly as he kissed down my neck.

"I can always open it back up," he responded between kisses. "I just figured you might like a little privacy," he said with a smile.

An hour later, I was fixing my hair to make it look less disheveled. Koz came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You know I love you, right," he told me, causing me to stop fixing my hair.

I turned to face him while still wrapped in his arms. I smiled up at him.

"I love you, too," I told him before kissing him again.

Herman headed back to the clubhouse once I released him, reasoning that he had been gone too long and wanted to make sure the guys didn't need him for anything.

I stepped outside and lit a cigarette, watching him walk back to the clubhouse. I spotted a couple of guys in the garage, noticing that Tig was one of them. I decided to talk to him. Maybe if he knew how I felt about Koz being patched into SAMCRO, he would at least think it over before the next vote.

"Tiggy, can I talk to you for a minute," I asked, catching his attention.

"Yeah," he responded, quickly following up with an, "of course."

"So, I know you and Koz have this history. Is that why you voted no," I asked, hoping to understand his reasoning better.

"Hon, I can't call a man brother who I don't trust. And as of right now, I don't trust Kozik. He needs to earn that trust back, and I'm not really sure he can," Tig confided.

"You know, when he first came down to Charming when you guys needed some backup, I remember telling him the exact same thing," I revealed.

"Seems to be a common theme with him," Tig commented harshly.

"He's had his fuck up moments, that's for sure," I agreed. "But I trust him again," I admitted.

"Yeah, I couldn't tell, not with that midday fuck in Gemma's office," Tig teased.

"Is it that obvious," I asked, cringing at the thought that everyone around here knew.

"Sweetie, you two disappeared for like an hour. The office door was uncharacteristically closed, with you two behind it. And you look like you just got fucked," he observed, laughing when my jaw dropped and my cheeks flushed.

"No one cares, Jenn. Except for maybe Hap. Don't think we won't tease you about it, though. It's always fun to watch you turn all red like you're innocent," he joked.

"Tig," I responded, hitting him in the arm.

"Hey, Tig, we've gotta head out," Jax called from the door of the garage.

"I'll talk to you later, doll. Try to stay out of trouble," he told me, giving me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek before leaving the garage.

As he left, he passed right by Kozik, who was entering the garage.

"I've got to head out for a bit, babe. You'll be here later," he asked, grabbing a TM button up shirt.

"Yeah," I answered as he took off his cut.

"You be careful," I told him while he handed me his cut.

"I'll be fine," he promised, pulling on the TM shirt.

"Come back to me," I told him as he hugged me.

"You know, I missed hearing that, too," he admitted before kissing me good bye.

I carried his cut back toward the office, watching him and Piney leave in the TM tow truck.

A few hours later, I heard the roar of approaching motorcycles. I got up and quickly headed to the door. I saw that everyone had made it back okay, and the worry quickly disappeared. I grabbed Koz's cut and headed over to return it to him.

The guys gathered around in a grouping as I approached.

"Should I give you guys a minute," I asked, hoping I wasn't intruding on their business.

Clay thought it over for a moment, "no, come on. We could use your help, actually."

"What can I do," I asked, handing Koz his cut.

"You were talking about going to see Gemma earlier. Why not go now," Clay asked, confusing me a bit.

"Yeah, I can do that," I responded.

"Look, we have some business to take care of up at St. Thomas. Problem is security. Think you can…create a distraction," Clay asked.

I felt the eyes of everyone on me now. I knew Koz wouldn't like my answer.

"Yeah, I can do that," I agreed.

"What? No," Herman began.

"No way," Happy spoke up.

"Jenn, honey, we can do this another way," Jax suggested.

"No. I'm gonna help. And you three will just have to suck it up," I told them.

"We leaving now," I asked, looking back to Clay.

"The sooner the better," he responded.

Reluctantly, Koz walked with me to Opie's bike. I would be riding to St. Thomas with Opie while Koz, Tig, and Chucky took the van.

"I don't like this," he told me flatly.

"Yeah, well, unless one of you can put on this dress and do what I can, I suggest you get over it," I told him honestly. "I'll be perfectly fine. And if you want this to work, Koz, you can't try to control what I do and don't do. If this club asks me for help, I'm going to do what I can."

Opie climbed on his bike, allowing me to climb on behind him. I felt uncomfortable on the bike in a dress, but knew it would be a short ride. Koz handed me his helmet to borrow, then quickly kissed me goodbye.

"I won't let anything happen to her, Koz. She'll be with me the entire time," Opie promised.

Ten minutes later, we pulled up to St. Thomas. Opie and I stopped by the gift shop, grabbing a bouquet of flowers before heading up to Gemma's floor.

Opie spoke to the guard to the "restricted" door first. The man agreed to let him sit and wait for Gemma, who was currently not in her room. Opie sat down, allowing me to do my small part.

"So, are you a cop," I asked flirtatiously playing dumb.

He started to respond without even glancing up. But his irritated expression soon turned to surprise when he saw me standing there.

This allowed Chucky to get into position.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

I wasn't thrilled about Jenna getting involved in this. I wondered if she would have agreed to it if she knew what Tig and I would be doing. I watched as Opie spoke to the guard momentarily before taking a seat. Then I watched as Jenna spoke to the guard, allowing Chucky to get into position.

Seeing her flirt with the guard bothered me. But I had to control it, or the entire opportunity would be blown.

"Switch me spots, man," I told Tig, requesting that he be the lookout for Opie's signal instead.

"Okay," Tig agreed, wondering why I suddenly needed to trade him spots.

"Ah, you don't like seeing your girl leading on another guy," Tig called out, obviously trying to piss me off.

"Shut up, man," I told him.

Suddenly the alarm went off, causing Tig to put his focus back on Opie. As soon as Opie signaled the all clear, we came around the corner with our ladder.

"Very sexy," Tig commented to Jenna as we passed.

"Dude, seriously, fuck off," I told Tig, following him through the restricted doors.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

Once Chucky pulled the alarm, the guard quickly stood up. I glanced around, as if unsure of what was going on myself.

"Excuse me," he told me, pushing past me to see what was going on.

I moved across the hallway to stand with Opie and ensure I wasn't in the way. He signaled for Koz and Tig to make their move.

"Very sexy," Tig told me with a wink.

"Dude, seriously, fuck off," Koz told Tig.

What the fuck were they arguing about this time.

"Go ahead and head back to the van," Opie instructed, handing me the keys. "Get it started, just in case they have to bail fast."

"Got it," I told him, grabbing the keys and heading to the van that they arrived in.

We were soon back at TM. I felt like the mother of two arguing siblings as I drove back to the clubhouse, listening to Koz and Tig argue. As soon as I put the van in park, I got out, leaving the two of them to argue inside the van.

"You okay," Happy asked as I headed toward the clubhouse, obviously irritated.

"Yeah, just listening to those two argue is giving me a fucking headache," I responded, going inside to grab a beer.

He followed me inside.

"Were you waiting outside for me," I asked as I grabbed a beer.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he admitted, looking up to up to see Clay approach.

I smiled over at Happy now before turning my attention to Clay.

"You okay," Clay asked, eyeing the beer I had grabbed immediately after my return.

"Yeah. As far as I know, it went well," I told him. "You'd have to ask Koz and Tig to be sure," I added in.

"Where are they," he asked, noticing that neither of them were in the clubhouse.

"Outside, arguing…again," I told him.

"The reason for the beer," he put together. "Hap, go grab them, and Ope too."

Happy nodded and headed outside, leaving Clay and I at the bar.

"You know this arguing and fighting between these two isn't going to go away for a while," he told me.

"Yeah, I know. But being cooped up in a van with them, for even the ten minute drive, while they argue…well, it's the making of a headache," I told him with a laugh.

"Why don't you stick around for a bit? We're going into church in a minute, then it'll be beers all around. You should have a few," he suggested invitingly.

"Sure thing," I agreed as the guys all filed inside.

It wasn't long before the guys were finished. They all came out of them room with Koz and Tig still looking pissed. Kozik started to head towards me when the clubhouse door was unceremoniously thrown open. Several officers rushed inside.

"Get down on the ground," the ordered, following up with, "this is a raid."

Being in heels and a dress, I carefully tried to move to the floor as ordered. I guess I wasn't fast enough, because one of the more aggressive officers practically shoved me to the ground.

Koz and Happy must have seen it, because they both started yelling. I could see Koz from where I was, and he looked like he was about to get up.

"I'm fine, calm down and don't start anything," I ordered them both.

"Settle down," Eglee told the man who shoved me to the ground.

"You alright," she asked me discreetly once she was able to make her way over to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told her.

I watched as both men reluctantly stayed on the floor. I had no idea what they were searching for, aside from maybe guns.

The search was short, but thorough. And before I knew it, I was being helped up off of the floor by Herman.

"You okay," he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna head out and have a cigarette. You boys will surely be talking about…whatever this was," I told him, heading outside behind several of the guys.

I sat on the edge of the ring while the guys discussed the raid. They didn't talk for very long. Clay and Jax both got up and headed toward their bikes. I watched Lyla pull up. She went to talk to Opie while her passenger, Ima, strutted toward Jax. While I watched, Herman headed over to me.

"What are you looking at," he questioned, following my gaze.

"Just trying to figure out what Ima's up to," I admitted.

"I don't have to worry about you hitting her because she's trying to fuck Jax, do I," he asked with a smile.

"No, baby. That's Tara's job. Jackson isn't mine to worry about. Unfortunately for you, your little friends will have to step off or end up with a broken nose," I told him in a slightly smart assed tone.

"So I had an interesting conversation with Phil, the new Prospect earlier today," he changed the subject.

"Oh yeah," I asked with a knowing smile.

"Yeah, he said that he asked you if you were my old lady," Herman revealed, watching for my reaction.

"He did," I responded, putting out the butt of my cigarette.

"You told him to ask me," Herman questioned as I stood up.

"I did," I admitted, grabbing his hand.

"I told him you were," Kozik revealed, walking with me towards the clubhouse.

"I am," I questioned with a smirk as we stepped inside.

"You are," he confirmed, smiling back at me.

"Well, then come have a few beers with your old lady," I told him, heading towards one of the empty tables.


	33. 033 Widening Gyre

* * * I only own my own OC's. * * *

For a change, Koz and I had stayed at the clubhouse that night. We were both entirely too intoxicated to go back to my place, and with the was Koz was looking at me, I doubted we would make it that far.

Initially, I wasn't fond of the idea of staying at the clubhouse. For one, Happy was there. I felt like he was watching my every move. We only briefly conversed when I went to grab more beer from behind the bar.

"I haven't seen you with a girl hanging off of you," I commented.

I could see from Chibs' expression that this conversation was going to make him feel uncomfortable. But he decided to stay, probably to ensure Koz wasn't worried about me being alone with Happy. We wouldn't have exactly been alone, since we were in a room filled with people, but we could have gotten away with an intimate conversation.

"Not really interested in a croweater," he responded, looking into my eyes for my true reaction.

I can only imagine he saw relief and concern, an odd combination.

"Look, I'm doing what you asked. And you knew before this that I still had feelings for him," I began.

Happy interrupted, "I know, Jenn. Don't worry about me. Like I said before, I'll be here when it doesn't work out."

I got a little frustrated at his words at this point.

"Go find yourself a girl. Get yourself taken care of. It's getting pretty obvious that you haven't gotten laid in a while," I told him a bit too harshly for my own liking.

And with that, I went back to Kozik and Jax with a new round of beers.

"What was that," Herman questioned, noticing the irritated expression I now wore.

"Nothing," I halfway lied. "It's not important," I assured him, handing him a beer.

I found myself even more annoyed when my favorite person, Ima, sat down at our table. I was pretty open about my dislike for her. And frankly, I didn't give a shit who knew it.

"Why are you here," I asked, looking the whore over.

"I was invited," she spat back.

Jax immediately knew this wasn't going to go well.

"Jenn, chill. It's alright," Jackson tried to assure me. "I invited her."

"What? You're really going to go with a potential infestation over Tara," I asked, suddenly outraged.

"What I do, with or without Tara, is none of your fucking business," Jax responded angrily.

"Fine, Jax. Throw her away, just like you do everyone else who gives a fuck about you," I verbally bashed before grabbing my beer, my pack of cigarettes, and storming out of the building.

It didn't take long for Herman to join me, sitting beside me at one of the tables outside.

"You alright," he asked, unsure of whether I really wanted him there beside me.

"I just don't fucking get men," I ranted.

"What's there to get, Jenn? You get us better than you think, you just don't agree with the stupid things that we do," he told me.

"I just don't understand how a guy can throw away the woman he claims to love," I told him, quieter now.

I refused to look at him. I didn't want him to see the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Jenn, this isn't about Jax," he began. "Is this about you and me?"

"No. And yes. And it is about Jax. It's about Jax, and you, and Happy, and any other guy who's done the exact same thing," I spoke softly again.

"Jenn, I've apologized. I've worked to prove to you how much I really care about you. I don't know what else to do, babe," he admitted.

"It's not that," I assured him. "I'm sorry," I told him, not sure why I didn't just go home and stew alone.

"No, talk to me. I want to understand what's got you so upset," he told me, grabbing my hand.

He gently tugged and motioned for me to come sit on his lap. I obliged, laying my head against his shoulder.

"I just don't understand what I do to make these things happen. I mean, I feel like…I've never been enough for anyone," I admitted. "I guess talking to Hap and seeing Jax with Ima just kind of set it off."

"I know my past actions don't support this, and I'm sorry that I contributed to you feeling this way, but you are enough…for me," he tried to assure me. "What did Happy say to make you feel so shitty?"

"I was kind of being stupid and nosey. I mentioned how I didn't see him with his usual flocking women. He told me he wasn't interested in them. That's when I told him that I was trying with you, just like he wanted. Then he made a comment about how you and I won't work out. That's when I snapped and told him to go find some pussy, because it was pretty obvious that he hasn't been getting laid," I explained.

"Is that why you didn't want to talk about this in the clubhouse," he asked, likely referencing the awkward part mentioning that we wouldn't work out.

"He, um, he told me that he'd still be around when we don't work out," I admitted more accurately. "It hasn't been the first time he's said that."

"I know," Herman surprised me. "He told me the same thing the day I got here. He thinks I'll fuck this up…again. All that means is that I'll have to prove him wrong," Herman told me before kissing me lightly.

When he started to pull away, I slid my hand behind his head, pulling him back towards me. I wanted his lips against mine. I moved my hand down to his chest loving the feel of his muscular chest against my palms. While he had one arm around me, the other had been resting on my knee. Caressing my smooth legs, he felt his way up my outer thigh.

The feel of his rough hands against my skin was always a turn on. I moved to kiss and suck on his neck, looking for that sensitive spot that I knew always gave me the reaction I craved. I smirked when that inadvertent groan escaped.

"Do you want me," I whispered, teasing him even more.

"We either need to go inside, or we'll be on this table in a minute," he admitted, pulling my lips back towards his.

"I…might…like…that," I told him between kisses.

"Don't tempt me unless you mean it," he warned.

"As far as I can remember, I always mean what I say," I told him with a smirk.

"You asked for it," he told me with a devilish grin, effortlessly lifting me onto the table.

Fifteen minutes later, after a little more teasing and tempting, Kozik and I were suddenly interrupted.

"Oh, shit…nice," a familiar voice commented.

I immediately recognized it as Tig's voice.

"Fuck," I commented, not wanting Kozik to stop.

He immediately pulled out and re-zipped his pants. I groaned in frustration, letting my head fall against his chest.

"Sorry, baby, they'll all be piling out soon," he warned.

"Ugh, I know. This was a bad idea," I admitted.

Sure enough, several guys came out to see what was going on.

"Oy, what the fuck is going on out here," Chibs challenged with a smirk, knowing it was time for the teasing to begin.

I didn't think it was possible, but I turned even more red than I already was.

"What the hell, Tig? You had to bring everyone out," I grumbled, moving to sit back on Koz's lap once he was back in his chair.

I grabbed a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

"Sorry, doll. You know I love ya, but I just couldn't pass up this opportunity," he teased.

"So, Gemma's desk this morning and now the table outside," Opie teased. "Damn, bro, you have your hands full."

I know Herman wanted to say something, but he wouldn't. He wouldn't because I was sitting there. When I looked to finally see who all had shown, I was relieved to see that Happy hadn't come outside. I only spotted Opie, Tig, Chibs, Bobby, and I was surprised to see Clay.

"Just make sure you clean off Gemm's desk. If she finds out, she'll flip shit," Clay warned.

"God, this is a bit more mortifying than I thought it would be," I admitted.

"Can you go grab another handful of beers, hon," Tig asked the croweater who he had claimed for the night.

As she disappeared into the clubhouse, the guys sat in the nearest chairs.

"So, did you have any Jameson," Opie teased.

"No, I did not," I responded, putting out my cigarette.

"You know, if you guys were going to torment me, you could have at least let us finish first," I protested, obviously agitated about being brought so close then cut off.

"No one was stopping you, hon," Tig joked.

"And this is what sucks about being a chick. I do something that you would all find hott with your respective choice of woman, and I never hear the end of it. Pure torture," I told them as Tig's croweater returned with two handfuls of beers.

She dutifully passed them out. I was surprised when she handed me one. Croweaters didn't usually take other women into consideration unless it was someone of Gemma or Tara's status.

Koz must have caught my confused expression, because he quickly reminded me in a whisper, "you're my old lady, she needs to show her respect."

"You think we aren't tormenting him," Chibs challenged.

"You have to think, Jenn, he's sitting there with blue balls as we speak," Bobby stated with a laugh.

I wasn't sure why, but I turned red at this statement. I quickly downed the beer, causing Clay to surprisingly speak up.

"Don't worry, Koz. The way she's downing that beer, she'll take care of you," he joked.

I almost choked on the last gulp, setting the glass bottle down as Lyla came out to join Opie. She sat in his lap.

"What's going on," she questioned, oblivious to what had just happened.

"We're tormenting Jenn and Koz," Opie answered, pecking her on the lips.

"What'd she do," Lyla asked with a knowing smile.

"Why did I have to do anything," I asked defensively.

"Hey, sweetie, whether you like to admit it or not, you're kind of a freak," she added in with a teasing laugh.

"Sweetie, can you go grab a bottle," Tig asked his croweater.

"What do you need, baby," she asked obediently.

"Jameson," Tig, Opie, Lyla, and Chibs all declared in unison.

"Fuck you guys," I responded, leaning against Herman more now.

"On the table," Tig challenged with a boldness that caused Koz to pipe up.

"Knock it off," he told Tiggy.

"Woah, you guys, chill out," I told them both. "I'm not leaving your lap, so I suggest you two stop this shit for a night, otherwise I'm caught up in the line of fire," I warned them both.

I had a few shots of Jameson with everyone before I decided that I couldn't handle any more liquor.

"Take me back to your room," I whispered in Herman's ear.

"You sure," he asked.

"We're both too drunk to drive, and I still want you," I teased, a bit louder than I had intended.

"Don't worry, hon, we'll tease you tomorrow," Tig told me with a laugh.

I got up, quickly leaning over to use the nearest person for support.

"A bit too much," Chibs questioned, allowing me to use his shoulder for support.

"A bit," I told him with a laugh as Herman grabbed my arm to help support me.

"Have a good Jameson night," Opie called out as Herman and I entered the clubhouse.

The clubhouse was mostly cleared. I saw that Jax and Ima were no longer at the table we had previously occupied. Since I hadn't seen either of them leave, I knew she must be back in Jax's room with him. I also didn't see Happy, Juice, or Piney. They had all either turned in for the night or left back when Clay had.

I quit using Koz to lean on for support, and instead turned to face him.

"What are you doing," he asked, a bit confused.

I reached up and kissed him, causing him to wrap his arms around me. He soon lifted me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He slowly and carefully headed towards his room.

Once inside, he closed and locked the door, immediately going to the bed, where I began removing my shoes and dress.

"You aren't too drunk for this," he questioned skeptically.

"Shut up and fuck me, Koz," I told him, pulling him toward me again.

The next morning, I woke up laying against Herman. We were both naked and sticky with sweat. I leaned over and kissed him, causing him to wake up.

"You're up already," he asked, surprised.

"Well, I was looking around your room and thinking," I admitted.

"Thinking about what," he asked, still not having opened his eyes just yet.

"I was thinking that maybe you would be interested in moving in…with your old lady," I told him.

His eyes opened now, looking at me as if to see if I was being serious.

"What," he asked, as if he didn't believe he actually heard what I was saying correctly.

"Come stay at my place," I shortened up, propped up on my arms now.

"Are you sure about that, Jenn? I mean, even before everything, we still never made that step," he reminded me.

"Koz, we aren't back in Tacoma. You're here with me, in Charming. And I want to know that at the end of the day, I'll be coming home to you, and vice versa," I admitted.

"I'll bring some stuff by tonight," he told me with a surprised smile.

"How tired are you," I asked, obviously wide awake.

"Well, that depends. What do you have in mind," he asked curiously.

"You…me…shower," I told him with a smirk before heading across the room naked and entering the bathroom.

I could feel him watching my naked form as I cross the room. And right after I entered the bathroom, I heard him get up off of the bed and head across the room himself.

Herman and I stepped out into the main room.

"I'll grab the coffee," I told Herman, prompting him to take a seat at one of the empty tables.

"Thanks," he told me as I walked over to one of the prospects to grab two mugs of coffee.

"Can you get me two cups," I asked.

"Yes, ma'am," he responded nervously.

"You can call me Jenn. I don't care if I'm ninety, don't call me ma'am," I told him, thankfully accepting both mugs and heading back to Herman.

Koz took a sip of his coffee, quickly nudging me to look towards the hallway. I glanced up to see Tara disappearing down the hall.

"It's his own fault," I told Koz. "I'm not helping him. Tara should beat the hell out of both of them as far as I'm concerned," I finished.

"Hey, we're good, right," he asked with a smile, remembering my talk from last night.

"You and I are perfectly fine," I told him with a smile. "More than fine, I'd say," I added with a wink.

Soon Opie comes down the hallway with Lyla in tow.

"You didn't try to stop her," Opie asked, expecting me to do so.

"No. If Jax is going to just throw everyone away at his own convenience, then I hope Tara rips him a new one," I told Opie honestly. "Jax made his skanky little bed, he can lie in it with the crabs."

Second later, Tara storms out of the clubhouse. I didn't hear exactly what was going on, but Lyla and Opie argued momentarily before she slapped the hell out of him. I choked on my coffee as Lyla stormed out behind Tara. Seconds later, Ima left the clubhouse, obviously having been kicked out by Jax.

Herman and I sat in silence for a moment.

"So, about this moving in thing," he started.

I immediately looked over at him, "are you having second thoughts?"

"No, it's not that. But I'm leaving soon to meet Lorca and James. You know, give 'em an extra hand as they head down," he revealed.

"Why are Lorca and James coming down," I asked, confused and excited about the prospect of seeing some of my Tacoma family.

"When I went back to Tacoma to get my transfer papers, I boxed up the stuff in my room. I just couldn't transport it back, being on the bike and all. So they said they'd bring it down for me. I was planning on putting it all in my room here, but now I suppose I'll be bringing them to your place," he asked, almost as if asking permission to bring his stuff over.

"Yeah," I told him with a smile. "Just be careful. And make sure you guys come by the clubhouse. I want to see the guys," I admitted.

An hour later, I had kissed Herman goodbye before he rode off to meet the guys. I turned to see that the Sons were packing up the van to leave. I needed to say goodbye to them too. They would be gone soon, and while they said it would only be a week, I had a feeling that if they didn't find Abel in that week, they could be gone for much longer.

I headed over to the guys. Jax saw me first. He broke away from the group and met me halfway.

"Hey, about last night," he started.

"I'm not worried about last night," I told him. "I just came to tell you guys good bye" I explained. "I don't want to fight with you right now, Jackson."

"Maybe when I get back," he joked.

"Maybe," I told him with a smile.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night. I didn't realize that me having Ima around would bring up old shit," he admitted knowingly.

"It's cool, Jax. I probably shouldn't have said anything anyway. You were right, it's not my business. But just so you know, pushing Tara away…I think it's a mistake, Jax," I told him.

"Yeah, well, I can't take it back now. I'll worry about that when I get back. Right now all I can think about is how close I am to getting Abel back," Jax admitted.

"Go bring him home, hon," I told him before hugging him.

As I pecked him on the cheek, Opie approached.

"You two crazy kids making up," he asked with a smile.

"Come tell me bye," I told him, allowing him to pull me in for a hug.

"So, I kind of overheard your conversation in the clubhouse with Koz. He's moving in," Opie asked, looking down at me as we separated.

"Yeah," I admitted, unsure of how he or Jax would respond to this news.

"No way. The wild child is finally settling down," Jax commented with a smile. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. Can you guys maybe not mention this to anyone else yet," I asked, hoping to keep the news from Happy until after he got back.

"Our lips are sealed," Opie promised. "But you will have to tell him. I think he's going to figure it out, he's a pretty smart guy," he reminded me.

"I'll tell him. I just don't think right now is the right time. Not with you guys leaving and all," I told them.

"You should probably go finish up your goodbyes. We're leaving soon," Jax advised. "Tig and Clay are going with me up to St. Thomas. We won't be back before leaving for Belfast," he advised.

"Okay. You boys be careful…and behave," I told them with a smile and wink before heading over to Clay and Tig, who were chatting by the tow truck.

"Hey, doll, did you have a very Jameson kind of night," Tig asked teasingly.

"I did," I admitted with a laugh.

"You know, it's not fun for me if you don't turn all bright red and get defensive," he admitted.

"I'm not here to play, Tiggy. I'm here to tell you guys bye," I admitted.

I hugged Clay first.

"Thank you for looking after this place for us," he appreciated.

"Anytime, Clay. You guys need anything else, you always let me know," I told him before turning my attention to Tig.

"Oh, come here," he said, quickly pulling me in for a big hug.

"Take care of yourself, Tiggy. Try not to impregnate half of Belfast," I teased.

"I don't think I'll have time for half," he admitted before kissing me on the cheek.

"Try to be good. Or at least as good as you can be," I told him before going over to Bobby and Chibs, who were packing up the van.

"You guys need any help," I asked, catching their attention.

"No, honey, we've got this," Bobby responded.

"You know, I figured you'd still be passed out. You took quite a few shots," Bobby commented.

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," I cringed, remembering the previous evening.

"I'll bring you back a souvenir," Chibs began. "A good bottle of Irish whiskey," he added in.

"I'll hold you to it," I told him.

I hugged both men goodbye, pecking them each on the cheek.

"Where are Juice and Hap," I asked, noticing that they weren't outside.

"Juice is packing up his computer shit, and Hap is packing up a bag in his room," Bobby advised.

"I better go catch them," I decided, turning to head inside.

I saw Juice first, standing in one of the corners packing away his laptop and a few laptop accessories.

"Hey, Juicy," I greeted, causing him to look up.

"Oh, hey," he greeted with a smile.

"You better come give me a hug before you leave," I told him, pulling him away from his bag.

He smiled that typical goofy smile that always put a smile on my face.

"You be careful," I told him, pulling him in for a hug.

"You too," he responded, "I don't want to hear about any bodies or beat up porn stars when I get back," he added in jokingly.

"I'll do my best," I responded before kissing him on the cheek. "Go find that baby and bring him back," I told him with a smile, knowing that his tech skills have been and will be very useful in the search for Abel.

"We will," he promised before letting me go.

I anxiously headed down the hallway. I had to say bye to Hap. For some reason, I was very nervous about this goodbye. Part of it could be because it would be more private than I would have liked for it to be. Why couldn't he be outside with the guys?

I quietly knocked on his door.

"It's open," he answered, probably expecting one of the guys.

I took a deep breath before opening the door and entering.

"Hey," I greeted, surprising him.

He turned around to see me standing in the doorway.

"Koz okay with you being in here," he asked, wondering if Koz even knew where I was.

"He isn't here," I admitted. "And I came to tell you bye before you left for Belfast," I added in.

He ceased his packing. I smiled when I saw how neatly his bag was organized.

"Be careful," I began, almost seeming as if I was asking him if he would be.

"I always am," he told me, watching me fidget with interest.

I slowly approached and hugged him, obviously worried about this trip.

"Hey, I'm coming back, Jenn. We all are. And we're bringing Abel back," he tried to assure me, hugging me back.

"I know. I'm still going to worry. You know that," I reminded him.

He reluctantly pulled away, ending the hug. I was surprised, however, when he leaned down and kissed me. I couldn't help myself. I kissed him back. Before either of us could get too caught up in it, he pulled back.

"Stay out of trouble, and take care of yourself," he told me, surprising me.

"Shouldn't I be telling you that," I asked, watching him return to his packing.

"You know we're going out there for trouble. And I always take care of myself," he reminded me, zipping up his bag now.

"Right," I responded, unsure of what else I could say at this point.

"I'll see you when I get back, Jenn," he told me, leaving me alone in the room.

By the time I left the room, the guys had left, leaving me alone in the clubhouse with one of the prospects. I went over to the office to get some paperwork done.

"Hey, Jenna," the prospect called from the office doorway an hour later.

"Yeah," I responded, looking up to see him standing in the doorway.

"Koz asked me to come get you. He said to tell you that he, Lorca, and James are waiting for you in the clubhouse," he explained dutifully.

"Alright, thanks. Let's head back over," I said, getting to my feet and following him back to the clubhouse.

When I entered, I immediately spotted Lorca. Smiling, I jumped into a hug, quickly kissing him on the cheek.

"You're really here," I exclaimed, excited to see my old friend.

He soon released me, allowing me to walk over to James.

"Look at you, all patched in," I commented, pulling him in for a hug.

"Look at you, all brunette," he commented in return.

"Do you hate it," I asked, remembering that he had only ever seen me as a blonde.

"No, I think I actually like it better than the blonde," he decided.

The three of us went over to the table that Koz was waiting at. I surprised him by immediately going to sit on his lap. I even noticed the surprised expressions on the faces of James and Lorca.

"Did you tell them," I asked Herman, looking down at him now.

"I did," he answered. "I don't think they believed me until just now though," he added in with a laugh.

"So you guys are doing good," James asked, likely not expecting me to have forgiven Herman.

"I would say so," I told them. "Wouldn't you," I asked Herman, wondering what his perspective on the entire relationship was.

"Definitely," he answered. "You know, when I first came down here, I told Lorca that I half-expected you to at the very least hit me."

"Me, a violent person," I asked with a laugh as the prospect brought us all a few beers.

"Yeah, I hear there's a croweater who would say differently," Lorca responded, having heard about the redheaded croweater I hit.

"She needed to be taught that she can't touch what's mine," I told him matter-of-factly.

"So, I'm yours now," Herman questioned with an approving smile.

"You better be, if you're moving into my house," I told him sternly.

"I'm all yours," he promised, kissing me.

I began to worry about my earlier kiss with Happy. Was this something I should share with Herman? Or was this better left ignored? I would think on it some more and decide when the guys weren't around. Me telling him could very well lead to a fight. And I wasn't about to start fighting with Koz in front of Lorca and James.


	34. 034 Lochen Mor

* * * I know a lot of you aren't thrilled about Jenna and Koz being together. Just keep in mind, it's the experiences you have and the ones you have them with that make you who you are. There is a reason Jenna has to go down this path. I only own my own OC's. * * *

That night Herman and I carried in his boxes from the trunk and backseat of my car.

"Want me to help you unpack this stuff," I asked, setting one of the last boxes down beside the reclining chair.

"Can you just take the ones marked clothes into the room," he asked. "I'll have to sort through some of these," he told me.

"Yeah," I agreed with a smile.

I kissed him momentarily before moving to grab one of the boxes labeled 'clothes' and carrying it back to the large, walk-in closet. When I came back into the living room, he was sorting through the first box. I grabbed another box labeled 'clothes' and returned back to the closet.

When I returned to the living room, I saw Koz sitting beside the box he was sorting through. I stopped when I noticed what he was holding in his hand. He must not have heard me come in, because he didn't say anything or move.

"What's that," I asked, anxiously moving to sit on the couch.

"Huh, what," he asked, putting things back into the box.

"That ring," I questioned, wondering if I should have just gone back into the room.

He didn't seem to want to talk about it. Maybe I should have just left it alone. I was surprised when he got up and moved to sit beside me on the couch.

"I'll tell you about that ring, if you tell me what's been bothering you since Lorca and James left," he bargained.

"I am like a fucking book," I commented with a sigh.

"Only when you're guilty of something and trying to hide it from me," he agreed with a kind smile. "Come on, babe. What did you do?"

"Promise you won't get mad," I asked hopefully.

"You know I can't promise that. I'll try, but I can't make a promise that I might break without fault," he compromised.

"After you left to meet Lorc and James, I said bye to the guys," I began. "Happy kissed me. And I kissed him back," I admitted, watching his eyes to see if the anger would appear.

I saw a flash of anger, but he seemed to control it. He rubbed his eyes before looking over to address my confession.

"You only kissed him, right," he questioned.

"Yeah. I mean, I hugged him, but I didn't fuck him or anything," I assured him.

"Okay, look, you get a pass on this," he surprised me.

"What," I asked, confused.

"Hey, I fucked up huge. I fucked some croweater while we were together. Now, I'm not gonna say you get a pass to fuck Happy, but you have a pass on this kiss," he decided.

"I feel like you should be yelling at me or something," I admitted.

"I'm not gonna say that it doesn't bother me. It pisses me off. But like I said, I fucked up once. And you seem to have forgiven me, so it wouldn't exactly be fair of me to go off on you for kissing another guy. I'm gonna be honest with you though, Jenn. You're my old lady now. Hell, we're fucking moving in together, babe. This kind of shit with Hap, it can't happen anymore," he reasoned.

"So, you're serious about this old lady thing," I asked, looking at him again.

He got up and went back to the box, pulling out the small black box which contained the ring I saw him with only minutes ago. He returned to his seat beside me, eyeing the box momentarily. Almost reluctantly, he handed me the box. I simply sat there, not sure if I should be opening the box or not.

"Go ahead, open it," he told me, watching me again.

I looked back down at the box, slowly opening it. I was immediately amazed by how gorgeous the ring was. There was one large diamond, with several smaller ones beautifully arranged around the large one and trailing down the side of the gold band.

"I bought this the day before the Mayans nabbed you," he admitted.

"This was for me," I asked, still unable to believe that this ring was intended for my finger.

"I, uh, I'd never bought one before," he admitted. "So I asked your dad for a little help. Do you like it," he asked, still unsure of how to interpret my silence.

"It's…gorgeous," I admitted. "Is this why my dad brought up the marriage and kids thing," I asked, the strange smiles between the two now clicking as something that had actually made sense.

"Yeah," Koz told me. "I was never very good at finding some corny, romantic way to ask you to marry me. So, I kept putting it off. I thought that when things settled down, the right time would just show itself.

"You know, I never needed any of that. You could have done it in my living room, at a stupid party, at the fucking grocery store," I commented. "I don't have to have candlelight, rose petals, and ice sculptures," reminded him.

"I know that now," he responded. "I just…didn't know it then," he admitted, still staring at me.

I moved to hand him the small box. I was thrown off when he pulled the ring out of the box rather than closing it.

"If you want it, I want you to keep it," he told me, offering the ring.

"You sure about this? You don't think that maybe this is going really fast," I asked, obviously freaking out myself.

He smiled at my nervous expression.

"I want to marry you, Jenn. I've never been with anyone that I could imagine spending the rest of my life with…not until you. I know this is probably freaking you out, but after everything that we've been through, I want you to know how I feel," Herman told me.

A tear slid down my cheek.

"I thought you said you didn't know anything about romantic proposals," I challenged with a smile, offering him my hand to place the ring on.

"Wow, that was romantic," he asked in a joking nature. "We obviously have to work on your standards," he told me with a laugh.

"Shut up before you ruin it," I told him with a laugh, allowing him to pull me in for a kiss.

The next morning, Koz and I went up to TM, where I started working in the office while he went to find Piney. Piney, however, found me first.

"Hey, Koz is looking for you," I told him.

"Good, I'll wait here for him," Piney decided, sitting on the sofa across the small room.

"Sounds like he's in trouble. What'd he do," I asked with curiosity.

"Not him. Tig," Piney assured me.

"I thought Tiggy went to Belfast," I asked, remembering saying goodbye to him just before he left with Jax and Clay.

"He traded places with Gemma. He was in lock up down at Charming PD. The Doc bailed him out this morning. He needs someone to meet him up at impound to get the tow truck out," Piney explained.

"I have a bit of cash, I can go," I offered.

"Thanks, Jenn, but it's not the cash he needs. They suspended his license. He'll need someone to drive him and the tow truck back," Piney advised.

"And you want to send Koz," I asked skeptically. "You know they might kill each other, right?"

"I just figured maybe they could use the ride to…bond, make up, whatever," Piney reasoned.

"Hey, there you are. I've been looking all over the place for you," Koz greeted as he stood in the doorway to the office.

"Jenn, can you take Koz up to impound so he can pick up Tig and the tow truck," Piney requested.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Impound," Koz questioned.

"I'll explain on the way," I told him, grabbing my purse and keys.

By the time the guys made it back to TM, I was already entering the office. I could hear them arguing from across the lot. I set down my purse and closed the door, hoping to block them out for a bit.

I re-emerged to have a cigarette when Tara showed up.

"Hey, Doc," I greeted, meeting her out by her car. "Thanks for taking care of Tiggy," I appreciated.

"It's no problem. I just came by to see if you needed any help in the office," she asked.

"That'd be great. I've been slacking over the last week," I admitted.

Once inside the office, Tara began working with Chucky on a stack of paperwork while I started inputting everything into Gemm's computer. I knew Koz and Tig were both outside working. And I sighed when I heard them start to argue…again.

Tara and Chucky wandered to the doorway, watching them both argue with curious expressions.

"Now what's the deal with those two," Tara thought out loud.

"I don't know, but based on the level of malevolence between those two, I'd say at least one vagina is involved," Chucky commented.

This caused them both to turn and look at me.

"Hey, you're looking at the wrong girl," I advised them both. "I'm not the cause of…that," I told them both, gesturing toward the two arguing men.

"You must know something," Tara asked, looking back out the door.

"You'll need to ask Tig or Koz. It's not my story to tell," I responded, returning to my work.

Tara soon left the building when she noticed Lyla pulling up in the parking lot.

I took the opportunity to talk to Tig in private. While Chucky continued to take care of paper work, I went into the garage, finding Tig working on one of the customer's cars.

"Can I talk to you," I asked expectantly.

"Yeah, what's up," he asked, looking to see that Koz was still tuning up his bike.

"If I tell you something, can you keep it between you and me," I requested.

"Of course, doll. Unless it's hilarious, then I'll tell everyone," he teased.

"Very funny. I'll remember that," I told him with a smile.

"What's going on," he asked, making sure we were currently alone.

Rather than saying anything, I simply showed him the ring. His immediate reaction was one of shock.

"No way. This is from Kozik," he asked, looking back to make sure Koz was still at his bike.

"Yes," I responded sternly. "Who else would it be from?"

"I don't know. I just thought maybe Happy did something drastic before leaving for Belfast," he reasoned.

"No. Herman…he asked me to marry him last night," I explained.

"Oh, wow. Congratulations, honey. I'm happy for you," he admitted, hugging me now.

"Thanks, Tiggy," I told him, hugging him in return.

"That idiot doesn't deserve you, you know that," Tig commented, pulling away.

"Tig, I didn't just want to tell you about the ring," I admitted. "I had something I wanted to run by you," I revealed.

"What's that, hon," he questioned.

"Look, would it be…completely fucked up…if Koz and I got married while everyone was in Belfast," I asked slowly.

"Well, Gemm might kill you, unless you're pregnant. You aren't pregnant, are you," he asked in an almost fatherly way.

"What? No. Why do people always assume that? Do I look bloated or something, shit," I asked, looking down critically at my midsection.

"No, you don't look fat; you're hott. It's just, when people kind of rush into this kind of commitment, they're either on drugs or the girl's pregnant," he explained.

"Well, neither," I assured him. "I'm just…concerned about how to do this when Happy's here," I admitted, showing obvious concern.

"Yeah, I get it. Look, I don't agree with it, but I get it. If you two really want that, then that's what you do," Tig advised. "But if you tell Gemma I said that, I will deny it and tell her the drug thing."

"I won't tell Gemm if I decide to go that way," I promised. "Thank you, Tiggy," I told him with one more hug.

"Hey, Tig! Lumpy's on the phone for you," Chucky called out.

"Alright," he called back.

"I've got to go take this," he told me, heading towards the office.

I looked over to see that Herman had spotted Tig and I having a private conversation. I sighed lightly before walking over to talk to him.

"What was that," Koz asked, wondering what Tig and I were talking about.

"Nothing, I'll talk to you about it later," I told him, suspecting that the guys would be leaving soon if Lumpy was calling.

Sure enough, Tig was soon approaching.

"Sorry, doll, we've got to head over to Lumpy's," Tig told me before addressing Herman, "come on, idiot."

"I'll see you later. Be good," I told him before kissing him good bye.

A couple of hours later, Herman, Trager, and one of the prospects returned. I decided to call it quits for the night when I heard them pull up. Almost immediately, I noticed both Koz and Tig had been injured.

"What the fuck happened," I demanded, looking both of their faces over.

"We bonded," Tig answered sarcastically.

"You know, if you two keep this up, I'm gonna end up being the reason you two look like this," I threatened. "Come on, I'll clean you up," I told them both before turning to the prospect.

"Go grab the first aid kit and meet me in the clubhouse," I told him, leading Koz and Tig inside like they had just been children scolded by their mother.

They each sat at a chair while I grabbed a few beers. I set one down in front of each of them, then kept the third for myself. When the prospect came back in with the kit, I immediately started doctoring up Koz, who looked to have a small cut that just was too stubborn to stop bleeding.

"I've been waiting for you," I told Herman, who let me clean his wounds.

"You didn't kiss the prospect while I was gone," he teased, causing a look of confusion to flash across Tig's face.

"Oh, shut up," I told him with a laugh. "You wanted to know what I was talking to Tig about, didn't you?"

"Should I still be sitting here," Tig asked skeptically.

"Like it or not, Tiggy, you're a part of this now, too," I told him. "Sit back down."

"Oh, fuck. What did you two do," Herman asked, obviously thinking we had teamed up to do something wrong.

"What? Nothing. I, um, I told Tig about last night," I admitted.

"I hope you left out some details," Koz questioned with a laugh.

"Hey, knock it off," I told him. "I'm trying to talk to you about something important," I told him sternly, taking him by surprise.

"Is everything alright," he asked, now sounding concerned.

"I was thinking…I mean, if you really want to marry me, that maybe we could do something small," I started.

"Small? What do you mean," he asked curiously.

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe you, me, a couple of witnesses," I admitted.

"Jenn, you told me once that you wanted a big wedding. You wanted the people, the dress, the cake, all that," Kozik rebuffed.

"You know that I've changed since then. All of that stuff…that's what I wanted for Billy. That's not what I want or need now that he isn't here," I told Herman, finishing up cleaning him up.

I moved over to Tig, "I'm not saying this to help you out, blondie. This advice is because I care about Jenn. But I think that if you two really want this, you should do it soon. And by soon, I mean while everyone's in Belfast."

Koz downed about half of his beer before speaking.

"Is this because you don't want to get married in front of Happy," Koz questioned, looking a bit angry now.

"Part of it is, yes. But most of it is because I want this to happen. I'm kind of worried that if Happy is here for a wedding, that he would…consider…stopping it," I told him.

"So, this isn't something to do with Happy convincing you not to marry me," Herman questioned. "This is more about avoiding a disruption?"

"Yeah. Look, I told you I wanted to marry you, Koz. I wasn't lying. If I didn't want you, I never would have tried to make this work," I admitted.

"You tried because Happy told you to," Herman reminded me.

"Are you seriously going to fuck up your chance with her because of some small circumstance of your relationship? I saw her, man, after she left here the morning you had the croweater in your bed. She was fucking devastated. I saw her off when she left to go back to Tacoma. Did you know she went back there to see if there was anything left for her," Tig angrily ranted.

"Tig, it's alright," I tried to subdue the situation.

"No, he needs to fucking hear this shit," Tig continued.

"When she came back, I barely recognized her. She looked fucking shell-shocked, Koz. I don't know what you did to her out there, but whatever you did, you're fucking lucky that you have her back. You know, I thought her being with Happy was good for her. Then you came back. I expected you to try getting her back, but I never expected Hap to step away. And you know why he did, you stupid fucking idiot? He stepped away because he saw what the rest of us saw when she spotted you. He saw that she, for some reason, was still in love with you. How? I don't know," Tig finished before going to the bar and grabbing a bottle of Jack.

He quickly disappeared down the hallway, leaving Herman and myself alone.

"I'm sorry," Herman apologized, looking over at me again.

"Hey, you don't really think I would marry you if I didn't love you, do you," I asked, the hurt obvious on my face.

"No, I just…I needed to know that you aren't just pushing for this to avoid Happy trying to convince you otherwise," Herman admitted.

"Look, I'm going to be honest with you," I began, sitting beside him now. "In a way, I am avoiding Happy. I just don't want something that should be special for us to be ruined by arguing or fighting. And, I'm kind of worried that if we have a wedding with all of SAMCRO here, that it could just cause problems in the club, or even prevent you from being voted in during a future vote. If you don't want to do it this way, then we won't."

He sat there in silence for a moment.

"I said all I wanted was you, and I meant it. Let's do this," he agreed with a smile.

I moved to take my place on his lap, leaning in to kiss him. I was surprised when he put a finger to my lips to pause me.

"On one condition," he bargained.

"What condition," I asked, taking his hand away from my lips and placing it on my leg.

"You have to buy a dress," he told me.

"A dress? Why does the dress matter," I asked, arching my eyebrows.

"You can say that you don't want all of that stuff, but every chick wants a wedding dress. I want you to at least have something that makes it seem like a wedding," he requested.

"I'll get a dress," I promised with a smile. 


	35. 035 Turas

* * * I only own my own OC's. * * *

"Where the hell have you two been," Tig questioned as Koz and I approached the clubhouse.

"At the house," I answered, wondering why Tig was being so hostile already.

"I've been trying to call you all morning," he complained.

"I left my phone in the office," I told him. "What's wrong?"

"Come on, Koz, we need to head up to St. Thomas. Lumpy was attacked last night," Tig explained.

"I'm going with," I told them.

"No," they both said in unison.

"You can both fuck off on this. I'm tired of sitting in that office all fucking day. I'm going with," I told them, following Herman to his bike. "I need to talk to Tara anyway."

"Fine," Herman gave in.

"You are so pussy whipped," Tig scolded.

"Hey," I shouted, getting both of their attention. "I'm standing right here. You can argue about this shit later."

Miles took the van with Tig and Piney, while I rode with Herman. Once inside, they took care of business with Lumpy, working to find out who attacked their loyal supporter. I waited out in the hallway, hoping to spot Tara.

My luck must have been good that day, because I spotted her within minutes. She was right down the hall at one of the nurses stations. I headed down the hall to catch her.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute," I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sure. Everything alright," she asked, worried something had happened.

"Yeah, everyone's fine. I, um, I haven't seen Ly around. I mean, she stopped by yesterday, but she left in a pretty big hurry. And, well, I needed a female to talk to," I admitted.

"Glad I was your first choice," Tara commented.

"No, that sounded bad. I didn't mean it like that, Tara. I've just gotten close to Lyla lately, so I figured she would want to hear my news. Besides, I had to tell Tig first," I admitted.

"It's fine, Jenn. I was just giving you a hard time. What's going on," she asked with a smile.

I held my hand up, showing her the ring. She gasped and immediately grabbed my hand, pulling me off to the side.

"Is this what I think it is," she asked in awe.

"Yeah. We're actually getting married later today. You know, club business permitting," I revealed.

"What," Tara asked in an almost appalled confusion. "Jenn, isn't that really fast? I mean, Koz seems like a nice guy and all, but it wasn't all that long ago that you were practically shacked up with Happy," Tara questioned.

"I know it seems really fast. And it is. But, this is what I want, Tara. And I don't want anything to ruin what should be a happy day for me. Unfortunately, that could include Happy speaking up," I told her.

She simply stared at me in an indifferent silence.

"I was hoping that you could come. Maybe help me find a dress before," I admitted.

Her expression suddenly changed to one of regret.

"I'd love to. But, I can't," she told me. "I, um, I have surgeries booked all day, and pretty late into the evening," she explained. "I'm sorry, Jenn."

"No, it's cool. I understand," I responded, obviously disappointed.

I saw the guys coming down the hallway. They had pretty good timing, because right now I desperately wanted out of this conversation as quickly as possible.

"Hey, Doc," Koz greeted. "We heard from the guys. They made it to Belfast safe," he informed her.

"You want to say it louder, idiot. I don't think the people down the hallway heard you," Tig told him.

I took the opportunity to walk away and head off down the hallway while they continued to argue. I waited around the corner, hoping to avoid Tara and their argument.

In minutes, they caught up to me. Koz put his arm around me, sensing something was wrong with me. We all headed down the hallway, leaving for their next destination. I didn't pay attention to their conversation, zoning out into my own world.

Now part of me had wished that Gemma was here. I didn't have many female friends. But I always knew I was able to count on Gemma. Tara wouldn't be able to make it. She said she was working, but the way she said it made me suspicious. And Lyla wouldn't answer my calls. Who knew what was going on with her.

That was when the guys spotted Darby. They pulled him into the chapel.

"Hey, you and I are going to talk here in a minute," Herman told me before disappearing into the chapel.

I decided to step outside and go wait by his bike. He'd probably be pissed, but I wasn't awfully concerned about that at the moment. I wanted a cigarette, and I wanted to think. I stood beside his bike, lighting a cigarette.

Was I really making a mistake with this quick wedding? It wasn't marrying Herman that I was worried about. I knew that I wanted that tie to him. It just really hit me that I had no one there for me on this. My mom hadn't been around since high school. Gemma was in Belfast. Luann was dead. Tara was busy doing…whatever. And for some reason, Lyla was avoiding me.

"What the fuck," Herman exclaimed, stopping his running pace when he spotted me.

"I needed a cigarette," I told him, as Tig stopped running as well.

"You and I need to talk," he told me sternly.

"Yeah, I know," I responded, obviously not looking forward to this conversation.

"We'll catch you at Charming PD. We're leaving to fill Unser in. When you get there, try getting a hold of Alvarez," Tig advised.

Piney, Miles, and Tig piled into the van, leaving Herman and I to talk alone.

I lit another cigarette, showing signs of stress.

"What's the deal with you today," he asked, slightly frustrated.

"How do you know something's wrong," I challenged, forcing him to call me out.

"You snapped with Tig earlier. I've never heard you get mouthy with him like that. I mean, you two joke, but that wasn't joking. Then you snapped at both of us. After you talked to Tara, you looked off again. Then you disappear on me. You knew Lumpy was attacked. What if something had happened to you," he called me out pretty accurately.

I was starting to hate that he was actually being observant. I couldn't get away with shit.

"I'm just…upset," I admitted, feeling my cheeks redden and my eyes tease the prospect of tears.

"What's wrong," he asked, watching me.

"I dunno. It just kind of hit me, today. I have no one here to share this with. You know how difficult it is for me to make chick friends, and while that's my fault, I kind of thought of Ly and Tara as friends," I began.

"Did the Doc say something to get you all upset," he asked, suddenly getting defensive.

"No, not like that. Ly's been avoiding me. I can tell, because she won't answer my calls. Tara said she couldn't make it because of work. Though, she seemed a bit off, so I don't exactly believe her. Gemm's in Belfast. Any other friends or family I have are in Tacoma, Belfast, or a grave," I told him.

"Baby, we can wait. You don't need to do this like this if it doesn't make you happy. We can do the big wedding, wait for SAMCRO to get back, invite Tacoma," he tried to comfort.

"I don't want all of that, Koz. I just want one person there, who's not just there because he's your brother," I tried to get him to understand.

"Hey, we have to head out pretty quick. When we get back to TM, how about you take a break from that office and go buy yourself a dress. We can make Chucky wear a dress and be your chick friend," he teased, making me laugh.

That was something he was always good at, making me laugh.

"There's that smile that I love to see," he admired, kissing me momentarily.

Ten minutes later, Koz was trying to get the local Mayan President, Alvarez on the phone. I lit up another cigarette while Miles stood there unsure of what to do. Meanwhile, Piney and Tig were inside with Unser.

As he talked to Alvarez on the phone, I saw Koz look up at me and smile several times. He was still worried about me. I had to find a way to ensure he knew that I was okay with this the way things were. I wasn't sure how, but I'd find a way to communicate it to him. And I wasn't going anywhere with Chucky if he was wearing a dress.

He hung up the phone and walked over to me, likely checking on me again.

"What did Alvarez say," I asked, hoping to deter him from his potential task.

"Wasn't Mayans," he admitted.

"Makes sense," I told him conversationally, earning a curious glance.

"What do you know about the local Mayans," he questioned.

"Nothing really. They're probably assholes here too. But going against the Sons when you guys just set up a truce, it just doesn't sound like a good business plan," I observed.

"Maybe I tell you too much," he commented, sitting beside me.

"I'm observant and realistic. You don't tell me enough," I told him.

"Yeah, okay," he answered with a smile. "You feeling better?"

"I'm fine, baby," I told him with a smile. "Here come Tig and Piney," I told him, hoping to get his attention away from me.

I continued to lean against the van while the guys conversed, all agreeing that Lumpy's attack had absolutely had nothing to do with the Mayans. I then became curious when Koz uncharacteristically pulled Tig aside. They weren't fighting either. What the hell was going on?

Piney headed over to the van, likely to be my distraction.

"So, I hear you're getting hitched," he commented with a friendly smile. "I'm still waiting for my invitation."

I smiled up at him, allowing Herman's distraction to work.

"You know you're always invited to any party I'm at, Piney," I told him with a smile. "So, you aren't going to give me a speech about how I might be making a mistake," I asked, remembering Tara's opinion.

"Jenna, what you do with your life, that's your business. But I've known you since the day you were born. As long as I'm there to see you marry the man you love, that's all that matters," he told me sweetly.

His words almost made me want to cry. But I couldn't do that. Herman might think Piney had upset me. I glanced over to see him still talking to Tig. They were being uncharacteristically civil, and Tig was listening intently.

"What are those two up to," I questioned, gesturing for Piney to look at Koz and Tig.

"Club business," he told me in a matter-of-fact tone.

I looked back up at him accusatorily, causing him to get into the van. He called for the prospect to get in too. And before I knew it, Tig was getting in the passenger seat of the van, while Koz was calling me over to his bike.

"What are you two up to," I questioned suspiciously.

"Deciding where to go now that we all know the Mayans aren't responsible," he told me before starting up his bike, drowning out any further questioning I may have planned.

Ten minutes later, we all pulled into TM. Chucky poked his head out of the office to ensure it was us that had rolled in.

Herman shut off the engine. I handed him the helmet he let me borrow before getting off of the bike. I refused to move to allow him to get off.

"You know that I love you, right," I asked him, watching him for a reaction.

"I do," he told me with a smile.

Before he could say anything else, I added in, "I'm going to make sure Chucky's okay handling paper work today. I'll tell him we're closed for the day, but to use today to catch up on paper work. Then I'll go buy a dress. I'm sure you boys are about to head out to handle whoever attacked Lumpy. You just better make sure that you make it to that courthouse on time," I told him with a smile.

"I'll be there," he told me with a smile.

I leaned down a bit to kiss him. He deepened the kiss until Tig interrupted.

"Oh, go get a room. Or a table," he joked, causing me to smirk and laugh a bit.

"He will never forget that," I commented, my forehead pressed to Herman's.

"Nope. But at least we'll be tormented together," he said with a laugh.

I left Herman to chat with the guys about how best to proceed with their current task at hand as I headed towards the office.

"Hey, Jenn," Chucky greeted.

"Hey, Chucky. How's it going in here," I asked, sitting on the sofa.

"I haven't opened up yet, so it's been a good time to catch up on some paperwork," he told me.

"Yeah, about that. The guys have some club shit to take care of today. No customers for the day since the only mechanics we have will be out," I advised.

"Alright, well, I'll use today to catch up," he decided.

"Hey, Chuck," I began. "Did the guys tell you about Koz and I getting married," I asked.

"What? No. Congratulations," he told me in his usual quick manner.

"Yeah, it was pretty sudden, but we decided to do a simple courthouse thing. It's tonight actually. I was wondering if you'd like to be there," I asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah, definitely. What time," he asked, always up for anything.

The guys went in search of the guy who attacked Lumpy while I went in search of a dress. I wasn't confident that I would find a dress I liked enough to get married in while looking in Charming. But I knew Koz would flip if I left town.

I did, however, find myself pleasantly surprised when I finally found a dress that I loved. It was simple, but strangely amazing and suitable. It was strapless and a dark blue color. Across the mid-thigh high blue material was a black lace. The lace only extended an inch above the blue and an inch below the blue material. I loved it.

Once I had tried it on and realized how perfectly the dress fit, I decided that it was meant to be. Finally a good sign that I was going in the right direction.

I didn't return to the clubhouse. Instead, I went home. I only had about two hours before I had to get to the courthouse. I showered and dried my hair quickly. When I started my make up, I heard a knock at the door. Herman and I hadn't gotten around to making a second key, but surely he knew now would not be a good time to come back to the house.

I went to open the door, surprised to see Tig waiting on the other side of it. As soon as he saw me in my dress, he appeared speechless.

"Tig, what are you doing here," I asked, confused about why he would be here right now.

"It alright if I come in, doll," he asked, glancing around momentarily.

"Yeah," I told him, moving to allow him to enter.

I grabbed a cigarette and sat on the couch. He sat beside me.

"You look gorgeous, sweetie," he complimented.

"Thank you," I responded, still wondering what had made him stop by.

"So, I came by for a reason," he told me, obviously distracted by my choice in a wedding dress.

"Yeah, what is that exactly," I asked with curiosity.

"So, I know Billy can't be here for this. And I can only imagine how that's hitting you right now, doll. I was kind of hoping that maybe I could, I dunno, give you away. Like in Billy's place," he asked me.

"Did Koz ask you to do this," I questioned, wondering if this had anything to do with their earlier conversation. "I saw you two talking earlier outside Charming PD."

"No," he told me. "I would have told him to fuck off anyway," Tig tried to cover.

"What did you talk about then," I questioned skeptically.

"We talked about you. I won't deny that. But he never asked me to do this. He asked me to help make this more…personal for you, I guess. But he doesn't know I came here. And he doesn't know what I'm asking you now," Tig admitted.

"Tiggy, you don't have to do this because Koz made you feel obligated," I told him, heading back towards the bathroom to finish my make up and hair.

"Jenn, I'm not doing this because he asked me to. When he talked to me earlier, my best thought was to stand beside you in support. But I got to thinking, this has to be difficult for you with Billy and Gemma not here. Then, literally like fifteen minutes ago, it hit me. Someone needs to give the bride away," he explained.

"You really want to do this," I asked.

"It would be an honor," he told me with a smile.

"No Jameson or table jokes," I asked, hoping he could keep himself contained for a night. "And no fighting with Koz."

"Oh, geez, you're asking a lot. But I think I can manage," he decided with a smile.

"Well, then I would love to have you give me away," I responded with a pleased smile.

"Hey, who brought you here," I asked, remembering his suspended driver's license.

"I had Phil drop me off with the van," he admitted. "Sorry, but you'll have to drive us to the courthouse," he added in.

"Won't be a problem. I was heading that way anyways," I told him with a smile. "I just have to do my hair and make up real quick. You can come back and keep me company, then we'll head out," I suggested.

While I quickly, but carefully, did my make up and hair, Tig sat on the counter. He surprised me with a bit of conversation.

"Can I ask you something," he wondered.

"Hey, as long as it doesn't involve Jameson or tables, you're free to ask me anything you want," I responded.

"In the least negative way possible, how do you know this marriage is the right thing for you," he asked me, obviously a bit skeptical, probably because of his distaste for the groom.

"I don't," I admitted. "For all I know, I could find out next week that this was a huge mistake. But either way, I love him. That's not something I can ignore anymore. I tried to repress that feeling. I tried to lie to myself about it. But at the end of the day, when I see him, I just know that I need him. That I want him," I tried to explain.

"Can I ask you something," I asked in return.

"Shoot," he responded energetically.

"If Happy were the groom tonight, would you have asked me that question," I requested.

"Probably not," he admitted. "Man, I have to admit, Jenn, I'm a little worried about how he'll handle this when he gets back. I mean, this is pretty huge," Tig admitted.

"I think I know exactly how he'll handle it," I told him. "He'll keep acting like nothing bothers him. He'll stew silently. And he'll tell me to keep trying," I told Tig quietly, finishing up my make up.

"That sounds like Hap," Tig agreed.

"Let's go, Tiggy. You have to give away a bride," I told him with a smile.

About twenty minutes later, Tig and I were getting out of my car. Tig glanced around and almost immediately spotted the van and a couple of bikes.

"So, after this, small party at the clubhouse," Tig suggested.

"You know it," I told him with a smile as he took my hand in a friendly manner.

"The guys are already inside," he told me, nodding towards the van and bikes.

We entered the small courthouse, where I suddenly felt very self-conscious as everyone turned to stare at me. Tig walked with me to the group of guys who were waiting for our turn right outside one of the courtrooms. I saw Piney, Miles, Phil, Chucky, and was shocked to see Lyla. But the person that stood out the most was Herman. He watched me as Tig and I approached, still hand in hand. It felt strangely like being walked down the aisle. I don't think that was Tig's intent. I was pretty confident he held my hand in comfort, sensing my sudden anxiety that came with having everyone's attention on you.

"Wow, you look…amazing," Koz complimented with a smile as Tig released my hand.

"Thank you. I can't believe you wore a tie," I teased, noticing the royal blue tie and white button up beneath his cut. He still wore the baggy jeans and boots. But I liked it. I wouldn't have him dress any other way.

"Should I take it off," he questioned, wondering if the tie was too much.

"Later," I told him with a suggestive wink.

"I had Piney get a hold of Lyla. You should go talk to her before we go in. I don't think she'll be able to hang out long, the kids are with Ope's ma," he suggested.

"I'll be right back," I told him, still unable to stop myself from smiling.

I turned and went over to Lyla, who wore a sexy red dress.

"You okay," I asked, wondering if something was wrong and that was why she hadn't answered my calls.

"Yeah. Look, I wasn't trying to avoid you, I swear," Lyla began.

"It doesn't matter. You're here now," I told her.

She hugged me in response, "congratulations, Jenn."

"Thanks," I responded with a smile, hugging her back.

"I'll, um, fill you in on what's going on. Just not around the guys," Lyla promised.

"Only if you want to, hon. I understand if you're…hesitant to share certain things with me because I've known Ope since, well, birth. So, only if you want to," I assured her. 


	36. 036 Firinne

* * * I only own my own OC's. * * *

The next morning, I went in early. I wanted to talk to Tig before Koz got there. I figured he might worry if I just left before he woke up, so I left him a note while he was in the shower letting him know that I went up to TM. I found Tig almost immediately, opening the garage doors.

"You're here early. Already problems with the hubby," he asked, still having a distaste for Koz.

"No," I told him sternly. "I wanted to talk to you before Koz got here. You two arguing all the time tends to monopolize the time I spend around you both," I confided.

"You came to talk to me in private. That's usually not a good thing," he observed.

"I wanted to thank you, Tiggy. For everything. I know you and Herman aren't exactly close, hell you may never get back to that. But I love him and you supported that, for me. I just need to know that if shit gets thick, you'll keep doing so," I questioned.

"What? You mean, like, have his back," Tig asked, confused about my meaning.

"That's exactly what I mean. Keep him safe. Don't let him do anything stupid. And make sure that he comes back to me," I told him as I heard Koz pull in.

"Honey, he's one of my brothers. Brothers fight and even beat the hell out of each other sometimes, but I'll always watch his back," Tig promised.

"Thank you, Tiggy," I told him with a smile as Chucky answered the phone.

"You disappeared on me," Koz told me, kissing me in a greeting.

"Yeah, welcome to married life. They do that sometimes," Tig joked, while also being kind of serious.

"I just came to thank Tig," I halfway admitted.

"You're too nice," Herman told me while Chucky called Piney over to handle the phone call.

"Wow, what the fuck is going on here? I feel like I'm in the damned Twilight Zone," Trager commented. "You two are making me sick."

Koz and I both smiled at Tig's jesting.

"Boys, we need to talk…in private," Piney disclosed, giving me a look that ensured I knew they had some club business to discuss.

"Go take care of SAMCRO," I told Koz before giving him a kiss and heading into the office with Chucky.

"Hey, Chucky," I greeted.

"Hey, Jenn," he greeted in return. "I think we're pretty much caught up in here," he surprised me.

"Really," I asked, glancing over at the calendar. "Good job, Chuck," I appreciated slowly.

Why did today stand out so clearly on the calendar? It wasn't a holiday. It wasn't anyone's birthday.

"You alright, Jenna," Chucky questioned, noticing that I was now staring stone faced at the calendar.

"What," I asked, snapping out of my daze. "Oh, yeah. I just forgot I had something to do today," I lied.

"Oh, well, if you need to go, I've got things covered here," he offered.

"Thanks, Chuck. I just have to run out for a minute. Can you tell the guys if they come out while I'm gone," I asked, hoping he wouldn't relay the fact that I was a bit sketchy upon leaving.

"Yeah. You sure everything's alright," he asked again, obviously suspicious.

"Yeah. I'll bring back some lunch for us, okay," I told him with a smile.

Tearing my eyes away from the calendar, I headed back towards my car. Once inside, I grabbed a cigarette, feeling the need to kill some stress. Agitated and worried, I crushed the cigarette and threw it across the car.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

Piney, Tig, and I headed back outside. Tig had called the prospects in, so we would be waiting for them. I had a mild freak out when I noticed Jenna's car was gone.

"Chucky, where's Jenn," I asked, obviously worried.

"She said she had to run an errand or something. She said she would be right back," he revealed.

"How long ago did she leave," I asked, realizing that we had been inside for the better part of an hour.

"It was right after you guys went inside," he recalled.

"Shit," I commented.

"Call her man, make sure she's alright," Tig suggested.

I quickly pulled out my phone and called her. I soon became frustrated when she didn't answer.

"Damn it," I exclaimed, slamming the phone shut and heading towards my bike.

Tig followed.

We both stopped when we saw her white car pulling into the lot. She pulled into a parking space.

"How much do you tell her," Tig asked, surprising me with his concern for Jenna.

"It varies man. We take club shit a day at a time. Hell, there's some shit she's better off not knowing," I admitted.

"This isn't one of those things," Tig advised. "I'll hang back. You should talk to her. Let her know now isn't a time to disappear."

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I watched Tig and Koz talk while I threw a small bag into my purse. I stepped out of the car while Tig headed back towards the clubhouse. Koz approached as I began pulling out bags of barbeque and sides.

"You want to help me carry this in," I asked. "I grabbed food for everyone."

"We need to talk about something, babe," he told me, surprising me with his sudden worried expression.

"Everything alright," I asked, handing him a couple of the bags.

"That call, the club business Piney was referring to. Some scumbag is holding Tara and her boss hostage," Koz admitted bluntly.

"What the fuck," I exclaimed, suddenly less worried about my own problem. "What does he want?"

"He wants us to kill Alvarez, then bring him 250K from Alvarez's safe. We're waiting on the prospects now so we can go talk to Alvarez," he admitted.

"You can't kill Alvarez," I started, remembering him previously mentioning the truce between the Sons and the Mayans.

"We aren't. We're going to ask him for help," Koz revealed. "Look, when I came out here and saw you weren't here, after hearing about Tara, I kinda freaked out. For now, you don't leave my sight. If anything were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd do," he admitted, walking with me towards the clubhouse with the food.

"Okay, so when do we leave to talk to Alvarez," I questioned curiously.

"We," he asked, "no, you're not going?"

"You said that I won't be leaving your sight. So either, I go with, you leave Tig and Piney a man down," I told him, setting my bags down on the table.

Tig caught the tail end of our conversation.

"Really? You said you'd take her with you? I know you two are newlyweds and all, but this is a bit much," Tig complained.

"No, you aren't going Jenn," Koz argued, ignoring Tig.

"Yes, I am. It's either I go with, or I go back home. And if I go back home, you have absolutely no way of knowing whether I'm there or not, or if anything's happened," I told him sternly.

"Let her go," Piney chimed in.

"What," Tig and Koz exclaimed, looking at Piney as if he were insane.

"She's right. We can't make sure she's safe if we're all gone. And we need every man there. Plus, she might be able to help. She's been nabbed by the Mayans before. Maybe she can make him understand," Piney explained his reasoning.

I could tell from Tig's expression, that he was coming around to the idea. Koz, however, was visibly frustrated. He stormed out of the clubhouse, leaving me alone with Tig and Piney.

"I'll go talk to him," I began.

Tig gently grabbed my arm, "no, give him a minute. I have to agree with him on this, doll. You shouldn't be going. The old man has a point, but this is no place for a woman."

"I'll just put a dress on and go to the kitchen then," I commented harshly, taking my turn to storm out of the clubhouse.

Instead of joining Herman, who was stewing in the garage, I went and grabbed my purse from the car. The prospects pulled up as I headed towards the office, thinking about kicking Chucky out and locking myself inside in protest.

Instead I went over to Koz, tossing him my keys. He caught them and gave me a confused stare.

"Now you won't have to worry about me leaving while you're out," I told him flatly before heading inside the clubhouse.

I passed by Tig and Piney, who were grabbing a bite to eat before they had to head out. They both watched as I disappeared down the hallway and into Koz's room. I locked the door behind myself then sat on the bed. I pulled out he small bag from my purse and emptied the contents on the bed.

I had never used one of these before, so I was freaking out about all of the choices. How the hell was a girl supposed to know which one was good, or accurate, or…whatever?

I sighed and put the two boxes I had grabbed back into the bag as soon as I heard a knock on the door. I buried the bag back inside my purse and went over to the door.

"Jenn, open up," Koz softly requested from the other side of the door.

I took my time in doing so, but I eventually managed to open the door. Once the door was open, I immediately turned around and went to lay on the bed.

"Come on," he instructed, motioning for me to follow him out of the room.

"Where," I asked, my voice dripping with boredom.

"To see Alvarez," he revealed.

"I thought I was too fragile to go out with the big boys," I commented, continuing to lay on the bed.

He came and laid next to me, propping himself up on one elbow and facing me.

"Look, I'm not sorry for being protective. If I made you feel in any way…inadequate, that I apologize for. But I will not apologize for protecting and worrying about you. I love you, hon. And if something were to happen to you, I…I don't know that I wouldn't completely lose it and take out whoever harmed you," he admitted.

"You don't really need to apologize for anything, Koz. I'm hormonal. Besides, I'm more pissed at Tig right now anyway," I told him.

I didn't like being angry with Tig. He had quickly become such a good friend. I knew he was just looking out for me, but I wasn't a fucking child. I could take care of myself. Hadn't I proved that already?

"If you really don't want me to go, I'll wait here for you guys," I told him, thinking about the bag inside my purse.

"Pine's right, babe. You can relate to Tara in a way we can't. And I think you're prior experiences with the Mayans could sway Alvarez if we can't," Herman agreed.

I laid there for a moment contemplating his words. He leaned over and kissed me, causing me to kiss him back. I felt his hand against my waist. Then I broke the kiss.

"So, do you think you can kiss or fuck your way out of whatever you do to piss me off," I questioned suddenly, taking him off guard.

"What? No. I just…if I'm being honest here, I couldn't help myself. You were laying there with those pouty lips," he admitted with a smile. "Come on, babe. We have some business to handle," he finally told me, grabbing my hand and leading me out of the room.

About an hour later, we all pulled up outside Alvarez's house in the black van. Based on Tig's instruction, Phil and Miles waited in the van. I followed the guys into Alvarez's front yard.

Almost immediately, I saw him appearing to take out the trash, while holding a baby girl in his arms. I stood between Herman and Koz, so I had a pretty decent view. He immediately dropped the trash bag and pulled out a handgun. Koz, Tig, and Piney pulled their guns as well. In seconds, Alvarez's old lady appeared with a shotgun.

Most women would have run the other way screaming. I simply put my hands in plain view, letting Alvarez and his old lady know that I wasn't carrying.

Herman spoke up first, "hold it! Hold it! Wait a minute! Let's think this through."

Alvarez's old lady spoke next, "baby, what do we do?"

Herman spoke to Alvarez directly this time, "look, we just need to talk to you, okay."

He put his gun away before continuing, "this is a friendly visit."

He quickly instructed Tig and Piney, "put 'em away. Put 'em away."

Tig spoke up next, "come on, man. Come on."

Alvarez noticed Piney still pointing a gun at him, "the old man."

Tig addressed Piney, "Piney."

He then returned his attention to Alvarez, "Alvarez, he's right, we come in peace. Peace."

The Mayan President soon addressed his old lady, "take Tessa."

The woman went inside, still holding the baby, but waiting by the screen door.

Alvarez quickly began to question the Sons, "how'd you get my address?"

Tiggy responded first, "we got it from Salazar, man. You now what he's done? He's kidnapped Jax's old lady and a woman she works with."

"Are you serious," Alvarez questioned.

Piney spoke up this time, "he's got a very interesting list of demands."

"Salazar wanted us to come here and kill you, and then take that 250K you got hidden in your safe," Tig admitted.

"You know what I got in that safe," Alvarez questioned. "Two old watches, insurance policies, and my kid's baby teeth," he informed us. "Go ahead, check it out," he offered.

"Aw, shit," Tig commented.

I continued to stand there, my hands still visible, waiting for a moment to intercede.

"We'll get the money someplace else. What we need from you is to be dead, just until we get Tara back," Herman requested.

"Excuse me," Alvarez questioned.

"Just…just put it on the street, man. Alright? It'll get back to Salazar. That buys us some time," Tig tried to convince.

Alvarez quickly responded, "you know what happens to my business if my competition thinks I'm dead?"

"Marcus, we just need twenty four hours. Then you can rise from the dead, and all them vatos will go spooky respect with that shit, you know," Piney added in his two cents.

Angry now, Alvarez responded, "you come to my house, where my family is, pull gats, and make demands. You got any idea what I can do to you?"

I took that as my cue.

"I do," I told him calmly.

He glanced over at me, almost as if he had forgotten I was there to begin with.

"You know Billy Stone," I asked, wondering what the local Mayans had heard.

"Yeah, pissed off the Tacoma Mayan Pres," he commented.

"I'm Jenna…Stone," I began. "I'm Billy's daughter," I revealed.

He didn't speak, but he continued to keep his eyes on me.

"Did you hear about what happened to me, back in Tacoma," I asked, wondering if he knew what I had gone through.

He simply nodded.

"This is Jax's old lady, Alvarez. Imagine if what happened to me…happens to her," I tried to reason.

Koz quickly spoke up, "okay, it was stupid coming here, we know. But Jax's son is already missing. And the thought of him losing the girl he loves, we can't let that happen."

I glanced over at Koz now that Alvarez had decided to take his attention back to Koz.

"Look, I'm really sorry we upset your family, but…we're desperate. You're the only shot we got at saving those women. Look, we'll make it up to you…somehow. Please."

Marcus stood there for a moment, considering all things said.

"Alright. I'll play dead, twenty four hours…and that's it," he agreed.

"Thank you," Herman responded gratefully.

"And you come here again, truce, no truce…I'll kill all of you," he threatened.

Eager to get me out of Alvarez's view, Herman grabbed my hand and lead me back towards the van. Before we were out of the yard, I glanced back and spoke one last time.

"Thank you, Marcus," I appreciated. "And thank your old lady for me too," I told him, noticing how he looked to her when considering the options.

We rode back in silence, with Koz sitting with his arm around me in the back of the van. It was like he thought if he let go of me, that I would suddenly cease to exist.

As soon as we made it back to the clubhouse, I knew I needed some time alone.

"I'll meet you guys in the clubhouse," I told them, quickly escaping for Koz's room.

I swiftly grabbed the bag from my purse, emptying the contents onto the bed. I grabbed a box and dashed into the bathroom. I read the directions and quickly peed on the small plastic stick. Once done, I laid it on the counter.

I washed my hands and disappeared back into the bedroom to wait. My heart leapt when I saw Koz sitting on the bed, holding one of the boxes I had carelessly left on the bed.

"So, this is what's been bothering you," he questioned, looking up from the unopened pregnancy test to me.

"Yeah," I admitted lamely.

I sat beside him, unsure of what, if anything, I could say.

"You went to Alvarez's not knowing," he asked with irritation.

"I wanted to help Tara," I admitted. "I'm sorry. But I felt like I owed it to her…and Jackson," I revealed.

"How long do we have to wait," he asked, handing me the box.

"The one I took in, about three minutes left," I admitted.

"Why didn't you come to me with this," he asked, confused by my secrecy.

"Think about it, Herman. I mean, we literally just got married. A baby, too? That's a lot of change," I tried to reason. "That on top of the fact that I have no idea how you currently feel about having a child," I admitted.

He sat there in silence.

"Koz, baby, I need to know what's going on in your head right now," I requested, worrying now.

"I'm good with this," he told me, taking my hand in his. "I'm not lying to you when I tell you that I love you. I want to make a life with you," he admitted. "I just…worry about you."

"Worry," I questioned.

"I know you can't exactly erase how you feel about Happy. I'm afraid I'll end up losing you…to him," he admitted, looking over to me now.

The alarm on my phone went off, signaling that I could now check for my results.

"I'm going to go take a look," I told him, gesturing towards the bathroom.

Slowly, I approached the bathroom, nervous about what I would find in there. I grabbed the small plastic stick and the instruction page. I glanced between both and soon turned to face Koz.

I approached him slowly, as he still sat on the bed. I took his face into my hands, before revealing the results.

"Negative," I told him softly, watching him for a reaction.

He looked just as disappointed as I had imagined. I leaned down to kiss him.

Between kisses, he told me something I hadn't expected to hear, "we'll just have to keep trying."

I came to sit at the bar while Tig was on the phone with Salazar.

"It's done. We've killed Alvarez. We've got the 250K," Tig assured the kidnapper.

There was a pause as I grabbed a beer.

"Me too. Put Tara on the phone," he ordered.

I lit my first cigarette of the day as Tig spoke again, "doing okay, sweetheart?"

He paused momentarily.

"Okay, we're gonna bring you home, I promise," Tig assured her.

After a short period of silence on our end, Tig hung up.

"All right. Now all we've got to do is come up with 250K by tomorrow night," he advised as we all sipped on our beers.

***Hoping to have another up today.***


	37. 037 Bainne

* * * I only own my own OC's. * * *

With Tara missing, Koz and I decided it would be easier if we stayed at the clubhouse until we got her back. Tig seemed pleased to have the company, but often ragged on us. Due to the unusual silence in the clubhouse, and his room being next to ours, he often heard us…in the throws of passion. He often made it a point to throw something at the wall, or even bang on it.

Koz and I had been going at it like rabbits, as Lyla would put it. Any and every chance we could get to express our love, as well as relieve some tension, we took it.

On this morning, Herman and I were currently taking advantage of one of the few moments we had alone over the last few days.

Rather than a banging on the wall, we instead heard a banging on the door. Koz looked lustfully from me to the agitating door.

"Ignore it," I told him, begging him to ignore the interruption.

"Koz, gotta call Salazar," Tig almost yelled from the other side of the door.

"Are you shitting me," I complained, stopping and getting off of Koz.

He looked just as disappointed as I did.

"Go," I told him, grabbing a cigarette from the nightstand. "I'll be out in a minute," I added in, heading towards the bathroom.

Herman regrettably, but quickly, threw on clothes before coming into the bathroom where I was turning on the water to the shower.

"Sorry, baby," he told me, pulling me into a kiss as I turned to face him.

I lightly bit his lip, not helping his case.

"Damn it," he cursed, obviously wanting to continue what we had started.

"Well, you'll have to suffer for a bit…then maybe we can pick up where we left off later," I told him with a smirk.

"No maybes…that's a definitely," he promised with a smile.

"Go get Tara back," I instructed before dropping the cigarette in the bowl of the toilet and stepping into the shower.

Ten minutes and a cold shower later, I headed out towards the bar.

"Oh, coffee," I commented as Chucky poured another cup upon spotting me.

"Thanks, Chuck," I told him appreciatively, sitting beside Herman at the bar.

"You're welcome, Jenn," he responded, sliding the cup to me.

"Be careful, Chucky, this one may have claws today," Tig warned, shooting a teasing glance at me before dialing Salazar's number.

"You're fine, Chuck," I told him with a smile before returning my attention back towards Tig, "you, on the other hand can expect some payback."

"Where's the meet," Tig began immediately with Salazar.

There was a short pause where Salazar must have spoken.

"Yeah, Emerson Park. I know where that is," he admitted.

Another pause.

"No. No way. We're going to need more time," Tig tried to bargain.

He listened to Salazar momentarily before continuing, "we killed Alvarez last night. You got that confirmation, right? Well, who do you think the cops are going to come to first, man, okay? They're going to come here. We've got to be smart. We got to deal with them and make sure they don't tail us," Tig tried to convince the temperamental former Calaveras President.

He soon hung up, quickly addressing Koz and Piney.

"Alright. Bought us a few more hours.

Chucky surprised me when he spoke up, "hey, Tig, I might be able to help.

Piney interrupted, "no, not now, Chuck."

"I could press Lorca to make a couple quick sells on the houses up in Tacoma. But I still don't think that'll be fast enough," I offered.

"Thanks, doll, but it won't be fast enough. With all the legal paperwork involved, that could take ages," he appreciated.

"Dude, you were right about the cops," Koz told Tig, looking at the security cameras to see Unser, Agent Stahl, and her partner approaching.

Tig and Koz got up to head outside, I stood to join them.

"You should probably wait here," Tig suggested.

I gave him a 'go-to-hell' look and continued out the door with him. Koz didn't try to stop me, either pleased that I was pissing off Tig, or wanting to avoid a fight with me.

I sat beside Koz on one of the tables while Tig stood nearby. Unser, Agent Stahl, and her partner all approached.

"Tara Knowles is missing. Nearly two days," Stahl spoke first.

Tig, Koz, and I simply sat there. You could see the guilty expressions on Koz and Tig's faces.

"By your reactions, I'm guessing you already knew that. Does Jax Teller know," she questioned.

"No, he doesn't, and we're gonna keep it that way," Tig told her.

"Okay. Well, we would like to help," Stahl revealed, surprising all three of us.

"If you guys know anything," Unser began.

Tig interrupted, "really? None of you did shit to find Abel. You care about Tara now?"

"Tig, we got no choice," Koz tells him.

Tig contemplates accepting Stahl's help momentarily before nodding to Koz to go ahead.

"Hector Salazar, he's the one who took Tara and her boss," Koz revealed.

"Calaveras? Why," Unser questioned in confusion.

Tig spoke up this time, "we made some new Mexi alliances, didn't fall in favor with Salazar."

"His ransom was us killing Alvarez…and stealing 250K from his home safe," Herman told them.

"Which, of course, we didn't do," Tig added in.

"We got Alvarez to play dead for the day," Herman explained.

"But you still need the cash," Stahl commented, showing she understood where she was needed.

"Yeah," Tig admitted.

"We can help you with that," Stahl agreed.

"All right," Tig responded.

"Great. You stay here, we'll let you know the next move," Stahl advised before heading off with her blonde partner.

Tig motioned for me to stall Unser momentarily so he could give Piney a heads up on the police chief's presence in the clubhouse. Before heading in, Koz turned and kissed me.

"Doesn't this shit just make you sick," Tig asked Unser before heading inside.

"So, I heard a rumor about you," Unser revealed, addressing me now.

"There are plenty of them out there. Which one did you hear," I asked with a laugh.

"You and Koz got hitched. That true," he asked.

I showed him the ring.

"Congratulations, sweetheart. And just as a head's up, Gemma may kill you for this happening while she's gone," he congratulated and warned.

"Yeah, I know the risks. But it's worth it," I told him, leading him inside the clubhouse now.

"Sorry about Lumpy," Unser offered his condolences.

"Yeah, us too," Piney responded as I took my cup of coffee and sat on the other side of Koz, making room for Unser beside Piney.

"Can you…pour me one," Unser asked Chucky, referencing the shot that Piney had just taken.

"Scotch. Bottom shelf," Piney instructed, earning a glance from Unser.

"You guys were right about Lumpy. It wasn't the Mayans. Found out Hale's involved with a development deal down on Liberty Street," Unser revealed.

"I knew it. I did. I knew it," Tig commented.

"I got no hard evidence, but Hale is involved. He knows something," Unser relayed.

"Well, so do we. Salazar's the one who killed Lumpy," Tig told Unser.

"You got proof of that," he questioned.

"It's just street logic. Lumpy said the guy who attacked him was Mexican. Claimed the beat down was Mayan," Tig reminded him.

"And what other Mexican is carrying a grudge against Alvarez and SAMCRO, huh," Piney pointed out.

"We need Salazar alive. He can prove Hale's dirty. Then we bury that lying son of a bitch," Unser determined.

I stepped outside for a cigarette, letting the guys discuss any further business they needed to.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

I watched Jenna grab her cigarettes and head outside. I got up to follow her and make sure she was alright, but Tig stopped me.

"Let me talk to her, Koz," he requested.

"That depends, are you just gonna piss her off again," I challenged.

"No, man. I'm gonna go make peace," he admitted.

I sat back down with Piney, Unser, and Chucky, while Tig headed out the door after Jenna.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

I lit my cigarette, enjoying my first relaxed dose of nicotine for the day. I didn't count the cigarette before my shower, that was a stressed and frustrated dose.

"What, did you come to torment me some more," I asked, spotting Tig as he headed over to me.

"No, I came to see if you were alright. I've been pretty hard on you the last few days, huh," he realized.

"You know, I'm really mostly just pissed about the 'not a place for a woman' comment. Then it seems like right when I start to forget about it, you do something to fuck with me, then I get pissed at you all over again," I told him. "I don't like being angry with you, Tig," I admitted.

"You know, Happy would have agreed with me," he told me, watching me for a reaction. "They'll be back soon," he added in.

I didn't respond, so he continued.

"You stressing about that," he questioned.

"A little bit. I mean, I'll be glad that everyone's made it back alright, and that Jackson got Abel back. But I'm really not looking forward to pissing Gemma or Happy off," I admitted.

"Well, I'll quit messing with you. You should have a less stressful day before you have to deal with all of that," he decided. "But, whether we have Tara back or not, you two are not staying here tonight. I need some damn sleep. Go home and come back tomorrow," Tig ordered.

"Will do," I told him with a laugh.

A couple of hours later, Koz and I were hanging out up at Emerson Park with Piney. Tig would be handling the drop off, while Stahl and another agent looked on from their surveillance van. Meanwhile, her blonde partner, who I learned was Agent Tyler and another agent would be playing onlookers in the park.

"So, are you worried about everyone coming back and finding out about you and me," Herman questioned, leaning over a rail to watch the action.

"Are you asking me about everyone, or about Happy," I questioned, leaning against the rail beside him.

"Both," he admitted.

"I'll be honest with you. I'm a bit worried. But I figure that regardless of how they react, I'll still have you," I told him with a smile.

"So, do you know how you want to tell everyone," he asked, wondering if there was a best option for our situation.

"I don't know. Honestly, I just kind of figured tell Gemm, get her reaction out of the way, then everyone else would know because she's mad," I admitted.

"That's plan B," Koz responded with a laugh. "We'll come up with something, babe."

We watched as Tig dropped the backpack filled with 250K into the specified trash can.

"Oh, shit," Piney commented, seeing the two children on bicycles nabbing the bag.

"Son of a…" Koz commented, running his hands over his face.

We continued to watch as Tig chased down the kids, with Tyler and her partner joining in the chase.

In minutes, Tig was re-joining us, looking irritated, to say the least.

"What happened," I asked, not sure what had gone down once they were out of sight.

"He made us. He bailed," Tig revealed.

"What the fuck are we gonna do now," I asked, more concerned for Tara's safety now that Salazar knew the authorities were involved.

We stopped our conversation when the ATF agents joined us. It couldn't have even been a full minute before Stahl joined us.

"We picked up the money and the bicycle thief. He wasn't a mule," Stahl relayed.

"Yeah, no shit. That's why I went after him," Tig responded smartly.

"And Salazar," Piney questioned Stahl.

"We were too late. We lost him," Stahl relayed.

"He's going to kill the girls now," Tig lashed, starting to head back towards the bikes.

Stahl quickly got his attention, "you know what? You're the one who went off plan, asshole. You ran us right into Salazar."

I was surprised when Koz spoke up, defending Tig, "he was protecting the drop!"

Stahl yelled in response, "you know what? We could have caught that kid…and still had time to put the money back in that can."

She then arrogantly added in, "this shit pile's all yours."

With Tig now irate, he moved to attack Stahl, with Piney and Koz quickly moving to hold him back. I backed out of the way, keeping myself clear of Tiggy's path, just in case Koz and Piney decided to let him go at her.

I watched angrily as Stahl and her agents turned and left, leaving the four of us to figure out how to get Tara back ourselves.

Koz pulled Tig away to talk some sense into him, reminding him that he can't assault Stahl and hope to still be around to help get Tara back. I lit a cigarette and joined Piney as we waited on the guys to finish their talk.

"Those things will kill you," he commented, referencing my cigarette.

"Yeah, maybe. It's not my death I'm worried about. Piney, what if Tig is right? If Salazar kills the girls…that will seriously twist Jackson up. We have to find a way to get her back," I thought out loud.

"We're running out of ideas, sweetheart. You got any," he questioned.

"We need the guys to get back here…fast. With more on this, we'd have a shot at getting Tara back…alive," I commented.

We saw that Tig was heading towards the van, and took that as a cue that he had calmed down enough. Piney and I headed over towards the van. Herman waited for us to catch up, throwing his arm around me as we headed towards the van.

"So, what do you think about getting away for a few days once things settle down," Herman suggested hopefully.

"Like a…delayed honeymoon," I asked with a smile.

"Yeah. Anywhere you want to go," he told me as I got into the van.

"Let's see how things play out first, then we can talk about a little getaway," I told him with a smirk as he got in the van and sat beside me on the floor.

Two hours later, the phone at the clubhouse rang. I was cleaning up behind the bar and dropped the rag onto the counter. I took the few steps to answer the phone.

"Hello," I answered, wondering who would be calling the clubhouse.

"Ah, the cute blonde's old lady answers the phone too," a familiar voice commented.

"What do you want," I asked, recognizing Stahl's voice.

"I need to talk to your old man or Trager," she responded in a condescending manner.

"Hang on. I'll grab one of the guys," I told her, taking the cordless outside where the guys were working on a few cars.

"Koz, phone," I called from the doorway, holding the phone out for him.

I decided that it would be best to keep Tig from going off on Stahl again. While it may be well deserved, it would be best to keep Tig out of any future warpath's Stahl may be on. Kozik approached, wiping his hands free of some of the grease with a grease rag.

"Who is it," he asked, tossing the rag into a nearby bucket.

"That ATF bitch," I responded, handing him the phone.

* * * Kozik's Point of View * * *

Jenna stood beside me as I spoke on the phone, curious about why she would be calling.

"You find Tara," I asked immediately, hoping this would all be over.

"Your old lady has a mouth on her. Of course, I'm sure you knew that. How's the honeymoon," Stahl revealed her knowledge, not surprising me that she knew of our recent marriage.

"I'm not talking about this with you. Tell me what you're calling for," I demanded.

"You and Tig should probably come up to the station. Margaret Murphy just came in," she revealed. "Oh, and bring that pretty little wife of yours," she finished before hanging up.

"What did she want," Jenna asked, taking the phone back from me.

"Wants us down at the station. Tara's boss just came in," I began.

"Us," Jenna asked, unsure of my meaning.

"Me, Tig…you," I answered with a smile.

"I'm coming with," she asked in disbelief.

"Like it or not, you're a part of this now," I told her, leaning down to kiss her.

When I pulled away to go grab Tig, I teasingly added in, "besides, the ATF bitch suggested you come down, too. I think she has a crush on you."

"Keep dreaming, it'll never happen, honey," she responded, turning to head inside to put the phone back.

* * * Jenna's Point of View * * *

Twenty minutes later, Koz, Tig and I were entering the police station. We found Unser and Stahl waiting for us in the hallway.

"What's going on? What the hell happened," Tig questioned.

"Tara got a shot at the girlfriend, cut her pretty bad. She made a deal with Salazar that she'd keep the girl alive if he cut loose Margaret," Unser explained.

"He's still got Tara," Tig requested.

"I'm afraid so," Unser responded.

"He had 'em at his aunt's house. Foreclosure. We went through it top to bottom. It's empty. Still have an APB out on the car," Stahl filled in. "I'm sorry," she added in.

There was a strange, tense silence all the way around. I gently grabbed Herman's arm, tugging for him to come with me.

"Come on guys, we need to talk this over," I told both Tig and Koz.

I had to convince them to call Jax.


End file.
